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Guys: Would you want to know if she'd been sexually assaulted? watch

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    Anon please as I'm a regular user, and serious answers only.

    Basically, when I was eight I was sexually assaulted. Not rape, just inappropriate touching. It. Happened a few times by someone I know longer see (not a family member). But I've never told anyone.

    Sexually it hasn't affected me that much, but I do feel horribly aware when I've been with someone. However, it has caused me to have major trust issues that I haven't realised were there till recently.

    I don't know whether it's best to say something to the person I'm seeing casually now (known each other a while)or wait and mention it if it becomes more serious. I'm just scared it'll weird them out.

    Only two people know about it, and it's difficult to talk about. However, I feel it does explain why I can be neurotic and so distrustful.

    Any advice?
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    Anyone?
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    It entirely depends on you, your boyfriend and the type of relationship you have with him. It might scare him away it might not. If its still start of the relationship i wouldnt just yet just incase he isnt the one!
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    At this stage if you want to talk to him about your trust issues/shyness then all you need to say is you've had a bad past experience. Later on, if you get serious and want to tell him then do so, if he becomes your bf he should be able to support you through whatever youve got going on
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    I would want the person to feel that they could confide in me and if that person was having trust issues it would help me to understand what was going on.
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    I'd honestly rather not know.I'd be worried I'd end up freaking them out.
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    i don't think it'd weird me out. but i think you should wait until it gets a bit more serious.
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    It feels like an excuse though, but I am incredibly irrational, insecure and have so little trust. It's really difficult.
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    I would wanna know so I could kick the guys arse.
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    I'd rather not know too early on. Wait until it gets more serious.
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    i think it seems like you want to tell him yet are afraid it will freak him out. It depends on the guy honestly, id say maybe wait a little , personally though if a girl told me that id feel really touched especially since its such a delicate issue it would show how much trust she has in me.
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    • Thread Starter
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    We've known each other a while, nearly two years?
    So I guess it's been bugging me as I think I need to, I'm just worried.
    • #2
    #2

    If you approach the subject with caution and he seems ok to talk about such intimate things then it might be a good idea, but it depends how much you think it'll affect you. The reason I feel this way is because there was an occasion where I had been drinking with my then boyfriend, we'd gone home and started to have sex, nothing new. For some reason the position I was in or something gave me flash backs of a very nasty time and when I had to tell him to stop and stuff he was quite upset and confused and obviously wanted to know what was going on. In fact he thought I'd been cheating on him :/ To be honest I still didn't really tell him the ins and outs as I felt ashamed for behaving irrationally with him and made me just want to forget it. But I can't help but think that if I'd have talked to him about it before we might both have felt a lot more relaxed.

    It really does depend on your state of mind and relationship though. If you don't think he needs to know, then it might be better not to tell him.
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    I really don't think there is any advantage in telling him/her about the past, as it may just make them feel uncomfortable, and you don't want to ruin what you have. If it's affecting your relationship them you might want to do something about it, otherwise don't bother.
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    Depends how close you are - you say you've known each other for two years, but was that as casual acquaintances or close friends?

    Boyfriend and I had been close for about 3 years before we got together, and so he knew that something had happened at some point, but it wasn't a little while after we were officially together and I felt secure in the relationship to tell him the details (or rather, as much details as were needed - I was raped twice, if I freak out/start panicking during sex it's because I'm having a flashback and you just need to hold me until I'm okay again, rape scenes in films usually upset me. He doesn't need, or want, to know exactly what happened).

    If you feel comfortable enough to tell them, then do. If you feel it might be necessary to tell them (if you have flashbacks or are still struggling to come to terms with it), then do.
 
 
 
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