Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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Reply 1980

Anonymous #29

Things are getting a bit out of hand. Spoilered because it's uncensored ED behaviour/triggery

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Reply 1981

Anonymous #50

Toto, you are very attractive. :blush:

Reply 1982

TotoMimo

Anonymous 29, I think it's important to find a confidant. Someone you know and trust. Perhaps it's your mum or dad, maybe a close friend. Someone who can understand your means and methods. But you also need a third party. Someone who doesn't know you at a personal level - like for example, someone on this forum! Together, when you state your issues and problems, you'll find you get a good insight into why these people believe you've found yourself in the situation... but I MUST state first and foremost - you NEED... NEED to tell someone. You MUST say to someone.

By releasing your anxieties to someone else you will learn to vocalise your problems and scrutinise them in a way that internally, you may not have. But the problem is of course taking step one, and that's telling the very first person.

It's difficult, nay- Seemingly IMPOSSIBLE to consider at first, but trust me, your problems are by no means silly or worthless. You deserve, just as much as any other individual, the right to voice your thoughts and fears and nothing ED-related should be viewed irrational.

Please PM me if you need to take the first step and talk in-depth.

Anonymous 50, I am extraordinarily flattered and now have a face resembling pickled beetroot.

Reply 1983

Riku

Original post by Anonymous

Hey guys, lurker here.

Do any of you remember how your disordered eating started? I'm worried that I might be getting into unhealthy habits with my weight loss.

Spoiler contains BMIs and weight loss behaviours...

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Don't know really what I hope to achieve by typing that all out...knocking some sense into me maybe? :redface:

Absolutely monumental post, the last main query I'll be able to answer for a while. Read if you wish.

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I guess the purpose of this was to point out how easy it can be for a healthy desire to lose weight and get in shape to turn into something all-consuming and potentially fatal. Please, please remember you are a person before a dieter first and foremost. I wish you all the best in your efforts towards a healthier you.
Tom
:hugs:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1984

Cake Faced Kid.

Toto, thought it was just me lurking in the food forum with an ED, glad to see it's not (:
Without trying to sound patronizing, I'm so pleased at how far you've come :biggrin:

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Reply 1985

Cinamon

Lookin' good Toto! Love seeing you look so happy :smile:

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(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1986

.snowflake.

Original post by Cinamon

Lookin' good Toto! Love seeing you look so happy :smile:

I may chicken out and take this photo off at some point, but for a sec, here is me the other night....

Trying to focus on the fact that I was feeling well and energetic and happy rather than the fact that I have been putting on rather than loosing weight

Cinamon, you still look tiiiny there! Although everyone on here is timy compared to me. in other news I've bought a dress for my 18th. It doesnt have sleeves :frown:

, and I'll look crap in the photoseveryone takes that end up on facebook, but I'll probably be so tiddly i wont care :/

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1987

Cinamon

Original post by .snowflake.

Cinamon, you still look tiiiny there! Although everyone on here is timy compared to me. in other news I've bought a dress for my 18th. It doesnt have sleeves :frown:

, and I'll look crap in the photoseveryone takes that end up on facebook, but I'll probably be so tiddly i wont care :/

could you delete the link pls snow :frown:

I really don't :frown:

Reply 1988

TotoMimo

Cinamon, you're so beautiful!! You're so wickle-wee, but you smile shows me you mean business and you want to have a proper, healthy life. Remember how you felt when the photo was taken and the distilled joy you felt, and imagine that feeling perpetually!

Snowflake, stay strong. Your positive mindset is your greatest asset and healthy mind is like the tremor that starts the avalanche to a healthy body, healthy lifestyle, and a healthy future!!

Let's remember why we post on here and our recovery - but let us also remember that we are not machines sometimes. We laugh, we cry, and we are human. We screw up, we kid ourselves, make mistakes and occasionally progress blips. But that is nothing! A blip is but a blip. What is a day in the scope of the duration that is your lifetime? A droplet in the ocean.

I am so proud of everyone.

Reply 1989

Anonymous #44

Hey guys, can I have some advice about a friend? She slipped into conversation last night that she's got an appointment with an eating disorder therapist...I'd kind of suspected something was up as she used to be painfully thin and survive off coffee, and then recently she's put on a fair bit of weight (still looks beautiful and healthy but more like a size 12 than the 6 she used to be). I didn't want to push it too much, so I just said if she needs anyone to talk to then I'm here.

This morning she texted me saying her therapist said that part of the therapy is being more open about it, hence slipping it into conversation, and that it felt "kinda weird".

Is there anything I should do or just reassure her that I'm here if she needs me? I assume I should try and avoid the subjects of weight loss and calories (I'm losing weight at the moment) around her?

Reply 1990

Antiaris

Original post by Anonymous

You are perhaps one of the best friends a person could have!

Yes, say that you are there for her. Listen to her. That's all you need to do. Don't PURPOSEFULLY avoid talking about calories and such, just don't make it an overriding theme of conversation. Simple.

Toto, lookin good man. More human assassin, less skeleton! (Halloween theme an all.) Carry on like that and you will be a hero to your lil' nephew! (I'm guessing it's a nephew on your knee in the first pic?)[Shoot me now if it's a niece...]

I think I might post a pre and post recovery weight photo's. I don't care if I look chunky or not, people say I look good but I still see chub. >__> Meh. The key is to to not care.

Tip to all; If you try to gain you have to face fear food. No questions. It is IMPOSSIBLE to gain simply on fruit and veg I have found...

Reply 1991

Cinamon

Toto -

Anon 44 - Just tell her it's great that she is being more open about it and that you're here for her :smile:

Just the fact that you care and it doesn't change anything is enough :smile:

Reply 1992

whatisthis47

There's this guy I like who feels the same way about me. I'm scared of starting a relationship with him because I wouldn't know if/how I'd tell him about my ED. I'm trying to convince myself I don't like him because I'm petrified that he'll be 'put off' me if he finds out about it

Has anyone ever been through a similar thing?
If so, how early in the relationship did you reveal your ED to them?

Reply 1993

Riku

Original post by Vixen47

Spoiler

If he's worth it he'll understand. We should never throw away our opportunities for greater happiness in life simply because we're afraid of losing them. Not to say you can't be happy without him of course, but if you feel it's right then I wouldn't let yourself think that an ED would make you any less in his eyes. Sorry I can't help you more than that.
:hugs:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1994

briesandwich

Original post by Vixen47

Has anyone ever been through a similar thing?
If so, how early in the relationship did you reveal your ED to them?

I'm currently in a relationship with a guy of 3 months and I was worried about this exact same thing when we were first meeting up. We arranged to go to the cinema for our first date, and then I suggested going to a restaurant for our second date. I made sure it was a place I was comfortable with (it had it's nutritional values online.. such a Godsend :tongue:

) and we had a fantastic time.

It was after the first date and before the second date that I told him, because I really liked him and didn't want to throw myself into a relationship holding something back which might "put him off". He simply said "I like you a lot, it doesn't matter that you're unwell right now". :h:

As Riku said, if he's worth it he'll understand. Before I told my boyfriend I just thought 'would I really want to go out with someone who would reject another person just for being unwell?' :smile:

Reply 1995

TotoMimo

I don't think it's ever a bad idea, in ANY scenario, to state that you are anxious or concerned about someone. It proves that you care about that individual enough to bring it up, even though the reaction received may not necessarily be overtly positive.

All that matters is that you approach it with sensitivity, but definitely state your concern for those you hold dear if you feel they're doing something detrimental to themselves.

Reply 1996

Riku

I've broken again:

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Reply 1997

Antiaris

Original post by Riku

I've broken again:

Spoiler

You are being so brave, you need to keep it up to keep living. I can't really say what you look like, but you are probably going through a bad dysmorphia moment. Cheese isn't bad (unless you're lactose intolerant.) Pasta isn't bad. The only thing that is bad is what is going around your head. Ask yourself which is worse, having anorexia or having a potato? Puts things in perspective and is an easy shove in the right direction.

Also; Jesus, how many eating disordered Toms are there?!

You're a Tom
Toto is a Tom
I'm a Tom
One of my friends who developed an ED was a Tom
Another person I know who was ED in the other direction was a Tom....

EDIT:

Also mentioning I had a very weak moment today too. I kept insisting I needed to have food, kinda pushed to the side and ignored. Ended up going a little gaga later.

Me

Key is to get over it an move forward.

.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1998

sentiment

Original post by Riku

I've broken again:

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There is no food that can't be made better by the addition of cheese. I try to accept it and move on.

Be strong, Tom.

Reply 1999

Anonymous #50

I feel horrible, horrible, horrible. I've been trying to fight this cold but I think with me relapsing in the past few days it was going to be a losing battle.

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