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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Hahaha, absolutely love spiro!

    less positive note... this is a bit of a rant and might trigger, I don't know
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    Today I binged the most i've ever binged in my life. A guy I know told me he can tell i'm having lots of fun because i've put on 'uni weight' and am looking 'chubby' (I have never been sub 18.5 so you may say I technically never had to put any weight on anyway)... And then my boyfriend told me he knows I wish I was more toned but I shouldn't stress about it. Now all I can here is "you're not toned". I just feel like i've failed so much at everything. Failed at looking nice and failed at recovering because i'm considering restricting again. I just can't cope with the binging - my whole body hurts and even a stabbing pain in my stomach isn't stopping me getting more food


    Might start playing mass effect 2 again as a distraction :P
    :hugs: I'm really overusing the hug emote atm, but its because I've nothing to say that will help. I hate the fact your BP'ing again C, cos i know you can just suddenly drop dead if your potassium levels go out of whack. and I like you too much, tbf, that applies to all of you on here. Someones said something to a teacher whos then told our head of year about my friend. Head of year now thinks friend is suicidal and has an ED, well she got asked 'Are you eating properly?' Yet the girl she wants to ask about that is always in the library, so we dont drag her unwillingly up to the Coop to get her to eat SOMETHING. Shes also stopped eating gluten and dairy. If she'd said I'm not allowed to eat it, then i'd assume her doctor has told her not to, but she said to me 'I'm not eating gluten, which suggests shes decided herself not to.
    • #10
    #10

    I really need to stop purging guys.

    I desperately desperately want to stop. But its like an obsession I just cannot seem to break out of.
    I am dropping weight rapidly and the university has taken note, if I lose any more then I may have to do temporary withdrawal from my course.

    Its making me so tired. I dont want to do it and yet I still do. Anyone have any coping techniques for resisting it? I have a CBT session today, so hopefully I can discuss this further with her.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    :hugs: I'm really overusing the hug emote atm, but its because I've nothing to say that will help. I hate the fact your BP'ing again C, cos i know you can just suddenly drop dead if your potassium levels go out of whack. and I like you too much, tbf, that applies to all of you on here. Someones said something to a teacher whos then told our head of year about my friend. Head of year now thinks friend is suicidal and has an ED, well she got asked 'Are you eating properly?' Yet the girl she wants to ask about that is always in the library, so we dont drag her unwillingly up to the Coop to get her to eat SOMETHING. Shes also stopped eating gluten and dairy. If she'd said I'm not allowed to eat it, then i'd assume her doctor has told her not to, but she said to me 'I'm not eating gluten, which suggests shes decided herself not to.
    :hugs: Can't P these days - too many people around allllll the time. =/

    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Cinamon)
    :hugs: Can't P these days - too many people around allllll the time. =/

    :hugs:
    atleast i know you're not going to suddenly keel over soon then.
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    How is it even in an INTERNET FORUM I STILL feel like the nerd.

    I still likes me pokemons. ;P

    Well, tonight was like the epitome of facing fear foods.

    A wheel o' Camembert.

    Me and my ma ate half a wheel each, with bread and veggies! (Homebaked bread, of course. I could honestly make a blog about my bread baking.)
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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    How is it even in an INTERNET FORUM I STILL feel like the nerd.

    I still likes me pokemons. ;P

    Well, tonight was like the epitome of facing fear foods.

    A wheel o' Camembert.

    Me and my ma ate half a wheel each, with bread and veggies! (Homebaked bread, of course. I could honestly make a blog about my bread baking.)
    Not keen on camembert. but home made bread. I am jelly. Naan breads are the devils work when microwaved, they are like eating rubber.
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    Try making naan, 'tis good and easy stuff! Mix salt, flour and yogurt, leave to rest, brush with melted butter, ram into a BOILING hot oven (gas mark 8/9!) for 12 minutes. Voila!

    So tender and fluffy, you would not believe.
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    Hi everyone,

    My friend told me she was anorexic this morning. I've suspected it for awhile, so I'm glad we could finally talk about it together. She's been suffering with it since she was 14, so she already has lots of doctors appointments, parents support, counselling etc. but is there anything that I could do as a friend to help her? Or anything that I shouldn't be doing? Obviously this doesn't change our friendship in anyway, or the how I think about her, but I would like to help if I can.
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    (Original post by tabbycat1)
    Hi everyone,

    My friend told me she was anorexic this morning. I've suspected it for awhile, so I'm glad we could finally talk about it together. She's been suffering with it since she was 14, so she already has lots of doctors appointments, parents support, counselling etc. but is there anything that I could do as a friend to help her? Or anything that I shouldn't be doing? Obviously this doesn't change our friendship in anyway, or the how I think about her, but I would like to help if I can.
    I expect the best advice would be to ask her what you can do to help her. It's different for everyone, and she might find certain things difficult or stressful to do/talk about, while other people wouldn't feel that way. :dontknow: The fact she has told you shows she clearly trusts you deeply, and so you should be able to trust *her* to tell you what you can do for her.
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    I'm so confused. I don't think my healthy diet/healthy weight-gain is really much more than relapse. I don't know whether I have an ED ffs! I don't know what I'm scared of. I do know that I nearly got checked out of the house today for making a fuss about having an omelette for tea after having had peanut butter sarnies for lunch thus going over the 30% RDA "fat limit" which scares me a bit. I also know I'm close to giving Mum a heart attack over all of this, even though I thought I was improving a bit.
    I don't get it. I think I'm destined not to be in good shape and have a sharp mind, get good grades and whatever, because it'll always become obsessive and self-infatuated and incredibly hurtful for those I love even if not myself. It's stupid because I started all this for them when piggy Tom wasn't really bringing anything to the table.
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    Urgh
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    I purged this weekend, for the first time in over a year... I was meeting a friend for dinner and I had psyched myself to eat a normal amount of food (we went to Gourmet Burger Kitchen and shared halloumi bites to start (so I had three inch-cubes), then I had a kid's lentil burger with salad rather than the bun and then we shared a small chips, which were my downfall) GBK have these new really skinny fries with rosemary and we decided to try them rather than regular chips. Mistake. They tasted like McCoys salted crisps (that I love) and because they were so skinny and small I couldn't keep track of how many of them I had had. So I freaked out and went to the loo and purged my whole meal (my friend didn't suspect). Why the f**k did I purge?

    Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
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    Hiya, this is my first time posting on this thread and I'm just sort of looking for some advice I suppose.

    I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder, so to speak, but my relationship with food has changed quite drastically in the past few months.

    I started having problems with my boyfriend about two months ago and completely lost my appetite due to the stress of the situation. Now everything's sorted out and although I now feel hungry and crave food and all that I can't bring myself to actually eat. It's almost as if I'm scared of food. I'm getting quite worried because I've lost nearly a stone and half in the past two months and people are starting to notice. I've never had any problems with food in the past so this is a little bit daunting.

    Has anyone ever had anything like this before? Or does anyone have any ideas/advice about what I can do to start eating again?

    thanks x
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    Riku and Belle, I think this confirms the statement that "even when better, you're never really better."

    An eating disorder dictates your life when it has no authority to.

    I want you to take something on board I neglected for a long time.

    The human body lives for up to 120 years, if you treat it right. Though this is purely down to your own input. RDAs and recommended allowances for things are only averages. Limits set to give you the mere average, middling amount during your LIFE.

    Do you have days where you eat nothing but fruit and salad? Days where you eat nothing but burgers and lard? Fair enough. It averages out. RDA means little in the vast span that is your life.

    My biggest folly was calculating stuff day by day. Like a weird robot that reset itself as soon as midnight, 00:00 hit.

    NO!

    Think of progress and your body's metabolism as a flowing river, and not like a set of stairs with definitive checkpoints. You ate a cake? Cool. The body does not see this as a big deal. It's fuel, and it uses it, and it moves on. Fluid. Until death. There is no "banking" period where it checkpoints and does the "Sonic the Hedgehog end of level tally up" thing.

    "2104 calories today banked!"

    This doesn't happen.

    It's a gradual, seamless occurrence that happens bit by bit as time passes by!!
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    Toto- thanks for that. (And the Sonic analogy made me giggle).

    Confession time
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    I have a stock of (illegal) diet pills that I've taken to uni with me, I haven't used them in a couple of years, but they're looking pretty appealing right now... Stupid ED brain. I keep trying to throw them away but I just can't, it's like they're my security blanket.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    I'm so confused. I don't think my healthy diet/healthy weight-gain is really much more than relapse. I don't know whether I have an ED ffs! I don't know what I'm scared of. I do know that I nearly got checked out of the house today for making a fuss about having an omelette for tea after having had peanut butter sarnies for lunch thus going over the 30% RDA "fat limit" which scares me a bit. I also know I'm close to giving Mum a heart attack over all of this, even though I thought I was improving a bit.
    I don't get it. I think I'm destined not to be in good shape and have a sharp mind, get good grades and whatever, because it'll always become obsessive and self-infatuated and incredibly hurtful for those I love even if not myself. It's stupid because I started all this for them when piggy Tom wasn't really bringing anything to the table.
    Went through something similar. The issue is you have an idea of who you want to be, but in the process you have forgotten who you are. You are doing things to become a different person, things we are taught are 'perfect.' You are doing things that aren't implicitly YOU.

    You need to appreciate the fact that we aren't 'made perfect'. People don't aim to be amazing, they do what they LOVE and they simply become amazing at that. You don't aim to BE something. You aim to achieve goals in the world around you, NOT IN YOURSELF.

    The only thing a person can be perfect in is being themselves. Be perfect in that.


    (Original post by chavalis)
    Hiya, this is my first time posting on this thread and I'm just sort of looking for some advice I suppose.

    I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder, so to speak, but my relationship with food has changed quite drastically in the past few months.

    I started having problems with my boyfriend about two months ago and completely lost my appetite due to the stress of the situation. Now everything's sorted out and although I now feel hungry and crave food and all that I can't bring myself to actually eat. It's almost as if I'm scared of food. I'm getting quite worried because I've lost nearly a stone and half in the past two months and people are starting to notice. I've never had any problems with food in the past so this is a little bit daunting.

    Has anyone ever had anything like this before? Or does anyone have any ideas/advice about what I can do to start eating again?

    thanks x
    Sounds kinda like broken heart syndrome, mixing with a few ED chemicals. You CAN manage this on your own OR you can get outside help as it can be very difficult without and the issues may resurface.

    You need to sit down and FACE your fear head on. Battle it head on with an iron will sword. You know what you need to do. Prepare the food yourself, from scratch if needed (for Pete's sake, I baked my own bread!). Think of the effort you put in. Eat the food as the culmination of your efforts.

    The only thing that can stop you is your resolve, simply follow the initial plan.

    Oh, also eat very high calorie density foods. Helps regain the weight. You may need to stomach, le gasp, iced cream products.

    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    Toto- thanks for that. (And the Sonic analogy made me giggle).

    Confession time
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    I have a stock of (illegal) diet pills that I've taken to uni with me, I haven't used them in a couple of years, but they're looking pretty appealing right now... Stupid ED brain. I keep trying to throw them away but I just can't, it's like they're my security blanket.
    Crush them and pour them down the drain. If you can tell us you have an issue with them then you are STRONG ENOUGH to do something to look after yourself like eliminating 'die'ting pills.
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    Kay, bit about myself;
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    Kay, I relapsed a little. I purged last night.

    Am I gonna be bothered? No.

    After I work out I tend to get MASSIVE meat/proteiny cravings. If I don't get it I may eat too much. I know I didn't eat EXCESSIVE amounts but still...

    Gonna jump back onto the wagon and regain my composure. No point crying over spilled milk.

    I am gonna feel guilty about posting this, but I know relapse happens so I will post what I have found helps physical recovery after. BY NO MEANS FACILITATING PURGING (this is damage control, not damage prevention);
    Don't brush teeth for min 30 minutes as enamel on teeth is softened.
    Don't drink for min of hour. It will dilute any electrolytes in you stomach.
    Don't vomit again! Your stomach is flushing electrolytes into your stomach to replace the sodium. Vomiting again will get rid of the electrolytes which is WORSE than the initial purge.
    Eat potassium rich foods soon after. Replaces the potassium lost overall, reducing risk of heart failure.
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    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    Urgh
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    I purged this weekend, for the first time in over a year... I was meeting a friend for dinner and I had psyched myself to eat a normal amount of food (we went to Gourmet Burger Kitchen and shared halloumi bites to start (so I had three inch-cubes), then I had a kid's lentil burger with salad rather than the bun and then we shared a small chips, which were my downfall) GBK have these new really skinny fries with rosemary and we decided to try them rather than regular chips. Mistake. They tasted like McCoys salted crisps (that I love) and because they were so skinny and small I couldn't keep track of how many of them I had had. So I freaked out and went to the loo and purged my whole meal (my friend didn't suspect). Why the f**k did I purge?

    Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Try not to dwell on it lovely. It's done now and there's no use beating yourself up about it or using it as an 'excuse' to do it again. Try and put it behind you and accept that it was a slip but it doesn't mean you're a failure. Maybe you just weren't ready for the challenge at that moment. :hugs: And on a side note, that restaurant sounds amazing.
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    Toto, Antiaris, thanks. Makes a lot of sense.
    The T reckons I've grown to use my being an anxious-depressive-OCD-disordered-borderline EDNOS case as a sort of persona, like status or an eccentric personality to gain attention and reassurance. I know this is a common argument that therapists use but probably does apply to me. If it carries on this way with Mum (who I know much as I love her has her issues and insecurities that don't help either of us), I might have to move out to Dad's or on my own for a bit. Just for some breathing space if not necessarily permanently.
    I've been denied access back to the N at the services too on the basis that I know enough, knew enough about food, nutrition etc. as it is and asking for more is just further fuelling the obsession, because more's never enough. She thinks I'm like an information-whore in that respect, I like hoarding it all in. Kinda like I'm really trying to get an ED even if I'm only disordered now-probably will never find out the diagnosis, maybe that's for the best.I'm also being told CBT's coming to an end soon because I'm too old for it and have enough strategies to get by, just gotta use them.
    So this is the big step really-learning how to stop being dependent on portraying myself as a wreck to get noticed and start rebuilding myself in the character that I am underneath, and figuring out what I really want to do for myself and the world. To do that, I think I'm going to have to lay off this and a few other things a bit. I know I've said this before but last night was a bit of a wake-up call.
    I'll be lurking if you need me, everyone.
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    Sounds kinda like broken heart syndrome, mixing with a few ED chemicals. You CAN manage this on your own OR you can get outside help as it can be very difficult without and the issues may resurface.

    You need to sit down and FACE your fear head on. Battle it head on with an iron will sword. You know what you need to do. Prepare the food yourself, from scratch if needed (for Pete's sake, I baked my own bread!). Think of the effort you put in. Eat the food as the culmination of your efforts.

    The only thing that can stop you is your resolve, simply follow the initial plan.

    Oh, also eat very high calorie density foods. Helps regain the weight. You may need to stomach, le gasp, iced cream products.
    Thankyou for the reply

    At first it was definitely broken heart syndrome, but we're back to being happy again so that's all good.

    Just came back from the GP - I have to go every two months at the moment because I suffer from really appalling stress tummy aches and they're trying to sort them out - and my doctor said that my BMI is now on the borderline (19) of being underweight :/ I'm making a meal for my boyfriend tonight so hopefully after I've finished I can just sit down and yam some lasagne. I'm making the pasta from scratch and everything!!!

    But thankyou again it really means a lot to me
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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    Kay, bit about myself;
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    Kay, I relapsed a little. I purged last night.

    Am I gonna be bothered? No.

    After I work out I tend to get MASSIVE meat/proteiny cravings. If I don't get it I may eat too much. I know I didn't eat EXCESSIVE amounts but still...

    Gonna jump back onto the wagon and regain my composure. No point crying over spilled milk.

    I am gonna feel guilty about posting this, but I know relapse happens so I will post what I have found helps physical recovery after. BY NO MEANS FACILITATING PURGING (this is damage control, not damage prevention);
    Don't brush teeth for min 30 minutes as enamel on teeth is softened.
    Don't drink for min of hour. It will dilute any electrolytes in you stomach.
    Don't vomit again! Your stomach is flushing electrolytes into your stomach to replace the sodium. Vomiting again will get rid of the electrolytes which is WORSE than the initial purge.
    Eat potassium rich foods soon after. Replaces the potassium lost overall, reducing risk of heart failure.
    That was the best thing I've read in a while, you are such an inspiration!
 
 
 
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