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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Had one of those 'Yep I don't have an eating disorder it was all a bad dream. I don't need to loose weight and if I put some on, that's fine too' moments and ordered a chinese take-away (after having a normal breakfast and large lunch). Nearly finished when I felt a huge wave of anxiety and panic and basically felt like my life was over. Trying to reassure myself now. It's horrible because these binge days end up doing more harm to me than good as I then can't bring myself to eat for days and end up feeling so ill. I wish I had support
    Anon, ever heard of a normal person's "Friday night takeaway"? That's what you just had! Well done on becoming a normal person! If nothing else, take away from this that the scary stuff you're experiencing is NORMAL. XXX
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    Seems like most people here are dealing with anorexia nervosa.

    Any bulimiacs out there on a successful path to recovery?
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    Guys, has anyone seen/ spoken to Custard! recently?
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    She kinda left this forum for a while, I saw her a few times on caloriescount, but I think she's trying to disengage herself from this entire mindframe.
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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    She kinda left this forum for a while, I saw her a few times on caloriescount, but I think she's trying to disengage herself from this entire mindframe.
    i don't blame her. I hope she's kicking ass like Moss.
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by Riku)
    It's because gaining through plentiful eating and moderate exercise for fun is healthy and does you a world of good, whereas losing through eating barely anything and no exercise is very unhealthy and does yourself a whole lot of damage. And it's hard to believe this but they are probably right-this could be your set-point, especially if you're very active and therefore quite fit and healthy. Why would you want to change that? It's common for fitter people to be at the higher end of the BMI spectrum, but the lower the better is not quite how it works. The truth is the scale means nothing, it is how you feel, what you're letting yourself get out of life and who you are that matters.
    I know it's not that simple, I wish it could be. Trust that it will be one day. I'm thinking of you and others in the same predicament anywho.
    :hugs:
    If this is what my body is meant to be like, I don't want it any more. It's hideous. It's flabby and fat and disgusting. All it says to me is 'must work harder'.

    You know what's odd? When I'm at uni, on my own, I can go days without eating. The second I'm around my family, I eat anything they put in front of me. I saw my mum today and she said that she doesn't want me to lose any more weight. Why can't I see what they see?
    • #10
    #10

    I FOLLOWED MY MEAL PLAN FOR A WHOLE WEEK WITHOUT PURGING...YAYYYYYY

    its the first time ive not purged in 7 days for 2 years, I am soooo happy

    Sorry I wanted to share that, ive had such a nightmare with purging after every little thing. I was so tired of it, it was running and ruining my life. Im still not eating enough, but baby steps to start lead to big leaps later
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I FOLLOWED MY MEAL PLAN FOR A WHOLE WEEK WITHOUT PURGING...YAYYYYYY

    its the first time ive not purged in 7 days for 2 years, I am soooo happy

    Sorry I wanted to share that, ive had such a nightmare with purging after every little thing. I was so tired of it, it was running and ruining my life. Im still not eating enough, but baby steps to start lead to big leaps later
    YAY!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If this is what my body is meant to be like, I don't want it any more. It's hideous. It's flabby and fat and disgusting. All it says to me is 'must work harder'.

    You know what's odd? When I'm at uni, on my own, I can go days without eating. The second I'm around my family, I eat anything they put in front of me. I saw my mum today and she said that she doesn't want me to lose any more weight. Why can't I see what they see?
    Alright, we're both in need of a Zen moment here as I've just been triggered to f**k by my dinner too.
    Your body is only the vessel to carry your soul, your consciousness, however you want to look at it, through this world. What it is today is not what it was yesterday, nor what it will be tomorrow, nor in a year's time. The body is in constant flux and undergoing constant change just as is the presence inside that body-you. But we can't swap our bodies for another-we're given one at birth and it's ours to death. That makes it our responsibility to love it, protect it and nurture it as if it was our own child. But it also gives us the right to have enjoyment with it and make us, through it, do great and often powerful things.
    Unfortunately us folk with EDs can become consumed by a need to attain perfection in our bodies that's simply impossible. It was made that way, because perfection is only relative after all. And as I've side to many people and frequently have to to myself; perfection is so boring! Who wants to be a divine robot? If we were perfect we'd be lacking all those little quirks, habits and idiosyncrasies that separate us from all the other Jack and Jills. We humans have a tendency to rail out other figures and personalities of people we admire, yet not even notice our own unique beauty.
    x
    • #88
    #88

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If this is what my body is meant to be like, I don't want it any more. It's hideous. It's flabby and fat and disgusting. All it says to me is 'must work harder'.

    You know what's odd? When I'm at uni, on my own, I can go days without eating. The second I'm around my family, I eat anything they put in front of me. I saw my mum today and she said that she doesn't want me to lose any more weight. Why can't I see what they see?
    Same, though not to the extreme of days at a time...more like minimal. However I find that this term I have so much less energy and sleep more than at home, but I ended up gaining like 4lb over just two weeks of Christmas, and that was with intense cardio 6 times a week
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Guys, has anyone seen/ spoken to Custard! recently?
    (Original post by Antiaris)
    She kinda left this forum for a while, I saw her a few times on caloriescount, but I think she's trying to disengage herself from this entire mindframe.
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    i don't blame her. I hope she's kicking ass like Moss.
    Oh, I'm really touched!!! Thank you!
    I still visit TSR but not really this thread - just from time to time (like now). I'm still IP, been at maintenance (BMI 19-20) since mid-October. Plan is to stay here 3 more months and then move to a residential rehab place nearer home until I start UNI in October.

    I'm struggling quite a lot with my head - a lot of stuff has come up that I'm dealing with/trying to deal with. I've made a thread in this forum asking for advice if anyone has any, on managing flashbacks?

    Lots of love xxxxx
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    What does your meal plan look like anonymous? Can't quote you which is annoying as I am really interested!
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    (Original post by *custardcream)
    Oh, I'm really touched!!! Thank you!
    I still visit TSR but not really this thread - just from time to time (like now). I'm still IP, been at maintenance (BMI 19-20) since mid-October. Plan is to stay here 3 more months and then move to a residential rehab place nearer home until I start UNI in October.

    I'm struggling quite a lot with my head - a lot of stuff has come up that I'm dealing with/trying to deal with. I've made a thread in this forum asking for advice if anyone has any, on managing flashbacks?

    Lots of love xxxxx
    Sorry, accidental neg from being on my phone! You are doing amazingly, keep going! From a lurker
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    (Original post by *custardcream)
    Oh, I'm really touched!!! Thank you!
    I still visit TSR but not really this thread - just from time to time (like now). I'm still IP, been at maintenance (BMI 19-20) since mid-October. Plan is to stay here 3 more months and then move to a residential rehab place nearer home until I start UNI in October.

    I'm struggling quite a lot with my head - a lot of stuff has come up that I'm dealing with/trying to deal with. I've made a thread in this forum asking for advice if anyone has any, on managing flashbacks?

    Lots of love xxxxx
    -squeels- I MISS YOU. You can do this custard, do people at the 'fat farm' know?
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    Yo Custard! :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by cowsforsale)
    Seems like most people here are dealing with anorexia nervosa.

    Any bulimiacs out there on a successful path to recovery?
    I was diagnosed with anorexia years ago.. got through it and diagnosed again last year, but after seeing the doctor a bunch of times recently I've been diagnosed with bulimia. I don't really lose weight anymore (have recently but due to other health problems) right now I'm trying to overcome binging/purging and eat properly but it's very difficult. Gone from being absolutely starving to constantly eating so of course I feel terrible after I've binged :sad: It's really hard to eat properly, just can't seem to do it for very long. I had a massive binge last night, didn't bring it back up but now I feel utterly monsterous today :pinch:
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    Custard, it's wonderful to hear from you!! I'm so glad you're at maintenance level now at a low-but-at-least-not-dire BMI!

    I just want to extend my pride at how brave you've been at accepting and dealing with this evil ED, and that sentiment goes to the rest of you here.

    Regardless of what level we're at - whether we're just understanding and accepting we HAVE an ED, or if we're on the cusp of full recovery, we all need each other just as much.
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    (Original post by *custardcream)
    Oh, I'm really touched!!! Thank you!
    I still visit TSR but not really this thread - just from time to time (like now). I'm still IP, been at maintenance (BMI 19-20) since mid-October. Plan is to stay here 3 more months and then move to a residential rehab place nearer home until I start UNI in October.

    I'm struggling quite a lot with my head - a lot of stuff has come up that I'm dealing with/trying to deal with. I've made a thread in this forum asking for advice if anyone has any, on managing flashbacks?

    Lots of love xxxxx
    You're so inspirational, honestly. I don't post in this thread that much because I get quite reserved about it all, but you are brilliant and it's fantastic to hear you're at maintenance level, really genuinely happy for you

    Also I suffer from flashbacks, if you want to chat about it at any point I'm here I'm on medication for them myself, seems to be the only effective way of managing them for me. I know how horrifying they can be though :hugs:
    • #48
    #48

    I feel a binge coming on. I know it's self induced and it's my fault and I don't care to stop it.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Smoking and eating a **** load of crap is better than cutting myself right? :sad:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel a binge coming on. I know it's self induced and it's my fault and I don't care to stop it.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Smoking and eating a **** load of crap is better than cutting myself right? :sad:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    No, they're not. There is something far better though-accepting yourself as an amazing person and getting that silly notion that you've any reason to harm yourself out of your head.

    :hugs:
    ________
    OMG, I've just enjoyed a takeaway. Didn't quite think that was possible to ever happen. I thought I'd be able to eat them and accept the loss of progress, rationalise it's probably less detrimental to health than I make out, but actually savour and adore the meal? It's a sweet feeling, really.
    (Char-sui Duck, nomnom! I don't believe I've yet chosen crispy duck of my own free will so it's a cornerstone)

    That's another thing I like about recovery. You get to move, ever so slowly at first, out of the cave of restriction, obsession or ritualising and into what, to be honest, feels like a new world. Back out of boring and numbing routine into a realm of so many possibilities. Not just with food, there's lot of things I've done recently that I never dreamed of being able to do again, and some new experiences I've never had before on top.

    The other thing I've found that has helped is the right to say Yes and No to anything and anyone. If anything has stopped me feeling like I binge at mealtimes, it's the ability to leave some on the plate for another time without feeling like I'm committing a cardinal sin. I spent a hell of a lot of time asking "is it OK if I do this?", "do you mind if I do this?", terrified at the very notion that I choose something in case they disapprove. So I spent many hours and many nights trying to be Hitch and solve every friend's problem at the expense of my own. And I spent a lot of time saying Sorry to people for breathing in their presence, even strangers. In the end, I cracked.
    But now I'm trying something bizarre and asking, what do I want to do? Is this really something I'm comfortable doing? Can I afford to do it? Why do I need to be everyone's guardian angel or Agony Aunt?
    It's not rude and it doesn't make you a bad person if you turn an offer down. Nor does it make you greedy or selfish to say Yes to something. Anything. And again, that goes for anything in life.
    We're allowed to reach out, the choice is in our hands and always is. Life's ours for the taking.
 
 
 
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