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The Girl i've never met.... HELP! watch

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    (Original post by masterofpuppets)
    I'd say she's not interested, sorry to say.
    Thats what i believe too... but she keeps dragging me on... if we don't talk for a day she goes like crazy saying where you been? i missed you and all that... i don't get it im i like a satisfaction for her to waste time on?
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    (Original post by Berbalicious)
    Oneitis is a dangerous thing my friend.
    She may well be a very nice girl in real life but right now she has you exactly where she wants you. She has made minimal effort so far, yet has you fawning over her, what incentive is there for her to meet you?

    You need to practice some tough love with her imo.
    Make yourself less available from now on, when she messages you don't reply or reply hours later. Make out you have a busy, fun life, even if you don't and tell her about the other girls you meet etc. Become more distant in your conversations, you don't want her to have the impression that you sit watching your phone or fb all day for her message to come through.
    You can't force her to make more effort with you, she may actually want to see you but just not feel sufficient pressure to so yet. She already knows she won't lose your attention even if she blows you off about meeting up. So you need to become more distant and remind her that you want more than just random messaging, if she isn't willing to meet then she needs to know that you won't just wait for that day that may never come, but you will move on and find someone else.

    If she makes more effort and decides she wants to meet, then great...if not then let her go, move on and find someone else prepared to make the effort that you deserve.
    Yeah your right... i've always been there... for her... its now i take a stand. But i have a fear if i don't talk to her then she'll stop talking for good and leave it... and then nothing will happen.... maybe thats for the best right.... the outcome has always been like that? Your right if no one appreciates the effort then there is no point trying even harder.. I gave it my best shot just got to find someone new...although now i feel empty without her...it was fun talking to her and that... but oh well some things are never meant to be... Thats how life is....

    Thanks for the advice man you helped a lot (Y)
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    (Original post by Avik_)
    Yeah well said, her reply will be though... that she wants to when she gets the right time.. shes busy working most of the time..and she probs would say she wants to meet but when the day comes i ask lets meet up she'll say ok then something will happen last minute to stop her from coming... its not coincidental..right?
    Say that if she doesn't have time (at least 1 hour from her 'busy' schedule?) for you then you don't think this relationship will be successful. Don't allow her to walk all over you, and try to be harsh so she knows you are serious, and if she acts all offended then just walk off (not literally lol).

    Make sure she knows that if she tries to get off the hook on the last minute and cancel the meeting, then you will know that she isn't serious about this at all and you will never talk to her any longer.

    Then delete her from your list.
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    (Original post by Osman1993)
    Say that if she doesn't have time (at least 1 hour from her 'busy' schedule?) for you then you don't think this relationship will be successful. Don't allow her to walk all over you, and try to be harsh so she knows you are serious, and if she acts all offended then just walk off (not literally lol).

    Make sure she knows that if she tries to get off the hook on the last minute and cancel the meeting, then you will know that she isn't serious about this at all and you will never talk to her any longer.

    Then delete her from your list.
    She makes a sympathising story... all the time when she doesn't meet her first one was... oh my Mate... shes going to turn 18.. im going throw a good party for her because shes my best mate...and then she says stuff like im sorry please forgive me and that..and den relates saying if i was in her position what would i do... Second story her grandad is at hospital and hes feeling ill so she has to go see him.. and she doesn't want to meet up at college time because she is busy..and the only time she would meet up.. its holiday times.. and ive been asking all these holidays including now.. :/

    But thanks for advice dude much appreciated !
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    (Original post by WeekendOffender)
    I don't get online relationships... how can you like someone you've never spoken to?

    You should learn from this experience. Most of our communication with other people is through body language. By looking at text on a screen and photographs of this person, what you envision them as being like is not what they are like at all. Learn from this. When you picture yourself having a conversation with her, you are having a conversation with a version of her you have made up in your head based loosely on text she has sent you over the internet. Learn from this. She is nothing like you'd imagine. People have more confidence over the internet than they would in person, and in leaving the body language part to your imagination, they can say things they wouldn't usually say to make themselves seem like a fantastic, sexy, improved version of their actual self. Or even as a completely different person.

    She is probably a man. Learn from this.
    Haha lool... ive seen her in real life.. a few times... when i didnt know her.. and also shes been on webcam with me and we spoke on the phone... it just doesn't make sense.. if she doesn't like me why keep talking to me.. i never say hello to her anymore its her always saying Hi. I just try to ignore it...but it sounds like she wants me....but doesnt
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    Maybe she's shy/insecure and wants to meet you but is worried what you'll think of her? Maybe she's not as pretty as she looks in her pics? Could be a variety of reasons.
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    What on Earth are BB pins and why the Hell have you assumed we will all know what they are?
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    (Original post by WeekendOffender)
    I don't get online relationships... how can you like someone you've never spoken to?

    You should learn from this experience. Most of our communication with other people is through body language. By looking at text on a screen and photographs of this person, what you envision them as being like is not what they are like at all. Learn from this. When you picture yourself having a conversation with her, you are having a conversation with a version of her you have made up in your head based loosely on text she has sent you over the internet. Learn from this. She is nothing like you'd imagine. People have more confidence over the internet than they would in person, and in leaving the body language part to your imagination, they can say things they wouldn't usually say to make themselves seem like a fantastic, sexy, improved version of their actual self. Or even as a completely different person.

    She is probably a man. Learn from this.
    This 100 percent. Well said
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    (Original post by Avik_)
    Haha lool... ive seen her in real life.. a few times... when i didnt know her.. and also shes been on webcam with me and we spoke on the phone... it just doesn't make sense.. if she doesn't like me why keep talking to me.. i never say hello to her anymore its her always saying Hi. I just try to ignore it...but it sounds like she wants me....but doesnt
    Well, since she only speaks to you online she probably isn't as invested in the relationship as you (relationship not meaning a romantic relationship, just interaction between two people). She probably finds it entertaining to speak to you and probably likes you in a friendly way. Since she has become accustomed to speaking to you on the internet, at home, while bored, it's become like a habit. That's why she says she misses you whenever you don't speak for days... it's like a habit for her.

    While she may enjoy speaking with you, and flirting, that doesn't mean she is interested in you romantically. She may just be a flirtatious person by nature and I believe that if she was interested something would have become of it before now. It's been 8 months.
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    Surely if she didn't want to meet you eventually she would just stop talking altogether? :dontknow: Just a thought..

    Edit: Agree also with above post ^
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    she just want to be friends from afar, to chat to. nowt wrong with that unless you're trying to get your end away
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    (Original post by Avik_)
    Well she says she not...but you never know with people.. some can easy lie. But she flirts like crazy and always ask if im okay and that... we speak normally... but ive gotten so used to speaking to her should i just leave it as how it is.. just normally speak and not expect anything?
    To be honest you've made your move and she's declined, and if you want more than flirting then maybe it's time to give up on the expectations and maybe move on...If something does happen down the line then thats great otherwise maybe shes not worth the hassle..Just my opinion.
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    Depends on how much interest she showed when chatting or whatever...if it wasn't always you who had to write to her first then she's interested. Why else would she "put up" with you for so long if she didn't like you?
    It's probably really the thought of meeting someone she's never seen before. You always hear these horid stories of people who got killed by someone they met up with because they'd "met" on the internet. So try and reassure her by telling her she can bring some friends and you'll bring some friends and you can all do something together. I know that's not ideal for you and her to spend some time but at least she'll know you're just a normal person!
    Good luck =)
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    (Original post by Stargazer23)
    Surely if she didn't want to meet you eventually she would just stop talking altogether? :dontknow: Just a thought..

    Edit: Agree also with above post ^
    True say dude... we spoke... last night at like 2 in the morning and i asked her about us... saying where do i stand? Between me and her.... she said will talk about this tomorrow so im awaiting for a reply tonight... she can either says she wants to be friends.. or that she actually likes me... who knows fingers crossed dude !
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    (Original post by Avik_)
    True say dude... we spoke... last night at like 2 in the morning and i asked her about us... saying where do i stand? Between me and her.... she said will talk about this tomorrow so im awaiting for a reply tonight... she can either says she wants to be friends.. or that she actually likes me... who knows fingers crossed dude !
    Good luck then If it's not the reply you really want, you can still talk as friends?
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    If a girl likes you and wants to meet up with you but she can't because of something else, she will suggest another specific date. If you were asked out by a girl you liked and you couldn't attend, you would suggest an alternative time. You wouldn't just say "I can't" and risk them not asking again. Simple as. Vague dates like "maybe another time" or "maybe sometime next week" don't count.

    As for being strung along. Your either in the friend zone (your there for emotional support, for when problems occur with the people she actually is interested in), or she's keeping you strung along for backup while she sees someone else she prefers over you. Don't fall in love with girls who use you for emotional support, while they have sex with the boyfriend who treats them like crap. She's getting the best of both worlds while you suffer.

    Move on quickly.
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    (Original post by alwaysme)
    If a girl likes you and wants to meet up with you but she can't because of something else, she will suggest another specific date. If you were asked out by a girl you liked and you couldn't attend, you would suggest an alternative time. You wouldn't just say "I can't" and risk them not asking again. Simple as. Vague dates like "maybe another time" or "maybe sometime next week" don't count.

    As for being strung along. Your either in the friend zone (your there for emotional support, for when problems occur with the people she actually is interested in), or she's keeping you strung along for backup while she sees someone else she prefers over you. Don't fall in love with girls who use you for emotional support, while they have sex with the boyfriend who treats them like crap. She's getting the best of both worlds while you suffer.

    Move on quickly.
    Yeah your right.. your advice is amazing dude i thank you a lot your a life saver! i totally ended it last night... saying lets just be friends... instead and she with no hestiation what so ever just said yeah alright... that totally crushed me inside... and the rage that was deepening within me i just let it out... by saying i always tried for you.. but this time im leaving for good have a nice life... then deleted her off blackberry facebook....

    and now i feel soo happy Thanks Dude and Thanks everyone for your help it means alot to me !
 
 
 
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