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    How would you rather go through uni (on a course where everyone somewhat knows everyone):

    Be yourself and confident ( with me that means banter, however at the cost of some friendships due to an upfront, 'say it how it is' personality ) Not give a **** about what people think of me and if that means my real friends begin to realise what im truely like then so be it....

    OR

    Be relaxed and more mature and conscious of how you are amongst people in a year group where lots of *****ing and judging goes on... Be the nice person to everyone despite it being false.....
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    ......
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    Don't be the nice one if you aren't actually nice, just be yourself, it's easier than holding up an elaborate lie.
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    You don't have to be at either end of the extreme, go somewhere in the middle - different situations call for different actions
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    I'm just gonna go ahead and not be the type of **** that makes dumb threads like this.
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    (Original post by Refrigerator)
    You don't have to be at either end of the extreme, go somewhere in the middle - different situations call for different actions
    Yeah thats gd advice tbh ... Bit difficult to be in the middle if u ask me though .. If i could do that it would be brilliant .. Don;t get me wrong i'm a genuinely decent guy but I always think that being nice all the time gets you nowhere ....
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    Honestly? First one. Make people want to hang around you, not the other way around.
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    (Original post by Jim-ie)
    Honestly? First one. Make people want to hang around you, not the other way around.
    Yeah thats actually a gd point!! ...
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    I think I am the second person. If I don't like someone for whatever reason and they speak to me I am not going to be rude and say '**** off I don't like you'. I wouldn't make an effort to speak to them and I would never hang around with them but I think it is a lot better for everybody if you show people respect and treat them nicely even if you don't like them.
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    (Original post by Sternumator)
    I think I am the second person. If I don't like someone for whatever reason and they speak to me I am not going to be rude and say '**** off I don't like you'. I wouldn't make an effort to speak to them and I would never hang around with them but I think it is a lot better for everybody if you show people respect and treat them nicely even if you don't like them.
    With people in general yeah I am like this ... However with my circle of friends which is just three of us ... I actually sometimes take myself to seriosuly only because I think i'm getting judged ... I have made comments to others in the past although very much true, sort of made me look bad in a way .. Ever since then I've learned to chill out more .. However now that, that has happened I've been taking myself to seriously and acting more mature and watch how I interact with people ... Basically my course is like seriously being in school again! ... You get labelled very quickly and word goes about fast ... Having said that my time at school was brilliant only because I held that popularity there .. uni people are way different and theres defoz a social hierarchy!!
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    (Original post by Liam 09)
    Don't be the nice one if you aren't actually nice, just be yourself, it's easier than holding up an elaborate lie.
    Truuee!
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    hmmmm
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    ..................
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    How the hell is there a social hierarchy on your course?
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    (Original post by Fumblenuts91)
    How the hell is there a social hierarchy on your course?
    How the hell could there not be?
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    (Original post by Insomnia)
    How the hell could there not be?
    This, including everything else you've said so far suggests to me that you haven't matured beyond thinking about popularity all the time.

    I'm fairly certain that the vast majority of people on your course wouldn't look at it as if there's any 'social hierarchy'. Uni is totally different to secondary school in that respect. No-one cares about who's popular.

    In response to the main topic of this thread, act however you want to act. But you seem to be seeing things in black and white over the whole 'saying it how it is' thing. If you know that something you're going to say will upset a friend...don't say it. That's just common decency. And not disingenuous at all. Saying it isn't going to make anyone think, 'Wow, he speaks the truth no matter what the cost, I admire him'. They'll just think, 'Wow, he's a prick.' You'd be alienating people for no good reason. If you have a good reason for saying something to a friend that will be hard for them to hear - a harsh truth for their own good or something - then don't let it come out in an obnoxious way, just sit them down and talk about it like an adult. They'd probably appreciate that a whole lot more than you using it as ammo for 'banter'.

    Just saying it like it is...
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    Wow...
    This is an amazing way to try and justify being a *****. There is a difference between "saying it how it is" and being rude, I feel that if you knew that difference, you wouldn't lose friends over your "personality".
    I would say that you should learn some tact.
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    (Original post by jessie6693)
    Wow...
    This is an amazing way to try and justify being a *****. There is a difference between "saying it how it is" and being rude, I feel that if you knew that difference, you wouldn't lose friends over your "personality".
    I would say that you should learn some tact.
    Yeah, this is more succinct than what I said. Go with this, OP.
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    (Original post by Fumblenuts91)
    This, including everything else you've said so far suggests to me that you haven't matured beyond thinking about popularity all the time.

    I'm fairly certain that the vast majority of people on your course wouldn't look at it as if there's any 'social hierarchy'. Uni is totally different to secondary school in that respect. No-one cares about who's popular.

    In response to the main topic of this thread, act however you want to act. But you seem to be seeing things in black and white over the whole 'saying it how it is' thing. If you know that something you're going to say will upset a friend...don't say it. That's just common decency. And not disingenuous at all. Saying it isn't going to make anyone think, 'Wow, he speaks the truth no matter what the cost, I admire him'. They'll just think, 'Wow, he's a prick.' You'd be alienating people for no good reason. If you have a good reason for saying something to a friend that will be hard for them to hear - a harsh truth for their own good or something - then don't let it come out in an obnoxious way, just sit them down and talk about it like an adult. They'd probably appreciate that a whole lot more than you using it as ammo for 'banter'.

    Just saying it like it is...
    LOL .. I really like this reply because you've replied in a way that is comepletely spot on .. Sometimes my banter comes out in a way that I don't realise someone is going to take offence thats all .. Something I should probz should work on!! .... In my course there is definitely a social hierarchy no doubt ... You've just got to be in it to realise it .. If you are rich and were privately schooled basically you know its going down well for you .. If u weren't u gotta a lot of work to do .. This my sound pathetic but its just the nature of the people im amongst
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    (Original post by Insomnia)
    LOL .. I really like this reply because you've replied in a way that is comepletely spot on .. Sometimes my banter comes out in a way that I don't realise someone is going to take offence thats all .. Something I should probz should work on!! .... In my course there is definitely a social hierarchy no doubt ... You've just got to be in it to realise it .. If you are rich and were privately schooled basically you know its going down well for you .. If u weren't u gotta a lot of work to do .. This my sound pathetic but its just the nature of the people im amongst
    Wow, I'm genuinely suprised you have any friends. I can be very blunt and rude sometimes but its never lost me any friends, maybe yours just realised how much of a snob you are.

    Also everyone gossips and *****es, get over it, its a simple part of human nature. Obviously it isnt nice that people ***** about you but it definately happens.

    Also in your original post you say you dont give a **** what people think? Obviously you do or you wouldnt have made this thread.

    I have some advice for you, grow up.
 
 
 
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