The Student Room Group

Not Getting Better . . .

Its been 3 months since I split up with my long term g/f. Weve kept in contact and from time to time got close. We realised we cannot be togetha (her decission) and ive accepted it but have not let her go as a close person to me.

The Last week in 3 months I must of had the best week. I was able to concentrate on other things and relax.
On friday my mother was taken to hospital and naturally/instinctively the first person I called to talk to was my X.
Throughout our relationship I was there helping her deal with her depressional problems through in and through out the whole relationship. She was the only girl that actually made me speak about my problems and opened me up just to her.

I tried to speak to her on friday night but I couldnt speak to her and ended up bringing up the past about our relationship and how she made a decission based on selfishness and not considering my feelings or emotions.

Anyhow, it was a mistake for me to bring it up. I was just really emotional and I wanted her to be caring if anything but she hardly was.

Saturday/Sunday I tried to speak to her but she was too busy studying, working and then watching movies.

Monday Morning my uncle passed away who I was really close with, I texted all my close mates inc my x to let them know.
All my friends replied back or phoned, yet my x didnt bother.
I felt so hurt that not even a text.

That evening she came online and the first thing she said to me was 'am I getting married?', I said no of course not and that I wanted to talk to u seriously so ill call u.

When I called her I told her I was upset and pissed off that u didnt bother with me one bit when every 1 else was. She said that I asked you once or twice and didnt want to force you to tell me so I left it to you.
I asked about the marriage thing and she said she had a dream about me marrying her best friend.:s
Anyway I ended up telling her about my mum and my uncle in more detail and the only words that came from her mouth was 'Im sorry to hear about you loss'.
After my explination she didnt speak, so I asked her 'are you tired?' She said yeh, so I said I' better let you go then.'
She said Bye.

I spent 9 months in a relationship and 1 year as friend with this person, caring for her, putting myself first for her and making life easier for her.

Yeah I shouldnt expect anything back, but how cold can a person be?
It just makes me think if somthing is up or wrong with her, but I really dont know what to think or say to this person. Which confuses me allot.
Hmm. I think it sounds like she's being very cold, but maybe she just doesn't want to give you the wrong idea, like she's worried that if she's too friendly you'll get the idea that she wants you back.
Also, maybe she thinks that all your other friends will support you. I dnno, I think she's being really harsh, just trying to see things from her point of view.
Reply 2
Let's put things into perspective. I just broke up (last week) from my girlfriend of 4 years. The way you're behaving towards her is inappropriate seen as you two broke up, and it just sounds like your hoping that when you call or speak to her online, things will be like they were when you were together but you're kidding yourself. The fact of the matter is you've been apart for 3 months and you shouldn't be so dependent on her to console you or talk to you - to her you come accross as needy and it's probably annoying her.

I love my now ex-girlfriend very much and I would do anything to get her back, but if she doesn't want me or doesn't share the same attraction, then I just have to accept that and move on. I like to see it that my last gift to her is to let her go and be happy. It isn't easy and I'm a wreck at the moment but I can't say that I'd want to be phoning her up all the time or talking to her cause it would be too painful for me, and may be we'll get back together someday, who knows.

What I'm saying is this - what you're doing isn't working and is getting on your ex-girlfriend's nerves. Stop. Break off all contact for a good few weeks and allow yourself to get over her. May be she is being mean to you, but I don't sympathise.

My girlfriend was my life for 4 years and now I have to try and salvage some kind of new life, and I'm scared. I can't imagine life without her, and I can't imagine ever being with someone as beautiful as her but sometimes things just aren't meant to be.