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Be honest: could you respect an outcast? watch

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    ANON please or delete.

    I am quite a nice person (IMO) and I don't ever believe that I do anything wrong. I am helpful to people and polite (maybe too polite). I don't go looking for fights, and I don't say things I shouldn't say.

    Yet I am a loner, with no friends whatsoever.

    The main and perhaps only reason nobody likes me is because...nobody likes me.

    It's a vicious circle. And at work this is how I am judged. Nothing I will do will ever change it, because people have it in for me.

    Work colleagues don't criticise me to my face, but it's the rejection and the outcasting that excludes me. Because I am known as a loner, nobody else wants to be seen around me.

    To make matters worse, I am some years older than a lot of people that I work with (yet younger than others, too).

    I am a quiet person, who has never really understood the art of acquiring social skills, but part of this is because I am not given a fair crack of the whip.

    Do I have any hope whatsoever?
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    Give them money and they will like you.

    Fixed.
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    (Original post by No!)
    Give them money and they will like you.

    Fixed.
    This doesn't work. I've tried it before. You just get into trouble.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    This doesn't work. I've tried it before. You just get into trouble.
    You're doing it wrong.
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    truthfully probbaly not but like one person said give some money
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    I know EXACTLY how you feel.
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    Hey!

    That's a bid sad... I actually have been in that situation for a year or two and it's INCREDIBLE how people's opinion change as soon as you start talking to them. Really, you should try and chat a bit with some of them, to see how they react. Don't try too hard though, they might be embarassed - yes, they are sad.

    There're this guy in my class, same problem, except that the way he speaks and acts is sometimes really strange so people laugh at him and exclude him, which I find really irritating, and some friends and me always try to make him feel welcome. I'm not trying to say I'm Mother Teresa etc, just want to give you a bit of hope, some people do care.
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    http://i53.tinypic.com/29belvp.jpg

    I think I could.
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    How do you know they don't like you? A lot of people out there don't fully understand shy people and think want to be left alone, it doesn't mean they hate you!

    For the record i was in your situation too. Its very possible to increase your confidence with the right attitude, going around saying 'nobody likes me' etc won't get you anywhere. I eventually built up some confidence which i've taken forward and made some amazing friends. I got out of it, so can you.

    (Original post by Elana18)
    Hey!

    That's a bid sad... I actually have been in that situation for a year or two and it's INCREDIBLE how people's opinion change as soon as you start talking to them. Really, you should try and chat a bit with some of them, to see how they react. Don't try too hard though, they might be embarassed - yes, they are sad.

    There're this guy in my class, same problem, except that the way he speaks and acts is sometimes really strange so people laugh at him and exclude him, which I find really irritating, and some friends and me always try to make him feel welcome. I'm not trying to say I'm Mother Teresa etc, just want to give you a bit of hope, some people do care.
    Second that. Even simple things like posture and facial expressions help make you so much more approachable.

    Very nice of you to include him btw, most people are so dismissive of shy people.
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    Very nice of you to include him btw, most people are so dismissive of shy people.
    It's so easy to follow the "let's ignore him, he's weird, we're cooler" trend. I don't wish anyone this kind of rejection...

    OP = sr90 is right too. For 2 years I thought people hated me, while in fact I discovered later that

    1) they didn't even notice me
    2) or they thought I wanted to be alone

    You should act like you're confident (even if deep inside you'd like to hide haha), look at them, smile, say hello even if you think they don't care. Perhaps some of them do. Even if it is really hard, you have to try to speak to them a little bit, because there's a good chance they won't, now that they think you're probably happy as a loner. And then your confidence will increase and you won't even notice it but you will appear more open to discussions :-)
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    (Original post by Elana18)
    It's so easy to follow the "let's ignore him, he's weird, we're cooler" trend. I don't wish anyone this kind of rejection...

    OP = sr90 is right too. For 2 years I thought people hated me, while in fact I discovered later that

    1) they didn't even notice me
    2) or they thought I wanted to be alone

    You should act like you're confident (even if deep inside you'd like to hide haha), look at them, smile, say hello even if you think they don't care. Perhaps some of them do. Even if it is really hard, you have to try to speak to them a little bit, because there's a good chance they won't, now that they think you're probably happy as a loner. And then your confidence will increase and you won't even notice it but you will appear more open to discussions :-)
    Yeah they will assume you are content on your own, especially if you've been working there for a while. As for confidence, fake it if you have to. Think of a person you know who seems really confident, they are going to feel like **** sometimes just like you do, yet they'll put on a brave face and only let their guard down around close friends or by themselves.
 
 
 
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