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How do I go about being friends with my sister? watch

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    Ok I'll be fruitfullly honest here..my sister annoys the absolute crap out of me! she's 4 and half years older than me, she's 25, im 20 (I'm a girl fyi).

    loads of stupid things she does really tick me off e.g. I hate her going into my room and the prospect of her going through my stuff - however at my uni house (or if i had friends over at home) I wouldnt give a monkeys about my friends/housemates going into my room and playing pranks and stuff aswell, infact i love it that we're so close we can just borrow stuff if we need it and muck around. - but with my sister its so bad, if i hear her going into my room i bolt upstairs to see what the heck she's up to!

    Another thing that really annoys me is that i feel like she patronises me alot, now this will sound ridiculous but even the way she says hi or morning to me sounds like she's being really upity and patronising sometimes..dont ask how but thats what i get from it.

    of course now i'm writing about this I cant even remember half the stuff she does to irritate me so much but anyway....
    aswell as this we barely talk,and as much as she annoys me we dont even fight or anything really, on occasion yes but most of the time we just dont talk..i mean come on..its weird!! and I dont trust her to talk to about stuff to be honest, though its very clear she doesnt trust me either..I don't know anything about her..who her first kiss was, who her first time was with etc etc - and I would love to talk about that stuff and not just on a one time occurance, all the time! I think part of why she annoys me aswell is maybe resentment because frankly she hasnt been much of a sister that way - she never talked to me about boys or even friends (especially when fall outs happen), she never took me out shopping or showed me how to put on makeup or do my hair, she never done anything like bring me on nites out or to houseparties or anything when i was younger. and that really annoys me..if i had a younger sister i would really want to do all those things but frankly it feels like she just never cared enough and/or couldnt be bothered!

    She's also alot more uptight than me, and i dont really feel comfortable around her, me and all my friends are very laid back, we tease each other loads - like would call each other offensive names and stuff like that - but its all a joke - but i swear if my sister was there she either wouldnt get it or would think we were immature or something, if we're ever out together I feel like i cant drink as much as i want cause she'll judge me and theres loads of stuff like this that really gets to me..

    i also feel like i could never talk to her the way i talk to my friends - i talk to them about anything: sex, money problems (and even more serious stuff - my brother got into drugs about 6 years ago and was expelled from school.. i was in 2nd/3rd year of high school when this all started..since then its been like a neverending spiral with him, he's become mentally ill as a result and he has went into very deep rage on so many occasions i have lost count, causing not only damage to the house etc but also getting into fights with my dad and physically hurting my mum on several occasions too..from the time that began to now where its still going on..ive never talked to my sister about it..she was away at uni during alot of it but she was still aware and not once did she ever ask me how things were and were things going alright at home...nothing) but i dont feel i can speak to her about that.. a family issue of all things and i cant even speak to my sister about it... my friends and i also talk about alot more light random topics as well lol! but i feel like i cant be who i am around her and talk random crap to her, me and my friends dance around our uni house singing songs we make up and we practically have our own language from made up words and words from each other's hometowns etc (this might sound pathetic but mehh its fun) and im neevvvvveerrr like that with my sister.

    i could go on here but tbh i think this post has gotten long enough..my point is i want to be closer with my sister (some of my closest friends have a pretty decent relationship with their sisters and it really gets me down that i dont have that, well when she isnt annoying me! and i want it even more because of my brother..i was very close with my brother when we were younger - maybe this is why me and my sis arent so close now, as even back then when we were kids i wasnt all that close with her -....and much as i hate my brother for what he's done over the years, over time i came to realise as well as the anger i have for him- it makes me really sad aswell, as horrible as it might be to say this..i kind of feel like my brother has like passed away, he's still there physically but otherwise its like he's dead - i dont have a relationship with him at all, i barely say a word to him and my sister is the only sibling i have left - i would like things to be good with her and for her to be one of my best friends - if i get married someday, i want her to be a bridesmaid because she is my best friend and sister who i really adore, i dont her to be my bridesmaid because i feel obligated to ask because she is my sister) - and i am trying, the things that annoy me about her..i try to sweep off and i realise im maybe being a prat sometimes but i swear the way we barely talk and everything..it just bugs me..i wouldnt let a friend treat me that way so why put up with it for her..its not as if she balances it out with being a really great sister the rest of the time -

    i was in the making an effort with her zone for her birthday this year and did what me and my friends do for each other on birthdays - decorated the table and everything, blew up balloons and wrote her a really nice card saying how much i want to be closer with her and stuff and what i wrote - i mean i really did sit down and think about it when i was writing it - but i never even got a thank you for that, well when we were sitting in the house with her 2 friends and mum came in my sis was saying she came down to the kitchen and was like wow where did all that come from and she said thanks to mum and mum was like that was (my name) and then she was like well thanks to whoever did it or something along those lines, but she never said one peep about the card, no thank you, no sitting down to talk to me the next day and tell me she wants to be closer too..nothing!! (i mean geez i know its not a great big expensive present and i would have gotten her a decent present but tbh im strapped for cash, it was nothing really but it did take effort and thought, a heartfelt cheers would have been nice!) and tbh that really p***ed me off, it took alot for me to say that stuff to her, especially considering i kind of feel like she should be the one to approach me and now i definately think she should be the one to approach me since i tried to reach out to her and she didnt even respond!

    ......there i go ranting again ...so yeah basically..opinions on all of this please..am i being a b**** ?? am i right to want her to approach me first to make things better and if she doesnt should i just leave it and think im better off without? has anyone been in this situation - from both angles? what do i do? and also any tips on not letting her annoy me/getting to a stage where i dont want go upstairs and catch her in the act when she's in my room?? I would really appreciate alot of words of wisdom here, as i feel like this is the way we should have got on when we were like 13 and 17 or something, i just want to have a relationship with her and to have a relationship with her like the one i have with my best friends..please help!!
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    I read the title wrong. :sad:
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    OMG! you expect us to read all that
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    You expect anyone to read that!?
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    CBA reading all that, but with nearly 7 billion people in the world, can't you find someone else to fight with instead of your own flesh and blood ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sister problem
    Tbh with you, if you tried the card thing and she just ignored it like that and tried to play down your efforts for her birthday the way she did. What else can you do really? its not like she dosen't know how you feel.

    I also cant beleive i read all that i must add.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok I'll be fruitfullly honest here..my sister annoys the absolute crap out of me! she's 4 and half years older than me, she's 25, im 20 (I'm a girl fyi).

    loads of stupid things she does really tick me off e.g. I hate her going into my room and the prospect of her going through my stuff - however at my uni house (or if i had friends over at home) I wouldnt give a monkeys about my friends/housemates going into my room and playing pranks and stuff aswell, infact i love it that we're so close we can just borrow stuff if we need it and muck around. - but with my sister its so bad, if i hear her going into my room i bolt upstairs to see what the heck she's up to!

    Another thing that really annoys me is that i feel like she patronises me alot, now this will sound ridiculous but even the way she says hi or morning to me sounds like she's being really upity and patronising sometimes..dont ask how but thats what i get from it.

    of course now i'm writing about this I cant even remember half the stuff she does to irritate me so much but anyway....
    aswell as this we barely talk,and as much as she annoys me we dont even fight or anything really, on occasion yes but most of the time we just dont talk..i mean come on..its weird!! and I dont trust her to talk to about stuff to be honest, though its very clear she doesnt trust me either..I don't know anything about her..who her first kiss was, who her first time was with etc etc - and I would love to talk about that stuff and not just on a one time occurance, all the time! I think part of why she annoys me aswell is maybe resentment because frankly she hasnt been much of a sister that way - she never talked to me about boys or even friends (especially when fall outs happen), she never took me out shopping or showed me how to put on makeup or do my hair, she never done anything like bring me on nites out or to houseparties or anything when i was younger. and that really annoys me..if i had a younger sister i would really want to do all those things but frankly it feels like she just never cared enough and/or couldnt be bothered!

    She's also alot more uptight than me, and i dont really feel comfortable around her, me and all my friends are very laid back, we tease each other loads - like would call each other offensive names and stuff like that - but its all a joke - but i swear if my sister was there she either wouldnt get it or would think we were immature or something, if we're ever out together I feel like i cant drink as much as i want cause she'll judge me and theres loads of stuff like this that really gets to me..

    i also feel like i could never talk to her the way i talk to my friends - i talk to them about anything: sex, money problems (and even more serious stuff - my brother got into drugs about 6 years ago and was expelled from school.. i was in 2nd/3rd year of high school when this all started..since then its been like a neverending spiral with him, he's become mentally ill as a result and he has went into very deep rage on so many occasions i have lost count, causing not only damage to the house etc but also getting into fights with my dad and physically hurting my mum on several occasions too..from the time that began to now where its still going on..ive never talked to my sister about it..she was away at uni during alot of it but she was still aware and not once did she ever ask me how things were and were things going alright at home...nothing) but i dont feel i can speak to her about that.. a family issue of all things and i cant even speak to my sister about it... my friends and i also talk about alot more light random topics as well lol! but i feel like i cant be who i am around her and talk random crap to her, me and my friends dance around our uni house singing songs we make up and we practically have our own language from made up words and words from each other's hometowns etc (this might sound pathetic but mehh its fun) and im neevvvvveerrr like that with my sister.

    i could go on here but tbh i think this post has gotten long enough..my point is i want to be closer with my sister (some of my closest friends have a pretty decent relationship with their sisters and it really gets me down that i dont have that, well when she isnt annoying me! and i want it even more because of my brother..i was very close with my brother when we were younger - maybe this is why me and my sis arent so close now, as even back then when we were kids i wasnt all that close with her -....and much as i hate my brother for what he's done over the years, over time i came to realise as well as the anger i have for him- it makes me really sad aswell, as horrible as it might be to say this..i kind of feel like my brother has like passed away, he's still there physically but otherwise its like he's dead - i dont have a relationship with him at all, i barely say a word to him and my sister is the only sibling i have left - i would like things to be good with her and for her to be one of my best friends - if i get married someday, i want her to be a bridesmaid because she is my best friend and sister who i really adore, i dont her to be my bridesmaid because i feel obligated to ask because she is my sister) - and i am trying, the things that annoy me about her..i try to sweep off and i realise im maybe being a prat sometimes but i swear the way we barely talk and everything..it just bugs me..i wouldnt let a friend treat me that way so why put up with it for her..its not as if she balances it out with being a really great sister the rest of the time -

    i was in the making an effort with her zone for her birthday this year and did what me and my friends do for each other on birthdays - decorated the table and everything, blew up balloons and wrote her a really nice card saying how much i want to be closer with her and stuff and what i wrote - i mean i really did sit down and think about it when i was writing it - but i never even got a thank you for that, well when we were sitting in the house with her 2 friends and mum came in my sis was saying she came down to the kitchen and was like wow where did all that come from and she said thanks to mum and mum was like that was (my name) and then she was like well thanks to whoever did it or something along those lines, but she never said one peep about the card, no thank you, no sitting down to talk to me the next day and tell me she wants to be closer too..nothing!! (i mean geez i know its not a great big expensive present and i would have gotten her a decent present but tbh im strapped for cash, it was nothing really but it did take effort and thought, a heartfelt cheers would have been nice!) and tbh that really p***ed me off, it took alot for me to say that stuff to her, especially considering i kind of feel like she should be the one to approach me and now i definately think she should be the one to approach me since i tried to reach out to her and she didnt even respond!

    ......there i go ranting again ...so yeah basically..opinions on all of this please..am i being a b**** ?? am i right to want her to approach me first to make things better and if she doesnt should i just leave it and think im better off without? has anyone been in this situation - from both angles? what do i do? and also any tips on not letting her annoy me/getting to a stage where i dont want go upstairs and catch her in the act when she's in my room?? I would really appreciate alot of words of wisdom here, as i feel like this is the way we should have got on when we were like 13 and 17 or something, i just want to have a relationship with her and to have a relationship with her like the one i have with my best friends..please help!!
    What things annoy you about her? maybe shes not aware of how it makes you feel and stuff. The key to good relationships is communication, so perhaps you should tell her politely that the 'things' she does annoy you?
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    It's family isn't it, they can annoy you in a way no one else can and in a way you can never explain to another person. My mum can annoy me just by saying my name in a certain way lol. You put up with it because they're you're family. God I've put up with some stuff but at the same time my family have probably put up with more from me.

    Why don't you trust your sister in your room? Has she ever knicked your stuff and not returned it? Maybe you just need to chill out a bit more and give her a bit of slack, rather than getting pissed off with her for going in your room and saying good morning in the wrong tone of voice. Also stop legging it upstairs to see what she's up to in your room, it's showing her you don't trust her, just try and ignore it.

    Invite her to go and have lunch with you, or take her a cup of coffee, or when you're at Uni ask her to skype with you. I think if you really want to change your relationship it will take time and from the sounds of it it will mostly have to be you doing the leg work but it depends how much you want to be on those kind of terms with your sister ay? It is worth it. I love my sister Just make lots of small gestures and try to start more natural conversations with her.
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    If you really want to be friends with her.. just start by doing small things. Find a common interest etc.

    But then again, you don't really have to be friends with your sister. My older sister and I don't get along at all and we're fine with that
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok I'll be fruitfullly honest here..my sister annoys the absolute crap out of me! she's 4 and half years older than me, she's 25, im 20 (I'm a girl fyi).

    loads of stupid things she does really tick me off e.g. I hate her going into my room and the prospect of her going through my stuff - however at my uni house (or if i had friends over at home) I wouldnt give a monkeys about my friends/housemates going into my room and playing pranks and stuff aswell, infact i love it that we're so close we can just borrow stuff if we need it and muck around. - but with my sister its so bad, if i hear her going into my room i bolt upstairs to see what the heck she's up to!

    Another thing that really annoys me is that i feel like she patronises me alot, now this will sound ridiculous but even the way she says hi or morning to me sounds like she's being really upity and patronising sometimes..dont ask how but thats what i get from it.

    of course now i'm writing about this I cant even remember half the stuff she does to irritate me so much but anyway....
    aswell as this we barely talk,and as much as she annoys me we dont even fight or anything really, on occasion yes but most of the time we just dont talk..i mean come on..its weird!! and I dont trust her to talk to about stuff to be honest, though its very clear she doesnt trust me either..I don't know anything about her..who her first kiss was, who her first time was with etc etc - and I would love to talk about that stuff and not just on a one time occurance, all the time! I think part of why she annoys me aswell is maybe resentment because frankly she hasnt been much of a sister that way - she never talked to me about boys or even friends (especially when fall outs happen), she never took me out shopping or showed me how to put on makeup or do my hair, she never done anything like bring me on nites out or to houseparties or anything when i was younger. and that really annoys me..if i had a younger sister i would really want to do all those things but frankly it feels like she just never cared enough and/or couldnt be bothered!

    She's also alot more uptight than me, and i dont really feel comfortable around her, me and all my friends are very laid back, we tease each other loads - like would call each other offensive names and stuff like that - but its all a joke - but i swear if my sister was there she either wouldnt get it or would think we were immature or something, if we're ever out together I feel like i cant drink as much as i want cause she'll judge me and theres loads of stuff like this that really gets to me..

    i also feel like i could never talk to her the way i talk to my friends - i talk to them about anything: sex, money problems (and even more serious stuff - my brother got into drugs about 6 years ago and was expelled from school.. i was in 2nd/3rd year of high school when this all started..since then its been like a neverending spiral with him, he's become mentally ill as a result and he has went into very deep rage on so many occasions i have lost count, causing not only damage to the house etc but also getting into fights with my dad and physically hurting my mum on several occasions too..from the time that began to now where its still going on..ive never talked to my sister about it..she was away at uni during alot of it but she was still aware and not once did she ever ask me how things were and were things going alright at home...nothing) but i dont feel i can speak to her about that.. a family issue of all things and i cant even speak to my sister about it... my friends and i also talk about alot more light random topics as well lol! but i feel like i cant be who i am around her and talk random crap to her, me and my friends dance around our uni house singing songs we make up and we practically have our own language from made up words and words from each other's hometowns etc (this might sound pathetic but mehh its fun) and im neevvvvveerrr like that with my sister.

    i could go on here but tbh i think this post has gotten long enough..my point is i want to be closer with my sister (some of my closest friends have a pretty decent relationship with their sisters and it really gets me down that i dont have that, well when she isnt annoying me! and i want it even more because of my brother..i was very close with my brother when we were younger - maybe this is why me and my sis arent so close now, as even back then when we were kids i wasnt all that close with her -....and much as i hate my brother for what he's done over the years, over time i came to realise as well as the anger i have for him- it makes me really sad aswell, as horrible as it might be to say this..i kind of feel like my brother has like passed away, he's still there physically but otherwise its like he's dead - i dont have a relationship with him at all, i barely say a word to him and my sister is the only sibling i have left - i would like things to be good with her and for her to be one of my best friends - if i get married someday, i want her to be a bridesmaid because she is my best friend and sister who i really adore, i dont her to be my bridesmaid because i feel obligated to ask because she is my sister) - and i am trying, the things that annoy me about her..i try to sweep off and i realise im maybe being a prat sometimes but i swear the way we barely talk and everything..it just bugs me..i wouldnt let a friend treat me that way so why put up with it for her..its not as if she balances it out with being a really great sister the rest of the time -

    i was in the making an effort with her zone for her birthday this year and did what me and my friends do for each other on birthdays - decorated the table and everything, blew up balloons and wrote her a really nice card saying how much i want to be closer with her and stuff and what i wrote - i mean i really did sit down and think about it when i was writing it - but i never even got a thank you for that, well when we were sitting in the house with her 2 friends and mum came in my sis was saying she came down to the kitchen and was like wow where did all that come from and she said thanks to mum and mum was like that was (my name) and then she was like well thanks to whoever did it or something along those lines, but she never said one peep about the card, no thank you, no sitting down to talk to me the next day and tell me she wants to be closer too..nothing!! (i mean geez i know its not a great big expensive present and i would have gotten her a decent present but tbh im strapped for cash, it was nothing really but it did take effort and thought, a heartfelt cheers would have been nice!) and tbh that really p***ed me off, it took alot for me to say that stuff to her, especially considering i kind of feel like she should be the one to approach me and now i definately think she should be the one to approach me since i tried to reach out to her and she didnt even respond!

    ......there i go ranting again ...so yeah basically..opinions on all of this please..am i being a b**** ?? am i right to want her to approach me first to make things better and if she doesnt should i just leave it and think im better off without? has anyone been in this situation - from both angles? what do i do? and also any tips on not letting her annoy me/getting to a stage where i dont want go upstairs and catch her in the act when she's in my room?? I would really appreciate alot of words of wisdom here, as i feel like this is the way we should have got on when we were like 13 and 17 or something, i just want to have a relationship with her and to have a relationship with her like the one i have with my best friends..please help!!
    Don't speak to her, just bring her to the computer and show her this post. It's so much easier pouring emotions out onto a computer or letter, than saying it face to face.

    Believe me, if you want some decent advice, do what I said. Tell her to read this, or shove this in her face, post back with the result. Hope it works out.
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    I was gonna give you specific advice but I seriously can't be arsed to read all that. Just try and always be nice to her, even if she isn't nice to you back. It's difficult, but that's how you do it. Find things you both enjoy, etc. etc.
 
 
 
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