OK, bit background I just finished studying and looking for a job so unemployed. HArd to find work and not lookign hard due to problems I have which are ruining my life.
Ok, I used to be good looking as a kid but very skinny and lots body acne. I started Uni as a virgin perhaps due to my looks or maybe as I also had bad agorpahobia and very poor social skills especially with females but even with guys. I cannot hold or make a conversation and hate small talk. Id say Im introverted but I used to have loads of freidns always at my house so that cant be right?
Anyway. Due to fact I had bad acne and was only like 8.5 stone at 5'10 I never bothered to make social life at UNI and I never met people to hang with as I dotn like to join any groups etc and am akward around people.
Anyway, I decided to try to bulk up so for 2 years I isolated myself socially I just studied and went on crazy mass diet. I gained like 30-40lbs but it was mostly fat. I did not know what I was doing in the gym and really just ate excess calories making me get fat. Ths also made my acne 5x as bad and now I notice my hair is thinning. Now, I cant pull off short hair or bald cut becuase I jave a very weird shaped head also, I kinda look like soem emo dude but a kinda big nose some dude siad I looked liek carles Puyol and he is one uglyu mofo..
Well from the profiel I am kinda ugly IMO but front on I used to look like this kinda:
pic alex truner
People said I looked like him.
So, I had been called Carles puyol real ugly and alex turner who is ok looking.
Anyway overall I was realtively happy with my face just not being skinny and acne.
Well now my hair is thinning and It just maes me look hideous. I am only in early 20s and I cannot leave my house without a hat. I have ZERO confidence now. Literally ZERO. I shaved my head to see what it was like and went to a friends and theses 3 girls were just laughing at me. So i just felt like killing them and went home and trashed my house. My life is a mess I am now just a laughing stock.
Like can you imagine Alex turner bald he would not suit look either. Add in fact I lost all the stupid fat I gained and am now only 9/5 stone. AT least my acne is nearly gone.
I used to just look like this
hair wise and overall face shape and body.
But I ruined myself now.
Its like I have a soft face liek di caprio woudl look stupid bald also.
Anyway so as a result off this I have no confidence. I cannot leav my house without a hat so how am I meant to even get ajob. I can no longer make any effort to go to parties or meet or talk to girls. I feel literally dead inside.
I dont even care about my weight anymore...Im gonna bulk up to 10 stone very slowly and just stay like that. Its not as bad as 8.5 stone like I used to be at 18.
Well the acne has cleared up but id prefer acne than hair loss. I Didnt look retarded with acne. So thats ironic.
ANyway as aresult of those years I went all my teens and early 20s with nearly ZERO parties, practiclaly sex on avergae 1x per year.
Now, I have no jobs, no freinds, no self-esteem.
I staying with my mum and basicaly see a pshcyologist and social worker and apart from that I do nothing.
I went to play football with an old friend but I dont even care I had no motivation to play. I dont have no motivation or confidecne to even leave my house without a hat. I played football with a stupid beanie hat on.
I dont see any point in anything anymore.
I look a laughin stock...and I aint gonna get any decent looking girls again. Whats the point even getting a job. SO I can make money to coem home and be depressed or spend on prostitutes. Cant even go to any parties or clusb cause I just get laughed at. So, cant have no socail life. Not that Im a big social person but still, I dunno. Its been this way since I was 18....
I wanted to get bigger so I could go out
I wanted clear skin to meet girl
So now I work on all offf that and my ahir goes..
I dunno Iguess I dont really enjoy socailising anyway really. But just becoming so ugly without even had any yout or life is so depressing. theres loads of ugly men in the world but maybe they had a youth. I never had anything. Its liek I just woke up as some badling ugly man.
I really see no point being alive. I now got OCD and look in the mirror at my hair every 15mins. I cant stand to be aroudn people at all.
I already had poor social skills, anxiety and some agoraphobia so now this is really topped it off.
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HELP my life sucks cause my appearance and now hair loss, plus mental health issues watch
- Thread Starter
- 13-04-2011 05:46