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    Hi, I'm 20. Second year at a top 20 uni, doing a decent enough course. But it's all I have to be proud of.

    I used to be extremely good looking. But now I've lost all confidence in myself after being cheated on in my only relationship I've ever been in 5 years ago and straight after the relationship, getting severe acne on my face and back which have now turned into acne scars. I have taken accutane and thankfully do not break out with spots any more, but I have so many acne scars from the past.

    With no make up on, I am very very bad looking. Less than 3/10 by any standards.
    After putting on concealer and mascara and lash curling, it turns me from a 3/10 maximum, to at least a 9/10 on looks. You can't see any acne scarring at all! People think I'm a male model when I've got makeup on, and I get a lot of girl attention at clubs.

    On saturday night I went to a club and got a lot of compliments and attention. The next day, I went out in the day time without make up, apart from curling the lashes, and the same girls that I met yesterday or was looking at yesterday were squinting at me and making comments amongst themselves, their faces scrunched up as if they've seen a monster - story of my life for the past few years.
    Clubbing isn't really my scene, I just go because it's the only time where I can feel that I look good, although I don't respond to attention, nor do I dance with any girls. I know the truth of how bad I look, they're just seeing the fake me.

    I've been living mainly in social exclusion for the past 5 years and I can't even hold a conversation with females. I'm too scared to talk to them. If I get to know them, in the bright sunshine they're going to see how ugly I am and will walk away - this is how its been in the past. I also have no personality whatsoever as a result of my social exclusion and drop in personality. How on earth would girls accept the scars I have on my back too? I don't even talk to males because they always joke around about my looks. I feel like a useless, inferior human being.

    Please don't say pics or GTFO and stuff like that, I'm not going to show any pics because I don't want to be publically displayed. But I swear on my life that this is how it is and I'm not overrating myself either when I have make up on. What 'ego' do I have to protect? I have nothing and can offer nothing. I just need some advice or anything because I'm just such a failure.

    From your friend, the ugly duckling.
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    You are too superficial - get over it.
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    brb jumping of a cliff since no pics
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    Joker..
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    So wear make up if it makes you happy.
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    Wear make up if it makes you feel more confident
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    Wear makeup then, millions of girls wear foundation to even their skintone, why can't you?
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    I've had acne since I was 13 (I'm now 20), and although it's better now my skin's still bad- iI'm incredibly self conscious about it. However, I just think that there are plenty of girls and guys that seem very attractive with just as bad/worse skin and I don't think less of them, so I try not to let it get to me.

    I've met a couple of guys with very bad acne scarring and I can't honestly say it made them ugly to me! It was obvious that, looking past it, they were very handsome in fact! It wouldn't put me off dating someone, and I'm sure I can't be the only person who feels like this.
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    If make up makes you feel better about yourself, who are we to judge?
    We all have our imperfections and we all deal with them in our own way.

    Good on you.
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    But..but..you're a guy..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I'm 20. Second year at a top 20 uni, doing a decent enough course. But it's all I have to be proud of.

    I used to be extremely good looking. But now I've lost all confidence in myself after being cheated on in my only relationship I've ever been in 5 years ago and straight after the relationship, getting severe acne on my face and back which have now turned into acne scars. I have taken accutane and thankfully do not break out with spots any more, but I have so many acne scars from the past.

    With no make up on, I am very very bad looking. Less than 3/10 by any standards.
    After putting on concealer and mascara and lash curling, it turns me from a 3/10 maximum, to at least a 9/10 on looks. You can't see any acne scarring at all! People think I'm a male model when I've got makeup on, and I get a lot of girl attention at clubs.

    On saturday night I went to a club and got a lot of compliments and attention. The next day, I went out in the day time without make up, apart from curling the lashes, and the same girls that I met yesterday or was looking at yesterday were squinting at me and making comments amongst themselves, their faces scrunched up as if they've seen a monster - story of my life for the past few years.
    Clubbing isn't really my scene, I just go because it's the only time where I can feel that I look good, although I don't respond to attention, nor do I dance with any girls. I know the truth of how bad I look, they're just seeing the fake me.

    I've been living mainly in social exclusion for the past 5 years and I can't even hold a conversation with females. I'm too scared to talk to them. If I get to know them, in the bright sunshine they're going to see how ugly I am and will walk away - this is how its been in the past. I also have no personality whatsoever as a result of my social exclusion and drop in personality. How on earth would girls accept the scars I have on my back too? I don't even talk to males because they always joke around about my looks. I feel like a useless, inferior human being.

    Please don't say pics or GTFO and stuff like that, I'm not going to show any pics because I don't want to be publically displayed. But I swear on my life that this is how it is and I'm not overrating myself either when I have make up on. What 'ego' do I have to protect? I have nothing and can offer nothing. I just need some advice or anything because I'm just such a failure.

    From your friend, the ugly duckling.
    Have you considered going to the doctor to deal with you self-esteem issues, or treatments for the scars? There are lots of things you can do to minimise the scars but until then I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing make-up, just because you're a guy doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to feel good about yourself.
    Do these girls really react to you like this the day after, or could it be your conscious making it up? It's very easy to feel down about yourself but there are things you can do, and one of the best things about being a guy is that you don't need to be incredibly good looking to be attractive.

    If people are saying you look like a model with the make-up on, then be proud of it. Acne and the scars they leave behind, even with no treatment, will evenutally leave, but you'll still have this model face.
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    I doubt those girls really were talking about you and looking disgusted, you are probably being paranoid. Similar to how some girls seem to feel 'naked' without their makeup and are convinced they are ugly without their makeup, when in fact, they often look much better without it.

    Not many people genuinely view themselves as good loking as today we are always critical about our weight, appearance etc thanks to the pressure to look 'good'.

    You are not at all a failure, I too have terrible acne on my back and on my face and front too, I can't wear what I want to because of it. Throughout my life I have always seen myself as the ugly duckling and used to wonder when I'd funally turn into the swan.

    I never have done, merely my attitude towards my self has changed, I'm not conventionally good looking and most of the lads at my college most most likely rate me as a 3/10 but I'm not after those kind of guys so thats fine by me, I've accepted myself.

    As for your personality, I've never been great socially either..but it is all about self confidence, people will not warm to someone who mopes in the corner and has a negative view of themselves, its difficult to talk to someone like that.

    You need to learn to love yourself, if make-up is a quick fix option then go for it, but you shouldn't have to do that.

    Accept yourself, then improve from there.
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    Just do what makes you happy, or have a few sun beds.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I'm 20. Second year at a top 20 uni, doing a decent enough course. But it's all I have to be proud of.

    I used to be extremely good looking. But now I've lost all confidence in myself after being cheated on in my only relationship I've ever been in 5 years ago and straight after the relationship, getting severe acne on my face and back which have now turned into acne scars. I have taken accutane and thankfully do not break out with spots any more, but I have so many acne scars from the past.

    With no make up on, I am very very bad looking. Less than 3/10 by any standards.
    After putting on concealer and mascara and lash curling, it turns me from a 3/10 maximum, to at least a 9/10 on looks. You can't see any acne scarring at all! People think I'm a male model when I've got makeup on, and I get a lot of girl attention at clubs.

    On saturday night I went to a club and got a lot of compliments and attention. The next day, I went out in the day time without make up, apart from curling the lashes, and the same girls that I met yesterday or was looking at yesterday were squinting at me and making comments amongst themselves, their faces scrunched up as if they've seen a monster - story of my life for the past few years.
    Clubbing isn't really my scene, I just go because it's the only time where I can feel that I look good, although I don't respond to attention, nor do I dance with any girls. I know the truth of how bad I look, they're just seeing the fake me.

    I've been living mainly in social exclusion for the past 5 years and I can't even hold a conversation with females. I'm too scared to talk to them. If I get to know them, in the bright sunshine they're going to see how ugly I am and will walk away - this is how its been in the past. I also have no personality whatsoever as a result of my social exclusion and drop in personality. How on earth would girls accept the scars I have on my back too? I don't even talk to males because they always joke around about my looks. I feel like a useless, inferior human being.

    Please don't say pics or GTFO and stuff like that, I'm not going to show any pics because I don't want to be publically displayed. But I swear on my life that this is how it is and I'm not overrating myself either when I have make up on. What 'ego' do I have to protect? I have nothing and can offer nothing. I just need some advice or anything because I'm just such a failure.

    From your friend, the ugly duckling.


    A girl should be the last person to say that make up makes a person "fake" - so maybe that's a psychological issue. (note: I'm not generalizing. I don't use make up except very special occasions and I know that several girls don't, but most do.) I'm a girl and I do whisper to my friend when a hot guy passes, but I would never look at an "ugly" (I hate that word when used to describe a person's looks) and say "ewww". I'm smarter and better than that, and so would anyone worthy of you be.


    Secondly, it sounds like the "social exclusion" you talk of could be more because of you being self conscious and may have nothing to do with how you look/how you think you look. Be more confident about yourself. Beauty is only external. If someone has to like you, they'll like you for who you are. At the end of the day, we'll all grow old and grey - looks will degrade your personality will not. Furthermore, since you were in a long term relationship, I'm assuming that's what you want, so my point is even more valid.

    I personally have no bias towards looks (we're much more than empty shells), but if it bothers you so much, have you considered seeing a dermatologist? If that doesn't help, a concealer will - so don't beat yourself up about it, it's just okay.
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    if you feel confident with make up on, then keep wearing it. there's nothing wrong with it! i can't leave my house without my eyeliner done and foundation on. we all have our comfort blankets :kitty: xoxoxoxoxox
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    A lot of guys wear make up on a night out at expensive, exclusive places in the States.

    She cheated on a 15 year old version of you. Girls cheat on even the best sorta males out there. Thinking of media examples, even Justin Timberlake and Ben Affleck were cheated on for petes sake. Will Smith's movie hitch was actually inspired by a cheating ex. A simple google search shows me that Will Smith said this:

    "My first girlfriend cheated on me when I was 15 years old, and I processed in my mind that she cheated on me because I was not good enough. And I remember my walk home after I found out, and I remember just vowing to myself that I would never not be good enough again."

    And if the guys say anything, then be like 'It feels to weird to imagine myself without it, it's there on me now I don't mind it.'

    So in this very context, you need to get over yourself and stop thinking you're less of a male and have nothing to offer. Maybe you went from a nut-loose girl anyway..
    You just got to focus on loving yourself and having less inhibitions, going out there and doing things for you and not for anyone else. Then you'll find that you'll transcend the levels of what your ex-girl usually goes for in terms of character. You're not doing this for revenge, you're doing this for you. You'll find that your personality is developing a lot as you join societies, meet different people, focus on individual time and doing things you love and really devoting a lot of time for that. Personality is a by-product. You don't have to offer anything to anyone. Just don't hide yourself from others, it'll allow certain people to connect with you and can thus appreciate your visions in life because you showed them what you're about.

    My advice is to find a girl that would accept you for yourself being 3/10, because when you get ready to go out, she'd be getting more than what she wanted looks wise. It's kinda like clark kent by day, superman by night I guess? If it's a simple concealer and eye lash curl, it's not as if that's going to take very long to do anyway, it's kinda like putting gel on. If you were to MAKE YOURSELF look like a GIRL, then I think it's a bit weird.

    Work on things like your body. Get yourself the perfect body and your face would look even nicer because it will get more muscled/chisselled. Working out is one thing that launches a males looks. So basically, if you're a 3/10 now, if you worked out then it'll most likely be upgraded to a 6/10, providing you wear nice clothes, have a good style about you.

    Remember that people may have opinions and thoughts and make negative comments, but people talk all sorts of rubbish, you may as well pick and choose what ones to listen to. STOP making things define who you are. Happiness is from within. Accept who you are and love it.
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    (Original post by Alexisonfire)
    But..but..you're a guy..
    And..and..you're a knob end
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    My sister has male friends who are players, and some of them wear make up and don't even care about it, obviously they don't wear that much but meh.
    What's the big deal?
    True, don't make yourself look like a girl, don't make it look TOO obvious and it will be fine, you're just covering up a few imperfections. It's not as if you're putting eyeshadow and all of this stuff on.

    Loads of guys with acne scars do it. Girls do it all the time, why can't guys?
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    (Original post by Cool Cat)
    And..and..you're a knob end
    I will assume you also wear make up then.
    If you're a guy that is. I can't tell.
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    (Original post by Alexisonfire)
    I will assume you also wear make up then.
    If you're a guy that is. I can't tell.
    Nah, I don't mate

    and lol.
 
 
 
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