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    Not sure whether this is the right place to post:

    For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.

    I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick

    I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.

    Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.

    Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me

    Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.

    My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.

    Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.

    I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/

    Any help would be much appreciated.
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    (Original post by TheHaylio)
    Not sure whether this is the right place to post:

    For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.

    I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick

    I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.

    Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.

    Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me

    Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.

    My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.

    Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.

    I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/

    Any help would be much appreciated.

    This sounds to me like the bipolar, confusing beginning phase of what may turn into a restrictive or binge-purge disorder. You should really bring this up with your GP, as the mental obsession with food is already there; habitual eating (your breakfast for example) is already there; you are already binging.

    Please, please, PLEASE tell your current GP.


    Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    This sounds to me like the bipolar, confusing beginning phase of what may turn into a restrictive or binge-purge disorder. You should really bring this up with your GP, as the mental obsession with food is already there; habitual eating (your breakfast for example) is already there; you are already binging.

    Please, please, PLEASE tell your current GP.


    Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
    Thank you very much for your reply - i genuinely don't think it's that serious though... the breakfast things is mainly for speed plus thats what my mum puts out for me.

    I don't really want to go to the GP as it is literally next door to my house etc, i know they have to be confidential - i just don't feel confident going to them. They will probably just send me to counselling and i dont want to go through that again as i didn't find it of any help - it just brought problems to the surface i didn't even realise i had!

    Thanks again for the reply
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)


    Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
    Quoted for truths.
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    (Original post by TheHaylio)
    Not sure whether this is the right place to post:

    For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.

    I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick

    I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.

    Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.

    Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me

    Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.

    My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.

    Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.

    I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/

    Any help would be much appreciated.
    You're right to be concerned and to post here; if you start making yourself vomit after eating regularly, please please see your GP. Also you really need to lift your self-esteem; you need a big big hug and must give yourself a break. I'm sure you're seeing things no one else does, remember nobody is 100% happy with their bodies and you should take some time out to spoil yourself and look after YOU I do hope you feel better soon.
    • #50
    #50

    Day three of being b/p free It's so weird, why do I not even have the urge to do it, why is it so easy? Makes me worried that it won't last for long...

    ...Why am I so pessimistic?
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    :sad: I just went to the doctor for a very personal but worrying problem which I'll spoiler.
    Spoiler:
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    I'm passing blood through my lady parts when trying to go for a number 2. :sad: He thinks it's constipation but this happens when I'm "flowing" well anyway. :/


    What did he prescribe me? Laxatives. Laxatives to someone who has worked so hard for years to beat laxative abuse. I felt really upset and chucked away my prescription. I've been strongly advised to register with another GP. Oh gosh I don't know what to do. :cry:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Day three of being b/p free It's so weird, why do I not even have the urge to do it, why is it so easy? Makes me worried that it won't last for long...

    ...Why am I so pessimistic?
    It's a very natural concern to have.

    But the other way of looking at it is that it's a good thing it's so easy at the moment. It might not always be that easy, you'll probably struggle with it at times, but when you get those times you can look back and know that it was easy sometimes and that you got through those days without the urge to do it, so you know the bad times will pass when you do get them.

    (Original post by briesandwich)
    :sad: I just went to the doctor for a very personal but worrying problem which I'll spoiler.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I'm passing blood through my lady parts when trying to go for a number 2. :sad: He thinks it's constipation but this happens when I'm "flowing" well anyway. :/


    What did he prescribe me? Laxatives. Laxatives to someone who has worked so hard for years to beat laxative abuse. I felt really upset and chucked away my prescription. I've been strongly advised to register with another GP. Oh gosh I don't know what to do. :cry:
    :hugs:

    Definitely go and speak to another GP if you can.

    And on the positive, well done for working so hard to beat the laxative abuse. And well done for recognising that it wouldn't be a good idea for you to take them if it makes you struggle again.

    Is there another doctor there you'd be comfortable speaking to? xx
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    (Original post by TheHaylio)
    Not sure whether this is the right place to post:

    For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.

    I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick

    I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.

    Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.

    Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me

    Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.

    My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.

    Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.

    I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/

    Any help would be much appreciated.
    I think this thread is a good place to be but would like to point out that eating an entire Choc orange is custom around Christmas, don't feel too bad about it.
    Those things are designed to be eaten in one sitting
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    (Original post by Lily Academia)
    I think this thread is a good place to be but would like to point out that eating an entire Choc orange is custom around Christmas, don't feel too bad about it.
    Those things are designed to be eaten in one sitting
    One Christmas, I ate an entire box of those chocolate orange variety segments! They're heavenly.. I long for that again - just eating because I like the taste of something. :^_^: No other reason.

    I want this Christmas to be different though.. For 4 years I have had unhappy Anorexic Christmas's and this year I want a happy one. I'm psyching myself up for it as well.. There are 365 days in a year and I've restricted my intake every single day. 1 day out of 365 where I relax around food and eat with my family will NOT make a difference at all! Everyone eats lovely food at Christmas and I should be no different. No one will judge me! No one really cares if I eat chocolate and turkey. (So long as it's not together...but why do I imagine that would be quite nice?)
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    (Original post by briesandwich)
    One Christmas, I ate an entire box of those chocolate orange variety segments! They're heavenly.. I long for that again - just eating because I like the taste of something. :^_^: No other reason.

    I want this Christmas to be different though.. For 4 years I have had unhappy Anorexic Christmas's and this year I want a happy one. I'm psyching myself up for it as well.. There are 365 days in a year and I've restricted my intake every single day. 1 day out of 365 where I relax around food and eat with my family will NOT make a difference at all! Everyone eats lovely food at Christmas and I should be no different. No one will judge me! No one really cares if I eat chocolate and turkey. (So long as it's not together...but why do I imagine that would be quite nice?)
    How big was the box of segments. If it was a tin, then you have hollow legs, srsly.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    How big was the box of segments. If it was a tin, then you have hollow legs, srsly.
    Nah, it was the box version - with the orange lid. :^_^:
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    (Original post by briesandwich)
    Nah, it was the box version - with the orange lid. :^_^:
    We've had one of those before. Anyone else find the smell of a box of roses at 9am make them feel really ill?
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    (Original post by briesandwich)
    One Christmas, I ate an entire box of those chocolate orange variety segments! They're heavenly.. I long for that again - just eating because I like the taste of something. :^_^: No other reason.

    I want this Christmas to be different though.. For 4 years I have had unhappy Anorexic Christmas's and this year I want a happy one. I'm psyching myself up for it as well.. There are 365 days in a year and I've restricted my intake every single day. 1 day out of 365 where I relax around food and eat with my family will NOT make a difference at all! Everyone eats lovely food at Christmas and I should be no different. No one will judge me! No one really cares if I eat chocolate and turkey. (So long as it's not together...but why do I imagine that would be quite nice?)
    There's actually a teacher in my old college who ordered chocolate sauce on top of his roast beef every lunchtime. I'm intrigued!
    It's amazing how we let our EDs come before our own wants and needs so much. But really, Christmas is about you as much as anyone else. Nobody else has to earn their Christmas dinner over 365 days, so why should you? Why is there the need to earn at all, what makes us fundamentally inferior to the rest of humanity? Nothing. Hell, if it makes you happy, have chocolate and turkey together, all year round!
    I wish it were that simple for us all.
    Seriously though Brie, have a happy Christmas, a real Christmas just like everyone else. I've only suffered one mildly anorexic Christmas last year where I lost my appetite and worried about what was on the plate in a way I never used to (and I'm a little apprehensive about the upcoming holiday for the same reasons but much less so). To have to deal with 4 must be unbearable, and I'd like your next set of festive memories to be ones full of peace and joy. I don't think we've spoken before but having read some of your posts and this, you seem too nice a person to be suffering from something as hideous as this-not that anyone deserves the pain of an eating disorder or any mental health difficulties, but for someone like you to have to deal with something like this is plain unjust.
    And I hope you find a decent doc who actually gives some time and consideration into delicate matters.
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    We've had one of those before. Anyone else find the smell of a box of roses at 9am make them feel really ill?
    They always smell slightly molten the morning after, don't they?
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    (Original post by Riku)
    They always smell slightly molten the morning after, don't they?
    I remember the tin that was open in german smelt really,really strongly of sugar and chocolate to the extent its really not pleasant when you feel on edge and have just - basically- been called stupid by your teacher.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I remember the tin that was open in german smelt really,really strongly of sugar and chocolate to the extent its really not pleasant when you feel on edge and have just - basically- been called stupid by your teacher.
    Wow, that sounds like a nice way for them to wish you Happy Holidays :rolleyes: what was that about?
    I find the fudge/toffees are the worst. Mainly because they're the most caramelised and therefore my favourite
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Wow, that sounds like a nice way for them to wish you Happy Holidays :rolleyes: what was that about?
    I find the fudge/toffees are the worst. Mainly because they're the most caramelised and therefore my favourite
    got asked to translate a sentense which began 'Many foreigners...' i forgot the word for foreigners. i pulled a face, panicked. whispered to basically anyone listening wtf is foreigners? He mutters 'oh come on!' dunno whether he knew i heard. so yeah, considering the fact the past 3 weeks have been spent doing this topic, that was his way of calling me stupid.

    You know bad **** is goin to happen when your first thought on reflecting on this is, if I cant be good at german, i can always show you what I AM good at.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    got asked to translate a sentense which began 'Many foreigners...' i forgot the word for foreigners. i pulled a face, panicked. whispered to basically anyone listening wtf is foreigners? He mutters 'oh come on!' dunno whether he knew i heard. so yeah, considering the fact the past 3 weeks have been spent doing this topic, that was his way of calling me stupid.

    You know bad **** is goin to happen when your first thought on reflecting on this is, if I cant be good at german, i can always show you what I AM good at.
    Well you sure can...blow him away with Shalott, that is
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Well you sure can...blow him away with Shalott, that is
    hahaha. Actually got my fingers around the first 45 seconds of the track
 
 
 
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