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I'm an inbetweener, stuck in a social rut watch

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    Anon because I know people on here.

    Let me give you an overview of the situation. I'm in year 12, in sixth form. My sixth form is composed of four secondary schools which share teaching, so it's a fairly big sixth form. I thought that when I got into sixth form, I would make a lot of new friends because I would meet lots of new people, but this isn't really the case. I wouldn't say I'm hugely popular, but I'm not one of the social outcasts either, I'm probably what would be best described as an 'inbetweener'. I feel as if I'm invisible to most people, I'm just 'that nice guy'.

    I have a group of friends, who I really like and enjoy hanging out with, it's reasonably big, but we tend to just do things within our group. We sit together at break and lunchtime and talk, it's nice, but we don't really get involved with everyone else. Everyone has people they talk to including myself, but they're not people I would consider hanging out with outside of school.

    I wouldn't say I'm shy, in fact I'm quite the loudmouth around my friends, I just find it difficult to talk to people I don't know because there's nothing to really talk about. If I were to go up to someone and say "hi, I'm ____, what are we talking about" it would be violating some unwritten social law. The classes I take, for whatever reason, seem to be composed of roughly the same people, so although I've got to know them, my social radar isn't exactly large.

    Above me and my friends in this invisible social heirachy is a large group of people you'd probably consider fairly popular. They all talk with each other in the common rooms, and throw massive parties, and talk to each other on Facebook. I'm not saying I want to be part of this, I don't want to abandon my friends, I just want to break out of the social rut I'm in, talk to more people, maybe get invited to a few more parties (that aren't ones consisting of only my friends), I want to be visible.

    I'm not a loner, I just want some advice really, how can I get to know more people? It may not seem like a big deal to you, but for whatever reason it is to me, and I don't like it. I'm not socially awkward, I just don't meet many people in my situation.
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    Anyone?
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    i find myself in a similar situation all the time, i have a group of friends but i feel i need to be more sociable. What i tend to do is find a 'link' you surely must have someone whos a close friends who is alright friends with someone of a higher 'social ranking' get in on a joke, or something you find funny. Try sharing a joke about a tv program like TOWIE or the inbetweeners that you can bring up in another conversation. Try make yourself better friends with one person rather than a whole group. then spread to three or four people etc. do it gradually and do NOT be clingy. Maybe have your own party slightly bigger than normal and invite a couple of them along, then it will make them want to return the favour. It could be they find your group even more exclusive as well. remember don't compare yourselves to them, it sounds like you have a great bunch of friends so by no means are they better than you. Just have a good time at the parties you do go to.,,
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    (Original post by raex)
    i find myself in a similar situation all the time, i have a group of friends but i feel i need to be more sociable. What i tend to do is find a 'link' you surely must have someone whos a close friends who is alright friends with someone of a higher 'social ranking' get in on a joke, or something you find funny. Try sharing a joke about a tv program like TOWIE or the inbetweeners that you can bring up in another conversation. Try make yourself better friends with one person rather than a whole group. then spread to three or four people etc. do it gradually and do NOT be clingy. Maybe have your own party slightly bigger than normal and invite a couple of them along, then it will make them want to return the favour. It could be they find your group even more exclusive as well. remember don't compare yourselves to them, it sounds like you have a great bunch of friends so by no means are they better than you. Just have a good time at the parties you do go to.,,
    That is quite helpful, I guess it wouldn't hurt to be more confident when I am around friends who know other people. Thanks
 
 
 
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