I am 18 on a gap year, he is 20 in first year at uni. We have been together 3 years and I love him very much. My family are very important to me but neither of my parents have ever talked to me about sex or my relationship. They are both very non-confrontational and I feel will do anything to avoid the discussion. I feel it's their responsibility to bring it up as they are the parents!
However to avoid these types of conversation they try to shut my partner out. They like him and when they meet him they get on well but rather than have a conversation with me about our relationship they make stupid rules such as not letting me exchange my bunk bed for a normal one, even a single one, paid for by myself. This seems to be to stop us having a 'place to go' so to speak.
The two of us are going travelling round the States over the summer to finish off my gap year and my parents and brother were planning to come out to meet us for the last two weeks so we could all visit the family we have out there together and celebrate my birthday. Last night they announced they did not want him 'spoiling our family holiday' so he would either have to go home early or go elsewhere alone. I think this is so that they do not have to have a conversation about room sharing etc.
Also we are going to a concert with them in June but they have decided that although we have to pay for our own room and tickets then I will share a room with my Mum while he shares with my 14yr old brother and Dad. Mortifying for him, a very private person and he does not know my Dad well at all!
He rarely comes round our house except when invited so I always go to his, however we cannot spend nights together, as he does not stay here out of respect for my parents views but they also stop any conversation where I may ask to stay there.
We love each other very much, have been on holiday together several times, have only recently slept together and are now starting to get to the stage where if we were older/not going to separate unis, we would be moving in together/getting married.
It is very difficult for both of us, that my parents will not acknowledge us as a couple, rather than as their daughter and her "friend" as we loose out on time together and think we should be recognised as a pair.
They are reasonable about most things except this and at a time when I am about to spend large amounts of time away from him and my family, moving away to uni, it would be so good for me if they would be more accepting as I would love to spend time with both of them together/equally. I do not want to be forced to chose!
Has anyone got any advice or been through something similar?
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Should my parents be more accommodating of my other half? watch
- Thread Starter
- 12-04-2011 21:33
- 12-04-2011 21:46
Everything you've said here, you should say to your parents. If they're reasonable people, you should be able to win them over.
- 12-04-2011 21:50
Yea you need to have this out with your parents, you're 18 and 20 for christs sake, you're both adults who dont have to be seperated into seperate rooms like you're 14
- 12-04-2011 21:58
Know the feeling. So, yes, i think they should. Also wish life was easier with me and my partner.
Just don't give up and give in to them. it makes it more difficult down the line.