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    I love my mum
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    I love my family, despite their faults, because they brought me up and have stuck by me no matter what.
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    I love my parents.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you "love" your parents?
    Yes I do, I just don't show it as I am emotionally detached and if I have to show signs of emotion I consider myself weak... great parenting dad :rolleyes: but yeah I love them just don't show it as I can't I do want to show emotions more but I wasn't raised that way.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is your mum supposed to hug you and say she loves you when you're little or is that just in films???
    My mum didn't then again she didn't have much choice in the matter seeing as dad won the custody battle and I stayed with him until 6 years ago when mum finally got him to send me to the UK it isn't in films, mums do, do this but I suppose it is all different depending on the person.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you supposed to bond with your dad over football or fishing or something?? Is he supposed to tell everyone about what he did at work?
    We bonded over shooting, football, golf, rugby, fine wine/whisky and women
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think that not forming a bond with your parents makes it harder to have relationships?
    I'd say yes and no, I think this goes either way as I can't keep relationships down and I have a strong bond with dad so who knows.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you still feel worried about what your parents will think of you?
    Nope, I couldn't care any less, my dad is proud of my womanising ways (a thing he encouraged), mum just accepts that my dad has turned me into the emotionally detached person but she knows I love her.
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    yeh! i love them millions when i left home that was one of the hardest things, not having my parents around - i was so horrendously homesick at first! i felt it when i went travelling too, i had to be in contact with my mum at least once a day if possible, i missed them almost as much as i missed my boyfriend ahaha!

    somehow the conversation yesterday got onto what me & my siblings would do when they die.. i had to leave the room! i don't want to think about it at all
    • Welcome Squad
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    Welcome Squad
    I love them, but.......

    my mam is the one that raised me. She did everything for me. Yet.....we don't get on at ALL. She doesn't understand a single thing about me, she's constantly critical of me and everything about me, she's completely and utterly exasperating and completely hypocritical, domineering, and a general pain in the backside.

    Yet we're very close, we speak on the phone nearly every day (which is a bit too often if I'm honest, sometimes it gets annoying, but anyway....), she comes to visit generally once a week, we hug, we tell each other "love you" when she goes, or at the end of phone calls etc.

    basically, she's not a very nice person a lot of the time, but she's my mam, and she's the only one I've got, and I'd be devastated if anything happened to her. She doesn't do anything out of spite, but just because she's the world's most exasperating person. It makes her impossible to live with without going insane!

    As for my dad, he walked out when I was 6, and between the ages of 11 and 17 he wasn't in my life at all. I regained a relationship with him when I was 17, and nowadays I tend to see him about once a fortnight. We talk on facebook all the time.

    I do love him, we get on quite well, but he's not like a dad. He's more like an uncle, or a brother, or friend, or something, than a dad. He talks to me about women that he fancies, and makes pervy comments about women's boobs, and he's written an erotic novel which he's perfectly okay with me reading. He tells me about his worries and woes and so on. The only time he really steps up to the "dad role" is to give me money now and then. Like, he bought some bunk beds for my kids last week. He paid for my wedding as well. I think he feels that it makes up in some way from him not having been in my life when I was younger.

    So, honestly, I don't NEED either of them in my life. I lived without my dad for many years, and as for my mam, I'm better off living without her than I was with her. The arguments I used to have with my mam, on a daily basis, screaming, shouting....it was like world war three. I'm much more at peace away from her.

    But, I love them both, at the end of the day, if I DID need them, they'd be there for me, and you only get one set of parents in this world after all.

    If my kids grew up and didn't love me, my heart would break, it truly would.
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    my parents annoy me so much... especially my dad, so bloody irritating

    but yes, I still love them, and am going to miss them when (if) I head to uni
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    Yes. So much.
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    I really can't relate to a lot of people on here saying how detached they are from their parents, I love mine and they do a lot for me, for which I'm grateful. But we don't do the whole hugging and 'I love you' stuff, I don't think my dad's hugged me in years, the last time my mum hugged me was when I passed my driving test, before that it was on my birthday and then when I was ill when I was like 11. But when she does its like "awww, mummy." :h:
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    I feel sorry for your parents. Imagine not getting a mothers day or fathers day card. And yes I do love my parents, we've had the usual problem during the teenage years! But I still love them
    • #4
    #4

    I love my parents. My parents are separated.
    But with my mum, my family is really really close. I know most people don't have this kind of relationship, but the family is very honest and open, we tell each other everything, and we're so close-knit. We tell each other we love each other all the time, and it's such a supportive environment. It's amazing, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
    My Dad has also been great, except he's more emotionally reserved, and a 'just get on with things' type of person. He has told me he loves me and is proud.

    Recently however, due to a crazy girlfriend, domestic abuse and accidental half-sister - I have lost a lot of respect for my Dad. He's handled the last 4 years terribly, and I'm starting to resent him for a lot of things. I now feel as if he has no authority or ability to tell me what to do or how to live because he's f*ed up so badly. I'm getting quite bitter about how his actions have changed the movie-family-love thing we had going. I know now that my parents are flawed.

    So basically, I've had a huge screw-up in the last couple of years, major reality shock - but due to the first bit, and the fact that I know my Dad has tried his absolute best, and loves his kids to bits - even though I hate him a little right now, I will always love my parents.

    (Original post by tehFrance)
    mum just accepts that my dad has turned me into the emotionally detached person but she knows I love her.
    This caught my eye.

    I understand that because I know now how other people can affect you so much, and change you - but it also made me think that nobody can 'turn you' into anything.
    People can affect you, but it's the way you deal with it that makes you that way. Your Dad didn't 'turn you' into an emotionally detached person, because nobody can force you, and you have free will. But I understand that his affect caused you to react in that way. Still, it was your choice, your response. And it means you can change it if you want to.

    Nobody can 'make you' be anything.
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    Well I've never really had a dad and my mum is off her pickle. Though has a good heart. These things have made me realise two solid loving parents are so important for your happiness in life. I hope you guys who have this realise how lucky you are.
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    I absolutely love my parents, both of them.

    I've read the whole thread so I've forgotten the OP but I'll try and answer what I remember.

    My dad's always been there for me. We've fallen out some times especially during my rebellious year and he would give me the hairdryer treatment with good reason. Him doing that is probably the only reason I got my act together in time to now have an unconditional offer from KCL. Yes me and my dad have bonding moments. We always watch the football together and we go on little day trips (not very often these days). Yeah he's one of my best friends, ask him for advice on everything. He's an even better dad to my sister, she adores him to the extent that my gf gets upset seeing the relationship they have (my gf's dad is a tool and she doesn't even remember the last time he said I love you to her) and she still says I love you to him pretty often at the age of 27. She has her own life and everything so I don't know why someone described that as being clingy. If you can't cling to your dad who the hell can you cling to ? I'm moving out next year but that doesn't mean I wont be home once a week to see my parents. Sounds lame but I'm not looking forward to moving out, I'm gonna miss my family.

    My mum always did the hugging and kissing and telling me she loved me. I feel bad all the time because when I was a kid I never said it back enough and tried to act cool by shrugging it of I try and say it now but I hope she knows it anyway. Me and my mum get on really well and she's always been there for me and my sister. When we were growing up she adjusted her work schedule to pick us up from school (only working when we were in school basically) so she was always around.

    So yeah I have an amazing family. Problem is they are that amazing that I'm scared to try and have my own because judging by what I see in society and what I read on TSR, such families are a rarity these days. I'd hate for my kids to feel the way about me that some of you feel about your parents.

    When I was in my last year of primary school a good friend of mine lost his dad and I got so scared that my parents would die one day. I was crying and at night I'd walk up to their room to make sure they were still breathing (weird I know). Even when I was freaking out like that my mum and dad were so good to me, at 3 in the morning when I was ranting about losing them they both woke up and took care of me for hours. My sister still maintains my dads the only reason she got through her good friends death. I hate the thought of them not being around makes me sad.
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    I do love my parents very much I wouldn't say we were super 'close' as such, but we get on very well and its really nice to see them when I visit from uni. My parents are lovely to me, they did cuddle me and tell me they loved me when I was little (and they still do!).
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    No, I don't. Parents are overrated anyway.
    • PS Helper
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    PS Helper
    I do love my parents very much. Whenever the s***'s hit the fan for me, they have been there 100% to help and support me. I'd be devastated if anything were to happen to them. My love for my parents is unconditional, but my liking them isn't. Sometimes my mum in particular does things I don't really like (e.g. making snidey comments about the way I look) but I know she doesn't mean badly by them. They both are more politically conservative than I am, which leads to interesting dinnertime debates! Also, having their 26 year old daughter living at home can't be easy and I know there are things that I do that aren't their cup of tea and must drive them bonkers.

    My parents are never going to be my best friends, but me and my sister do get along with them quite well. We all eat dinner together most days and have a good catch up, and I always called them a couple of days a week at least when I was away at uni. I do tell my parents I love them most days - at the end of a phone call or before I go to bed - and I really hate leaving the house or going to bed angry with them.

    I'll leave the final thought on this matter to Philip Larkin -
    They f*** you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

    But they were f***ed up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
    Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another's throats.

    Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
    Get out as early as you can,
    And don't have any kids yourself.
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    I also love my parents, but it's not for what they have done for me in the past, i am grateful for all those things, but that doesn't create love. We respect each other, we can talk about feelings, i do salsa lessons with my mum and help my dad out in the garden. We go out for family meals fairly often and conversation is always nice and enjoyable. At the end of the day, they are everything i would ask for in a friend, as well as being my nurturing and protective parents. The movies aren't always unrealistic, but that doesn't mean they are the only way. I make sure to hug my mum every day and me and my dad do bond over thinks like cycling or working in the garden, but it's not the way it's "meant" to be, just the way it is for some people.

    In the past i would sulk about being dragged along with my parents, or i'd refuse to listen if they gave me advice, but i'm more mature now, though still not very, and i'm able to accept that they love me, and just enjoy spending time with me, if they give me advice, it's generally because they do know better, i may not always follow it as we do have to learn from our own mistakes, but i don't ignore it either.

    Again, this is just how it is for me, there's no particular way a relationship is 'meant' to be, instead a lot of different ways they may be, depending on the people involved. If you aren't close to your parents that's fine, but, personally, i feel it is important to have a strong bond with a few people at least, i count myself lucky i have that with my parents.
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    Yes, I love my parents.
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    Loving your family can be very strange at times - sometimes you say you don't love them, you even think you don't love them but deep down, their your family, there's always going to be a bond with them regardless of their faults. I have a good relationship generally with my mum and dad, with occasional disagreements but hey, thats family life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just wondered whether normal people (for example over 20) feel a kind of "bond" to your parents.

    I wouldn't say I love my parents. I don't even really like them very much. I could be away from them for years and not miss them a bit. I find them annoying. I don't look up to them. And am quite frankly ashamed to be related to them. I don't know what use they are to me apart from financial. That's why I never send mothers day or fathers day cards because it would be insincere.

    Like at school when people used to say "which of your parents do you love the most?" I thought well neither of them really.

    And on tv when people are at "bootcamp" or whatever and away from their parents for ages and they cry all the time and when they all come home and cry and hug and such like and I just think that's weird and over the top.

    Is your mum supposed to hug you and say she loves you when you're little or is that just in films???

    Are you supposed to bond with your dad over football or fishing or something?? Is he supposed to tell everyone about what he did at work?

    Do you think that not forming a bond with your parents makes it harder to have relationships?

    Do you still feel worried about what your parents will think of you?

    So... just wondering if it is normal to feel like this or if it is unusual? :confused: Are most people just embarrassed by their parents?


    (Also, I read somewhere that autistic children don't bond with their parents. But I'm not autistic.)

    I love my parents to bits, the thought of not having them around would kill me! (I often get worried if theyve gone out somewhere and they havent been back when they say they will in case somethings happened to them..silly i know as they are grown up but still!) Ive found my first year at uni incredibly hard, ive been very homesick and whenever i was home for a weekend id get upset about having to come back, this is one of the reasons i am transferring for year 2 so i can be at home again.

    I guess parenting is a major factor as to how you grow up and feel about your parents, when i was going through my 15/16/17 years i used to think my parents were super strict and id get mad at them and say its not fair, but now when i look back, i wouldnt have wanted it any other way, theyve pushed me so far, they supported every decision i make, from me doing crap in my alevels and taking a gap year to really think about what to do, to, my decision to transfer. I think the bond with my parents was absolutely cemented when i was 18 and i was diagnosed with depression. I was in tears and i hadnt told my parents that id gone to the doctors about it all and she came into my bedroom i just told her everything. She hugged me, told me she loved me and that id be okay, she even got upset herself. Just thinking about it makes me miss her 'supportiveness' so much. I try and makes sure i hear from at least one of my parents every day. And where my dad isnt so good with the depression stuff or anything like that (due to him having it himself and being indenial about it) he's amazing and everyday advice, like practical decisions and he was a full supporter in me learning to drive, taking me out all the time to get the hours in. Imagine his face when i finally passed my 8th test! But then again, at my brothers wedding, my dad cried, yes he cried, his only son is now officially entering the world that brought him in, and he now has a 7 week old son who i know will love my brother and his wife very much. At the hospital when he was born my brother looked at me and said 'You have no idea how amazing it feels to hold him in your arms and know that he's the best bits of me and the best bits of the person i love' He had the biggest grin on his face and to see him that happy was amazing. If it wasnt for the way our parents had been i dont think id have seen that.

    So yeah OP i guess i do love my parents, sure theres time when they might bicker between them and it pisses me off, but at the end of the day, theyve raised me, and my brother and my sister excellently (time will tell with the sister though as she's just hit the age of 13:facepalm:)

    Id be lost without them, and im counting down the days until i get to see them again for a hug and a laugh and to know that no matter what crap im going through, they will be there
 
 
 
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