Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
Turn on thread page Beta

Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Completely get you. I'm like that atm. Damn exams. Doesn't help we've a new chemistry teacher so I'm desperate for him to not think I'm completely stupid. Worried about uni interviews, german teacher basically humiliated me infront of the group before xmas. He could've called me a stupid ***** and i wouldn't have been much more offended. Yet now i'm getting praise because my speaking is getting better, I do NOT know where I stand with that man! Best friend has bought a new corset -
    Spoiler:
    Show
    in the smallest size you can get without it being custom made.
    and another friend I never see her eat.


    Good. Reading into things too much is bad. Equally bad is assuming everyones lying to you/ taking the piss.
    Turning to your eating disorder because you feel stressed or bad won't help. Maybe it'll take your mind away from the problem for a bit, but really it's replacing a problem with a problem and not solving the original one. Therefore you're left with 2 problems.

    I know that sometimes habits of friends can be really triggering but that's their lives not yours. If they don't want to eat that shouldn't stop you. Focus on yourself and what you can achieve, restricting isn't an achievement, being healthy is, doing well in an exam is, volunteering and helping people out is. Your life is worth so much more than worrying about eating.

    I'm not the best advice giver ever, I ramble a lot.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by squiff93)
    Turning to your eating disorder because you feel stressed or bad won't help. Maybe it'll take your mind away from the problem for a bit, but really it's replacing a problem with a problem and not solving the original one. Therefore you're left with 2 problems.

    I know that sometimes habits of friends can be really triggering but that's their lives not yours. If they don't want to eat that shouldn't stop you. Focus on yourself and what you can achieve, restricting isn't an achievement, being healthy is, doing well in an exam is, volunteering and helping people out is. Your life is worth so much more than worrying about eating.

    I'm not the best advice giver ever, I ramble a lot.
    rambly is good. means i dont have to think about stuff for a bit. My watched threads gives the impression that i'm genuinely mad. I'm going to bed before i end up stressing a redic amount about the translation I've done that genuinely doesnt make sense thats in for tomorrow. We're all prepared for 40 minutes of 'your translations were crap, you're going to fail A2 german.' when/ if we get them back.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    rambly is good. means i dont have to think about stuff for a bit. My watched threads gives the impression that i'm genuinely mad. I'm going to bed before i end up stressing a redic amount about the translation I've done that genuinely doesnt make sense thats in for tomorrow. We're all prepared for 40 minutes of 'your translations were crap, you're going to fail A2 german.' when/ if we get them back.
    Hopefully it'll be fine, you're probably in the same boat as everyone else, in that case you have no need to panic, everyone will be sitting the exam at the end of the year and I'm sure that it isn't the case that everyone will fail!

    Anyways Night Night x
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I posted in here a few weeks ago, although I didn't receive any replies. Things have got progressively worse since then, so here is my original post, just in case anyone is interested...

    (Original post by Luce-eeeee)
    I'm not quite ready to truly admit that I might have an eating disorder, although I have made progress in now being able to say to some people that I am receiving treatment for an eating disorder. To some of you, that may seem like a total contradiction, however, this has been an ongoing and overlooked 'issue' for such a large amount of time that coming to accept it, as I become more entangled in my 'problems', is most tricky. I am therefore making this post in an attempt to gain some acceptance over my problem.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    I am now in my eighth (or so) year with eating 'issues' and yet only sought proper help a month or so ago, and even then my hand was forced somewhat.

    Although it is now mostly a blur, several things happened in the year I turned 14: I got braces; I lost the best part of two stone in a couple of months; I began self harming; I stopped eating breakfast... and lunch.

    Unfortunately, now everything is most mixed in my memory, but retrospectively I can see that I fitted every criteria for a textbook diagnosis of anorexia. And still my medical parents allowed it to be blamed on a mixture of the troubles of having braces fitted and a growth spurt, in spite of the fact that my food intake was being heavily monitored by my school. The self harm they didn't take so lightly, and I was forced to the doctors and then handed over to the joys of CAMHS. Wahey.

    I remember years 9, 10 and 11 as three rather bleak years. Rather than focusing on my GCSE exams, I spent hours awake each night, ritually shredding my skin, weighing myself, planning meals, and on several occasions taking pathetic concoctions of prescription anti-depressants and OTC painkillers. Pathetic they may have been, but I still managed to gather a handful of overnight hospital stays, each making me feel even more pathetic and worthless than before, thus feeding this habitual cycle. Eventually, the line was drawn and I was admitted to an IP psychiatric ward for a week, just days before I turned 16. This was a horrendous experience, which I care not to recall at this moment, but one particular factor about this stay still fuels the aggression of my food problems. That is that after a few days, I confided in a nurse about some of my issues with food. She told me she would arrange to speak to a doctor about it. The next day I was discharged. Then CAMHS weren't bothered when I stopped turning up to counselling etc. I stopped taking my meds and decided I would play at being 'normal'.

    It worked. I still self harmed, but I told nobody, and as far as my family, as far as school... heck, even as far as I was concerned, I was 'fine'.
    But of course, I wasn't. I eventually stopped the self harm, with only one tiny relapse, but the eating and the feelings that go with it were still very much carried with me, even if on the surface I appeared much more healthy (as people continually reminded me.) Throughout sixth form and the first two years of university, the problems and habits were still there, and I would hasten to say that the feelings were even stronger than ever before, perhaps because I was daring to try and suppress them. I remained vegetarian, a decision I only made initially as a way to control my food intake, and I calorie counted, restricted at least once a week, obsessively watched cookery programmes, exercised extremely perfectionist tendencies... you get the picture... but I did enough 'normal' things to ward off comments.

    Forgive me for rallying through this 'story' so very quickly, but unfortunately, it has been carried with me for so long, that I haven't fully unpacked it in a while. I have just noticed also that I have mentioned very little about the emotions behind the symptoms. I'm sure that has some silly psychiatric significance. Ho hum.

    So now I'm in my third year of uni. It counts. And I've lost almost two stone in as many months. In fact, even my doctor was shocked at the 5kg I lost in the space of the Christmas break. Hmm.

    I'm restricting like mad, bruising like a peach, and obsessing about everything. I'm back on the prozac, I'm exercising daily, weighing myself multiple times daily. I weigh the same as I did at age 14... already almost at my lowest weight. And people are concerned. They are noticing.

    Then on the doctor's screen yesterday, I witnessed the words 'anorexia nervosa'.

    No. It is not true. I cannot accept it.
    I have my psychiatric assessment next week. We will see then.


    Wow. So I just summed up eight years of existence in 20 minutes. Impressive.

    Keep strong guys- I've been following this thread for a long time, and stand amazed at the courage you have all shown.

    Good luck in your recovery!!

    xxx
    Since then, I have had my assessment. I've been diagnosed with anorexia and had my medication doubled. I've been referred to the eating disorders unit, but am awaiting my appointment to be posted to me.

    My uni work has pretty much been stunted now, however, and at 12pm I am going in to speak to my tutor about taking a leave of absence. Does anyone have any experience of doing this? I'm pretty nervous. My usual reaction to these situations is to keep going until the end, but unfortunately my body is just refusing. I'm not sleeping properly and waking up all through the night, but then am left super tired in the day. What little concentration I do have left is just channeled back into burning calories/ thinking about food.

    Sorry to moan, I'm just a bit stuck :/
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Luce-eeeee)
    I posted in here a few weeks ago, although I didn't receive any replies. Things have got progressively worse since then, so here is my original post, just in case anyone is interested...



    Since then, I have had my assessment. I've been diagnosed with anorexia and had my medication doubled. I've been referred to the eating disorders unit, but am awaiting my appointment to be posted to me.

    My uni work has pretty much been stunted now, however, and at 12pm I am going in to speak to my tutor about taking a leave of absence. Does anyone have any experience of doing this? I'm pretty nervous. My usual reaction to these situations is to keep going until the end, but unfortunately my body is just refusing. I'm not sleeping properly and waking up all through the night, but then am left super tired in the day. What little concentration I do have left is just channeled back into burning calories/ thinking about food.

    Sorry to moan, I'm just a bit stuck :/
    Hey,
    Just read all of your story. My thoughts are with you.

    Your behaviour is very anorexic, sorry to say. Is the ED unit an in-patient or an out-patient one?

    Don't worry about talking to your tutor. They'll be fine with it. I had some other mitigating circumstances and my tutor was extremely understanding (although I didn't end up dropping out/leaving). It's only natural that your body will stop. Something has to give. There's just no way you can have an ED and do a degree, especially in your 3rd year. Lack of sleep is also quite common because you're just always thinking about food, calories and all those other food-related fears you have. You need to really try to get better before re-starting your degree. Feel free to message me if you need any help at all. x
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Luce-eeeee)
    I posted in here a few weeks ago, although I didn't receive any replies. Things have got progressively worse since then, so here is my original post, just in case anyone is interested...



    Since then, I have had my assessment. I've been diagnosed with anorexia and had my medication doubled. I've been referred to the eating disorders unit, but am awaiting my appointment to be posted to me.

    My uni work has pretty much been stunted now, however, and at 12pm I am going in to speak to my tutor about taking a leave of absence. Does anyone have any experience of doing this? I'm pretty nervous. My usual reaction to these situations is to keep going until the end, but unfortunately my body is just refusing. I'm not sleeping properly and waking up all through the night, but then am left super tired in the day. What little concentration I do have left is just channeled back into burning calories/ thinking about food.

    Sorry to moan, I'm just a bit stuck :/
    I really identify with this. :hugs: I've been thinking about taking a leave of absence too but I'm too scared to email my tutor. I hope it goes well.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by *custardcream)
    Oh, I'm really touched!!! Thank you!
    I still visit TSR but not really this thread - just from time to time (like now). I'm still IP, been at maintenance (BMI 19-20) since mid-October. Plan is to stay here 3 more months and then move to a residential rehab place nearer home until I start UNI in October.

    I'm struggling quite a lot with my head - a lot of stuff has come up that I'm dealing with/trying to deal with. I've made a thread in this forum asking for advice if anyone has any, on managing flashbacks?

    Lots of love xxxxx
    :jumphug:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by diamonddust)
    I really identify with this. :hugs: I've been thinking about taking a leave of absence too but I'm too scared to email my tutor. I hope it goes well.
    DD, does this mean you're not doing very well Ed wisey??
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    Just spent the whole weekend in bed with a chest/throat infection (yep, both are infected, I guess that smoking really isn't good for you) reading and I'm just really, really ready to fight this/get treatment. Honestly, this is the first time in my ED/mentally ill life that I've really wanted treatment. But I really don't see how I can continue with my first year of uni and tackle this at the same time. I DO NOT WANT TO BE A QUITTER, I DON'T WANT THIS TO RUIN MY EDUCATION. I just feel so lost, like I really am not enjoying my course, am so bored and despondent about the whole degree/uni but I don't want my family to see me give up. They think that starting uni has been so good for me when in reality it has bought all of my issues back to the front of my life. I just wish I could go and check myself into a hospital and just ignore the real world for a while but I know that I can't do that, I'm not sick enough. My BMI is stable and though I idealise the idea of suicide I know I would never actually attempt/ do it. I just feel like if my family knew I was still feeling this way (something that at my worst they blamed on a doctor prescribing sedatives to me at eleven, not any actual issue) they would just see it as me running away from life.
    Can somebody tell me in simple terms what I should/ can do? I have a GP appointment on friday (for health issues) and I really want to bring it up then but I just don't know what to say.
    OMG. I'm saying omg because this is EVERYTHING I've been thinking and going through. ****. :hugs:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    DD, does this mean you're not doing very well Ed wisey??
    Not really. I'm kind of in a 'I'm SICK of this ED and it's ruining my life and I really want to get better!' mindset but everything in my head is going crazy and I can't seem to manage to make any progress on my own. And also, I keep being triggered by people around me (like one of my friends told me I looked fine when I was crying after eating a waffle and I had a complete meltdown and... yeah) and managing uni AND my ED seems impossible right now. I'm finding it hard to deal with anything rationally. I don't think I'll leave though, my BMI is high and stable (at least when I get weighed) and I'm worried things will be even worse if I go home without anything to do. But... no, things aren't great right now. But I'm still here.

    I'm going to go out and grab something to eat now. I really am trying and I'm determined to be ok, it's just... hard.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Not really. I'm kind of in a 'I'm SICK of this ED and it's ruining my life and I really want to get better!' mindset but everything in my head is going crazy and I can't seem to manage to make any progress on my own. And also, I keep being triggered by people around me (like one of my friends told me I looked fine when I was crying after eating a waffle and I had a complete meltdown and... yeah) and managing uni AND my ED seems impossible right now. I'm finding it hard to deal with anything rationally. I don't think I'll leave though, my BMI is high and stable (at least when I get weighed) and I'm worried things will be even worse if I go home without anything to do. But... no, things aren't great right now. But I'm still here.

    I'm going to go out and grab something to eat now. I really am trying and I'm determined to be ok, it's just... hard.
    HUGGINGGGG. i know its not much but its the best i can do.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    well it's been a little while since i've posted on here. things have been better actually since christmas (bizarrely) but just for the last few days i've been starting to slip back into my old ways yet again. i've been eating so healthily, trying to get my five a day and so on, and i started thinking that even though i've put a bit of weight on i'd rather be healthy and happy than weigh a few pounds less and be miserable.

    i think the problem here though is that one of my uni friends is on a 'diet', she's spending a lot of time in the gym and obviously not eating that much. she collapsed last week because she 'forgot' to eat. i don't think she has an eating disorder as such, and she's obviously still at a healthy weight but i know better than to think she's okay because she looks okay. i have tried talking to her but we rarely get any time alone when we're not surrounded by boys that start rolling their eyes as soon as you start talking about your weight. we went out for dinner last week and i was the only one not eating (more because i'm trying to save money than because i'm trying to lose weight) and somebody said they were going to end up surrounded by anorexics. then the whole table started going 'yeah but you're TINY' (which is not actually true, and that's my logical self, not the ed talking). i wanted to burst into tears. i am tempted to tell this girl about my past in the hope that she might realise that she should value her health and that losing weight does not make you happier or make you feel better about yourself, but i'm worried about what will happen if i do. i suppose firstly i'm worried that she'll look at me and go 'well you're not skinny enough to be anorexic' but also that she might want to turn it into some kind of competition and lose more weight than me...which i know is ridiculous. i suppose i'm worried she'll be insulted because i am slimmer than her and i don't want her to think that even though i think i'm fat, i don't think she's fat. she has a beautiful body.

    i am also finding it incredibly triggering and right now i just want to go out and start running again and stop eating and lose all the weight i've gained. one of my male friends is an absolute gym obsessive, he dropped out of uni for a year last year from depression and i rather suspect that the reason he goes to the gym so much is kind of a distraction from the other issues in his life, in the same way as anorexia is not really about losing weight. he's always going on about how i should do more exercise and it makes me want to slap him round the face and tell him what would happen if i did.

    one of the things i'm enjoying most in life at the moment are my ballet classes but i'm getting worried i won't be able to keep them up because i'm not strong enough. i fainted in the middle of the lesson last week, in a room full of people, and it was so humiliating. there was not excuse either because i'd eaten plenty that day, i think it was just my blood pressure. in a few of the classes since i've gotten really dizzy and my vision starts to blur but i've managed to stay upright and carry on, i'm just so worried it's going to happen again because then people will start asking questions. there's a girl in my classes who i went to college with (we're now at the same uni) and she knows i had problems with fainting at college, although i don't think she knows why, and she was obviously worried about me. stupidly, i'm also worried that the other girls in the class will just think i can't hack the exercise.

    sorry for writing so much ridiculous stuff, i just really had to get it out! i want to tell all these new people in my life about my disorder because i feel like until they know about that they don't really know me properly, but i've wanted to tell people loads of times and can never really bring myself to do it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Flatmate is away for the weekend. Don't know what happened but in a moment of madness, I completely raided the cupboards and ate all her grub ! Finished off her pack of rich tea biscuits, fox chocolate cookies, 2 muller yogurts and 2 bananas !

    Felt absolutely awful afterwards especially after puking my guts out. Suppose I can take some solace in the fact that whilst doing some shopping today to compensate her, I decided not to buy a barrel of biscuits for myself (Utterly convinced myself that I would last night whilst spending about an hour on the tescos website looking at promotions). Still ended up buying muesli and dates though, which might be two of my triggers...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Ugh, I am NOT happy with the treatment team. For the assessment they just asked me to describe what I'd eat of a "normal" day. So I told them and it came out so bland and routine that they told me I'm just subjectively "bingeing" when I mildly overeat. I wish. Didn't hear from them until I rang them up yesterday, didn't think they were going to offer help and just be like my therapist putting it down to anxiety.
    Spoiler:
    Show

    So I think I've done the stupid "I'll show you, I'll hurt me" approach by making my ED as severe as possible or turning it into something worse. I'm an emotional eater, part of me's choosing to exploit that now. I mean, what eating disorder do you call it when your diet and habits are very healthy on the face of it because you know what's good for you and what's not, but then when something goes wrong you choose to actively eat as much crap in one go as you can?
    Like today, I was caught off-guard. Not a great sleep, had the 3-mile walk from Dad's which lets anxiety mess with my head and heart worries anyway, just wanted to get to bed and not think about food and nutrition. I thought I'd prepared for every eventuality once I got home and how to avoid having any unwanted random snacks in the kitchen, any triggers etc., just breakfast snack lunch snack dinner snack bed. (Not trying to cut out all treats and go back to orthorexia, but I do want to stop crying or freaking out over the Starbucks muffin. I'm just eating cake for the sake of it now, not enjoying it. Also feeling the sugar-high or something similar after buying too many desserts which I wasn't eating other than to fill a void, and the world feels lfifufffsadsff weird) .
    But I hadn't prepared for there being no bread! So rather than doing the sensible thing and just going out to buy a loaf, I've just ate half a quiche, a can of beans, a random chicken tikka mayo wrap, some more randomly selected sweets to chew my frustration out on, picked pieces out of my sis' pasta...
    Alright, maybe not all that much to eat on the face of things, but it's terrifying: the food is there then it's gone, I don't even register feeling full or it passing into my stomach-more importantly, I'm punishing myself over nothing. And this isn't a one-off, I'm gonna have to show them my food diary to make a point. I want the treatment team to understand that I'm really, really scared by what I'm doing, my behaviours are a blink-and-you-miss-it blur even if they don't think it's a problem. It sounds horrible but I don't like the fact people are saying there's nothing wrong with me, I don't want to be ill but I can't lie that I'm well either...
    And the picking thing's disgusting. I'm basically stealing other's food nibble by nibble.

    Sorry I can't help anyone else out atm. Really quite concerned. Not sure whether if it's even safe for me to be at the gym if I'm going to be so self-destructive.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Riku)
    Ugh, I am NOT happy with the treatment team. For the assessment they just asked me to describe what I'd eat of a "normal" day. So I told them and it came out so bland and routine that they told me I'm just subjectively "bingeing" when I mildly overeat. I wish. Didn't hear from them until I rang them up yesterday, didn't think they were going to offer help and just be like my therapist putting it down to anxiety.
    Spoiler:
    Show

    So I think I've done the stupid "I'll show you, I'll hurt me" approach by making my ED as severe as possible or turning it into something worse. I'm an emotional eater, part of me's choosing to exploit that now. I mean, what eating disorder do you call it when your diet and habits are very healthy on the face of it because you know what's good for you and what's not, but then when something goes wrong you choose to actively eat as much crap in one go as you can?
    Like today, I was caught off-guard. Not a great sleep, had the 3-mile walk from Dad's which lets anxiety mess with my head and heart worries anyway, just wanted to get to bed and not think about food and nutrition. I thought I'd prepared for every eventuality once I got home and how to avoid having any unwanted random snacks in the kitchen, any triggers etc., just breakfast snack lunch snack dinner snack bed. (Not trying to cut out all treats and go back to orthorexia, but I do want to stop crying or freaking out over the Starbucks muffin. I'm just eating cake for the sake of it now, not enjoying it. Also feeling the sugar-high or something similar after buying too many desserts which I wasn't eating other than to fill a void, and the world feels lfifufffsadsff weird) .
    But I hadn't prepared for there being no bread! So rather than doing the sensible thing and just going out to buy a loaf, I've just ate half a quiche, a can of beans, a random chicken tikka mayo wrap, some more randomly selected sweets to chew my frustration out on, picked pieces out of my sis' pasta...
    Alright, maybe not all that much to eat on the face of things, but it's terrifying: the food is there then it's gone, I don't even register feeling full or it passing into my stomach-more importantly, I'm punishing myself over nothing. And this isn't a one-off, I'm gonna have to show them my food diary to make a point. I want the treatment team to understand that I'm really, really scared by what I'm doing, my behaviours are a blink-and-you-miss-it blur even if they don't think it's a problem. It sounds horrible but I don't like the fact people are saying there's nothing wrong with me, I don't want to be ill but I can't lie that I'm well either...
    And the picking thing's disgusting. I'm basically stealing other's food nibble by nibble.

    Sorry I can't help anyone else out atm. Really quite concerned. Not sure whether if it's even safe for me to be at the gym if I'm going to be so self-destructive.
    Please try to stay healthy, Riku. You should be able to persuade them to take you seriously without having to destroy yourself first...
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by Riku)
    Ugh, I am NOT happy with the treatment team. For the assessment they just asked me to describe what I'd eat of a "normal" day. So I told them and it came out so bland and routine that they told me I'm just subjectively "bingeing" when I mildly overeat. I wish. Didn't hear from them until I rang them up yesterday, didn't think they were going to offer help and just be like my therapist putting it down to anxiety.
    Spoiler:
    Show

    So I think I've done the stupid "I'll show you, I'll hurt me" approach by making my ED as severe as possible or turning it into something worse. I'm an emotional eater, part of me's choosing to exploit that now. I mean, what eating disorder do you call it when your diet and habits are very healthy on the face of it because you know what's good for you and what's not, but then when something goes wrong you choose to actively eat as much crap in one go as you can?
    Like today, I was caught off-guard. Not a great sleep, had the 3-mile walk from Dad's which lets anxiety mess with my head and heart worries anyway, just wanted to get to bed and not think about food and nutrition. I thought I'd prepared for every eventuality once I got home and how to avoid having any unwanted random snacks in the kitchen, any triggers etc., just breakfast snack lunch snack dinner snack bed. (Not trying to cut out all treats and go back to orthorexia, but I do want to stop crying or freaking out over the Starbucks muffin. I'm just eating cake for the sake of it now, not enjoying it. Also feeling the sugar-high or something similar after buying too many desserts which I wasn't eating other than to fill a void, and the world feels lfifufffsadsff weird) .
    But I hadn't prepared for there being no bread! So rather than doing the sensible thing and just going out to buy a loaf, I've just ate half a quiche, a can of beans, a random chicken tikka mayo wrap, some more randomly selected sweets to chew my frustration out on, picked pieces out of my sis' pasta...
    Alright, maybe not all that much to eat on the face of things, but it's terrifying: the food is there then it's gone, I don't even register feeling full or it passing into my stomach-more importantly, I'm punishing myself over nothing. And this isn't a one-off, I'm gonna have to show them my food diary to make a point. I want the treatment team to understand that I'm really, really scared by what I'm doing, my behaviours are a blink-and-you-miss-it blur even if they don't think it's a problem. It sounds horrible but I don't like the fact people are saying there's nothing wrong with me, I don't want to be ill but I can't lie that I'm well either...
    And the picking thing's disgusting. I'm basically stealing other's food nibble by nibble.

    Sorry I can't help anyone else out atm. Really quite concerned. Not sure whether if it's even safe for me to be at the gym if I'm going to be so self-destructive.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Orthorexia crossed with bulimia maybe? :hugs: Please take care. You've been so much help to me I couldn't bare it if you ended up hurt.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cowsforsale)
    Flatmate is away for the weekend. Don't know what happened but in a moment of madness, I completely raided the cupboards and ate all her grub ! Finished off her pack of rich tea biscuits, fox chocolate cookies, 2 muller yogurts and 2 bananas !

    Felt absolutely awful afterwards especially after puking my guts out. Suppose I can take some solace in the fact that whilst doing some shopping today to compensate her, I decided not to buy a barrel of biscuits for myself (Utterly convinced myself that I would last night whilst spending about an hour on the tescos website looking at promotions). Still ended up buying muesli and dates though, which might be two of my triggers...
    Just devoured the biscuits and yogurts which I deliberately bought to recompensate her. God I feel out of control, have already purged about six - seven times tonight . Should empty the bin as my sick is swimming in it but it's freezing outside ! I'm feeling erratic and my teeth have that rotting taste!!:cry2:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I realised today that it is now over five years since this damn thing began. I'm twenty years old. That's a quarter of my life.
    • #48
    #48

    Sometimes I feel like there's a switch in my brain that says 'Eat'... and it's permanently set to on >.<
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    To those in turmoil... remember why it is we eat in the first place! We eat for energy, for sustenance, to LIVE! anything beyond that and it's simply routine extra credits!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 31, 2015
Poll
“Yanny” or “Laurel”

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.