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    (Original post by csea)
    I think arranged marriages are silly because both parties would most likely end up bitter towards each other and their families for putting them into a relationship from which they can't escape. Not everybody can get along just because it's an economically beneficial match. Having said that, I appreciate that, on occasion, they do work and create happy couples.
    It's not a forced marriage, and if things really don't go well they can get divorced.
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    (Original post by swahmad)
    Ah right thanks for reminding me
    no problem
    • #1
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    #1

    Guys I'm not gonna go on a date with her if someone else has to be present. Her dad, brother, imam or whoever; it would be far too awkward...

    I'm gonna ask my mum if she can somehow ask her parents to let me get to know her more and to take her out. Alone. It helps that her parents really like me and I think they'd probably allow it.
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    (Original post by theboilermantr15)
    It's not a forced marriage, and if things really don't go well they can get divorced.
    Still, even if they can get divorced, (which they can't in some societies) it seems pointless and a waste of time. You shouldn't have to marry someone to discover if they are the one for you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys I'm not gonna go on a date with her if someone else has to be present. Her dad, brother, imam or whoever; it would be far too awkward...

    I'm gonna ask my mum if she can somehow ask her parents to let me get to know her more and to take her out. Alone. It helps that her parents really like me and I think they'd probably allow it.
    well good luck with that .. i dont think u ill be able to go out with her alone
    but i get where ur coming from

    ive already told my parents i don't want an arranged marriage and my mums responce was : ' get educated then or else .. ' :O
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    say no and send her my way
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    #3

    Well, if i were you i would ask it if was possible to meet the girl, that way you can see if you guys would get on well/make a good couple. If you think it'll work and it's that important for it, i would say tell your mum yes.
    Good luck!
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    Well, I'd advice you to take her out (maybe alone, or in company... you wouldn't be doing anything sexual anyway, so it doesn't reeeeeally matter...) and then decide.
    If you like her, I'd say go for it. You can grow to love people, if you just spend time with them. So if you already like her nothing is saying you won't be able to love her someday.

    I any case, I wish you good luch with everything, may you choose whatever makes you happy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess that's the problem. I'm leaving for uni this year to Birmingham while they all live in London so I won't be able to see her. Even if I could I doubt her dad would let me just date her since they're also strict Muslims. :/ I'm getting the feeling that they don't want to be lead on and then risk me saying no and so want a definite answer and then to get us engaged.
    thats why you don't ask to "date".....

    you say that whilst you are seriously considering saying yes.....

    you would like to get to know her better so as you can be sure your marriage will be a good and happy one....and since your parents (and hers) would want you to have a good and happy marriage, they will say yes

    do this for several months....then make your choice

    and if she won't come up to B'ham, just see her when you come down to london in holidays and stuff....
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    Lol your only 18!! Tell ure parents to get a life and jam that hype!
    And get over it by watching the IPL
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    Chat on facebook/msn? Now you know what she physically looks like you should really get to know her personality since its more important. Meeting up with a girl in Islam in a public place(not in your bedroom) is not haram at all so just tell her lets hang out a couple of times and see how it goes?
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    Wait wait wait... Let me get this straight.

    Theres a hot girl who wants to marry you.

    And her Rich Dad is gonna give you every penny he has.

    This is a once in a lifetime oppertunity, this is probably the luckiest moment in your life, mine and even Jesus's (resurrected)

    It's like a prostitute paying you for sex!

    Take it dammit, or i will:perv:
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    Above is a perv ^
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys I'm not gonna go on a date with her if someone else has to be present. Her dad, brother, imam or whoever; it would be far too awkward...

    I'm gonna ask my mum if she can somehow ask her parents to let me get to know her more and to take her out. Alone. It helps that her parents really like me and I think they'd probably allow it.
    I've actually read alot of this thread, which is a first for me, because its interesting :lol:

    totally understand where you're coming from :/
    i honestly think if you ask your mum or she can ask her parents, then there is a good chance that they'll allow it, seriously things have changed these days, and if im correct in saying that they approached you guys with the proposal in the first place?? (when normally its the other way round) then it seems like they'll be open minded towards the meet. And it helps that they've already said yes :lol: soo they want this to work . Also if you cant really go out as it is, then im sure they'd let you sit in a diff room for a while where you can like talk it out :/
    It probably seems prty intense for you right now, but trust me its probably 10x worse for the girl and there isnt much she can do about it either

    Everthing with your ex was a lesson, if you're the sort of person that trusts your parents, then this could actually work :yep:

    (Original post by dadude)
    Chat on facebook/msn? Now you know what she physically looks like you should really get to know her personality since its more important. Meeting up with a girl in Islam in a public place(not in your bedroom) is not haram at all so just tell her lets hang out a couple of times and see how it goes?
    This. Also if you meet her once, you could take her number and chat that way. Im sure both your parents understand thats marraige is serious biz, neither of you can risk it, so you should be allowed to communicate to some extent before the engagement.....and once your engaged there'll be no problems at all :lol:


    Good luck mate


    i better be invited to that wedding :ninja:

    :cool:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys I'm not gonna go on a date with her if someone else has to be present. Her dad, brother, imam or whoever; it would be far too awkward...

    I'm gonna ask my mum if she can somehow ask her parents to let me get to know her more and to take her out. Alone. It helps that her parents really like me and I think they'd probably allow it.
    They might allow it, but then again becareful, if there religious they might not but as they want you that bad they'll probably stalk you guys
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll try and make this as short as possible but there's a lot to fit in so please bear with me.

    Please also note that the term "forced" doesn't come into this. if anything were to happen it would be consensual and neither of us will have been pressured into the marriage.

    Ok so I'm a male and of Pakistani heritage (though I haven't been there in 18 years, since I was an infant). I've only had one girlfriend ever and she was stunning. I mean, and I'm not exaggerating, she really was a 10/10. This girl was of mixed race and my family are very culture orientated and would've never accepted her unless she convered to Islam and I really wasn't even considering asking her that because I didn't want to suggest that I'd only marry her if she was a Muslim and put pressure on. I was so infaturated with this girl that I was prepared to get disowned by my parents to stay with her even if that meant them kicking me out of the house and never speaking to me again.

    All this was before I found out that in the 4 months that the girl was with me she had a threesome with two guys and a one night stand with another guy. I was obviously in shock because I couldn't believe that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life and put a girl before my family. (My parents don't know of this girl and have no idea I was in a relationship btw). As devastated as I was I felt so relieved that I learnt this lesson early on and promised myself not to put a girl over my family again.

    Aaagh I didn't want this to be so long so I'll just bulletpoint from now on

    -mum brought up the topic of marriage to me and told me that someone her approached her about their daughter marrying me
    -I'm leaving for uni and mum says as long as I'm in education I don't have to get married but that I would have to get "engaged" to this girl next year, my first year of uni
    -met the girl, very good looking and friendly but shy
    -her parents are super rich and she's their eldest daughter... her dad kept on telling me that all his wealth is mine for some reason... (I wouldn't take their money)

    So now I have to tell my mum within the next couple of months if I want to marry this girl or not. Apparently she has said yes so they're only waiting for my answer. After what that girl did to me I feel very bitter about dating again and can't trust a girl...:/ and this girl will never cheat. A year ago I would've never considered arranged marriage but that girl really put me off dating and am now considering saying yes...

    What should I do?
    yes
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    Tell your parents that you wish to see her a few times before marriage and get your parents to tell her parents and negotiate something....her parents seem old fashioned :/
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    (Original post by blueray)
    Above is a perv ^
    No, he's just a male.
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    (Original post by Superstar6318)
    No, he's just a male.
    So what so am I and many others, do we go about making perverted comments .... NO!
    Say nothing then
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys I'm not gonna go on a date with her if someone else has to be present. Her dad, brother, imam or whoever; it would be far too awkward...

    I'm gonna ask my mum if she can somehow ask her parents to let me get to know her more and to take her out. Alone. It helps that her parents really like me and I think they'd probably allow it.
    Just get married to that girl ASAP!

    IF you're going to get engaged and still be single through your uni years than the chances of this engagement lasting and a marriage taking place at the end of it is very slim.

    For hundreds and thousands of years people have got arranged marriage and lived happy lives, so don't fall into this 'getting to know' trap.

    You don't realise how lucky you are so don't lose this opportunity otherwise you will have to face your second biggest regret of your life.

    Man up and move on.
 
 
 
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