Turn on thread page Beta

Is this a reasonable idea? watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    OK, firstly, please don't hate as I'm getting a bit desperate

    I'm in a LDR and recently my bf has been paying too much attention to his co-worker (online and in real life). I've mentioned twice (calmly) that I'm not hyped about the online stuff - only what i can see tbf, and received an agressive/defensive response.
    I've been a good girl all these years, his behaviour at times is a bit questionnable, I try to laugh about it. Don't want to get too much into the whole story.

    ok, the idea - writing myself on formspring "i think ur bf likes me" then showing him

    There have been situations where his girl friends have emailed me saying his jokes are borderline suggestive so this wouldnt be sooo unexpected

    again, please don't hate... words don't work for him
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    So you're pretending to be the other girl on fromspring?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by fizzywizzy525)
    So you're pretending to be the other girl on fromspring?
    umm any girl, no-one in particular. i don't know who else he talks to
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    you obviously don't trust your boyfriend and by the sounds of it that's not going to change anytime soon.

    regardless of whether he's being inappropiate or not with other girls, you should probably end it
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    you obviously don't trust your boyfriend and by the sounds of it that's not going to change anytime soon.

    regardless of whether he's being inappropiate or not with other girls, you should probably end it
    i think he got a bit relaxed in the relationship, sure that i'll always be there
    he needs a wake up call that his behaviour isnt going unnoticed
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    That is a ridiculously childish way of going about it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tyler.)
    That is a ridiculously childish way of going about it.
    how would you go about it?

    saying it twice and nothing changing is not childish? listening to being sworn at is not childish?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    You shouldnt have to go through all this incognito bull****. If you have a problem, tell him. You say "words don't work" - this is how humans communicate, if he's incapable of doing this, he's also incapable of participating in a functional relationship, therefore I advise you ditch him.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DiZZeeKiD)
    You shouldnt have to go through all this incognito bull****. If you have a problem, tell him. You say "words don't work" - this is how humans communicate, if he's incapable of doing this, he's also incapable of participating in a functional relationship, therefore I advise you ditch him.
    i just want him to feel baaaaaaaaad
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i just want him to feel baaaaaaaaad
    Ditch him then.

    Or sleep with his brother.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i just want him to feel baaaaaaaaad
    http://www.forumsextreme.com/images/...lfdestruct.gif

    Cautionary tale...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    cool story bro
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    So what do you hope to get out of it? I guess I can kind of see where you're coming from, but I don't see what it will achieve. Do you genuinely think he's cheating and so you want him to admit it? If his behaviour isn't changing no matter what you say, this is unlikely to change that I wouldn't have thought.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    it wont achove anything just dump him, you dont trust him and since its a LDR its going to hard to re build it..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Georgiahoneybee)
    So what do you hope to get out of it? I guess I can kind of see where you're coming from, but I don't see what it will achieve. Do you genuinely think he's cheating and so you want him to admit it? If his behaviour isn't changing no matter what you say, this is unlikely to change that I wouldn't have thought.
    gah i don't know i want him to stop doing it, like commenting on pictures saying how cute she looks, i can see everything he did it just now and it makes me feel very very bad, like im shacking i dnt know whats going on
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    gah i don't know i want him to stop doing it, like commenting on pictures saying how cute she looks, i can see everything he did it just now and it makes me feel very very bad, like im shacking i dnt know whats going on
    And when you tell him how much it upsets you and you cite the specific evidence, how does he respond? I completely get how that would be really hard for you, especially considering the distance. But I don't think your idea is going to solve anything at all really. He'll either just laugh it off as some internet random or he'll get angry and defensive about it, and either way you'll feel rubbish and you won't have gotten anywhere with the situation. Unfortunately, he's the only one that can choose to change his behaviour, I don't see any way of "making" him. I guess you would just hope that if he realises how much it gets to you that he'd want to make you happy by stopping. Although from your brief OP, I guess that's not been the case for a while?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Georgiahoneybee)
    And when you tell him how much it upsets you and you cite the specific evidence, how does he respond? I completely get how that would be really hard for you, especially considering the distance. But I don't think your idea is going to solve anything at all really. He'll either just laugh it off as some internet random or he'll get angry and defensive about it, and either way you'll feel rubbish and you won't have gotten anywhere with the situation. Unfortunately, he's the only one that can choose to change his behaviour, I don't see any way of "making" him. I guess you would just hope that if he realises how much it gets to you that he'd want to make you happy by stopping. Although from your brief OP, I guess that's not been the case for a while?
    um he starts acting like he's 6 and gets angry, blames it on me, that im being irrational and jealous.
    i've tried distancing myself, it doesnt work, he gets confused/angry about that.

    im thinking of provoking some sense by putting pics of me with some guy friends (not doing anything weird)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Georgiahoneybee)
    And when you tell him how much it upsets you and you cite the specific evidence, how does he respond? I completely get how that would be really hard for you, especially considering the distance. But I don't think your idea is going to solve anything at all really. He'll either just laugh it off as some internet random or he'll get angry and defensive about it, and either way you'll feel rubbish and you won't have gotten anywhere with the situation. Unfortunately, he's the only one that can choose to change his behaviour, I don't see any way of "making" him. I guess you would just hope that if he realises how much it gets to you that he'd want to make you happy by stopping. Although from your brief OP, I guess that's not been the case for a while?
    basically i'm being ridiculous, they're just friends.
    silly little ridiculous girl
    ok i have good guy friends, but i dnt feel like i need to say how fit they look. i dont need to flatter their bravado
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    um he starts acting like he's 6 and gets angry, blames it on me, that im being irrational and jealous.
    i've tried distancing myself, it doesnt work, he gets confused/angry about that.

    im thinking of provoking some sense by putting pics of me with some guy friends (not doing anything weird)

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    basically i'm being ridiculous, they're just friends.
    silly little ridiculous girl
    ok i have good guy friends, but i dnt feel like i need to say how fit they look. i dont need to flatter their bravado
    Ok, I'm a bit confused now. First you're saying he's making all these suggestive comments about other women and (understandably) it's making you feel really rubbish, but now you think you're the one over reacting? Is it possible that all this time of him telling you you're being irrational and jealous has rubbed off on you? Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy for my boyfriend to have girl mates, but if he's saying suggestive things and several of my friends have picked up on this, I wouldn't be happy.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Georgiahoneybee)
    Ok, I'm a bit confused now. First you're saying he's making all these suggestive comments about other women and (understandably) it's making you feel really rubbish, but now you think you're the one over reacting? Is it possible that all this time of him telling you you're being irrational and jealous has rubbed off on you? Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy for my boyfriend to have girl mates, but if he's saying suggestive things and several of my friends have picked up on this, I wouldn't be happy.
    sorry sorry the silly little girl thing was how he felt i was reacting
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 13, 2011
Poll
Which accompaniment is best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.