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Would anyone on TSR sell me their soul? watch

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    Recently I have become increasingly concerned about something which happened a long time ago, as a child, yet I fear could cause some serious long term issues for me that could last well, an eternity.

    When I was eight a sweet shop opened outside my primary school. It was an old fashioned one, sweets in glass jars, pick 'n' mix, a very kind shopowner who's now been sent down (apparently for child molestation charges but that's a different story) anyway you know the type. I was obsessed with it. Every kid in the school was. You just weren't accepted unless you had some form of confectionary product on you at all times, and bartering with your sweets was an essential part of your place on the playground hierarchy.

    Now, this whole system was social suicide for a kid like me. My mum's a nutritionist and my dad's a massive fan of Fat Club. Did I ever have a chance? I was that kid who had an obsenely healthy lunchbox. I was the laughing stock of the dinner hall with my wide selection of balanced, healthy foods, surrounded by jelly snakes, chocolate covered raisins, flying saucers etc.

    I knew I had to tackle this issue. First day of Year Five, I walk up to this kid who was also pretty much the bottom of the social barrell. As overweight, freckly and ginger, he got a fair amount of playground abuse himself. I knew I was speaking to an ally. I told you he was overweight? That's because he lived in the sweet shop. He was going to be my supplier, because there was no chance I could get hold of the sweets in any other way. My parents don't believe in pocket money.
    Obviously I had to think of a way around this. I say I'll offer him anything, homework for months, a few of my Beanie Babies (our school was also going through a craze with them) just for a supply of these sweets. He wasn't having any of it. As a ginger, this dude got constant abuse for his lack of soul. He wanted mine, so he didn't go to hell. We went to a Catholic primary school, so we were pretty damn scared of going to hell, and he was truly convinced he wouldn't because the kids told him he couldn't.

    In the end I gave in. I was thinking of the short term benefits and up to Year 6 I got all these amazing variety of sweets. I still have the slip of paper regarding this exchange with both our signatures on. But this guy has my soul. After Year 6 the ginger moved to the West Country somewhere, and I've never heard from him again. I don't know what to do. I mentioned I went to an RC primary school. Well I'm agnostic myself, but I still have to go to church and everytime I do I feel I can't look the vicar in the eye, and I feel like I've betrayed my family. I know atheists may be quick to laugh at this, but think twice before you treat this as a light hearted issue! Is there anything I can do to resolve myself?!

    Edit: after some useful forum advice, I will seriously consider buying someone else's soul. I don't give a damn if you believe in heaven and hell, I can't afford to risk this. The transaction can take place over Paypal? Any Dawkinists up for it?
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    Sounds a little familiar...

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    (Original post by Mr Inquisitive)
    Sounds a little familiar...

    If my parents won't let me go near my recommended daily sugar intake, why on earth would they let me watch The Simpsons?!

    Wow, thanks for that help though. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by My name is URL)
    If my parents won't let me go near my recommended daily sugar intake, why on earth would they let me watch The Simpsons?!

    Wow, thanks for that help though. :rolleyes:
    You knew they were Simpsons characters though.
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    (Original post by Potiron)
    You knew they were Simpsons characters though.
    Simpsons is universal in MEDCs.
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    (Original post by Potiron)
    You knew they were Simpsons characters though.
    1. You have to watch The Simpons to know what it is?
    2. My name's not URL for no reason, and the image URL pretty much gave it away. :rolleyes:

    We're distracting from the issue. I haven't got a soul. You have. You'll be alrite. What about me? IT FEELS LIKE NO ONE CARES.
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    (Original post by My name is URL)
    IT FEELS LIKE NO ONE CARES.
    Bingo.
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    (Original post by My name is URL)
    !
    [GINGER] its mine! MIIIINEEE! kekekekekke[/GINGER]?
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    3/10
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    (Original post by My name is URL)
    1. I don't live in a hole. I guess most kids would know what The Simpsons are even if they didn't watch it.
    2. My name's not URL for no reason, and the image URL pretty much gave it away. :rolleyes:

    We're distracting from the issue. I haven't got a soul. You have. You'll be alrite. What about me? IT FEELS LIKE NO ONE CARES.
    Then you have a soul. :dontknow:
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    8/10! It made me smile :]
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    Thats rubbish, only lucifer collects souls
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    Eminem sold his soul for fame, you sold yours for some sweets.

    Quickly! travel to the West Country and claim your soul back before it is too late!

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    Go find someone who doesn't believe in souls, and ask them to give you their soul.

    Bingo!
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    (Original post by Seble)
    Thats rubbish, only lucifer collects souls
    The kid was ginger, though...
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    (Original post by Boo!xx)
    8/10! It made me smile :]
    Yeah, agreed.
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    i sold my soul too.. iv done it loads of times.. like thought it my head 'ill sell my soul for *insert latest fad here*' and one time i even wrote 'sophies soul' on a piece of paper and gave it to someone for a bag of weed.. and im completley fine

    maybe nothing happend because im ginger :|
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    Make one. Here's the ingredients:

    50g of sugar
    1 of those wafer cracker things from church (ground up)
    2 tbsps of milk
    10g of chili powder

    Eat it. You got yourself a new soul.
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    You can have mine!

    Nearly new. Barely used. Slightly torn dust jacket.

    Bank details?
 
 
 
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