I feel so inadequate

Hmm, i kind of get what you mean. i feel that sometimes, but it doesnt normally concern guys.
Nearly everyone has some stretch marks, the models you see in magazines have been airbrushed, nobody is perfect.
Loads of people have a couple of acne scars or chickenpox scars, its honestly nothing to worry about.
Oh, and my feet are totally ming, so yours cant be worse than mine! feet are just generally gross.
if this guy lets little things, like a few barely noticeable marks on your body affect how he feels about you, then he is just not worth your time. and you probably see yourself as worse than you actually are. what people see when they look at you is probably gorgeous, whereas when you look in the mirror, you are prob a lot more critical. i know i am, i can spend so long worrying over a tiny little thing, and when i ask someone about it (like my mum, who always tells me the truth) she says she doesnt know what im on about.
You can get clear braces as well, so they wont be so noticeable.

Reply 3

nuttymimi

totally go through the same thing!! Im completely not confident in the way I look and it really impacts on the way I am around guys. Im 17 and still haven't had a boyfriend. I think half my problem is also that I went to a girls school up until start of 6th form, so am not particularly confident around boys fullstop.

Not exactly advice to help you! - might be nice to know others feel the same way tho....

Reply 4

OP

Ariel4

Hmm, i kind of get what you mean. i feel that sometimes, but it doesnt normally concern guys.
Nearly everyone has some stretch marks, the models you see in magazines have been airbrushed, nobody is perfect.
Loads of people have a couple of acne scars or chickenpox scars, its honestly nothing to worry about.
Oh, and my feet are totally ming, so yours cant be worse than mine! feet are just generally gross.
if this guy lets little things, like a few barely noticeable marks on your body affect how he feels about you, then he is just not worth your time. and you probably see yourself as worse than you actually are. what people see when they look at you is probably gorgeous, whereas when you look in the mirror, you are prob a lot more critical. i know i am, i can spend so long worrying over a tiny little thing, and when i ask someone about it (like my mum, who always tells me the truth) she says she doesnt know what im on about.
You can get clear braces as well, so they wont be so noticeable.

Yeah, I think I am gonna get clear braces, gonna cost £300 more but what the heck, I'd rather not hate myself even more for another year. The thing is I think my marks, especially those on my feet are quite abnormal...Anyway, I just feel really worthless at the moment, like I'm pretending to be something I'm not, ir in the way I dress, the way I am and who I hang around with. But I know that I couldnt wear any less make-up and wear different clothes, because thats just never been me?..if that makes sense. Its like adolescence, and the problems that go along with it are only hitting me now, at 18, and I'm the black sheep of the whole lot who've already gone through and come out shinin now, leaving me pretty dim.

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nuttymimi

totally go through the same thing!! Im completely not confident in the way I look and it really impacts on the way I am around guys. Im 17 and still haven't had a boyfriend. I think half my problem is also that I went to a girls school up until start of 6th form, so am not particularly confident around boys fullstop.

Not exactly advice to help you! - might be nice to know others feel the same way tho....

Maybe thats part of my problem too, I also went to an all girls secondary school. It is nice to know others feel the same way( althou the fact that we're both goin throu something not so terribly great isnt) I guess just the sense that perhaps others go through it makes me feel a little less like a freakazoid?.I dont know..

Reply 5

Steph!

13

You will always notice things about yourself that others won't. You know your body the best of anyone. Don't let them affect your confidence.

Also, I agree with Ariel ,if he is bothered by any of those small points (and believe me they are small by the sound of it) then he is not worth your time or emotions fullstop.

Reply 6

Ariel4

Nina166

Yeah, I think I am gonna get clear braces, gonna cost £300 more but what the heck, I'd rather not hate myself even more for another year. The thing is I think my marks, especially those on my feet are quite abnormal...Anyway, I just feel really worthless at the moment, like I'm pretending to be something I'm not, ir in the way I dress, the way I am and who I hang around with. But I know that I couldnt wear any less make-up and wear different clothes, because thats just never been me?..if that makes sense. Its like adolescence, and the problems that go along with it are only hitting me now, at 18, and I'm the black sheep of the whole lot who've already gone through and come out shinin now, leaving me pretty dim.

Nina166

If you are feeling that bad about yourself (you said you hate yourself) i suggest going to see a doctor. im sure your marks arent abnormal, youre prob just being paranoid. i find that when i find something i dislike about myself, i cannot stop thinking about it and examining it in the mirror, there are a few things i will be having fixed when i can afford it! i know what you mean about make up and the way you dress etc, im like that, ive always worn make up and made an effort with my clothes. you are not the only one who feels like this, i think a lot of people do, but dont say anything, so youre not the black sheep of everyone at all. and if this gorg guy is showing an interest, then you must be pretty special! you never know, he could be feeling just the same.

Reply 7

xemilyx

first off your not superficial, if it botheres you its is there for a problem. unfortunatly your going to meet superficial people where ever you are, but you would think that when your in uni people mature a little more. (or at least im hoping they do lol)
you say you think that if you allowed yourself you could get into a realtionship with this guy, am i right in thinking that your very friendly? if so you've already gotten over the first hurdle he obviously likes you :smile:

so you must be doing something right. secondly not everyone is perfect, if everyone was perfect there would be no room for improvement and people usually fall in love because of imperfications. i havent seen you so i cant comment on your looks but im sure your far prettier than you give yourself credit for. never ever ever! think your not good enough for someone over looks, because that is certainly not true! everyone is beautiful in there own way.
if you did enter a realtionship with anyone not just this guy then they are going to love you for you. dont worry about your marks on your face etc. at least you like to make the effort and dress up and the majority of girls have stetch marks and to be honest if superficial stuff like that gets to the guy hes not worth getting with in my view. i think im talking waffle now but basically no one is perfect, we are all flawed but it is because of these flaws we are loved. dont worry hun im sure your beautiful, and if its getting you down that much go and see your GP :smile:

Reply 8

Little Girl Red

In my experience, when you look at yourself, you see all of the flaws and problems that you know you have. You know you have them because 1) you can feel them 2) they have been there for years and years, you know exactly where they are, what that area looked like before etc etc and 3) you look at yourself much more closely than other people.
However, boys just don't see this. Okay, so you have crooked teeth compared to what they were like 2 years ago - this guys doesnt know what your teeth looked like two years ago. To him, they are perfectly fine teeth. Boys don't even notice stretch marks half the time, they don't even really know what they are. You would have to point it out. And as for spots - they are usually to busy being worried that you are noticing theirs/or their other flaws.
Don't worry about it too much, I mean if a really fit guy is fancying you in the first place then you must be pretty gorgeous!! Just be confident in your personality and go places as friends for a bit first, so that you can get comfortable before you start getting "closer" - both physically and emotionally!!

Reply 9

OP

xemilyx

first off your not superficial, if it botheres you its is there for a problem. unfortunatly your going to meet superficial people where ever you are, but you would think that when your in uni people mature a little more. (or at least im hoping they do lol)
you say you think that if you allowed yourself you could get into a realtionship with this guy, am i right in thinking that your very friendly? if so you've already gotten over the first hurdle he obviously likes you :smile:

so you must be doing something right. secondly not everyone is perfect, if everyone was perfect there would be no room for improvement and people usually fall in love because of imperfications. i havent seen you so i cant comment on your looks but im sure your far prettier than you give yourself credit for. never ever ever! think your not good enough for someone over looks, because that is certainly not true! everyone is beautiful in there own way.
if you did enter a realtionship with anyone not just this guy then they are going to love you for you. dont worry about your marks on your face etc. at least you like to make the effort and dress up and the majority of girls have stetch marks and to be honest if superficial stuff like that gets to the guy hes not worth getting with in my view. i think im talking waffle now but basically no one is perfect, we are all flawed but it is because of these flaws we are loved. dont worry hun im sure your beautiful, and if its getting you down that much go and see your GP :smile:

No, you are far from waffling hon, in fact that what u said made me feel kinda better. I guess I may be exagerrating my problems, and maybe its just that fear od getting close to someone, and findin thaat they want more from me than I can give, hence the inadequacy. Its just that I feel like whnever I look at other people, they dont seem to have half the same amount of problems looks wise as me, and I'm not talking about just facial I mean also on the body. It gets worse in summer because everyone is weirng revealing clothes and my marks stop me from being able to do this too. I guess its time to just accept myself for who I am, so much easier said tha done!!

Reply 10

xemilyx

Nina166

No, you are far from waffling hon, in fact that what u said made me feel kinda better. I guess I may be exagerrating my problems, and maybe its just that fear od getting close to someone, and findin thaat they want more from me than I can give, hence the inadequacy. Its just that I feel like whnever I look at other people, they dont seem to have half the same amount of problems looks wise as me, and I'm not talking about just facial I mean also on the body. It gets worse in summer because everyone is weirng revealing clothes and my marks stop me from being able to do this too. I guess its time to just accept myself for who I am, so much easier said tha done!![/QUOTE]

your right it is easier said than done, but you will do it. i mean i hate myself no exageration i really hate everything about me but i got into such a thing of self loathing it made matters worse, but at the end of the day if people judge me on looks and looks alone they are missing out lol. write up a list of all the negative you feel about yourself and the positives, to begin with there will probably be more negative than positive but the more you do it the more the positive list will grow and then bobs your uncle your feeling better :smile:

sorry to ask but are the marks from weight loss? if no vitamin e cream helps reduce marks and they will fade in time :smile:

Reply 11

OP

[QUOTE="xemilyx"]

Nina166

No, you are far from waffling hon, in fact that what u said made me feel kinda better. I guess I may be exagerrating my problems, and maybe its just that fear od getting close to someone, and findin thaat they want more from me than I can give, hence the inadequacy. Its just that I feel like whnever I look at other people, they dont seem to have half the same amount of problems looks wise as me, and I'm not talking about just facial I mean also on the body. It gets worse in summer because everyone is weirng revealing clothes and my marks stop me from being able to do this too. I guess its time to just accept myself for who I am, so much easier said tha done!![/QUOTE]

your right it is easier said than done, but you will do it. i mean i hate myself no exageration i really hate everything about me but i got into such a thing of self loathing it made matters worse, but at the end of the day if people judge me on looks and looks alone they are missing out lol. write up a list of all the negative you feel about yourself and the positives, to begin with there will probably be more negative than positive but the more you do it the more the positive list will grow and then bobs your uncle your feeling better :smile:

sorry to ask but are the marks from weight loss? if no vitamin e cream helps reduce marks and they will fade in time :smile:

I feel for you hon, and I know where you're comin from. I hope we gain acceptance of who we are soon enough. And of course its alright to ask. Well, I have a fluctuating weight, but the time I got the most stretch marks was when I moved from a 10 to 12, and then I went back to an 8, now I'm around 8-10. But the marks have just hit me more than others I guess, because I know a load of people who go through same changes, yet manage not to get any! Tbh my real insecurities lie with the marks that I have got from my acne on my back just above my bottocks(so you can see them when I'm getting up or something, as my jeans always happen to go down(!)) and the pigmentation that was caused by my excema on my hands, meaning some fingers are darker than others! I'm black so, instead of going red, these areas just go darker. ps I have tried everything under the sun, but nothin really helps. My last resort is now TRILASTIN, its so expensive but its supposed to work so it better!

whats TRILASTIN?

Think about it, if this guy had a few spots or stretch marks would you care, i think not. So hes going to think the same way about u

Reply 14

OP

xemilyx

whats TRILASTIN?

Its this advanced stretch mark removal cream that many people are promoting. Its supposed to be really good, so I thougt it wouldnt hurt to give it a try.

Reply 15

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