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Do you "love" your parents? watch

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    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I love my parents I do but they drive me crazy. Sometimes (most of the time) I hate them, they don't actually know me, but that's my fault I don't ever let anyone close enough because they will just hurt you! This hate is growing stronger and I need my space right know I really think I need to move out, and if I do my relationship with my parents will be better!

    My parents relationship is not good they constantly shout etc. They honestly shouldn't be together, they had an arranged marriage and as a result I believe arranged marriages don't work! When I was younger my father used to physically abuse my mother I've seen all sorts. I know its affected me quite badly as this is the reason why I am so closed off and never want a relationship ever. Also all asian men repulse me I know it's wrong to think but in the back of my mind I think that all asian men will do what my dad did and it disgusts me!

    I Can't really look at my dad with love, I hate how they pretend nothing ever happened. Why don;t people think of the affects on the kids?
    Same here, I wouldn't go out with an african guy because they all repluse me and I don't really want a relationship, because I can't trust anyone and I don't want to lose control and be hurt. I do wonder, why bring kids into the world and not think of them? It's madness.

    Anyway to answer the OP's question, no I don't love my parents at all, they have abused me and hurt me all my life. As far as I am concerned, they are sperm and egg donors and providers.
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    No, I don't love my parents.
    They both left me to go be with their partners at the time when i was under 7, and then gave my gran no choice but to look after me.
    But I do love my gran.
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    More of a love-hate relationship with the mother.
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    yes I love my Mum and Dad, but I have really great parents
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by LizzayBT)
    i dont have any sort of relationship with my parents. i couldnt care less about them. but i guess its not very surprising considering i grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive home. anybody who knew my history would be surprised i havent lost it and killed my parents yet, or have been taken my child services when i was younger.
    Same here. :console:
    • #12
    #12

    Originally Posted by Wild_Precious_Life
    I despise my dad, feel sorry for my mum. But can't say they bring me happiness or that I look up to them. Always dreamed of a better family.
    Same here, I wish I had a better family, not one that spoiled me, but one that wouldn't abuse me
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    (Original post by lightburns)
    I was having a train of thought earlier which I'd be interested to hear what you'd say to it..
    If you had a choice between torturing X or Y, who would you have tortured? Nobody would know that you were responsible, but you MUST choose one. Just compare members of your family with each other, pets, friends, hypothetical strangers.

    So I realised that I am out of touch with humanity.. I got a pet snake last Christmas. My Dad and a single one of my friends (who I haven't talked to much for the last year, she's been away), and maaaaybe my Aunt are the only people who I would not torture. I care for my snake far more than I care for almost anybody.
    No, I'm not autistic either.

    As to what you say about bonds.. I don't think that it necessarily a killer for relationships. I had bonded with both parents. Bond severed with my Mum now, due to her open rejection of me. And now I understand the emotional abuse I've had over the years, she's terribly narcisstic.
    I haven't had bonds due to fishing etc. - bonds were just due mutual respect. Hence the lack of bond now with my mother.

    And yes, the hugging and crying is over the top. But I have divorced parents, so I'm used to being away from them for a long time.
    But. There's a difference between not loving someone and thinking you'd be able to torture them.
    :zomg:
    I can see why you've posed it, but my trains of similar thought tend to be "Who would you let be dropped off a cliff?" Not involving active torture.
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    Still think this needs a poll.
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    I still have cuddles from my Mother and I'm 19:awesome: FTW. :')
    Every family is different, every person unique so just because you don't have the 'perfect' family (which I honestly don't think exists!:hmmmm: We need hard times to strengthen relationships). Just enjoy what you have or don't have?

    P.S I love you Mum. Oh and my Father too. <.< >.>:ahee:
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    love my mum, hate my dad

    who can resist mums cooking :drool:
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    (Original post by blueray)
    Still think this needs a poll.
    Oh! I agree.
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    Yep, they've been great and my biggest influence really. Obviously we argue but I can't fault them much, I've had loads of freedom since age 10 but we still make time to talk about political issues and whatevs. I don't "cry when they leave" or get homesick, but only because I got over that age 8 due to travelling to see some other family virtually every term. I definitely respect them and will probs visit very often. It's great there'll always be a constant set of people in my life who wouldn't judge me, leave me or drift away into obscurity.
    • #13
    #13

    i love them in the way i love all my family, but i don't particularly get on with my mum. we used to be close, but as i've grown up i've realised that i actually have next to nothing in common with her, we don't share the same interests and unfortunately i can't see us getting closer.
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    Yes, I love my parents and don't wish them to be different to how they are, nor do I wish someone else's parents were mine. : )
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    I'm under 20, but will answer anyway.

    Yes, I love my parents, we know the love is there, but don't feel the need to show it 24/7 ie we don't hug/kiss or anything like that or say "I love you". We just know. :yep:
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    (Original post by sweeter than a cherry pie)
    But. There's a difference between not loving someone and thinking you'd be able to torture them.
    :zomg:
    I can see why you've posed it, but my trains of similar thought tend to be "Who would you let be dropped off a cliff?" Not involving active torture.
    :zomg: A cliff? I tried to do that train of thought but found it too uncomfortable! Obviously I wouldn't want to cause either pain, but I can choose comfortably between most individuals - I don't find it nearly as easy to choose who receives death.
    In the who-would-be-tortured situation, it's not always about who I love and don't love. It can also be about the difference in relationships.
    • #14
    #14

    Not really sure.

    I mean they have done lots for me and obviously love me. But then me and my dad used to have some pretty messed up fights, he hit me a lot when I was young (tbf I was a horrible little kid) I fought back as best I could, tried to attack him with a metal bar once. A few fights involved me grabbing a knife from the kitchen because I was scared ****less, once tried to commit suicide to hurt him (I knew he did actually love me so it would have done that). But that was all years ago, when I was 3-9 or something. We have both put that in the past, yes part of me hates him for ruining my childhood or at least my memory of it as I only remember the bad bits. But I know there were plenty of good bits, they just dont jump to my mind.

    These days he is fine most of the time, quite funny really, and I see myself in him in many ways.

    My mum is always nice if a bit naggy, but her sheer presence annoys me for some reason.

    The worst part is when they think they are involved in my life beyond the giving of money/roof over my head. I dont want them to be in any way, I dont want their opinions and have said as much. Yet they still want to be involved. We only talk about trivial matters like the weather really, well they try and question me but I walk away.

    Having said, if they were gone I would feel terrible and miss them. When I am away I dont miss them at all, but if they were dead it would be different. So I suppose I do in a way. Even the little part of me that really wants to hurt them in some deep and emotional way.
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    I do love them, they're two of the most important people in my life and I'd be distraught without them.
    But then...there is a part of me that resents them. I don't like some of their characteristics and find that I prefer my own company.
    Then again, this counts in general. I get slightly disillusioned by people because I do think they're naturally selfish.
    I don't know, I guess I find it hard to like people. Man, I'm too anti-social for my own good!
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    My parents drive my to distraction sometimes, but I wouldn't change them. We get along very well and as parents go, they are pretty damn cool :cool: I've started to get on with them a lot more as I've got older though.
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    I love my mother . I would sacrifice my life for her
    me and my father have never quite always seeing eye to eye.
 
 
 
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Updated: April 12, 2011
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