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Acute lymphocytic leukemia - how do I tell everyone? watch

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    So I've been diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukemia...Not good. Feeling pretty numb and in shock I guess. I'm 19 and at uni and got diagnosed away from home...but now it's certain I need to tell family right? My parents love me to bits...how am I meant to tell them? I'm so scared they'll have a heart attack or something.
    My boyfriend...we're crazy about each other...we always joke about marriage and kids...I'm going to ruin his life. I feel evil I can't believe this is happening.
    How do I tell these beautiful people and my friends? Do I just go through chemo and let them work it out themselves? I don't know what to do :'(
    I can't believe a week ago my biggest worry was exams and getting a perfect beach body...
    It's not sinking in that "there's a high likelihood" I won't survive...seriously it's gonna sound stupid but for some CRAZY reason one of the things I said to my doctor was "but I've been growing my hair for agggges"

    i
    dont
    know
    what
    to
    do

    where do i start?! do i drop out of uni? do i carry on? what do i do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukemia...Not good. Feeling pretty numb and in shock I guess. I'm 19 and at uni and got diagnosed away from home...but now it's certain I need to tell family right? My parents love me to bits...how am I meant to tell them? I'm so scared they'll have a heart attack or something.
    My boyfriend...we're crazy about each other...we always joke about marriage and kids...I'm going to ruin his life. I feel evil I can't believe this is happening.
    How do I tell these beautiful people and my friends? Do I just go through chemo and let them work it out themselves? I don't know what to do :'(
    I can't believe a week ago my biggest worry was exams and getting a perfect beach body...
    It's not sinking in that "there's a high likelihood" I won't survive...seriously it's gonna sound stupid but for some CRAZY reason one of the things I said to my doctor was "but I've been growing my hair for agggges"

    i
    dont
    know
    what
    to
    do

    where do i start?! do i drop out of uni? do i carry on? what do i do?
    Hi,
    My name is Matt Porter! Please PM me i'd love to be able to chat this through more! I'm really sorry that nobody responded to this before now! I think you really do need to tell someone, probably your parents because its too big a thing to try and deal with by yourself. Do you know how serious it is, how likely having treatment means survival?

    I think all of the answers to those questions about uni ect need to be talked through with people who know you etc. I think it will put many things into perspective, i'm a Christian and would be happy to talk anything and everything through with you, so please do PM me, and we can chat more from there!

    Matt
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    Hi,

    I'm really sorry to hear this. I think you need to tell your family though, you need their support and they're your family - I guess they should know. I hope you get through it, stay positive and for what it's worth, I'll pray for you.
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    I'm not sure what advice to give you, i have no idea what i'd do in your situation but i've been told that http://www.macmillan.org.uk are really good for advice and support. I wish you the best.
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    (Original post by mattatca)
    x
    1) No-one might've responded to this thread because the Mods might've taken a while to accept it (they do that sometimes).
    2) That you put "i'm a Christian" is as irrelevant as me saying "my favourite colour is green". Needless.

    OP: Just be honest. Tell your family/boyfriend that you went to the doctors where whatever happened, and that's what you've been diagnosed with. Honesty is always appreciated
    Hope all goes well :console:
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    (Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
    I'm not sure what advice to give you, i have no idea what i'd do in your situation but i've been told that http://www.macmillan.org.uk are really good for advice and support. I wish you the best.
    yeah, that group are good. Dont drop or give up on anything. You shouldnt be feeling bad about anything. Live with what you got, and dont sit there thinking negative. Goodluck Lovely x
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    I'm so sorry, keeping you in my prayers. Just be honest with everyone x
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    (Original post by mattatca)
    Hi,
    My name is Matt Porter! Please PM me i'd love to be able to chat this through more! I'm really sorry that nobody responded to this before now! I think you really do need to tell someone, probably your parents because its too big a thing to try and deal with by yourself. Do you know how serious it is, how likely having treatment means survival?

    I think all of the answers to those questions about uni ect need to be talked through with people who know you etc. I think it will put many things into perspective, i'm a Christian and would be happy to talk anything and everything through with you, so please do PM me, and we can chat more from there!

    Matt
    I don't think telling her this is God's "test" is really a good idea.
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    Aw, that's awful, you need support from your friends, family and boyfriend though. No one will be mad at you, it's not your fault, some may be upset and even cry, but that just shows they care and I promise you, if you tell them, they will support you. <3
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    That's very unlucky, it is difficult to advise you with a) no personal experience of this situation, and b) not knowing what you have been told by your doctors.

    Umm generally, I would try think up any questions you still have, then try to speak to a doctor again, and get them to write or type you a document about your case (or if they won't, then go slowly and you make notes).
    This would be for you to read when you want to (because it is difficult to take in information in just one conversation, especially one involving really bad news) and you could also then show this to your family when you are trying to explain what is happening.

    I expect (if it was my family) they will have a lot of questions, which could be exhausting for you. As well any emotional reaction they might have. It might be better to briefly inform them, give them your document, and just leave the room for a little bit. ? At least that is how I would consider handling this situation.

    You can't really not tell your boyfriend or your family. I'd imagine they will ultimately find out, and it's probably going to be awful for you and for them. But at least if they know sooner you can get past the telling them stage, and then everyone can start pulling together to get through this.

    As for dropping out of uni, I would discuss that with the doctor. I'm not going to make any comment on your prognosis (because that is for your doctor to comment on) but at least I will say that I wouldn't leap to the conclusion that you're going to die or have no future.

    I would also ask your doctor or anyone else that would know if there are any groups or charities for dealing with this type of cancer that you could join or could help you.
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    Hi. I'm so sorry and I hope you get better.

    Have you spoken to a doctor about this first? Do you know at what stage the cancer is?

    Talk to your doctor first and then sit down with your family. Please don't hide this from them. They love you and will want to help you out.

    Good luck and you'll be in my prayers.
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    Hey...

    I am in no position to advise you at all so I won't. Although when I read your post I immediately remembered this thread : http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1578813

    It was written by a guy who discovered he had testicular cancer and fought through it. It's a hell of a lot to read but I'm sure it'll be beneficial to you. It's undoubtedly one of the most remarkable stories I have ever heard/read in my life.

    I sincerely wish you all the best in however you choose to deal with your situation and also, the treatment that follows! x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukemia...Not good. Feeling pretty numb and in shock I guess. I'm 19 and at uni and got diagnosed away from home...but now it's certain I need to tell family right? My parents love me to bits...how am I meant to tell them? I'm so scared they'll have a heart attack or something.
    My boyfriend...we're crazy about each other...we always joke about marriage and kids...I'm going to ruin his life. I feel evil I can't believe this is happening.
    How do I tell these beautiful people and my friends? Do I just go through chemo and let them work it out themselves? I don't know what to do :'(
    I can't believe a week ago my biggest worry was exams and getting a perfect beach body...
    It's not sinking in that "there's a high likelihood" I won't survive...seriously it's gonna sound stupid but for some CRAZY reason one of the things I said to my doctor was "but I've been growing my hair for agggges"

    i
    dont
    know
    what
    to
    do

    where do i start?! do i drop out of uni? do i carry on? what do i do?
    You need to tell them, it will be difficult but it has to be done. I've watched people suffer from cancer, my mum died from it when I was 14, leaving me on my own. Now I'm not telling you my personal experience completely because it was awful, but what was worse, was knowing how late she told me about it. She told everyone about it before me, I was only told when it was very bad, and it still eats me up inside that she didn't tell me beforehand, I would have tried to talk to her about it, tried to help. It's worse not knowing than knowing. Your family deserve to know, so does your boyfriend. Yes it will be difficult for them to take in, but they will be there for you and be able to help you through it more than you could ever imagine.

    Feel free to PM if you need to.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by JamesyB)
    I don't think telling her this is God's "test" is really a good idea.
    Faith is something religious people tend to have alot of, which would obviously help someone stay positive in a situation like this. So take ur hatred of religion elsewhere as*hole.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukemia...Not good. Feeling pretty numb and in shock I guess. I'm 19 and at uni and got diagnosed away from home...but now it's certain I need to tell family right? My parents love me to bits...how am I meant to tell them? I'm so scared they'll have a heart attack or something.
    My boyfriend...we're crazy about each other...we always joke about marriage and kids...I'm going to ruin his life. I feel evil I can't believe this is happening.
    How do I tell these beautiful people and my friends? Do I just go through chemo and let them work it out themselves? I don't know what to do :'(
    I can't believe a week ago my biggest worry was exams and getting a perfect beach body...
    It's not sinking in that "there's a high likelihood" I won't survive...seriously it's gonna sound stupid but for some CRAZY reason one of the things I said to my doctor was "but I've been growing my hair for agggges"

    i
    dont
    know
    what
    to
    do

    where do i start?! do i drop out of uni? do i carry on? what do i do?
    Tell you family they'll be more upset at the thought that you are going through something like this on your own and can't turn to the people that love you the most they'll just want to support you as best as they can
    I know it seems like the end of the world now but until you definitely know your prognosis don't assume the worst as in most cases cancer isn't terminal
    Last year my 4 year old sister was digainosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia and it felt like everything was crashing down and it did for the first 3 months watching her go through the chemo and not being able to help her however things slowly started to get better. Now a year on she still has to have chemo but it's a lot better she even uses it to her advantage to get what she wants
    Basically what I'm saying is you can do this it's amazing how strong you can be at times like this. Your parents and boyfriend will be upset but they wil learn to deal with it in time and support you
 
 
 
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