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Wierdest thing you've witnessed in a night club/pub watch

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    (Original post by unicornsoncrack)
    the local toilet attendant at yates in the guys toilet has awesome rhymes for everyone who visits...don't ask why i know this....(it's also funier cos he's jamaican) some of my personal favourites are:
    (trying to get you to put on the aftershave) "no armani, no poonani"
    "no spray, no lay"
    LOL!
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    (Original post by unicornsoncrack)
    the local toilet attendant at yates in the guys toilet has awesome rhymes for everyone who visits...don't ask why i know this....(it's also funier cos he's jamaican) some of my personal favourites are:
    (trying to get you to put on the aftershave) "no armani, no poonani"
    "no spray, no lay"
    Is that in Reading? I went up there to visit a mate and we went to Yates and the Jamaican attendant dude was coming out with those, but my favourite was: "No splash, no gash." :rofl:
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    On Saturday night, a random man comes up to our table and starts dancing. He seen begins to take his shirt off, then his trousers, and finally his boxers are dropped down as well. He then launches himself at my friend, who was sitting down. Luckily we shoved him off!! He was then roughly escorted out by the bouncer.

    I hope for his sake that he was a grower....
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    This is the best thread in a long time!
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    i saw a guy dressed up as a whoppee cushion :') xoxoxoxoxo
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    I saw a gril try to breakdance in the middle of the main dance floor. People had moved away from her and made a circle around her. The thing was she was absolutely ****! But she was taking it really seriously, it wasn't a joke. There were people booing and pointing and laughing, ahhh it's making me cringe just thinking about it lol!
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    (Original post by crazyjoyce)
    i have the pleasure of working in many clubs and i've seen some truely awful things in my time. these two are probably the worst... guy and a girl on the edge ish of the dancefloor, still quite packed but not like sardines..., girls going down on the guy for a while, he signals he's nearing the point of no return, she pulls it out and aims it away from her... straight onto the wallet pocket of an innocent guy oblivious to whats going on... next thing you see is the guy doing a wallet check and getting sticky stuff all over him, he then sniffs it, realises what it is and proceeds to wipe it on the shirt of the guy who it came out of who is now zipped up and dancing away. me and my workmates loled quite considerably.

    second... r&b/grime room which gets pretty herbal/sweaty, pretty horrible if you're not into that sort of thing... so im walking up to the DJ booth along the perimeter where the subs are and see some girl with alot of junk in her trunk grinding her arse against a massive black dude against these massive subs... try and get passed him and catch his shoulder, knocks his balance slightly, takes a step back and it flops out of this girls arse/pink (who knows) so he's swaying about, hard on out trying to get it back in. i wish i could un see that one!
    Ah i wish i had rep left for this :lol: this thread is so good
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    Mine has to be white boys dancing, thats the funniest and weirdest thing ive witnessed. :yes:
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    I saw my mates legs slowly dissolve into the floor once, that was pretty wierd, but then again I was on ket, does that count?
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    Saw a girl suck a guy off in the middle of the dancefloor, before long they were at it doggy style up against the far wall.. some people have no shame!

    In other news.. a Welsh mate of mine (say no more) would get really ****ed off by people bumping into him (big guy).. this one lad had his elbows jutting out the way he was dancing and kept ribbing this mate of mine.. so me mate whipped his **** out and discretely pee'd down the back of the guys jeans.. again, no shame! Kinda funny tho, esp as the guy didn't seem to notice!?

    Once got hit on by a gorgeous girl only, she was totally deaf (from standing too near some super-large speakers at a gig or somet). Course it would've been rude (and counter-instinctive) not to have pulled her but I felt kind of weird about the whole thing, especially communicating with her/talking about her via/with her friend who could sign

    (Original post by Dynasty)
    no splash, no gash
    no plunge, no clunge

    (Original post by Marshyy)
    Probably my mate throwing his iphone off the balcony overlooking the dancefloor. Think he was trying to hit someone dancing but it flew behind the bar, smashed a pyramid of bud bottles and the DJ stopped the music whilst he was being chucked out
    Your mate sounds an even bigger douchebag than mine :rolleyes:

    (Original post by Tsukuyomi)
    Mine has to be white boys dancing, thats the funniest and weirdest thing ive witnessed. :yes:
    Guilty as charged :cool:
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    I myself personally kneed an actual midget in the head and sent her sprawling to the floor by complete accident - she was in a big line in a packed club I seen a gap between her two friends and went through. However she was in the middle, but due to her size I completely missed her. Cue a knee straight to the side of her shoulder/head sending her straight down - I thought at this point I'd just knocked a girl midget out. Luckily enough I hadn't and she got back up pretty much fine, I said sorry and we both parted ways - pretty ****ing hilarious after/looking bacjthough. Oh and did I say that she was dressed up as an Umpa Lumpa, complete madness in fact this doesn't even sound believable but trust me it happened.

    We were all on a small stage dancing and my mate tapped this girls arse that was right at the front of the stage. She turned round smiled at him and whilst attempting to walk to him unbelievably drunk, took two steps forward - away from the stage - before falling bottle in hand straight off the side of the stage and into a gap between the stage and a wall. It looked absolutely horrid and she didn't get up for quite a while - she was fine though, probably pretty sore in the morning though.
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    (Original post by TheArabian)
    Yesterday I was reading this thread about a girl who got drunk and flashed her "privates" in a pub very amusing indeed.

    I've been to nightclubs a couple of times but I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary, although I'd love to!

    I was wondering what is the weirdest things you've seen/heard of in a nightclub or pub.
    We had a bloke flash us in a pub once, it wasn't nice.
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    there has been many weird moments to be honest, not just pub and clubs but the aftermath on the streets too! I'll let you in on one weird thing - not the weirdest but mediocre my friend threw up in a bucket during a house party and the dog started to eat it and he had to run away with the bucket as the dog chased us!
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    (Original post by Jmzie-Coupe)
    Saw a guy pissing into a empty pint glass.
    Sure it wasn't Bear Grylls?

    http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.c...party-time.jpg
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    A friend of mine fell asleep with his head in the bass bin when Above and Beyond were playing. Absolutely living the dream. Seen loads of people having sex, getting blowjobs, slipping the finger, that's normal isn't it? I've had my **** sucked on the dance floor too and didn't get any funny looks or anything. What clubs do you all go to? Bingo?

    The worse thing I see in clubs in people being sick in pint glasses. I worked in a club for a short while and they do not get cleaned properly. Always buy bottles kids.
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    (Original post by Spikeooa)
    A friend of mine fell asleep with his head in the bass bin when Above and Beyond were playing. Absolutely living the dream. Seen loads of people having sex, getting blowjobs, slipping the finger, that's normal isn't it? I've had my **** sucked on the dance floor too and didn't get any funny looks or anything. What clubs do you all go to? Bingo?

    The worse thing I see in clubs in people being sick in pint glasses. I worked in a club for a short while and they do not get cleaned properly. Always buy bottles kids.
    More amusing is to see someone throw up in a wine glass at a very posh dinner and it flow very neatly over the sides onto the table cloth much to the dismay of the waiter. But that's another story for a different thread!
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    (Original post by Charlesworth)
    Sure it wasn't Bear Grylls?

    http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.c...party-time.jpg
    Doesn't look familiar. Though they both share one common factor - ugliness.
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    Nothing that wierd but a mate of mine shagged some girl up against a fire escape in full view of the dance floor with his keks round his ankles and nobody even batted an eyelid.
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    (Original post by unicornsoncrack)
    the local toilet attendant at yates in the guys toilet has awesome rhymes for everyone who visits...don't ask why i know this....(it's also funier cos he's jamaican) some of my personal favourites are:
    (trying to get you to put on the aftershave) "no armani, no poonani"
    "no spray, no lay"
    Is this in brighton ? he works at oxygen?

    "No splash, no gash.
    No money, no hunny.

    Gotta freshen up for the poonani!"

    Hes amazing
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    Sex.
 
 
 
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