Turn on thread page Beta

Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    My dads said something like that when I went to the doctors when I was 16 for my boosters. After your 16th birthday they weigh and measure you. Getting on to the scales 'One at a time please', he says. I could have died there and then tbqh.

    The thoughts are coming back again. Funsies.
    He didn't know about your ED then, did he?
    UGH.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    He didn't know about your ED then, did he?
    UGH.
    He found my diary a few weeks before hand, so he WOULD have known.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    He found my diary a few weeks before hand, so he WOULD have known.
    :hugs: That's terrible. What is it with parents not realising that what they say to you effects you? How can they not realise that fat jokes+severe body image issues=not at all good.

    My sister's therapist asked if she had a history of EDs (she's underweight but doesn't have an ED) so now my dad jokes about his bulimic daughter. Uh hi there dad, remember me? That daughter who was nearly hospitalised? The one who tried to ****ing kill herself? NICE.

    (My parents have always maintained that all of the doctors I saw were overreacting and I've never had any MH problems, just a bad reaction to sedatives. 'cause they couldn't possibly have a mentally-ill daughter, could they?)
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    :hugs: That's terrible. What is it with parents not realising that what they say to you effects you? How can they not realise that fat jokes+severe body image issues=not at all good.

    My sister's therapist asked if she had a history of EDs (she's underweight but doesn't have an ED) so now my dad jokes about his bulimic daughter. Uh hi there dad, remember me? That daughter who was nearly hospitalised? The one who tried to ****ing kill herself? NICE.

    (My parents have always maintained that all of the doctors I saw were overreacting and I've never had any MH problems, just a bad reaction to sedatives. 'cause they couldn't possibly have a mentally-ill daughter, could they?)
    my sister finds it hilarious to offer me something she knows has palm oil in, then after I've eaten it, go 'That's got palm oil in, You've killed an orangutang!'
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    my sister finds it hilarious to offer me something she knows has palm oil in, then after I've eaten it, go 'That's got palm oil in, You've killed an orangutang!'
    Why are people so ****ing insensitive?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    Why are people so ****ing insensitive?
    because people suck. that's why. Some of the most insensitive things people have said to me have been from 'friends' or teachers. Just before xmas I had this said to me by my german teacher 'Well of course its going to be rubbish, you've written it'. My most recent report basically says as long as I put the revision in and work on accuracy, I'll get my predicted grade. And then people wonder why idk where i stand with the guy!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I hope you dont mind me posting on here - im not a sufferer myself and as such i really dont have much (any) advice for you i just wanted to say thank you, to all of you for opening my eyes.
    I guess i was one of those people who did have misconceptions about Anorexia Nervosa, and i did think that i knew what it was (i studied it in psychology A-Level just a few months ago, but that seems like a whole different disorder). i will admit i did think that anorexia began from a desire to "look good" that spiralled out of control for those individuals, in essence a diet gone bad.

    but for you guys it seems so so removed from how you looked, it seems to be more about having something you can control? This thread has really inspired me, to gain an insight into your minds in a small sense, and it has made me really realise.. well i dont know what but i feel different xD
    However you have suffered, its really opened my eyes and i feel so inspired by your stories, although i havent myself been affected by an eating disorder. You really are in an inspiration with your towers of strength.

    so thank you again, and i wish you all the very very best in your quest for health. Good luck and well done for coming as far as you have.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    because people suck. that's why. Some of the most insensitive things people have said to me have been from 'friends' or teachers. Just before xmas I had this said to me by my german teacher 'Well of course its going to be rubbish, you've written it'. My most recent report basically says as long as I put the revision in and work on accuracy, I'll get my predicted grade. And then people wonder why idk where i stand with the guy!
    I don't understand if this is some people's idea of humour.... :mad:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    I don't understand if this is some people's idea of humour.... :mad:
    mm. Doesn't help when I can't recognise sarcasm at the best of times.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i just thought id post to say it does get better
    i had various ED's from 11 to 17 and i finally feel recovered now
    its been hard,a nd it still is sometimes, im not going to lie, but its such a weight off my shoulders not having to worry constantly

    the worst comments for me are 'youre fat' and 'you can never recover from an eatng disorder' the las one is bad for me when people who havnt had one say it, it just gives me no hope

    and if anyone ever needs support, im here for you
    xx
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    mm. Doesn't help when I can't recognise sarcasm at the best of times.
    Gonna be blunt because that's what I'm like with things like this, do you have an ASD?

    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I'm making lists of ideas/ tables for the vor und nachteile of TV, etc. Wort für Wort has become bedtime reading. I'm trying to crack the passive and reported speech. I'm halfway through an AS essay for sir. Half of me thinks I must be doing well in my A2 speaking practice that I've had for sir, because he got the 'how to stretch and challenge' booklet from AQA out last time. Yet the other half of me thinks I'm not doing enough revision - even though I started the day after results day!- that my speaking isnt good enough, I dont go into enough detail, word order is messed up and that I'm eating far too much of everything. Even though sir says that if I repeat my performance in the A2 I should come out with a very good grade and if I have this sort of fluency in my AS resit, I'll get an A stood on my head.


    E - atleast you're honest with her. Could be worse, you could be telling her you've not cut since last time and the last time you ate was this morning and you had toast and jam and a cup of tea, and then your friend came round and she had some dolly mix and you had a few. When that isnt the case.

    The sheer idea of going to uni terrorfies me. I'm not even THAT good at Chemistry, as Magdalena likes to remind me. 'Well you SHOULD know the answer, you are going to study it at uni!' I'm probably going to get put with a bunch of people who turn into absolute ********s/ *****es when they're drunk.
    Wow, you're doing loads! You're going to ace it. Stood on your head, doing backflips, everything
    Do you comfort eat?
    That's true. She's just another person that I let down though. Bought some new shorts today but am going to have to wear opaque tights with them though because my cuts on my thighs are too deep and too orderly to pass off as anything else.
    You ARE good! You've got all these offers to study it so you must be doing something right! I am in awe of you, I still don't know how I passed GCSE chemistry And you never know - I bet everyone else is worrying the same and then will turn out to be nice like you.

    (Original post by Riku)
    Long post, just a warning.
    Etoile, about the therapist-agree with Toto. You'd be surprised what they're digging at over weeks or months of seemingly silly questions.
    This is what basically has happened to me in therapy, sorry for the digression. I'll spoiler in case this can be taken the wrong way.
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Throughout my CBT I'd gone from denial that my heart was OK, to anger that my parents were in my ****ed-up mind deliberately trying to prevent me from reaching my "goal", to outrage and utter disbelief that in the dietician's opinion it might be my anxiety causing continuous weight loss rather than how much I ate, to shame that I managed to portray my mum as an absolute monster because I couldn’t deal with reality when she was trying to make the most of a pretty crappy scenario, to a final acceptance that I don't have an eating disorder -but my anxiety is causing such frustration and moments of depression that release a cyclic pattern of emotional eating and I'm at risk on a mental level. Physically I can't currently be categorised on either side of the spectrum, or even EDNOS. Now with my second discharge, it's emerged that I'm not really gaining because I've somehow gone full-circle and become a daily comfort-eater. The scary thing for me to understand is how I can be eating what now feels so little and yet is actually enough. Why do I rarely feel hungry on three not exactly enormous meals a day? How come a sandwich actually does keep me going for 5 hours? Why do I crave that hunger or the “full feeling”?
    And the primary reason for this is, it's emerged, that I want to be ill. In some form or I don't, I really don't, but to not be is absolutely terrifying. It means growing up and being accountable for my own actions and behaviour rather than having some legitimate medical reason for hiding away or having a reckless moment. It makes sense when put in perspective; I've clung to Dyspraxia as a reason not to do things, I sure as hell use my anxiety and low moments to try and avoid awkward or unpleasant situations, so why not have the heart problems and ED on top? That way I could forget about the my multiple other real anxieties like studies, relationships, feeling like I live in a cave because I don’t have a clue what’s going on in the world, finances, pressure at work…everything, and devote it all to being, well, on the brink of death.
    Not that I ever, EVER wanted an eating disorder. One of my best friends was anorexic and even from seeing at a distance (he isolated himself for a year, no contact) I could tell it was destroying him. Fortunately he has made a full recovery, and I feel CBT not only changed his outlook but entire personality. I would not want to put myself or anyone I love through such an ordeal. But I convinced myself so well I was dying I didn’t even know I was lying and well all the time. I don’t yet quite know, to be certain. Head hasn’t really caught up with my body.
    TRIGGER And yet whenever I have to reach for the panic button and eat mindlessly-or, you know, have a sweet because I actually feel like it-a nagging voice in my head says I don't have the "willpower" to have an ED-in itself a disordered though, I know. A chocolate bar a day or similar suddenly seems grossly excessive (I think I've read up too much stuff about sugar cannibalising the muscles, really need someone to help me with this). I would love to get rid of that lying god-damn demon once and for all, because until then food will forever be laughing at me. It's not even about the scale anymore.
    The irony is of course that once upon a time I was probably far healthier both physically and emotionally naturally, without trying, and with plenty of room for treats, not punishments. I don’t think the old me would force himself to go to the gym the same day he binge. I don’t think the old me would force himself to go to the gym full-stop. (Actually he just went. I go less now because I try to go more. QED.)
    It's been a hard, hard eighteen months. I don't entirely remember a lot of it, but it's changed the way I think for good. Clearly there's still a lot to work on-I've been cured of the immediate risks, but now have to put that in practice and change my relationship with food, self and others. In my case though, it means I actually can't talk to anyone except my counsellor about things, because I start seeking reassurance to a question I already know the answer to from friends who can't possibly help, and part of the problem is feeling dependent on others. [Technically I'm not sure I should even be posting on here anymore...as I say, it's terrifying] Basically I've been told if I want to break the cycle and ever stop BEING ill, I'm going to have to stop thinking of my life as one with an illness-which means focussing my stress on real problems rather than those constructed in my own mind.
    It also means not really focussing on stress much at all if it can be helped, and having a laugh a little more often. Things get easier once we stop striving to solve every mystery thrown our way see life for the weird and unexplainably amazing thing it is, so right now I’m searching for the New Sound to come at me like a wet flannel (Mighty Boosh, I hate you and that’s why I love you.)
    Of course, the situation is probably pretty different for yourself-in no way am I meaning to belittle it,! I’m speaking from a healthy weight, professionally approved calorific intake and activity level. I still urge you to carry on doing whatever is your best course of action for your health and wellbeing.
    Main point is, therapy will be hard. It is hard. It has to be hard. You're being told to re-evaluate the way you've perceived and see life, that is incredibly threatening. But in time, with the right people and willingness to go in with an open mind, you’ll come to see they had a point. Friends and family too, but I think in a different way. Let them know you’re suffering , talk to them about things. But at the same time, they might not always even know how to help and you need to try and forgive them for this.
    In any case, you cannot let this dominate your whole life and consume you. It won’t always be this way!
    Riku, over and out. x
    :console: :console: I admire you for being so strong
    And thank you. It's really really hard to see hope most of the time, pessimistic as it sounds. Ana's taken over my whole brain and won't let me escape. But screw her :lol:

    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    :hugs: That's terrible. What is it with parents not realising that what they say to you effects you? How can they not realise that fat jokes+severe body image issues=not at all good.

    My sister's therapist asked if she had a history of EDs (she's underweight but doesn't have an ED) so now my dad jokes about his bulimic daughter. Uh hi there dad, remember me? That daughter who was nearly hospitalised? The one who tried to ****ing kill herself? NICE.

    (My parents have always maintained that all of the doctors I saw were overreacting and I've never had any MH problems, just a bad reaction to sedatives. 'cause they couldn't possibly have a mentally-ill daughter, could they?)
    :console: :console:
    And RE the bold - now where have I seen this before..? :rolleyes:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Etoile)
    Gonna be blunt because that's what I'm like with things like this, do you have an ASD?



    Wow, you're doing loads! You're going to ace it. Stood on your head, doing backflips, everything
    Do you comfort eat?
    That's true. She's just another person that I let down though. Bought some new shorts today but am going to have to wear opaque tights with them though because my cuts on my thighs are too deep and too orderly to pass off as anything else.
    You ARE good! You've got all these offers to study it so you must be doing something right! I am in awe of you, I still don't know how I passed GCSE chemistry And you never know - I bet everyone else is worrying the same and then will turn out to be nice like you.
    I'm not diagnosed with ASD, wouldnt be surprised if I have it tbqh. Can't deal with change very well, don't get sarcasm at all. I swear I've read somewhere that autism tends to manifest itself as an ED in girls.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I'm not diagnosed with ASD, wouldnt be surprised if I have it tbqh. Can't deal with change very well, don't get sarcasm at all. I swear I've read somewhere that autism tends to manifest itself as an ED in girls.
    :console:
    Mmm I've read that too. Makes sense with regards to strictly following rules and stuff.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Etoile)
    :console:
    Mmm I've read that too. Makes sense with regards to strictly following rules and stuff.
    it does. probably explains why i get a bit obsessive over german. It has rules. we like rules.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    it does. probably explains why i get a bit obsessive over german. It has rules. we like rules.
    We like rules indeed. When I was off a couple of weeks ago, my teacher asked my friend if I was in and my friend said no. My teacher's reply? "That's a shame, this is her favourite type of lesson!".... it was a whole lesson of grammar :lol:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Etoile)
    We like rules indeed. When I was off a couple of weeks ago, my teacher asked my friend if I was in and my friend said no. My teacher's reply? "That's a shame, this is her favourite type of lesson!".... it was a whole lesson of grammar :lol:
    aww. I like the grammar when it makes sense, just not when it doesn't. I'd probably be missed during a discussion lesson, partially because they all use me as a dictionary, and because I'm the only one able to give a scientists p.o.v to the current topic.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Etoile)
    We like rules indeed. When I was off a couple of weeks ago, my teacher asked my friend if I was in and my friend said no. My teacher's reply? "That's a shame, this is her favourite type of lesson!".... it was a whole lesson of grammar :lol:
    I effing love grammar. I'm the Grammar Queen. Grammar rules. Best type of lesson, I agree. Whenever my Italian teacher is like 'oh, we're doing a new tense and all the irregulars today' I'm just like 'WIN!'. x
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    I effing love grammar. I'm the Grammar Queen. Grammar rules. Best type of lesson, I agree. Whenever my Italian teacher is like 'oh, we're doing a new tense and all the irregulars today' I'm just like 'WIN!'. x
    I think i need to change my thinking about grammar. I do wish my german teacher would make his bloody mind up, I've gone from ,die Vokabeln Prinzessin', to begging for my predicted to go up to a B, to him telling me this morning that it's not too far fetched that I'd come out of A level with an A!
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    I effing love grammar. I'm the Grammar Queen. Grammar rules. Best type of lesson, I agree. Whenever my Italian teacher is like 'oh, we're doing a new tense and all the irregulars today' I'm just like 'WIN!'. x
    You sound like me! :lol: I ended up having to explain the concept of piacere and indirect objects to my class the other week because they didn't get it :facepalm2: Italian does seem to have a lot of tenses!

    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    aww. I like the grammar when it makes sense, just not when it doesn't. I'd probably be missed during a discussion lesson, partially because they all use me as a dictionary, and because I'm the only one able to give a scientists p.o.v to the current topic.
    It makes sense because it has many rules and therefore is good :yy: Although you're better off, because knowing lots of vocab and topical stuff is far better than knowing obscure pieces of grammar
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Etoile)
    You sound like me! :lol: I ended up having to explain the concept of piacere and indirect objects to my class the other week because they didn't get it :facepalm2: Italian does seem to have a lot of tenses!



    It makes sense because it has many rules and therefore is good :yy: Although you're better off, because knowing lots of vocab and topical stuff is far better than knowing obscure pieces of grammar
    But it's pointless knowing ****tonnes of vocab, when I've not much more grammar than the GCSE stuff to use it with!!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 31, 2015
The home of Results and Clearing

3,731

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
Will you be tempted to trade up and get out of your firm offer on results day?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.