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Your views on marriage and weddings?! watch

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    (Original post by Smophy)
    Oh a reason I would also like to get married is so that me, my partner and our future children all have the same surname. Idk but this means a lot to me in a way.
    Funnily enough I'm not taking my partner's surname.
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    (Original post by Sprockette)
    My thoughts exactly
    There are only two types of people who benefit from people having marriages: the government, and lawyers.
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    How long till you get engaged...has to be a few years surely, not like that stupid Skins storyline where they get married after a few months...

    Engagement should last as long as it takes to get the money for the wedding/where it's held okay.

    I wouldn't mind getting married at some point...bit difficult atm being single.

    I wouldn't really mind...

    No churches as I'm an atheist
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    I knew my husband from the April ( 1994) and he asked me to marry him in the October of the same year.We are'nt religious so our wedding was held in a registry office in June 1996.So our engagment was just under 2 years long during which time we lived together.We will be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this year
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    (Original post by Muffinz)
    There are only two types of people who benefit from people having marriages: the government, and lawyers.
    You forgot about parents, they get to be smug/show off to the neighbours
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Funnily enough I'm not taking my partner's surname.
    Fair enough, I know lots of people who don't. Some because their partner have a rather embarrassing second name , some because they just don't want to change theirs or some for business reasons etc

    We have actually talked about him taking my name. I would like this because, I know it is just a name, but I don't want the same name as his brother or his father tbh and also It would mean I don't have to change anything haha. We decided against this though on the basis that me taking his name actually sounds better than if he took mine.
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    (Original post by Smophy)
    I myself am an atheist.
    I think you should be together for a fair few years before getting engaged.
    I don't like the idea of a long engagement, people seem to get engaged before they have real plan to get married, this is not for me. I think a year is longest I would want to be engaged for.
    I do want to get married but I don't want a wedding. Would rather spend the money on a very long luxurious honeymoon. After all getting married is about you and your partner, not about entertaining family and friends.
    If I was to have a wedding, a small one, I wouldn't have it in a church. It would feel hypocritical of me as an atheist to do so. Stately home would be just as nice.
    marriage is a religious concept I thought you were an atheist?
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    (Original post by Sprockette)
    You forgot about parents, they get to be smug/show off to the neighbours
    Not really, as the government has an excuse to pay them less benefits, give them less pension money when they retire, and the lawyers can suck fees out of them if they divorce...
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    (Original post by clara78)
    marriage is a religious concept I thought you were an atheist?
    Marriage is not a religious concept, it existed before Christianity and most major religions. Your point is fallacious and misleading.
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    (Original post by Smophy)
    This thread is just for curiosities sake.

    How long to you think is ideal to be with someone before getting engaged? (I mean, how long would YOU want to be with someone before engagement, I know it is different for different people)
    How long do you think an engagement should last? (again, how long would YOU want to be engaged)
    Do you want to get married?
    If yes then do you want a wedding? or just sign the register?
    Would you want to be married in a church?

    Would be interesting if you say what religion you follow, especially keen to hear from atheists.

    I myself am an atheist.
    I think you should be together for a fair few years before getting engaged.
    I don't like the idea of a long engagement, people seem to get engaged before they have real plan to get married, this is not for me. I think a year is longest I would want to be engaged for.
    I do want to get married but I don't want a wedding. Would rather spend the money on a very long luxurious honeymoon. After all getting married is about you and your partner, not about entertaining family and friends.
    If I was to have a wedding, a small one, I wouldn't have it in a church. It would feel hypocritical of me as an atheist to do so. Stately home would be just as nice.
    I know it's four pages on but I'd still like to answer

    I'm agnostic. I'd like to be together for 3-5 years before engagement, and then I'd like to be engaged for about a year years before marriage. I think that way you can be sure that you're really meant to be together. People can last years together without really being suited and I think if you've been together a long time before hand then realistically there should be more chance of the relationship lasting.
    I would like to get married, preferably when I'm 24/26 ish which means that I'd have to find a guy when I'm 19, hmm!). I would love a wedding in a church, just because it seems perfect. Although all the singing might annoy me, if I couldn't find a nice church then I'd happily get married in a Castle/hotel/reception/stately home/wherever. I think it would have to be a big wedding just so it could accomidate all my family from my mum and dads side (and his family too). If I'm engaged then I'd want to be engaged to be married, not just engaged.

    I'd want my honeymoon in Las Vegas but I would prefer to spend money on the wedding than the honeymoon.
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    (Original post by clara78)
    marriage is a religious concept I thought you were an atheist?
    It is not a religious concept. Rather it has been adopted by various religions. Marriage is also a legal contract. Religion is not the only reason for marriage. Reasons could be legal, social, emotional, economical etc
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    I like the idea of being proposed to.
    I like the idea of being engaged and planning a wedding.
    I like the idea of having a wedding and a honeymoon.
    But I don't like the idea of being a wife.
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    I'd need to have been cohabiting with the person for two years before I could comfortably say yes to a proposal (choosing the ring post-proposal, hopefully and in private so I don't feel all pressured to say yes). Then I'd want to be engaged for at least a year or two before we even started thinking about wedding plans. I'd much rather get cold feet than rush into a marriage which would go on to end on bad terms.
    I would want a really small wedding, just close friends and family, not loads of random relatives on both sides. I'm an atheist so no church malarky, a nice civil ceremony in a hotel in London would be fine. I'd want a white gown though, but nothing too wide ore blingy or flouncy, eurgh. Weddings generally make me cringe a bit, so I'd want the minimal amount of fuss. And I'd rather use the money towards getting on the property ladder, a decent honeymoon etc.
    I'd like to get engaged around 27, then married around 30 hopefully.

    I wouldn't mind having a bigger wedding if it was what my partner wanted or if it was the norm in his cultural background, but I wouldn't shift on the other stuff really. Don't think I'd be down with changing my surname either, unless he would incorporate my name into his as well. Unless he had a surname which sounded really nice with my first name

    Wow, I sound dead heartless and unsentimental.

    As shallow as it sounds I'd only really be getting married because society seems to think that if a woman isn't married by 35 (and even that seems to be pushing it) she's some failure spinster, and I don't think I could deal with constant comments from my family and so on. I'd be happy to cohabit for life but then if you do break up it's much more ambiguous in terms of stuff like finances, custody of kids etc., although I could be wrong?
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    (Original post by Jesseecar123)
    I like the idea of being proposed to.
    I like the idea of being engaged and planning a wedding.
    I like the idea of having a wedding and a honeymoon.
    But I don't like the idea of being a wife.
    I think that's the problem with a lot of girls today (me included until recently). A lot of us are more fixated on the idea of a romantic proposal and a dream wedding with the perfect location, dress etc. from a very young age that we don't really think about what comes next. It's then constantly reinforced through the fantasy weddings you see in films and on TV etc., it can't be healthy.
    Of course I'm generalising, lots of girls aren't like this and lots of guys are probably like this too. But I think it's definitely an issue considering the price of weddings and divorce rates etc.
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    [QUOTE=Smophy;30802588]This thread is just for curiosities sake.

    How long to you think is ideal to be with someone before getting engaged? (I mean, how long would YOU want to be with someone before engagement, I know it is different for different people)
    How long do you think an engagement should last? (again, how long would YOU want to be engaged)
    Do you want to get married?
    If yes then do you want a wedding? or just sign the register?
    Would you want to be married in a church?


    1- A couple of years, 1 or 2 for ME

    2- Depends on financial situation, maybe a year, tops

    3- yes

    4- wedding

    5- Depends on the person I meet, if he is a Christian, then I guess we'd have to have both weddings

    I am a Hindu.
 
 
 
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