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    Don't understand how some people can be so subdued to their parents. You're being treated like a child. I'd affix a lock to my door. Your parents are just people - be cool, calm and commanding instead of shouting like a child and it does wonders.

    I'd just be like;

    "My room is my own personal space. Come in here again, open my mail again, read my phone again, and I will consider placing a lock on all of those things. I am legally an adult and entitled to my own personal space. I am asking you now to re-evaluate your actions, and the consequent strain they are placing on our relationship, or I may have to take my own initiative on the issue."
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    (Original post by penguin-)
    :lolwut: chill man
    oh and stop quoting me plz, i dont wanna debate anymore. Me too tired
    If your happy with your parents rummaging through your things, then cool, you get on with your life and I'll get on with mine
    eh thats my point, they actually don't go through my stuff cose you have to create a trustful enviroment, which most people dont and so the parents become curious and go thought your stuff, they aint just going to be one like "oh its time to search all my kids stuff now"...
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    My mum always reads my mail and opens my packages, despite not living at home anymore.

    She always used to use the excuse "I didn't read it properly and thought it was for me". I can understand that there's only the two of us in the house, so most mail is for her, but we have different surnames!
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    Sounds like you need to sit down and have a proper chat, possibly with some backup of a kind.

    Otherwise, consider taking steps to secure your affairs. Can you get your post delivered elsewhere? Encrypt/password protect your phone, computer, etc.
    When you go to uni, take *everything* that you don't want her to fiddle with.
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    Fill the box with the following items:

    -Oregano to look like weed (as someone already mentioned).

    -Condoms

    - animal/gay porn

    -razor blades + needles

    -A book on how to comit patricide and get away with it.

    - A suicide note in your mother's name.

    Then hide the key somewhere it can be easily found and make sure there's a cam in the room so you can see your moms face!
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    (Original post by Manesh2468)
    i dno i think its pretty acceptable after everything ive seen, if you do ever go india youl notice no ones doors are shut for the whole day, over here everyone is very confidential and want alot of privacy which is fine, but then u get subgroups e.g. community - > familys -> family members, everyone has something to hide which is fine, but you cant go blaming when you think no one repescts your privacy. Sure if they trust you then you should have your own privacy in a ideal world but how many parents acctually trust there teenager kids? =/
    I've read the whole thread and I think ur comments about whites were totally unnecessary :mad: Having a need for privacy has nothing to do with that, Im Asian and I very well need my own space even though I've got nothing to hide.

    As regards the doors in India being open, its only to let in fresh air as most people dont have the luxury of acs and it can get quite hot.
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    (Original post by Manesh2468)
    no offence to any of u lots , but ur all typical white people =/ what u lots crying bout privacy against the person that raised you, ur still living in there house and what ever is inside it belongs to them basicly and even if your "paying" to be there its still there property and they have the right to know the contents of it. BTW putting a padlock on a box does tempt curiousity obviously anyone would want to know whats inside it once they have seen it, cose its a bit like saying "theres something in hear that your not allowed to see" and thas like the dumbest thing u could say to ur parents since after that they WILL want to see whats inside it. Anyways bout hiding what ever ur hiding it makes more sense to hide somewhere where no one ever goes or somewhere hard to get to gl.... neg rep the hell out of me roflmao cose the truth hurts!
    They dont have a 'right' to know whats inside, they might own the house but not own u. They shouldnt be going around reading ur text messages and stuff cuz it shows a lack of trust, the messages may not be 'wrong' or bad as such themselves but they may not be meant for them and/or may be misinterpreted.
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    (Original post by The_Timepasser)
    They dont have a 'right' to know whats inside, they might own the house but not own u. They shouldnt be going around reading ur text messages and stuff cuz it shows a lack of trust, the messages may not be 'wrong' or bad as such themselves but they may not be meant for them and/or may be misinterpreted.

    (Original post by The_Timepasser)
    I've read the whole thread and I think ur comments about whites were totally unnecessary :mad: Having a need for privacy has nothing to do with that, Im Asian and I very well need my own space even though I've got nothing to hide.

    As regards the doors in India being open, its only to let in fresh air as most people dont have the luxury of acs and it can get quite hot.
    Some good posting.
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    (Original post by The_Timepasser)
    They dont have a 'right' to know whats inside, they might own the house but not own u. They shouldnt be going around reading ur text messages and stuff cuz it shows a lack of trust, the messages may not be 'wrong' or bad as such themselves but they may not be meant for them and/or may be misinterpreted.
    lol bruv what was the point in doing this haha, you know im right no use arguing

    and they do "own" you untill you are above the age of 18, untill then you are under there supervision which means they have the right to check your things, unless they have been baught by yourself personaly which i highly doubt being that they had to cry about it on a forum... and the arguments against the house, its there parents house, the kid does not pay any rent through a formal contract which means even if they pay "rent" (makes them feel happy that they are "old" enough) the property/rooms in the house are still the parents property, just cose they say "this is your room" to make the kid feel more mature and happy does not mean it is actually theres.... and the only way there is going to be any real lack of trust is if the child is a trouble child who is not worth trusting due to hindsight over the years of raising the kid...

    if the kid lived in there own house and there parent came to search through everything then this would be a whole new argument.
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    I can understand how frustrating this must be. Your mum must feel really deperate to behave in this way. She obviously thinks that you have stuff you want to hide and that is what worries her. I know it mustn't feel like it but it does show she really cares about you. She is just scared. As has already been suggested you could have drugs in the box and that would be something she would be desperate to talk to you about.
    However you are old enough to be entitled to your privacy and if she doesn't have anything to fear regarding drugs why not tell her? It sounds like you have tried to tackle her intrusive behaviour before in a mature and sensible way. Sometimes you just need to keep trying!
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    (Original post by The_Timepasser)
    I've read the whole thread and I think ur comments about whites were totally unnecessary :mad: Having a need for privacy has nothing to do with that, Im Asian and I very well need my own space even though I've got nothing to hide.

    As regards the doors in India being open, its only to let in fresh air as most people dont have the luxury of acs and it can get quite hot.
    nice choice of words bruv roflmao
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    It's got to be condoms or sex toys. Or perhaps something completely "innocent" but private.

    Replace the contents of the box, as others have suggested.
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    Don't yell. I know, it's tempting, but when you yell nothing gets done because both of you begin to feel persecuted.

    Calmly ask her why she feels the need to look in the box. Mention nothing else, deal purely with this one issue and the emotions around it. That way you don't look like you're being accusatory, just asking for knowledge. Be prepared to open the box to show her there's nothing bad in there, maybe old pokemon cards or whatever, keepsakes. Tell her, calmly, how her trying to get into the box makes you feel.

    If this doesn't work at all, if you have a friend you can stay with for a few days, while you both calm down, I suggest you try this. It's possible she doesn't realise quite how much her need to find out about your life/things is driving you away from her.

    Whatever you do, do it calmly. Keep breathing evenly and don't yell or scream
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    http://i.imgur.com/Zlk1a.jpg
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    [IMG]http://images2.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/6869051/*****ES-BE-CRAZY-yo.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generato rName=poker-cat[/IMG]
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    I woke up one morning to find my dad looking for my car key in my blazer pocket. He pulled out a tampon. :|
    He hasn't looked in there since.
    Try something like that.
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    (Original post by Manesh2468)
    lol bruv what was the point in doing this haha, you know im right no use arguing

    and they do "own" you untill you are above the age of 18, untill then you are under there supervision which means they have the right to check your things, unless they have been baught by yourself personaly which i highly doubt being that they had to cry about it on a forum... and the arguments against the house, its there parents house, the kid does not pay any rent through a formal contract which means even if they pay "rent" (makes them feel happy that they are "old" enough) the property/rooms in the house are still the parents property, just cose they say "this is your room" to make the kid feel more mature and happy does not mean it is actually theres.... and the only way there is going to be any real lack of trust is if the child is a trouble child who is not worth trusting due to hindsight over the years of raising the kid...

    if the kid lived in there own house and there parent came to search through everything then this would be a whole new argument.
    Whats that supposed to mean...u've already been proven wrong by me and several others!

    Well they mite be ur guardians who are responsible for u but we are talking abt parents here not some business contract...they may not be obliged to legally but considering the fact that they love u and out of general human rights they should give u some basic privacy. I understand abt the parents still owning the room and the things in it, but it doesnt mean they can flick through ur things without good reason. A child mite officially become an adult at 18, but tht doesnt mean they cant think for themselves/have adult needs for privacy when they're a few years younger than that...it doesnt happen overnight. Not necessarily...many parents will look through every one of their children's things for no reason. One of my Asian friends go through this and he's a bloody angel. Besides its the parent's job to atleast have a conversation wid the kid and motivate them to not repeat past mistakes before resorting to this.
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    Take a crap in the box. That'll teach her.
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    (Original post by Manesh2468)
    nice choice of words bruv roflmao
    (Original post by Manesh2468)
    nah i aint, its aight when they call everyone asians in one group .. muslims, hindus, chinese, japense, all get put into one group, is that not generalisation in itself and the pricks were saying i generalise, is it not slightly racist that they group us all into one group and call us "asians", all i said was "typical white people" that is not racist...

    anyways you got murked by my argument back at you haha

    hahaha i like how you called me racist but you called them "whites" anyways roflmao.
    I had no idea there was something insulting wid the term "whites", and it was pretty obvious what i meant. In any case it was more of a grammatical mistake than anything of malicious intent. Lets not get pedantric here, jus like u wouldnt want ppl to criticize ur typing.

    Well, its def wrong to generalize any race or group of people but thats not the point...u said it without any provocation on this occasion. And I dont really have anything against the term Asian, we're frm Asia innit? Thats why there is East Asian and South Asian, who while u cant generalise us as, we do share cultural similarities with.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    Some good posting.
    haha thanx...finally we agree
 
 
 
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