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One night Stands.... your views.... Watch

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    (Original post by *Hakz*)
    I personally don't think it's reasonable if a girl does have one. (Completely subjective though, just my opinion).
    so you only think it's reasonable for guys to have one night stands with other guys??
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    (Original post by unicornsoncrack)
    so you only think it's reasonable for guys to have one night stands with other guys??
    No, what I'm trying to say is that in the public's eye, some people will label girls as ****s/sluts/hoes for having a one night stand while boys will probably get praised/ratings for it.
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    I feel that if you're single and the other person is single there can't be any harm in it at all if that's all you want after all we all have needs and wants and that doens't mean that you should have to put them off untill you are with someone long term, in a relationship or marries SURLEY
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    On a personal level, having sex with a stranger doesn't appeal to me and I've never done it. I've only had 1-2 real 'one night stand's - one with a friend I've known for 6 years... and the other was with a guy I was seeing at the time.

    I prefer sex within a relationship, but that's just me. I would never judge someone else on their own personal preference. xx
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    I'm 20 and have slept with 4 people, 3 were long term relationships and 1 was a one night stand a couple of weeks after a bad break up.

    Oddly enough, the ONS was amazingly good sex (a rarity from what I've heard), I wasn't particularly drunk, the guy and I got on really well, but since we're at unis quite far apart there doesn't seem to be much point in pursuing it. We're still in touch which is nice and makes me feel better that he's not a complete tool, but does blur the lines a bit and probably gets my hopes up (even though objectively speaking I know there's no way you could consider a long distance relationship after one night!)

    Personally, I am not going to make a habit of it because I know that I am not emotionally able to handle it. My natural inclination is only to be so intimate with someone if we care about each other a lot, and I know that the next day I would find it very hard to leave knowing that we were never going to contact each other again.

    I am sure there are some girls who are able to detach themselves from the emotional side, but I know that I am not one. I appreciate that guys/people who do frequently engage in ONS's are not going out with the intention of hurting people, but I personally know that the next day I would feel used. I'm a confident, outgoing person in every other aspect of life but I don't think regular casual sex is for me.
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    Personally, I think that sex is something which is being flaunted around too casually now, and alot of people just see it as something to do because it's enjoyable. I think sex is something which should only occur between people who are in a relationship. (Remember this is only my opinion, I'm not condemning anyone who doesn't feel the same, and I'm not saying that it's not moral.)
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    (Original post by *Hakz*)
    I personally don't think it's reasonable if a girl does have one. (Completely subjective though, just my opinion).
    So a guy can have one but not a girl? How...?
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    (Original post by *Hakz*)
    No, what I'm trying to say is that in the public's eye, some people will label girls as ****s/sluts/hoes for having a one night stand while boys will probably get praised/ratings for it.
    So we shouldn't have them for the fear of prudes throwing idiotic, untrue names around? Nahh.
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    (Original post by BethanArianwen)
    I personally think they're a load of crap.

    But if you do decide to go for it, be careful, and im not talking just protection, i mean be careful of who you do it with.
    Please don't write in different colours. It's not the done thing.
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    (Original post by NPhere)
    I am a first year student at uni and I wanted to know what people views were on one night stands? Before I started uni, I was quite clear in my opinions in what I felt was wrong and right, and now since Ive started uni, everything different, Im confused about whats right and worng anymore and I feel as though I have lost myself a little, as i always thought I knoew myself. But I guess Uni is about finding yourself aswell...

    well just wondered, are one night stands wrong or right in your opinion? Starting uni, it seems as though everyone has or has had a one night stand/(s) my friend admitted to few one night stands, and she lost her virginity during a one night stand,which she now regrets, although she did want a relationship with the guy.... she's now madly inlove with her longterm BF which is really sweet...

    If you asked me a few years ago i would have said one night stands are wrong... now im not so sure.... i like the idea of having freedom, to do as you please with whom you please, and I think if ur happy then it's acceptable... I dunno not so sure??? ..... anyone.......
    I think its fine, if you want to then go for it - just make sure to use protection and youl be fine.
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    I always think about doing it when I'm out for the night, but I don't think I have it in me to go through with it. ****ing tart lol...
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    Don't really care, I've had them before and it's not like the earth opened up and ate me whole.

    It's just a bit o' fun.
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    Honestly? At the time it was fun but I always deeply regretted it afterwards. But that's just me. And i was ill at the time said ONS occurred!
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    Probs the only person on TSR that think they are disgusting and slutty.
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    #2

    I had one last week and it was my first one.


    Emm...it was okay. I'd do it again.
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    I think they're wrong, for me personally. I couldn't care less what other people do.
    Now I'm a bit older - I went through a bit of a mad stage when I was 18ish - I couldn't imagine having sex with a random stranger I have just met.
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    (Original post by pooo)
    I'm probably in the minority of males for thinking this but it is an opinion shaped by my own experiences. Had I been brought up elsewhere and been exposed a different women i'd naturally think differently.


    I think ONS are perfectly acceptable and okay so long as both parties fully comprehend and are okay with what it means. I know so many girls who are in tears of regret the next day because they feel humiliated and ****e (which seems odd to most guys).

    Alot of women, imo, are not built for it and therefore when they do engage in it, it hurts them, makes them feel used and tricked. It's not their fault and it's not the dudes fault. A guy will never explicitly say 'i want a shag, just for one nightm you'll do, come home let me *** inside you then please leave, I'll prolly not want a chat or a hug after, in fact I may just want you to leave straight after. Don't think for one second I care about your ex, or that you have a dog and like making cakes. I just want you for one night only. I wouldn't take you home to my rents and my aspirations of a girlfriend wouldn't be with someone like you.' (of course not all are like this, i'm just describing your typical one). If you can handle that sort of casuality then go for it - none of my friends could.

    A lot of the time getting a woman home and then out of her clothes requires persuasion in which case (my opinion) it shouldn't have happened at all. If a girl is out for casual sex, she'll let you know and feel free to pursue it. If she is not sure then it's better to avoid than to risk bruising her confidence and ego. If you take a girl home and even moments before entering her if she says no, it's a no. I've had girls come home with me on various occasions and just chat, kiss and sleep (maybe i'm uglier in my room light but i'd like to think a women still has a choice and can come for comfort (a lot have a billion issues they need to get off their chest and what they really crave is a hug and a heart to heart with no fear of being judged, they think sleeping around will help, but it doesn't))

    I'm not answering your question well. My GFs sister has just gone through a break up and going out with her is a nightmare, she attracts sleezeballs and they insists that they are good guys to her and she goes back everytime, against our say and then calls my GF the next day in tears. For some people it isn't simply a 'drunken mistake' that you get over. It chips away at her confidence and she's loosing her own self respect. She is begining to think she doesn't deserve to 'find love' like her sister and that all guys are dicks (even though she is meant to be the better looking more attractive out of the two). She even slept with a friend of mine and I wanted to punch him after seeing her state when I realised what he was doing was within his right. All of us get up to it at some point in her life. She had agreed to go hone with her, he had gotten a shag, he was happy to give her breakfast wave her goodbye and never think about it again, where as she was falling deeper and deeper into depression.

    I know you will all accuse her of being dumb and weak ( I did to start) but the more I talked to my female friends the more I realised how different our genders perspective of sex and ONS were. Where we guys (in my group of friends atleast) see it as a simple score, no big a deal, some of my female friends see it very differently as though they are being objectified or conquered. One even said she'd rather sell her body for cash than engage in sex casually (honestly) because she wasn't getting anything out of it. She craves more than to be someones quick dirty ****, she'd sooner make some benefit out of it.

    Sorry for the long spiel. Maybe i'm just friends with weirdos but I think ONS really need to be defined Perhaps girls need to learn to accept them/not engage in then (which in my opinion is hardly fair at all, girls cannot help that their life experiences/mentality have shaped their sexual preferences so.) But till an equillibrium is reached, guys need to keep it in their pants in reapect of protecting our female citizens sexual confidence and emotional well being. If you can handle what comes with ONS go for it. Just stay safe and don't hurt anyone.

    Sorry once again for holding such an extreme and perhaps inaccurate view of the situation, but it helps me explain and inderstand the experiences I have had/seen happening to my friends.

    EDIT:

    Could I just add, society seems to pressure women into thinking ONS and casual sex is a norm when in a lot of the cases it's not suited to their mental and emotional well-being. Why encourage something which is so intrinsically impossible for a large section of female society?

    You are essentially tricking(?) Women into living by the rules of men (=have loads of casual sex - women are biolically designed to want long term where as guys want to spread their seed about as much as possible). Women know what you want before you engage in anything. It is OKAY to have lots of casual sex and sleep with whoever you want to long as you stay safe and out of harm from them and yourself.
    I agree to an extent but still, it is the girls choice to go home with a strange guy, even if he is a friend of one of her friends. However I know full well drunk girls can be persuaded in the absence of friends who should be looking after them but when the night starts this girl should udnerstand her limits and it wouldn't be the first time she had gone for a ONS.

    Your Gfs sister has a pretty bad "I need attention" issue which needs addressing.

    If I were to have sex with any woman and she turns around to moan about random ****, I dont really pay attention, I'm a decent guy and I will listen and give advice but I made the mistake of giving advice to a person once before and it turned out I was being led on by a two-faced liar so my sympathy stops at the door when she leaves unless there is real chemistry.

    Most men however are so ****ing shallow it is unbelievable. This guy was dancing with a girl (she grabs me but I resist) has a ONS with her and I ask a week later how it went and if he is seeing her anymore.

    "nah mate she went bat crazy". Thats code for "she was doing my head in". A lot of guys do not have the capability of listening to women they have no intentions of friending/dating. its simpel fact and I am guilty of it as well although I didn't sleep with the women i chose to ignore, they just flat-out annoyed me, even the pretty ones.


    TBH I dont really like ONS, sure its great to get a notch up and see what she is like but I'd take a few dates and work my comfort zone up with her. its better and more of a giggle when we do sleep together.
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    As long as both go into it as being just as it is, a one night stand then no problem. As others have said previously, dont get emotionally involved if it is only a one night thing.
    Yes I have, and yes I will again if I felt like it.
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    If you do, practice safe sex.
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    i personally think they just make u too attached to the person and want more of them afterwards, making me to have appeared a needy twit after! and i always got hurt from them sometimes still do them liek a fool though to try and make myself feel better about something that has hurt me or happened badly please respect yourself and dont do it unless uno u can keep ur distance away from them
 
 
 
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