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Met someone a long time ago and have been falling for them ever since... what next? Watch

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    Anon or delete.

    Met a guy 7 months ago as part of a youth club we both worked at for a weekend. We chatted and I thought we clicked, got a feeling he liked me but freaked out so didn't make a move. Can't remember exactly how we behaved/signs he showed because it was so long ago. Thinking back, I think I really fell for him at the time because I only chicken out/freeze up when I'm really into someone - normally I'm the most confident girl ever when the relationship is casual.

    I've been thinking about him loads ever since, thinking about us together etc. Kinda got to the point where I've fantasised too much, to the point where I feel we couldn't start dating from scratch now because I've thought over everything so much. I wouldn't even have a clue how to act around him. I try and imagine he's just a friend I met a few months ago but I don't think it would work, I can't get in the mindset of having a normal concept of him as a guy I just 'liked a bit' a few months ago. I feel like I know him or something haha, which obviously I don't after all this time. Also, because I've thought about how much I like him for months, I'd freeze up and go insanely nervous around him (unless I was drunk).

    We've chatted online a few times, initiated mainly by him. Now I think about it, that's a sign he does like me, and I should have been more forward in these conversations. Maybe part of me subconsciously holds back deliberately out of fear that he suggests meeting up or something. I don't think I'd be able to handle it, as strange as it sounds. I actually go dizzy/nauseous at the thought, it seems like a dream that we actually spent that weekend together months ago. I just want us to bump into eachother drunk on a night out or something, that'd be my perfect scenario.. to break the ice again. For the record I'm not some paraletic girl who'd start crying and declaring her love, I'd just be confident enough not to have some sort of panic attack, which I would do sober. I'm just so used to having chilled casual relationships where the guy likes me more than I like him so I'm completely in control. I can't deal with having these intense feelings. It's even worse when you've prematurely developed strong feelings when (even if he might sort of like me a bit) it's highly unlikely he has done so to the same degree. Part of me thinks I should just leave it and wait for another guy to come along where a normal relationship forms. But I can't get this guy out my head. And yeah, call me a stalker/creep/desperate/clingy, but if you knew me you'd NEVER think I'd be like this. I'm normal, stable, extrovert, level headed, flirty. I assume he'd have seen this side of my personality when we first met, before I started liking him and became all nervous and aloof. I'm reasonably physically attractive - above average.

    Me and this guy live in the same town btw, but went to different schools and have no mutual friends.

    I don't really know what I'm asking here. Just for advice/guidance I guess. Be honest.
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    Youve said it yourself multiple times. Just be more forward!
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    (Original post by ponpon14)
    Youve said it yourself multiple times. Just be more forward!
    I know, but it's not as simple as that, because of all the issues I outlined
    could you be more specific?
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    Why not say 'would you like to go for a drink some time' - you'll both be tense at first, alcohol will solve all the problems!
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    Seriously, you should go for it and just ask him out for a drink / see a film - but not straight out as that might seem a bit odd! Try chatting to him online for a bit and then slyly mention that you'd like to meet up. You have probably overthought the situation too much, and I bet after the first half hour you will feel more relaxed around him and more your normal self.

    The only other thing that worries me is that you may have over-hyped him in your head and he may not actually turn out to be as amazing / dreamy as you have thought him to be! (I know I have made this mistake!) So try not to have any expectations when / if you meet up, and just think, what's the worst that can happen?
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    Ask him if he wants to see a film with you, then if it's awkward you don't really have to talk, and you could get a drink after

    I think you're overthinking the situation and once you get passed the initial "Omg I'm a bit obsessed with you" it will be fine. It's cute, and it sounds like he's into you, so go for it! The worst that happens is he says no and then you've not lost anything.
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    I know you're all right, but taking that step is easier said than done
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    Anyone else?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete.

    Met a guy 7 months ago as part of a youth club we both worked at for a weekend. We chatted and I thought we clicked, got a feeling he liked me but freaked out so didn't make a move. Can't remember exactly how we behaved/signs he showed because it was so long ago. Thinking back, I think I really fell for him at the time because I only chicken out/freeze up when I'm really into someone - normally I'm the most confident girl ever when the relationship is casual.

    I've been thinking about him loads ever since, thinking about us together etc. Kinda got to the point where I've fantasised too much, to the point where I feel we couldn't start dating from scratch now because I've thought over everything so much. I wouldn't even have a clue how to act around him. I try and imagine he's just a friend I met a few months ago but I don't think it would work, I can't get in the mindset of having a normal concept of him as a guy I just 'liked a bit' a few months ago. I feel like I know him or something haha, which obviously I don't after all this time. Also, because I've thought about how much I like him for months, I'd freeze up and go insanely nervous around him (unless I was drunk).

    We've chatted online a few times, initiated mainly by him. Now I think about it, that's a sign he does like me, and I should have been more forward in these conversations. Maybe part of me subconsciously holds back deliberately out of fear that he suggests meeting up or something. I don't think I'd be able to handle it, as strange as it sounds. I actually go dizzy/nauseous at the thought, it seems like a dream that we actually spent that weekend together months ago. I just want us to bump into eachother drunk on a night out or something, that'd be my perfect scenario.. to break the ice again. For the record I'm not some paraletic girl who'd start crying and declaring her love, I'd just be confident enough not to have some sort of panic attack, which I would do sober. I'm just so used to having chilled casual relationships where the guy likes me more than I like him so I'm completely in control. I can't deal with having these intense feelings. It's even worse when you've prematurely developed strong feelings when (even if he might sort of like me a bit) it's highly unlikely he has done so to the same degree. Part of me thinks I should just leave it and wait for another guy to come along where a normal relationship forms. But I can't get this guy out my head. And yeah, call me a stalker/creep/desperate/clingy, but if you knew me you'd NEVER think I'd be like this. I'm normal, stable, extrovert, level headed, flirty. I assume he'd have seen this side of my personality when we first met, before I started liking him and became all nervous and aloof. I'm reasonably physically attractive - above average.

    Me and this guy live in the same town btw, but went to different schools and have no mutual friends.

    I don't really know what I'm asking here. Just for advice/guidance I guess. Be honest.
    Haven't read it all, but can't you go on a night out with your friends and he goes with his, then arrange to meet in a bar or something?
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    meh I know how you feel
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    (Original post by Cupcakee)
    Haven't read it all, but can't you go on a night out with your friends and he goes with his, then arrange to meet in a bar or something?
    That would be ideal, but we have no mutual friends, and don't go to the same club nights from what I can gather.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That would be ideal, but we have no mutual friends, and don't go to the same club nights from what I can gather.
    Then go to the same club nights.
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    (Original post by Keese)
    Then go to the same club nights.
    That would involve me turning up to a night he's at and stalking him alone..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That would involve me turning up to a night he's at and stalking him alone..
    Take some friends....
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    it isnt that simple.. should've mentioned that i'm in a similar position to the OP, and for me it would be near enough impossible to get anyone to come with me to a night he's at just in the hope of me bumping into him
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    I keep seeing him online and my heart skips a beat I feel so stupid haha.
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    Oh god, I wish I could think of something encouraging to say but I'm in a similar situation, I've liked him for about 8 months but hadn't seen him for about three until today when I finally plucked up the courage to ask him out. I know he likes me. But he said no.
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    you might be more in love with the idea of him, than the guy himself. Just saying...it can happen. Best of luck though.
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    (Original post by anthropology_app)
    you might be more in love with the idea of him, than the guy himself. Just saying...it can happen. Best of luck though.
    True, but we seemed to get on so well, and I can see from a bit of online stalking () that we're pretty similar.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True, but we seemed to get on so well, and I can see from a bit of online stalking () that we're pretty similar.
    im kind of in a similar situation but i have the guy for longer now.. he has just started uni and we usually meet up in the summer. but like its taking me ages to get to know him cos i am quite shy lol and i have tried a bit like text him not often though!, and recently invited him out for my 18th bday. but its just like he might not be like i imagine and from online stalking lmao we are quite similar in some ways. like i dont think im after a relationship with him, i just want to get to know him more but its taking ages! sorry for my rant! wasnt very helpful! x
 
 
 
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