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Am I insane?
Hi, I really dont know what to do. As some of you know im suffering from depression and I probably put too much pressure on my bf. I find it really hard seeing him only once a week. I think hes starting to take me for granted though as he knows I need him so much, hes really lovely but im always the ond who texts him first and rings him and puts credit on his phone. people said i should stop this and ive tried but i get even more depressed if i cant speak to him 
also he doesnt seem to contact me at all in past couple days, i know hes busy at work but he asks me to text him morning coz it cheers him up and then he switches phone off for rest of day. ive told him this but he says stop bugging him, also beacuse a lot of my previous bfs have cheated on me i always think other people are better and prettier than me. he works with this girl/women whos 24, hes 19 and hes said shes plain looking and kinda stuck up but he sees her everyday, 9 hours a day and i worry he will like her and they are interesetd in same things and shes got a degree in what he wants to do feel so worried
also he doesnt seem to contact me at all in past couple days, i know hes busy at work but he asks me to text him morning coz it cheers him up and then he switches phone off for rest of day. ive told him this but he says stop bugging him, also beacuse a lot of my previous bfs have cheated on me i always think other people are better and prettier than me. he works with this girl/women whos 24, hes 19 and hes said shes plain looking and kinda stuck up but he sees her everyday, 9 hours a day and i worry he will like her and they are interesetd in same things and shes got a degree in what he wants to do feel so worriedScroll to see replies
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awww sweet pea chill out, i can see youre getting the paranoid heebie jeebies!! you really really have to control yourself. i have this problem, im like obsessed about when he rings me/texts me etc... and if he doesnt answer a text i used to read into it so much. youre not doing yourself any favours, if u pressure him so much itll get on his nerves. try maybe not texting him or calling him for a day or two, then he wont take you for granted and he'll realise he misses you. thats what i do anyway. also boys are strange, sometimes they just dont realise that its gonna bother us if they dont call, they just presume we know theyre thinking of us, they dont realise we need constant reassuring!! please try and chill out or youll ruin your relationship, try and take the reigns for a bit, let him do the running after you. its really hard but just try and take your mind off him. im in exactly the same situation and worry alot too, but there comes a point youve got to force yourself to stop. i worry bout other girls too but hehy he wouldnt be with you if he didnt love you!!
darn i wish i would follow my own advice sometimes...
darn i wish i would follow my own advice sometimes...
Monkey_Maiden
Hi, I really dont know what to do. As some of you know im suffering from depression and I probably put too much pressure on my bf. I find it really hard seeing him only once a week. I think hes starting to take me for granted though as he knows I need him so much, hes really lovely but im always the ond who texts him first and rings him and puts credit on his phone. people said i should stop this and ive tried but i get even more depressed if i cant speak to him also he doesnt seem to contact me at all in past couple days, i know hes busy at work but he asks me to text him morning coz it cheers him up and then he switches phone off for rest of day. ive told him this but he says stop bugging him, also beacuse a lot of my previous bfs have cheated on me i always think other people are better and prettier than me. he works with this girl/women whos 24, hes 19 and hes said shes plain looking and kinda stuck up but he sees her everyday, 9 hours a day and i worry he will like her and they are interesetd in same things and shes got a degree in what he wants to do feel so worried
also he doesnt seem to contact me at all in past couple days, i know hes busy at work but he asks me to text him morning coz it cheers him up and then he switches phone off for rest of day. ive told him this but he says stop bugging him, also beacuse a lot of my previous bfs have cheated on me i always think other people are better and prettier than me. he works with this girl/women whos 24, hes 19 and hes said shes plain looking and kinda stuck up but he sees her everyday, 9 hours a day and i worry he will like her and they are interesetd in same things and shes got a degree in what he wants to do feel so worriedDo you live far away or something? I see my girlfriend every other day (at least) and phone her most nights...
Also wtf are you doing putting credit on his phone? And what is he doing letting you? Sounds like you're going out with him just so you have someone 'there', which is funny cos you hardly ever see him so he isn't really there. Take a long hard look at this 'relationship' and decide for yourself.
yeah im at uni so only see him on weekends. we both wanna be together but dont think he can be bothered to make an effort whenh i do everything
Monkey_Maiden
yeah im at uni so only see him on weekends. we both wanna be together but dont think he can be bothered to make an effort whenh i do everything
Then maybe you should take a step back and let him do some of the work for a change. If you find that he still "can't be bothered", it may be time to re-think the relationship.
Hun, you know I've always tried to be supportive for you over the past couple of weeks...now I'm gonna be completely honest with you, no matter how bad it sounds.
In regards to your depression (which I hope is getting better), your boyfriend certainly isn't helping matters. You need someone who'll be there and will be supportive, whereas he's never there and has made it clear that he has become annoyed with you because of the symptoms of your depression (which are not your fault by any stretch of the imagination)...now, people like me are here frequently and I've PMed you in the past letting you know that I'd listen to you and try to help you, but of course we're not a physical presence right there beside you. You really need someone there who you can turn to whenever you need to. Having never had a girlfriend myself, I've had to make do with the next best thing - good friends. With one exception, none of them know about my depression, but they can still be there if I feel down, and just being in the company of them takes my mind completely off the depression. While I have supportive friends on various boards I frequent (including TSR), it's just not the same as having a person in front of you that you can talk to.
What I'm about to say may sound a bit cruel, and might not work, but why not just try looking for another guy who CAN be there for you? Maybe just a friend, but you can maybe try and give off the impression to your boyfriend that this friend may be something more. You're paranoid about your boyfriend and this girl he works with, so why not see if it works the other way around? If he really loves you, he won't take you for granted and should try to work harder in the relationship if he sees that he can potentially lose you.....but it's a gamble - I won't put down any of the negative things that could happen, but I'm sure you can work those out for yourself. It's all based on how he perceives things.
Sorry hun, but from things you've said over the past few weeks, I personally have a bit of a low opinion of your boyfriend. Listen to me if you want to, don't listen to me if you don't want to, but that's how I see it.
In regards to your depression (which I hope is getting better), your boyfriend certainly isn't helping matters. You need someone who'll be there and will be supportive, whereas he's never there and has made it clear that he has become annoyed with you because of the symptoms of your depression (which are not your fault by any stretch of the imagination)...now, people like me are here frequently and I've PMed you in the past letting you know that I'd listen to you and try to help you, but of course we're not a physical presence right there beside you. You really need someone there who you can turn to whenever you need to. Having never had a girlfriend myself, I've had to make do with the next best thing - good friends. With one exception, none of them know about my depression, but they can still be there if I feel down, and just being in the company of them takes my mind completely off the depression. While I have supportive friends on various boards I frequent (including TSR), it's just not the same as having a person in front of you that you can talk to.
What I'm about to say may sound a bit cruel, and might not work, but why not just try looking for another guy who CAN be there for you? Maybe just a friend, but you can maybe try and give off the impression to your boyfriend that this friend may be something more. You're paranoid about your boyfriend and this girl he works with, so why not see if it works the other way around? If he really loves you, he won't take you for granted and should try to work harder in the relationship if he sees that he can potentially lose you.....but it's a gamble - I won't put down any of the negative things that could happen, but I'm sure you can work those out for yourself. It's all based on how he perceives things.
Sorry hun, but from things you've said over the past few weeks, I personally have a bit of a low opinion of your boyfriend. Listen to me if you want to, don't listen to me if you don't want to, but that's how I see it.
I know I haven't commented much on your posts but i've been reading them, and I have to say I agree with Dalimyr. Of course, it's entirely up to you. But there are some really lovely understanding guys around.
I'm not syaing anything negative about your bf. Just that some people don't handle things so well. My ex couldn't cope with any of my problems and it became a strain on both of us in the end to the extent that neither of us could cope with the relatioship. Just adding my opinion.
Good luck, hun. Feel free to PM me if you want.
I'm not syaing anything negative about your bf. Just that some people don't handle things so well. My ex couldn't cope with any of my problems and it became a strain on both of us in the end to the extent that neither of us could cope with the relatioship. Just adding my opinion.
Good luck, hun. Feel free to PM me if you want.
Dalimyr
Hun, you know I've always tried to be supportive for you over the past couple of weeks...now I'm gonna be completely honest with you, no matter how bad it sounds.
In regards to your depression (which I hope is getting better), your boyfriend certainly isn't helping matters. You need someone who'll be there and will be supportive, whereas he's never there and has made it clear that he has become annoyed with you because of the symptoms of your depression (which are not your fault by any stretch of the imagination)...now, people like me are here frequently and I've PMed you in the past letting you know that I'd listen to you and try to help you, but of course we're not a physical presence right there beside you. You really need someone there who you can turn to whenever you need to. Having never had a girlfriend myself, I've had to make do with the next best thing - good friends. With one exception, none of them know about my depression, but they can still be there if I feel down, and just being in the company of them takes my mind completely off the depression. While I have supportive friends on various boards I frequent (including TSR), it's just not the same as having a person in front of you that you can talk to.
What I'm about to say may sound a bit cruel, and might not work, but why not just try looking for another guy who CAN be there for you? Maybe just a friend, but you can maybe try and give off the impression to your boyfriend that this friend may be something more. You're paranoid about your boyfriend and this girl he works with, so why not see if it works the other way around? If he really loves you, he won't take you for granted and should try to work harder in the relationship if he sees that he can potentially lose you.....but it's a gamble - I won't put down any of the negative things that could happen, but I'm sure you can work those out for yourself. It's all based on how he perceives things.
Sorry hun, but from things you've said over the past few weeks, I personally have a bit of a low opinion of your boyfriend. Listen to me if you want to, don't listen to me if you don't want to, but that's how I see it.
In regards to your depression (which I hope is getting better), your boyfriend certainly isn't helping matters. You need someone who'll be there and will be supportive, whereas he's never there and has made it clear that he has become annoyed with you because of the symptoms of your depression (which are not your fault by any stretch of the imagination)...now, people like me are here frequently and I've PMed you in the past letting you know that I'd listen to you and try to help you, but of course we're not a physical presence right there beside you. You really need someone there who you can turn to whenever you need to. Having never had a girlfriend myself, I've had to make do with the next best thing - good friends. With one exception, none of them know about my depression, but they can still be there if I feel down, and just being in the company of them takes my mind completely off the depression. While I have supportive friends on various boards I frequent (including TSR), it's just not the same as having a person in front of you that you can talk to.
What I'm about to say may sound a bit cruel, and might not work, but why not just try looking for another guy who CAN be there for you? Maybe just a friend, but you can maybe try and give off the impression to your boyfriend that this friend may be something more. You're paranoid about your boyfriend and this girl he works with, so why not see if it works the other way around? If he really loves you, he won't take you for granted and should try to work harder in the relationship if he sees that he can potentially lose you.....but it's a gamble - I won't put down any of the negative things that could happen, but I'm sure you can work those out for yourself. It's all based on how he perceives things.
Sorry hun, but from things you've said over the past few weeks, I personally have a bit of a low opinion of your boyfriend. Listen to me if you want to, don't listen to me if you don't want to, but that's how I see it.
Hi you have really helped me these past couple weeks and i really appreciate it
it doesnt help that people dont seem to understand, my parents think im just low and ill wake up the next day and ill be happy, my mates are wrapped up in uni life really. i used to think my bf was just really busy to help or understand but i dont think this is the case anymore, even whens hes not busy he just gets angry if i text him or tell him i need his support. earlier on the phone he said i use my depression as an excuse and im exaggerating that really hurt and now i think that maybe breaking up is best for me, i will be upset of course but then could meet some lovley guy like people say. might try that thing you mentioned and see how he reacts, not to test him but to see how he feels. i love him loads but we both cant cope with this anymore.Thanks loads again everyone esp you dalimyr, i do need support at the mo and hes just not giving it to me
I'm sorry to say this but please dump him. He has no right to treat you like that. You need someone that will support you with your depression bot belittle you for it. And yes it'd be hard, but you deserve someone that cares for you. You; honestly be better off without him hun x
-TMG-
Find someone who lives closer to you, who you can be closer to. How long have you two been going out?
I was in a long distance 'relationship' before I came to uni and that was so f'd up. Now I'm at uni, met a great girl here. We have a sauna and everything is perfect :P
I was in a long distance 'relationship' before I came to uni and that was so f'd up. Now I'm at uni, met a great girl here. We have a sauna and everything is perfect :P
I agree with him
Did you dump him yet? There are great boyfriends out there, like mine
[Guess who hehe]
no, you are difinately not insane and I can understand your feelings...but as it looks like from your thread he doesnt put much effort to your relationships, and here is the question why? is he really busy or he just dont want to fins some time for you...if he dosent want to find time I guess you dont want to be with this kind of person, you know coz if he is interested hed put effort...and etc but may be he is really busy..I cant really say or advice you anyth coz I dont know all ins and outs...but if u want you can PM me and tell me more we will figure out something...
another advice - guys dont like depressed girls, try to cheeor up urself and try to be happy when you talk to him, coz just happy people work like magnets with other and thier BF want to communicate witht he more, if you are nagging with him all the time, I can Understand then why he cant find time to be with you, tlak etc...anyway, it is hard to talk about this form info that I have so better PM me and DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!
xxx Cherry
another advice - guys dont like depressed girls, try to cheeor up urself and try to be happy when you talk to him, coz just happy people work like magnets with other and thier BF want to communicate witht he more, if you are nagging with him all the time, I can Understand then why he cant find time to be with you, tlak etc...anyway, it is hard to talk about this form info that I have so better PM me
and DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!xxx Cherry
CherryGarcia
no, you are difinately not insane and I can understand your feelings...but as it looks like from your thread he doesnt put much effort to your relationships, and here is the question why? is he really busy or he just dont want to fins some time for you...if he dosent want to find time I guess you dont want to be with this kind of person, you know coz if he is interested hed put effort...and etc but may be he is really busy..I cant really say or advice you anyth coz I dont know all ins and outs...but if u want you can PM me and tell me more we will figure out something...
another advice - guys dont like depressed girls, try to cheeor up urself and try to be happy when you talk to him, coz just happy people work like magnets with other and thier BF want to communicate witht he more, if you are nagging with him all the time, I can Understand then why he cant find time to be with you, tlak etc...anyway, it is hard to talk about this form info that I have so better PM me and DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!
xxx Cherry
another advice - guys dont like depressed girls, try to cheeor up urself and try to be happy when you talk to him, coz just happy people work like magnets with other and thier BF want to communicate witht he more, if you are nagging with him all the time, I can Understand then why he cant find time to be with you, tlak etc...anyway, it is hard to talk about this form info that I have so better PM me
and DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!xxx Cherry
trigger
you cant just"cheer up" with depression
well, I know it, but if you dont pput any effort to go out of depression YOURSEFL no one actually will be able to help you, dont you think so? and starting cheering up urself, liking urself, and thinking about positive moments of life can really help
trigger
have you ever had depression?
sure I did
trigger
and you beat it by cheering up? I wish it was that easy for everyone
well, not just this, I went to pshycologist, and I was on pills and my friends helped me a lot, but it started to help just when I started to think about positive sides of life, when I forced myself to go out (I mean walking etc not clubs) when In forced myself to smile to the mirrow to myself, or watch a movie thoguth I didnt feel like doing anth...if you put effort yourself and try hard it helps.
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