One night Stands.... your views....

I am a first year student at uni and I wanted to know what people views were on one night stands? Before I started uni, I was quite clear in my opinions in what I felt was wrong and right, and now since Ive started uni, everything different, Im confused about whats right and worng anymore and I feel as though I have lost myself a little, as i always thought I knoew myself. But I guess Uni is about finding yourself aswell...

well just wondered, are one night stands wrong or right in your opinion? Starting uni, it seems as though everyone has or has had a one night stand/(s) my friend admitted to few one night stands, and she lost her virginity during a one night stand,which she now regrets, although she did want a relationship with the guy.... she's now madly inlove with her longterm BF which is really sweet...

If you asked me a few years ago i would have said one night stands are wrong... now im not so sure.... i like the idea of having freedom, to do as you please with whom you please, and I think if ur happy then it's acceptable... I dunno not so sure??? ..... anyone.......

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Each to their own.

Why wouldn't it be acceptable? We have an outdated sense of morality that's based on the common sense of days gone by. One night stands a hundred years ago meant lots and lots of babies. These days, they mean nothing but healthy fun if done responsibly.

There's nothing morally wrong with enjoying sex, as long as both people are physically and emotionally responsible.

Reply 3

Schmokie Dragon

I fail to see what is wrong with a one-night-stand. Irresponsible? Maybe. Stupid? Maybe. Wrong? No.

Why did you think it was wrong?

Play safe, use protection, don't put yourself at too much risk. Have fun.

Reply 4

BethanArianwen

I personally think they're a load of crap.

But if you do decide to go for it, be careful, and im not talking just protection, i mean be careful of who you do it with.

Reply 5

BrummieBoy93

My views on a one night stand?

Usually the back of a girls head.

Waddup!

Reply 6

Exo-Politician

Not for me personally, but I don't look down on those who do have them. One of my best friends went through a bit of a phase a while ago, actually! I was worried about her getting hurt, 'cause she tended to have feelings for these guys as well, and I was a bit surprised because a few years ago you really wouldn't picture her being like this, but I certainly value her friendship no less. :smile:

Reply 7

INeedToLoseWeight

Personally I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as both the people know what they are in for, and don't expect a relationship from it, and you are safe, I don't see the problem.

Reply 8

KJane

I've never had one, but I'm not against them, I can't say I'll never have one but if I wouldn't unless we use protection.

they rock!

I personally don't think it's reasonable if a girl does have one. (Completely subjective though, just my opinion).

Reply 11

Leahcar

IMHO sex is something that's enjoyed differently by everyone. Some people would never dream of having a one night stand, some people do it all the time. I'd have no problem with having one, but I'd not initiate one or go searching for some random to have sex with.
As long as everyone's safe and wearing what they should be wearing then I don't see the problem!

Reply 12

emeritus2011

its all good but after the 3rd or 4th i'd rather get a f..buddy

Reply 13

Rancorous

They suck.

You have to use condoms - which eliminate 90% of the feeling, the girl is often nervous - which makes it difficult for her to enjoy it - because you haven't had sex before you don't know each other's likes and dislikes.

Rawdogging it, yes - but you're irresponsible if you have sex without them. Before not using them you have to make sure she's on the pill, you've both been tested and are mutually exclusive. Unless you want an STD.

Reply 14

Hazular

It's not "wrong" in any sense, unless we're still living in either a) 1853 or b) Tess of the D'Urbervilles.

Reply 15

pooo

I'm probably in the minority of males for thinking this but it is an opinion shaped by my own experiences. Had I been brought up elsewhere and been exposed a different women i'd naturally think differently.

I think ONS are perfectly acceptable and okay so long as both parties fully comprehend and are okay with what it means. I know so many girls who are in tears of regret the next day because they feel humiliated and ****e (which seems odd to most guys).

Alot of women, imo, are not built for it and therefore when they do engage in it, it hurts them, makes them feel used and tricked. It's not their fault and it's not the dudes fault. A guy will never explicitly say 'i want a shag, just for one nightm you'll do, come home let me cum inside you then please leave, I'll prolly not want a chat or a hug after, in fact I may just want you to leave straight after. Don't think for one second I care about your ex, or that you have a dog and like making cakes. I just want you for one night only. I wouldn't take you home to my rents and my aspirations of a girlfriend wouldn't be with someone like you.' (of course not all are like this, i'm just describing your typical one). If you can handle that sort of casuality then go for it - none of my friends could.

A lot of the time getting a woman home and then out of her clothes requires persuasion in which case (my opinion) it shouldn't have happened at all. If a girl is out for casual sex, she'll let you know and feel free to pursue it. If she is not sure then it's better to avoid than to risk bruising her confidence and ego. If you take a girl home and even moments before entering her if she says no, it's a no. I've had girls come home with me on various occasions and just chat, kiss and sleep (maybe i'm uglier in my room light but i'd like to think a women still has a choice and can come for comfort (a lot have a billion issues they need to get off their chest and what they really crave is a hug and a heart to heart with no fear of being judged, they think sleeping around will help, but it doesn't))

I'm not answering your question well. My GFs sister has just gone through a break up and going out with her is a nightmare, she attracts sleezeballs and they insists that they are good guys to her and she goes back everytime, against our say and then calls my GF the next day in tears. For some people it isn't simply a 'drunken mistake' that you get over. It chips away at her confidence and she's loosing her own self respect. She is begining to think she doesn't deserve to 'find love' like her sister and that all guys are dicks (even though she is meant to be the better looking more attractive out of the two). She even slept with a friend of mine and I wanted to punch him after seeing her state when I realised what he was doing was within his right. All of us get up to it at some point in her life. She had agreed to go hone with her, he had gotten a shag, he was happy to give her breakfast wave her goodbye and never think about it again, where as she was falling deeper and deeper into depression.

I know you will all accuse her of being dumb and weak ( I did to start) but the more I talked to my female friends the more I realised how different our genders perspective of sex and ONS were. Where we guys (in my group of friends atleast) see it as a simple score, no big a deal, some of my female friends see it very differently as though they are being objectified or conquered. One even said she'd rather sell her body for cash than engage in sex casually (honestly) because she wasn't getting anything out of it. She craves more than to be someones quick dirty ****, she'd sooner make some benefit out of it.

Sorry for the long spiel. Maybe i'm just friends with weirdos but I think ONS really need to be defined Perhaps girls need to learn to accept them/not engage in then (which in my opinion is hardly fair at all, girls cannot help that their life experiences/mentality have shaped their sexual preferences so.) But till an equillibrium is reached, guys need to keep it in their pants in reapect of protecting our female citizens sexual confidence and emotional well being. If you can handle what comes with ONS go for it. Just stay safe and don't hurt anyone.

Sorry once again for holding such an extreme and perhaps inaccurate view of the situation, but it helps me explain and inderstand the experiences I have had/seen happening to my friends.

EDIT:

Could I just add, society seems to pressure women into thinking ONS and casual sex is a norm when in a lot of the cases it's not suited to their mental and emotional well-being. Why encourage something which is so intrinsically impossible for a large section of female society?

You are essentially tricking(?) Women into living by the rules of men (=have loads of casual sex - women are biolically designed to want long term where as guys want to spread their seed about as much as possible). Women know what you want before you engage in anything. It is OKAY to have lots of casual sex and sleep with whoever you want to long as you stay safe and out of harm from them and yourself.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 16

sugarjunkie001

i have slept with 22 people and of those, i think 13 were one night stands. and another 5 were 'flings'. i have only slept with 3 long term partners :/

so no, i don't think they're wrong. i'm perfectly happy and healthy.

Reply 17

Pink Bullets

If I like someone enough to have sex with them once, I like them enough to have sex with them more than once. So no, for me personally. Don't care what anyone else does.

Reply 18

Zoombini

I've never had one personally, but i dont think there's anything wrong with them if both people are doing it for no strings attatched fun. But i think quite often atleast one of the people want something more or are just doing it to make themselves feel loved. In that case those people shouldn't be having them because it just leads to complications or hurt feelings.