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Wierdest thing you've witnessed in a night club/pub watch

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    A rah giving a chav a blow job in the toilets
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    Plenty of people ****ing in various areas/positions/gender combinations. The most amusing club aspect I've seen was a 20ft high close up mural of a woman spreading her legs.
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    People seem to defecate in various ways an alarming amount in nightclubs :erm:
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    (Original post by flowerness)
    This is hilarious albeit a little bit weird! So glad I'm not living/at uni in Manchester
    Hey, I'd appreciate it if you didn't base your judgement of Manchester and its inhabitants as a whole off one scrag defecating on the dance floor.
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    In a memebers rugby club, a striper performed - shortly after this she was gangbanged across the pool table.
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    My mate got stabbed in a club I'n London.
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    Hey, I'd appreciate it if you didn't base your judgement of Manchester and its inhabitants as a whole off one scrag defecating on the dance floor.
    Hah, I know it's not like the really, I was joking! I've been to Manchester many times!
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    Saw a girl fingering herself.
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    I saw a guy get thrown out of a club after he had allowed a woman take the Browns to the Superbowl on his chest then wrapped himself in clingfilm.

    Yes he stunk.

    No it wasn't a vanilla nightclub.
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    People always seem to want to have very noisy sex by me whenever I am sitting down :lolwut:. Not going to lie - bit weird.
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    I making this face as a read this thread :lolwut:. What the hell is wrong with people?!?!?!
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    (Original post by flowerness)
    Hah, I know it's not like the really, I was joking! I've been to Manchester many times!
    Oh, okay. S'all cool. :cool:
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    (Original post by Lexi99)
    I making this face as a read this thread :lolwut:. What the hell is wrong with people?!?!?!
    My thoughts exactly, I know people do crazy things when wasted but ****ting on the floor and wiping your arse against a wall... really? Do people lack such dignity in themselves these days?
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    In a club in Birmingham a girl was dancing on a mini podium... she only had a shirt on (which was open), and high heels, the shirt was open, it was all very odd.

    I saw her later when the club closed, still in the same state of undress, posing for photos by a kebab van. This was in a metal/alt club, not a strip club hehe
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    i saw a girl and a guy having sex on a sink. the bouncers ran in rugby tackled the guy to the floor, he still had a hard on. it was hilarious. safe to say they are both banned from there now
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    Someone defecated onto their hand then threw it at the DJ.
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    (Original post by Iorek)
    Was in a club in Manchester, this girl lifted her skirt and took a dump at the corner of the dance floor. She then started rubbing her bum against the wall.
    No way....:bootyshake:



    (Original post by Vampress)
    Saw a load of guys in a line doing the Macarena once :erm:
    That's the most awesome thing I've done in a club lol
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    My two favourite nightclub related stories happened to me when I worked as Head Doorman at Walkabout in Birmingham:-

    While working at the Australian theme bar on broad Street I had the pleasure to work with K. A nice enough chap who was always game for a laugh but was as thick as a whale omelette and like women who weighed about twice as much as Lisa Riley.

    On one particular night at closing time he forgoes the usual staff pint and buggers off, we assume he has headed home early as he has work early the next morning.

    My colleagues and I leave the pub about an hour later having unwound from a night of student excess and dodging hen parties. As we get to the car park we bump into K.

    "Guys gimme a hand with the car will you" he asks.

    "Yeah sure says us" thinking he needed a jump start. How wrong we were.

    As previously mentioned K liked the larger lasses and this week unbeknownst to us he had excelled himself. We got to the car to be greeted by quite a shocking sight.

    K had pulled a rather large lady and she had met him by his car so they could engage in a little push and pull. However she was so large she had become stuck between the front two seats so we al had to grab a limb and pull till she popped free.

    The exact sight of this has been burned to my memory. Seeing a 25st woman with a fanny like a hippos yawn stuck between the front seats of a Datsun Cherry will stay with me forever.

    So will the look on the fireman's face when we couldn't free her and they had to remove one of the front seats.


    Number 2:

    One night in previous while stood outside a particularly crap nightclub in Brierly Hill (Eclipse?!?!) having removed a couple of the local chavs/*****/scum/****** for chemically enhancing their evening a discussion ensues outside which leaves one of them with a rather impressive black eye.

    As his particularly gobby mate does the spreading the arms and walking away shouting come on then/I'll ****ing do you/I'm gonna ****in' shoot you** dance. He continues to walk backwards into the road. Where he is promptly side swiped by the 139E Merry Hill Shopping Centre to Birmingham express.

    Ho and if you will Hum.

    * Delete as you see fit.

    ** See above ^^

    Length?

    139E. About 25ft I think.

    Him. About four feet back onto the pavement.


    Number 3:

    As a former nightclub doorman i have ssen many things that could make you blush and quite a few that could mmake you hurl. This story is one of the latter and I apologise in advance

    Come closing time at a very famous Australian chain bar in Birmingham, I was clearing the toilets af the straggling customers. In the ladies after everyone departed I realised that one of the cubicles was locked. So I perched myself on the adjoining toilet to enable me to see over the partition. Upon looking into the cubicel I find the following. A young lady in her early twenties asleep on the loo. Knickers round her ankles, she has also been sick, however the vomit is nicly perched in her underwear. My colleague and i decided to wake her up without knocking the door down so as to avoid startling her. So we went and got a pint of water which was mpassed to me to tip over the cubicle wall. So I clamber back onto the toilet and proceed to tip the water over the poor girl. At which point she comes too.

    "Sorry hun were closed" says I

    "Ok no probs" says lady.

    Then the unthinkable without checking she yanks the vomit filled undies up takes two steps out of the cubicle, realises what is going on bursts into tears and runs out the front door. My colleague and I are laughing so hard that I fall off the toilet that im standing on into him breaking his wrist.

    hehehehehehehe

    She came back the next week.
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    Seen people having "discreet" sex in a club before lmao Hate being the observant type of person.

    Went on holiday to Benidorm. I saw a lot of people having a bit fore play on the dance floor!! Some not so discreetly as they may have thought haha
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    PS Helper
    Correct spelling.
 
 
 
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