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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    This is all very touching to read; I don't have anorexia but I've watched my sister battle through it for almost 5 years. So I want to give my perspective as a family member of someone suffering from anorexia and perhaps it may help some of you see how it is from where we are.

    I remember the day exactly; me and my sister are actually half sisters so I live with my mum and she lives with hers but regardless we were pretty close to growing up. I saw her everyday so I can honestly say I never noticed any weight change in her - people wonder how this is possible, of course you can tell when your own sister looks overly thin but I honestly hadn't noticed. The first indication I ever got was back in 2009 when we were sitting down for a meal and she says she isn't hungry at which point my dad (the ******* that he is) started having a go to her at which point she became very defensive and overly worked up. Most people would just try and eat at least 3/4 of the meal but she refused to eat any of it. After the argument had blown over things resumed (as i saw it) to normal. Then I noticed she wasn't at school for the whole week but I presumed she had a cold or something similar. Then when I was walking home from school my dad pulls up and tells me is needs to talk to me and I immediately could tell it was about my sister.

    A long story short he told me she had been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa by our local GP when her mum had taken her to the Dr's because she knew something was the matter. I knew what the condition was but spent hours on Google trying to find out everything I could. She was later put into an institute that deals with anorexia which was about 30 minutes from our houses. I'd visit her as often as possible - but it was so hard. It's like as soon as she had been diagnosed - I saw it. I saw how pale and fragile she was, I realised why she had to wear so many layers of clothing and I felt disgusted at myself. I blamed myself; "I should have done this, why didn't I do that" etc. It would take all the strength I had not to break down in front of her (Bearing in mind at the time I was only in year 8 and she was my older sister). I never knew what to say to her as I was so frightened of offending her some way.

    I began cutting myself as a form of trying to cope. My sister was the one with the real troubles but whilst she was in the institute at least she was protected from the arguments that occurred between our dad, her mum and me. I was only maybe 13, I couldn't deal with constant tension and bitterness that I was subjected to. I tried to keep strong for her, I was so proud of the fact that not once did I let her see me cry - I never wanted her to think that this was any of her fault.

    Her health began to decline and so they would enforce stricter rules on her and which point she ran away from the institute. She somehow managed to get out of an unlocked door and was later found by the police 20 miles from home.

    Our school was completely useless at any sort of support. I'd break down in lessons and teachers wouldn't ask why, they would just tell me to go outside. I literally felt as thought I was on my own but I felt so selfish thinking this. There's my sister; starving to death - almost dying twice (heart attacks) and I was only thinking about how I felt.

    The worst time was when she got so bad that she was referred to another institute which was 3 hours drive away because she had go so bad and it was apparently one of the best clinics in the country. At that point I would only get to see her once a week (we would drive down every sunday) and it was at that point she was at her lowest weight and almost died for the 3rd time.

    I don't want to go into anymore details apart from the fact through the period of time when my sister was ill it was the darkest and lowest point in my life. Having a son/daughter/brother/sister etc with anorexia is heart breaking, they are dying right in front of you and there's **** all you can do about it. You want to shake them but at the same time you want to hug them. You want to cry but at the same time you know you have to stay strong. You want to see them but at the same time you don't because they are your flesh and blood but there they are - lying in a bed, unable to move because they are physically too weak.

    Me and my sister don't talk about her illness, that is not all about who she is, it is not something that defines her, she is a person who deserves to be more than "that girl who got anorexia in year 10". But I want everyone who is suffering to read this and know that as your family; we try so, so, so hard and it effects us so much - more than you will ever realise. When we laugh or seems happy, we're not. In fact, we're probably at our lowest points. But we keep strong just for you. And when your parents scream and shout at you to just "bloody eat something" it is because they love you, yes it is a warped way of showing it, but they do love you, so, so much.
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    (Original post by Katie (:)
    I don't want to go into anymore details apart from the fact through the period of time when my sister was ill it was the darkest and lowest point in my life. Having a son/daughter/brother/sister etc with anorexia is heart breaking, they are dying right in front of you and there's **** all you can do about it. You want to shake them but at the same time you want to hug them. You want to cry but at the same time you know you have to stay strong. You want to see them but at the same time you don't because they are your flesh and blood but there they are - lying in a bed, unable to move because they are physically too weak.

    Me and my sister don't talk about her illness, that is not all about who she is, it is not something that defines her, she is a person who deserves to be more than "that girl who got anorexia in year 10". But I want everyone who is suffering to read this and know that as your family; we try so, so, so hard and it effects us so much - more than you will ever realise. When we laugh or seems happy, we're not. In fact, we're probably at our lowest points. But we keep strong just for you. And when your parents scream and shout at you to just "bloody eat something" it is because they love you, yes it is a warped way of showing it, but they do love you, so, so much.
    Thank you so much for posting this. I've recovered now (2 years and counting), but I don't really think us anorexics really understand how our family feels when they can see us suffering. The closest I got to it was hearing that my brother had to ask his boss for special consideration on assignments because I was on the verge of death too. I could just see the tears in his eyes when he came to visit in hospital, knowing that could be the last time he actually saw me. Thank you so much. I am touched and humbled by your experience and it's made me cry, but in a good way. It makes me realise that the hardship of getting better was definitely worth it. x
    • Thread Starter
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    I just want to note that after two long years, I am now just shy of my minimum healthy bmi of 18.5 at 8 stones 6. Nearly 20lb since my original post if i recall!

    My body fat might be abnormally high and my anxieties are aplomb, but inexplicably, the ed voice seems to be regressing on its own. It is true what they say... When you start reaching your healthy weight, things just start to... Make... Sense!

    For those who have been on this journey with me from the start and given me your words of encouragement, might my thanks be extended and resonate through into those individuals starting their own recovery journeys.

    For me, soon itll be time to begin the new chapter... Living LIFE!
    • #100
    #100

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I just want to note that after two long years, I am now just shy of my minimum healthy bmi of 18.5 at 8 stones 6. Nearly 20lb since my original post if i recall!

    My body fat might be abnormally high and my anxieties are aplomb, but inexplicably, the ed voice seems to be regressing on its own. It is true what they say... When you start reaching your healthy weight, things just start to... Make... Sense!

    For those who have been on this journey with me from the start and given me your words of encouragement, might my thanks be extended and resonate through into those individuals starting their own recovery journeys.

    For me, soon itll be time to begin the new chapter... Living LIFE!
    Can we see a picture of you now Toto?
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    Well done Toto! x
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I just want to note that after two long years, I am now just shy of my minimum healthy bmi of 18.5 at 8 stones 6. Nearly 20lb since my original post if i recall!

    My body fat might be abnormally high and my anxieties are aplomb, but inexplicably, the ed voice seems to be regressing on its own. It is true what they say... When you start reaching your healthy weight, things just start to... Make... Sense!

    For those who have been on this journey with me from the start and given me your words of encouragement, might my thanks be extended and resonate through into those individuals starting their own recovery journeys.

    For me, soon itll be time to begin the new chapter... Living LIFE!
    Pics or it didnt happen!!
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I just want to note that after two long years, I am now just shy of my minimum healthy bmi of 18.5 at 8 stones 6. Nearly 20lb since my original post if i recall!

    My body fat might be abnormally high and my anxieties are aplomb, but inexplicably, the ed voice seems to be regressing on its own. It is true what they say... When you start reaching your healthy weight, things just start to... Make... Sense!

    For those who have been on this journey with me from the start and given me your words of encouragement, might my thanks be extended and resonate through into those individuals starting their own recovery journeys.

    For me, soon itll be time to begin the new chapter... Living LIFE!

    Fantastic news!!
    • #100
    #100

    Binge I just had:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    2 x cadbury brunch bars
    2 x creamy peppercorn kievs
    loads of oven chips with salt and vinegar
    1 x packet of wotsits
    1 x packet of monster munch
    1 x piece of lasagne
    2 x ginger nut biscuits
    1 x 300g orange aero
    1 x sausage roll
    1 x cornish pasty
    2 x chocolate ring donuts
    Ate it all, threw it all back up


    When will this stop
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    people keep calling me anorexic and i am not sure if i am, what are the sypmtoms?
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    Hey guys. I haven't posted in this thread before but I've been battling with bulimia for three years now. I can't stop purging. Does anybody have any advice?
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    (Original post by Alkranite)
    people keep calling me anorexic and i am not sure if i am, what are the sypmtoms?
    Do you feel fat even though people tell you you’re not?
    Are you terrified of gaining weight?
    Do you lie about how much you eat or hide your eating habits from others?
    Are your friends or family concerned about your weight loss, eating habits, or appearance?
    Do you diet, compulsively exercise, or purge when you’re feeling overwhelmed or bad about yourself?
    Do you feel powerful or in control when you go without food, over-exercise, or purge?
    Do you base your self-worth on your weight or body size?
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    1)sometimes
    2)a bit
    3)yes definitely
    4)yes
    5)yes
    6)yes
    7)yes
    • Thread Starter
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    You asked for it! Chubby cheeked, tummytastic tommy pix hearz!

    http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/...orary-2390.jpg

    As you can see, my arms etc are still skinny winny but my face and torso and smushywushy. But as i keep being told, this will all change with time!
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    You asked for it! Chubby cheeked, tummytastic tommy pix hearz!

    http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/...orary-2390.jpg

    As you can see, my arms etc are still skinny winny but my face and torso and smushywushy. But as i keep being told, this will all change with time!
    You look so much happier.
    • #100
    #100

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    You asked for it! Chubby cheeked, tummytastic tommy pix hearz!

    http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/...orary-2390.jpg

    As you can see, my arms etc are still skinny winny but my face and torso and smushywushy. But as i keep being told, this will all change with time!
    You are not chubby or smushwushy or tummytastic, you look happier and I really hope you remain on the path to recovery.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    !
    Congratulations Toto! You don't look chubby in any way shape or form!! You look really slim, and could definitely put on lots more and still look fantastic.

    So proud
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    Congratulations Toto! You don't look chubby in any way shape or form!! You look really slim, and could definitely put on lots more and still look fantastic.

    So proud
    ^ What she said. Cinnie speaks da truff bro. innit.
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    Toto, you look very happy!!.Very proud of you
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    Dem kickass Toto pics.
    PRSOM bro.
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    Lookin' GOOOOOOOOOD! x
 
 
 
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