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Going down on a circumcised girl Watch

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    ....Ignore it? :dontknow:

    She probably already feels ridiculously self-aware.
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    Op you're ****ing disgusting. Why would you dump her because of a traumatic mutilation against her will, a part of her past that has defined her life so far? Wtf.

    She deserves better. Please op, leave her. Better break her heart now than wait and shatter it later with your **** personality.
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    (Original post by pooo)
    Op you're ****ing disgusting. Why would you dump her because of a traumatic mutilation against her will, a part of her past that has defined her life so far? Wtf.

    She deserves better. Please op, leave her. Better break her heart now than wait and shatter it later with your **** personality.
    Hark at you.

    Its completely natural for OP to be unsure of what to do: theres enough worries and concerns in a relationship with 'normal' circumstancse, let alone throwing in FGM too. If it bothers him, it bothers him: its not something he can change, and casting out for advice and opinions in unfamiliar situations is a perfectly reasonable and logical response.

    Clearly, we cant all be as mature and understanding as you.
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    It depends on the 'type' of circumcision: has she had her clitoris removed, or just the foreskin/hood? (I don't actually want answers to these questions, but it's something you should find out/consider.) If it's the latter, I should imagine the difference won't be as great as to any other girl. If the former, well...

    If you like her so much, you should at least be there to support her if needed, sex aside. That's entirely your personal preferences.
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    Wow. Just reading through and I'm really surprised at how few people know about FGM (Female genital mutilation).

    http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/

    Just talk to her about what would be best for her. If the 'circumcision' was done completely, then sex may be incredibly painful for her. Take it slowly............
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    Do a bit of research on it. Be sensitive because this is such an intimate and traumatising thing to happen to someone. I'm not sure what to say. But if she's managed to tell you something this intimate then it shows she really trusts you.
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    that black model fatima from ANTM had the same thing happen to her
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    That is raw. I'm afraid you're a bigger man than I if you stick around.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well she's Egyptian and trust me she's hot otherwise I wouldn't be interested in her! I just don't want to be too impulsive about my decision or be unfair over something she had no choice over.
    You sound like a prick, so do her a favour, not yourself and dump her.
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    I am sorry but you sound like a ****ing idiot, how can you say you wouldnt go out with her if she was not hot, is the realtionship superficial. I am guesing she comes from a muslim background so sex would be a pretty big deal to her!
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    #1

    Wow, everyone I am not a prick! I think quite a lot of guys would have a problem with this in my situation. I'm aware that this is terrible on her part and I would never wish her to feel uncomfortable or ashamed of something beyond her control. It's just that it is unusual and it's difficult for someone in Western culture to get used to it and try to work around it. I can't really get it out of my mind.
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    (Original post by TheWorld!)
    I am sorry but you sound like a ****ing idiot, how can you say you wouldnt go out with her if she was not hot, is the realtionship superficial. I am guesing she comes from a muslim background so sex would be a pretty big deal to her!
    Nah, she's Christian and has had sex with one guy already (although he was Egyptian too and native so I'm not sure whether he would have had experience with this before??).

    I apologise for admitting that my initial attraction was based on her looks. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Gallabay)
    Hark at you.

    Its completely natural for OP to be unsure of what to do: theres enough worries and concerns in a relationship with 'normal' circumstancse, let alone throwing in FGM too. If it bothers him, it bothers him: its not something he can change, and casting out for advice and opinions in unfamiliar situations is a perfectly reasonable and logical response.

    Clearly, we cant all be as mature and understanding as you.
    It wasn't just his unwillingness to understand the sensitivity of this issue it was also his 'she's hot, I wouldn't be going out with,her otherwise' which suggests he is shallow and makes me,think his reasons for gettong squirmish are shallow as well.

    I know i'm being harsh but I have an in built defence. A very good female friend of mine who I absolutely love without a doubt was raped 8 months ago, she struggled so much, her life just fell apart. Despite the fact that she was assaulted, lost her virginity and was sober during the whole event (which was perpetrated by a guy she KNOWS) she didn't go to the police. She told me 23 weeks after the event and made me swear not to tell anyone (i wonder if this applies to the internet...oh ****), I couldn't believe it. Hearing her story had the most profound effect on me, I felt angry, confused and it was the closes i've been to tears in 10 years. I just wanted to take her and hide her away from the evil of the world. A week later she text me and said how good she felt after getting it off her chest and I was really happy especially because of the graphic detail, the tears, everything madr me think she would have felt worse, but she said she relived it almost everyday and saying it out loud almost sealed it as an event and not something that defined who she was. I was really glad and then bang, thay night she turned up at my door in tears. She had told her boyfriend AND HE DUMPED HER. Dumped her for a traumatic robbery of her diginity, her independance. A violent abuse of her feminity, that fucling boy RAPED my friend, violated her body, poisened her head with the memory and rendered her an emotional mess and her boyfriend wanted 'some time apart' after hearing this.

    That is what is wrong with me, I keep linking the two responses. I am sorry for her BF and I am sorry for OP that they are (innocently, unintentionally no doubt) so disattached from the tragedy that being an abused women means.

    Tell me to man up, tell me to grow some balls but I have no respect for someone who even refuses to try and understand and accept the scars women carry after event like these. Be it female mutilation which leaves her insecure, mutilated and effectively broken down there or raped...which is a slightly more extreme version.

    I am not right for linking the two, but I guess I too, like OP have a 'mental thing' and I cannot help but get in a rage at these such thoughts. For that I apologise.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nah, she's Christian and has had sex with one guy already (although he was Egyptian too and native so I'm not sure whether he would have had experience with this before??).

    I apologise for admitting that my initial attraction was based on her looks. :rolleyes:
    Even if she is christian egyptian society can be highly patriarchal, i am sure if her parents new she was having sex they would freak! But you did come across as a **** i wished i could punch you in the face. seriously!
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    (Original post by pooo)
    It wasn't just his unwillingness to understand the sensitivity of this issue it was also his 'she's hot, I wouldn't be going out with,her otherwise' which suggests he is shallow and makes me,think his reasons for gettong squirmish are shallow as well.

    I know i'm being harsh but I have an in built defence. A very good female friend of mine who I absolutely love without a doubt was raped 8 months ago, she struggled so much, her life just fell apart. Despite the fact that she was assaulted, lost her virginity and was sober during the whole event (which was perpetrated by a guy she KNOWS) she didn't go to the police. She told me 23 weeks after the event and made me swear not to tell anyone (i wonder if this applies to the internet...oh ****), I couldn't believe it. Hearing her story had the most profound effect on me, I felt angry, confused and it was the closes i've been to tears in 10 years. I just wanted to take her and hide her away from the evil of the world. A week later she text me and said how good she felt after getting it off her chest and I was really happy especially because of the graphic detail, the tears, everything madr me think she would have felt worse, but she said she relived it almost everyday and saying it out loud almost sealed it as an event and not something that defined who she was. I was really glad and then bang, thay night she turned up at my door in tears. She had told her boyfriend AND HE DUMPED HER. Dumped her for a traumatic robbery of her diginity, her independance. A violent abuse of her feminity, that fucling boy RAPED my friend, violated her body, poisened her head with the memory and rendered her an emotional mess and her boyfriend wanted 'some time apart' after hearing this.

    That is what is wrong with me, I keep linking the two responses. I am sorry for her BF and I am sorry for OP that they are (innocently, unintentionally no doubt) so disattached from the tragedy that being an abused women means.

    Tell me to man up, tell me to grow some balls but I have no respect for someone who even refuses to try and understand and accept the scars women carry after event like these. Be it female mutilation which leaves her insecure, mutilated and effectively broken down there or raped...which is a slightly more extreme version.

    I am not right for linking the two, but I guess I too, like OP have a 'mental thing' and I cannot help but get in a rage at these such thoughts. For that I apologise.
    And your anger is quite justified at the men who committed the act of FGM, I dont think anyone would attempt to fault you for that, but as i think you were acknowledging, the OP and the men that mutilated her are two different people, and directing your rage at him therefore is quite upsetting. A lot of men, including myself, use being shallow as a defense mechanism, rather than actualy being shallow.

    I can begin to understand the guy who dumped your friend: it would be incredibly difficult to come to terms with the fact that your girlfriend had been raped, some are strong enough and compassionate enough to deal with it, and help the girl, some aren't. That, unfortunately, is the way the world works. Its quite a big ask for someone you dont know that well to commit to putting someone else back together, especially at what I assume is quite a young age.
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    (Original post by pooo)
    it wasn't just his unwillingness to understand the sensitivity of this issue it was also his 'she's hot, i wouldn't be going out with,her otherwise' which suggests he is shallow and makes me,think his reasons for gettong squirmish are shallow as well.

    I know i'm being harsh but i have an in built defence. A very good female friend of mine who i absolutely love without a doubt was raped 8 months ago, she struggled so much, her life just fell apart. Despite the fact that she was assaulted, lost her virginity and was sober during the whole event (which was perpetrated by a guy she knows) she didn't go to the police. She told me 23 weeks after the event and made me swear not to tell anyone (i wonder if this applies to the internet...oh ****), i couldn't believe it. Hearing her story had the most profound effect on me, i felt angry, confused and it was the closes i've been to tears in 10 years. I just wanted to take her and hide her away from the evil of the world. A week later she text me and said how good she felt after getting it off her chest and i was really happy especially because of the graphic detail, the tears, everything madr me think she would have felt worse, but she said she relived it almost everyday and saying it out loud almost sealed it as an event and not something that defined who she was. I was really glad and then bang, thay night she turned up at my door in tears. She had told her boyfriend and he dumped her. Dumped her for a traumatic robbery of her diginity, her independance. A violent abuse of her feminity, that fucling boy raped my friend, violated her body, poisened her head with the memory and rendered her an emotional mess and her boyfriend wanted 'some time apart' after hearing this.

    That is what is wrong with me, i keep linking the two responses. I am sorry for her bf and i am sorry for op that they are (innocently, unintentionally no doubt) so disattached from the tragedy that being an abused women means.

    Tell me to man up, tell me to grow some balls but i have no respect for someone who even refuses to try and understand and accept the scars women carry after event like these. Be it female mutilation which leaves her insecure, mutilated and effectively broken down there or raped...which is a slightly more extreme version.

    I am not right for linking the two, but i guess i too, like op have a 'mental thing' and i cannot help but get in a rage at these such thoughts. For that i apologise.
    omg i literally want to kill the guy who did that!! I am soo sorry or your friend, he deserves to be reported
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    If she's had sex before then she probably didn't have the more extreme forms of FGM and can probably still feel sexual pleasure, etc. Just ask her what she likes in a tactful way and you should be fine. Just please be tactful in everything you do because a slip-up or mistake could make her feel awful for a long, long time.
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    Stick it in?
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    (Original post by Lexi99)
    Havent got any advice really but just thought i should say that she will still get pleasure and can probably maybe orgasm from other ways without a clitoris
    Doesn't that depend on the circumcision?
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    (Original post by pooo)
    It wasn't just his unwillingness to understand the sensitivity of this issue it was also his 'she's hot, I wouldn't be going out with,her otherwise' which suggests he is shallow and makes me,think his reasons for gettong squirmish are shallow as well.

    I know i'm being harsh but I have an in built defence. A very good female friend of mine who I absolutely love without a doubt was raped 8 months ago, she struggled so much, her life just fell apart. Despite the fact that she was assaulted, lost her virginity and was sober during the whole event (which was perpetrated by a guy she KNOWS) she didn't go to the police. She told me 23 weeks after the event and made me swear not to tell anyone (i wonder if this applies to the internet...oh ****), I couldn't believe it. Hearing her story had the most profound effect on me, I felt angry, confused and it was the closes i've been to tears in 10 years. I just wanted to take her and hide her away from the evil of the world. A week later she text me and said how good she felt after getting it off her chest and I was really happy especially because of the graphic detail, the tears, everything madr me think she would have felt worse, but she said she relived it almost everyday and saying it out loud almost sealed it as an event and not something that defined who she was. I was really glad and then bang, thay night she turned up at my door in tears. She had told her boyfriend AND HE DUMPED HER. Dumped her for a traumatic robbery of her diginity, her independance. A violent abuse of her feminity, that fucling boy RAPED my friend, violated her body, poisened her head with the memory and rendered her an emotional mess and her boyfriend wanted 'some time apart' after hearing this.

    That is what is wrong with me, I keep linking the two responses. I am sorry for her BF and I am sorry for OP that they are (innocently, unintentionally no doubt) so disattached from the tragedy that being an abused women means.

    Tell me to man up, tell me to grow some balls but I have no respect for someone who even refuses to try and understand and accept the scars women carry after event like these. Be it female mutilation which leaves her insecure, mutilated and effectively broken down there or raped...which is a slightly more extreme version.

    I am not right for linking the two, but I guess I too, like OP have a 'mental thing' and I cannot help but get in a rage at these such thoughts. For that I apologise.
    You're right and wrong with regards to this thread.

    Firstly finding your other half attractive is important, and if you don't think they're hot there is a problem there. It's not as simple as visual things either, you view your partner as hot because of who they are and how they look. And it quickly becomes difficult to tell which factors cause what.

    To not go out with someone because you don't find them hot is fine.

    That is as far as my disagreement with you goes however.
    And I agree, to just judge these things with no reflection and think "might just dump her" is insensitive and she deserves better.
    Your friends 'boyfriend' is a **** if that's how it went down. And I think your friend ought to dump him, It might be the only way for her to get any dignity out of what seems like a doomed relationship, because no-one deserves to be treated like that.

    Have you gently encouraged your friend to see a counsellor?
 
 
 
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