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Should i get back together with my ex? Watch

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    When i was in Year 11 i dated a 23 year old on-off for about a year... I didn't think it was true love or anything but I really liked the guy... thing was there was a couple of complications, some I knew about from the beginning and others I found out later on...
    a) He had a kid (didn't bother me even though i'm not a fan of kids, until he started going on about me being like a mum to her)
    b) He was 23... only really a problem because when he met my parents I told them he was 18 'cos I knew they'd freak lol
    c)Not really that much a of a complication but my friends hated him (despite never meeting him - he refused to meet them, don't blame him) they always told me he was a paedophile, sent him texts about what a perv he was etc... not nice - he wasn't like that
    d) He was married. Now this I didn't find out 'til near the end of the relationship... His marriage was as good as over but he was still married to her. This was just really upsetting for me to hear, I'd trusted him when he'd said he was divorced so I just felt really betrayed more than anything

    I broke up with him In about May I think, after we had a big argument in which he claimed I was immature, and I claimed he was a perv for dating someone as young as me (don't actually believe this, just said it to hurt him), and I went on about him lying about being married etc. In the end I basically said I couldn't give him the level of commitment he wanted from me and ended it.

    Anyway, apart from a brief encounter in the 99p store (he worked there) in the summer I hadn't seen him since we broke up... Bumped into him the other week in town and it was just, my god I can't even describe it he just looked so lovely and he was being lovely and I just felt warm all over talking to him. He took me for a coffee and told me he'd got a job in a bank and that his daughter was now spending more time with her Mum (he was the main carer when we were together and she was with him apart from every other weekend) We exchanged numbers again and he's invited me round his house this Wednesday to talk about 'us'.... I said I'll got and in complete honesty I would probably get back together with him - I'm not under any illusions that we'll be together forever, especially as I don't want any kids and he already has one, but he is so lovely, has his own house, his own car, can buy me alcohol... there are just so many advantages to dating him (in comparison to someone my age. I do really, really like him as well, and he's quite mature, but still really funny and up for a laugh. He is one of the only guys I've felt able to be completely honest with. I just have this nagging feeling (probably because I've already told my friends about this and they've *******ed me) that it would be a really big mistake to get back to him, after all he lied about his wife so what else could he be lying about...
    Also I've been half seeing this guy at college, he's really lovely but just seeing my ex again has kind of put into perspective just how attracted I am to him and how much I like him, though my friends all far prefer him as he's closer to my age and doesn't have any kids I could just work on this and try and forget about my ex but I think that would be putting my friends opinions over mine... I spoke with him a bit and he said he understood - it's not a relationship anyway, it's like a pre-relationship i guess...
    So what do you guys think? I can give other details if you want... I'm not saying I'll base what I do on what you guys write I just thought it might give me a new perspective to hear what some unbiased people have to say...
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    tl;dr

    if he's got a 9inch rod then why not huh?
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    im too tired to read the whole post, so imma give you benefit of the dubious situation and say no, dont get back with him.
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    (Original post by No!)
    tl;dr

    if he's got a 9inch rod then why not huh?
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    Personally, I wouldn't be able to trust him after lying about his wife. And I probably wouldn't be able to date someone with a kid too. Also, the reasons you've put for wanting to get with him ("has his own house, his own car, can buy me alcohol") aren't convincing at all and make it seem like you don't really like HIM you just like the idea of dating an older guy maybe. Not sure.
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    Any thread on TSR after 11pm has to have a tl;dr version, otherwise its pretty pointless.
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    You're going to get hurt. Your feelings are precious, you don't realise how precious until they're damaged. If you fall in love with him, and he pulls other kinds of stuff, you're asking to get your heart broken. I don't know if he cheated on you or his wife with you, or met up with his wife...I don't know that, and from the sounds of it neither do you - you admit you don't really know what he might do. A

    s I'm around his age, I do understand what you're friends are saying - I'd never date a 16/17 year old - neither would anyone I know - and the differences in age and maturity would be great. I'm not saying he's using you for sex, maybe as well playing others on the side...but I'm also not not saying that either.
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    Do what you want. It's your life.

    You're the director of your own life. Stop asking the audience what they think should happen and decide for yourself.

    Ultimately, whatever makes you happy.
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    i don't know what tl;dr means
    and i know what would make me happy in the short term but in the long term...
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    If you feel like you could be happy with him then go for it... obviously take what your friends are saying into consideration but if you think theyre being irrational then dont let them stop you! And really be careful about the lying... but other than that, if youre happy with him thats all that matters
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    Nonce, married, going to end up divorced in his early 20s, works in a pound shop (sorry, a 99p shop), has a child, clearly wants some sort of long-term relationship.

    Yeah, sounds like a catch.

    (Original post by Rancorous)
    I'd never date a 16/17 year old
    Seems she was rather younger. She's 16 now, broke up with him in May 2010 after a year. We've gone from 'creepy' to 'phone the police' territory.
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    (Original post by xBillyBrownx)
    Personally, I wouldn't be able to trust him after lying about his wife. And I probably wouldn't be able to date someone with a kid too. Also, the reasons you've put for wanting to get with him ("has his own house, his own car, can buy me alcohol") aren't convincing at all and make it seem like you don't really like HIM you just like the idea of dating an older guy maybe. Not sure.
    Urgh i know what you mean... i kind of meant those were added bonuses (admittedly because of his age) which i wouldn't get otherwise... they're not the primary reasons at all though, just extras.
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    (Original post by L i b)
    Nonce, married, going to end up divorced in his early 20s, works in a pound shop (sorry, a 99p shop), has a child, clearly wants some sort of long-term relationship.

    Yeah, sounds like a catch.
    he works in a bank now.
    And if we did get back together I'd make it clear we'd break up when i went to uni...
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    (Original post by deadsmurfette)
    i don't know what tl;dr means
    and i know what would make me happy in the short term but in the long term...
    tl;dr means too long;didnt read

    its a good idea to space out your essay!
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    No. You are exes for a reason.

    (Original post by No!)
    tl;dr

    if he's got a 9inch rod then why not huh?
    You're not cool. You're a ****.
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    (Original post by ak137)
    tl;dr means too long;didnt read

    its a good idea to space out your essay!
    oh... never mind! Realise now it was probably a bit of a weird thing to post on a forum anyway, especially as i'm unlikely to listen to any advice
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    You're mental. He's clearly a paedo who got bored of his marriage and went looking for some easy girl to get with.
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    (Original post by deadsmurfette)
    oh... never mind! Realise now it was probably a bit of a weird thing to post on a forum anyway, especially as i'm unlikely to listen to any advice
    I'd suggest you ask people in real life for help instead of asking for advice from a bunch of inbred basement-dwellers on TSR.
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    (Original post by GBateman)
    I'd suggest you ask people in real life for help instead of asking for advice from a bunch of inbred basement-dwellers on TSR.
    You're probably right. Problem is most of the real life advice conflicts with what I want, think maybe i was hoping it would be a different story here... I am too eager to please!
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    (Original post by L i b)
    Nonce, married, going to end up divorced in his early 20s, works in a pound shop (sorry, a 99p shop), has a child, clearly wants some sort of long-term relationship.

    Yeah, sounds like a catch.



    Seems she was rather younger. She's 16 now, broke up with him in May 2010 after a year. We've gone from 'creepy' to 'phone the police' territory.
    my thoughts exactly!
 
 
 
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