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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    Bulimia and scared. I had a handful of raisins just now and I freaked out. I stood infront of my bathroom mirror and had to glare at myself - dare myself... convince myself that it was ok.... "As long as you don't eat tomorrow" But I KNOW I will. I've got to. This is exam season!! Someone help me. How quickly will I gain the weight if I eat normally and not purge everything?

    Is this true? I'll gain it all back really quickly???

    D:
    First of all....RELAX.
    It's exam time. You have enough stress without this irrational fear taking hold of you and even though deep down you KNOW eating won't suddenly make you put on stones, you have to try your very very hardest to eat normally and keep your brain full of enough energy to concentrate. You deserve to do your very very best and must not let this disorder ruin your grades; you're worth more than that.
    Keep us posted here on how it's going. You won't suddenly gain a load of weight if your eating is as you say "normal". Please look after yourself, your mind is such a precious thing. The disorder racks your body, please don't let it spoil your chances of getting great grades. Keep fighting it, you've got support behind you here :hugs:
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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    Bulimia and scared. I had a handful of raisins just now and I freaked out. I stood infront of my bathroom mirror and had to glare at myself - dare myself... convince myself that it was ok.... "As long as you don't eat tomorrow" But I KNOW I will. I've got to. This is exam season!! Someone help me. How quickly will I gain the weight if I eat normally and not purge everything?

    Is this true? I'll gain it all back really quickly???

    D:
    Do NOT worry! You need to keep your energy levels up around exam time; your brain alone needs 500 calories to function, not to mention the rest of your organs. You won't gain weight quickly. Your body will use the calories to replenish any deprivations caused by purging before even thinking about putting on weight. x
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    (Original post by Riku)
    x
    Riku, you are so brave. Honestly, you're doing so well and each day you have small triumphs over the ED, so keep it up and keep going. It's okay to sometimes feel unstable. We can't be strong all the time. But don't let it hinder your progress. Any 'failure' or 'setback' is still progress because you learn from it. As for the tarantula...you have some serious cojones! I still scream and pass out if I see a spider, even if it's tiny! x
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    To those who are fighting their ED, I put forth my own ED musings.

    When I was losing weight, I felt a sense of accomplishment. But it was fruitless. The next day, I would strive to lose again, and the achievement was fleeting. Pointlessly, it was... Get to seven stone five. Get to seven stone. Six stone ten. It was a goal that never existed, and I would have literally continued unro death. Hell, I was two weeks from death medically at my worst.

    Then, when gaining, I was gutted at how my body was storing the fat. I will not lie, it does stick to wherever you are genetically predisposed to store it in a biological emergency, when your body is like "holy crap, pack this on the belly, for chrissakes, in case it's the last we ever see!" - I would gain daily to reach healthy bmi. But the difference was, the goal had boundaries and a "win". It was "gain to bmi x, and I can get my life back."

    But oddly enough only now, when I am maintaining, does my weight seem like a "fun game". That makes it sound so trivial but it is true; If the next day I weigh less, I eat more. If the next day I weigh more, i eat less. The balancing game of maintaining my weight may still be obsessive and disordered, but at this place, nothing physically changes and i can continue trying to face my psychological demons with more gusto. I do not have to fear the endless loss or gain of weight, I have ONE NUMBER and I stick to it, maintaining it. I can indulge the ocd part of me whilst not endangering myseof physicakly, freeing my mind up for facing emotional demons more adequately.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    To those who are fighting their ED, I put forth my own ED musings.

    When I was losing weight, I felt a sense of accomplishment. But it was fruitless. The next day, I would strive to lose again, and the achievement was fleeting. Pointlessly, it was... Get to seven stone five. Get to seven stone. Six stone ten. It was a goal that never existed, and I would have literally continued unro death. Hell, I was two weeks from death medically at my worst.

    Then, when gaining, I was gutted at how my body was storing the fat. I will not lie, it does stick to wherever you are genetically predisposed to store it in a biological emergency, when your body is like "holy crap, pack this on the belly, for chrissakes, in case it's the last we ever see!" - I would gain daily to reach healthy bmi. But the difference was, the goal had boundaries and a "win". It was "gain to bmi x, and I can get my life back."

    But oddly enough only now, when I am maintaining, does my weight seem like a "fun game". That makes it sound so trivial but it is true; If the next day I weigh less, I eat more. If the next day I weigh more, i eat less. The balancing game of maintaining my weight may still be obsessive and disordered, but at this place, nothing physically changes and i can continue trying to face my psychological demons with more gusto. I do not have to fear the endless loss or gain of weight, I have ONE NUMBER and I stick to it, maintaining it. I can indulge the ocd part of me whilst not endangering myseof physicakly, freeing my mind up for facing emotional demons more adequately.
    Toto! I wondered where you'd gone!
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    Thanks, everyone. I don't know, I'm just growing increasingly disillusioned by society. I mean even most of my (real-time) mates are ignoring me right now. And it feels like there's so much tension with the few who are keeping in touch. My sister's also just given me this patronising smile (she's younger than me)...I am really fed up. I want to show them if they dare look down to me again who they're messing with here. And it'd be nice to be asked how I was for a change, what I've been up to. No-one does that, they just expect you to keep talking about them. I sucked up to the world for so long and played the nice guy and sure I got far because I'd put everyone else first, now I want some personal satisfaction and it's not happening. Furious. It's no wonder I can't shut up about my problems and get enveloped in this ill identity. There's no avenue for me to speak about the real person! /rant

    (Although I'm not sure whether this is ED/anxiety goggles going on because most of the time they got in touch first. God I'm getting selfish these days.)
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    (Original post by x-Disenchanted-x)
    First of all....RELAX.
    It's exam time. You have enough stress without this irrational fear taking hold of you and even though deep down you KNOW eating won't suddenly make you put on stones, you have to try your very very hardest to eat normally and keep your brain full of enough energy to concentrate. You deserve to do your very very best and must not let this disorder ruin your grades; you're worth more than that.
    Keep us posted here on how it's going. You won't suddenly gain a load of weight if your eating is as you say "normal". Please look after yourself, your mind is such a precious thing. The disorder racks your body, please don't let it spoil your chances of getting great grades. Keep fighting it, you've got support behind you here :hugs:
    Thank you.. really. I appreciate this message a lot. I couldn't sleep all night because I was so scared sleeping on the fat would make it accumulate. :/ I know this is crazy but then a huge part of me thinks it's the God Truth. I'm aiming for A's this summer. I need them. But I know I'm wasting energy and time with this ED.

    I woke up after a nap this afternoon and convinced myself I'd gained a few pounds... I hate this.

    I've been like this for years and it's really killing me. My immune system is ruined. My metabolism is ruined. My hair is thinning and my skin is suffering. And it's making me stress even more!

    Do you have any tips on "Eating Normally"? I can't even remember my life before this ED... I'd like any advice.

    I can't eat anything more than two pieces of bread before feeling really full. I know I'm meant to stretch my stomach slowly but... Everytime I try, I end up vomiting involuntarily because I'm just so full.. I have to prepare food myself because I can't trust my parents to make it "Low-fat and organic"... So studying, anything quick, simple and convincing?

    Thank You, again.
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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    Thank you.. really. I appreciate this message a lot. I couldn't sleep all night because I was so scared sleeping on the fat would make it accumulate. :/ I know this is crazy but then a huge part of me thinks it's the God Truth. I'm aiming for A's this summer. I need them. But I know I'm wasting energy and time with this ED.

    I woke up after a nap this afternoon and convinced myself I'd gained a few pounds... I hate this.

    I've been like this for years and it's really killing me. My immune system is ruined. My metabolism is ruined. My hair is thinning and my skin is suffering. And it's making me stress even more!

    Do you have any tips on "Eating Normally"? I can't even remember my life before this ED... I'd like any advice.

    I can't eat anything more than two pieces of bread before feeling really full. I know I'm meant to stretch my stomach slowly but... Everytime I try, I end up vomiting involuntarily because I'm just so full.. I have to prepare food myself because I can't trust my parents to make it "Low-fat and organic"... So studying, anything quick, simple and convincing?

    Thank You, again.
    raisins are the food of the gods. Them and custard creams.
    In terms of proper food, I'm always a fan of beans on toast when I cba to cook.
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    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    Do NOT worry! You need to keep your energy levels up around exam time; your brain alone needs 500 calories to function, not to mention the rest of your organs. You won't gain weight quickly. Your body will use the calories to replenish any deprivations caused by purging before even thinking about putting on weight. x
    I've been drinking a lot of hot lemon and honey water... It's meant to be really good for the body but I'm worried about the effects of the lemon on my teeth and.... D'you know anything about that?

    And thank you for taking the time to reply. That was sweet. I didn't expect anyone to say anything and just snub me off as a lunatic.

    ...500cals??? Really? .... Wow. And I know this might be a stupid question, but what is an electrolyte?? How can you know if you've got an imbalance?
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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    I've been drinking a lot of hot lemon and honey water... It's meant to be really good for the body but I'm worried about the effects of the lemon on my teeth and.... D'you know anything about that?

    And thank you for taking the time to reply. That was sweet. I didn't expect anyone to say anything and just snub me off as a lunatic.

    ...500cals??? Really? .... Wow. And I know this might be a stupid question, but what is an electrolyte?? How can you know if you've got an imbalance?
    Electrolyte: a liquid which contains ions. Muscle cramps are usually a symptom of it iirc, because potassium and calcium ions are needed for muscle contration, as well as propagtion of nerve impulses </biology nerd>
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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    Thank you.. really. I appreciate this message a lot. I couldn't sleep all night because I was so scared sleeping on the fat would make it accumulate. :/ I know this is crazy but then a huge part of me thinks it's the God Truth. I'm aiming for A's this summer. I need them. But I know I'm wasting energy and time with this ED.

    I woke up after a nap this afternoon and convinced myself I'd gained a few pounds... I hate this.

    I've been like this for years and it's really killing me. My immune system is ruined. My metabolism is ruined. My hair is thinning and my skin is suffering. And it's making me stress even more!

    Do you have any tips on "Eating Normally"? I can't even remember my life before this ED... I'd like any advice.

    I can't eat anything more than two pieces of bread before feeling really full. I know I'm meant to stretch my stomach slowly but... Everytime I try, I end up vomiting involuntarily because I'm just so full.. I have to prepare food myself because I can't trust my parents to make it "Low-fat and organic"... So studying, anything quick, simple and convincing?

    Thank You, again.
    I agree with snowflake on the raisins! I was really struggling last week and raisins basically kick-started me into increasing my intake. Also any kind of fruit/vegetable - your body will love you for giving it some nutrients and you should hopefully be able to eat a bigger quantity of these without feeling bad because they're low calorie. Avocados are great for healthy fats I also love baked potatoes...and stir fry.

    With regards to the lemon on your teeth, it's absolutely fine. It's much less damaging to your teeth than eating an orange, for example, or drinking fruit juice (though those are fine too so don't cut them out!). Just make sure not to brush your teeth for half an hour afterwards or you can brush off the softened enamel before it hardens again. Don't stress about it!

    Let us know if you need any more help/ideas
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    raisins are the food of the gods. Them and custard creams.
    In terms of proper food, I'm always a fan of beans on toast when I cba to cook.
    Oh, no! I know what you mean! I can LIVE on custard creams and raisins... I'm currently munching on one now... :/

    I'm a mild gluten - intolerant Toast won't go down too well - neither does it come back up well.

    More student ideas?
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    (Original post by sentiment)
    I agree with snowflake on the raisins! I was really struggling last week and raisins basically kick-started me into increasing my intake. Also any kind of fruit/vegetable - your body will love you for giving it some nutrients and you should hopefully be able to eat a bigger quantity of these without feeling bad because they're low calorie. Avocados are great for healthy fats I also love baked potatoes...and stir fry.

    With regards to the lemon on your teeth, it's absolutely fine. It's much less damaging to your teeth than eating an orange, for example, or drinking fruit juice (though those are fine too so don't cut them out!). Just make sure not to brush your teeth for half an hour afterwards or you can brush off the softened enamel before it hardens again. Don't stress about it!

    Let us know if you need any more help/ideas

    Sure. It's a real pain when I can't brush my teeth afterwards because I just want everything out of my mouth, you know? I'll refrain. My teeth are starting to show acid erosion, though I've tried to be careful so... It's like a warning sign and motivation for me to stop...

    Raisins are low calorie? Which kind? Like sultanas or the really tiny ones?
    I can never finish a baked potato and stir fry is a blessing in disguise for ED and non. I can eat a small amount and be full as well as having the necessary nutrients Hakka Noodles is my fav. I love oranges but I know it ruins my enamel.

    By the way, if you don't mind me asking, what were you struggling with last week? (ED or related?) What was wrong? Why did you try and increase intake? What pushed you to it?
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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    Oh, no! I know what you mean! I can LIVE on custard creams and raisins... I'm currently munching on one now... :/

    I'm a mild gluten - intolerant Toast won't go down too well - neither does it come back up well.

    More student ideas?
    I literally got through my jan exam revision on 2 packets of jaffa cakes.
    Not at uni yet, if i don't completely loose it before september, hopefully will be at Sheffield.
    Jacket potato, tuna and sweetcorn sandwiches, although mine tend to be sweetcorn with tuna.

    i'm really struggling with trying to remember what food i genuinely like to eat. It's got to the stage where I'll eat if its put infront of me, regardless of whether I like it or not.
    Spoiler:
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    when all you've had between getting up at 8am and tea at half 5 is a slice of toast, a yogurt, and 2 custard creams, you know its not going well.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Electrolyte: a liquid which contains ions. Muscle cramps are usually a symptom of it iirc, because potassium and calcium ions are needed for muscle contration, as well as propagtion of nerve impulses </biology nerd>
    Hahaha... Biology. Well Done. The muscle is A2 OCR isn't it?

    But... Oh. So what kind of liquids have these ions in abundance?
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I literally got through my jan exam revision on 2 packets of jaffa cakes.
    Not at uni yet, if i don't completely loose it before september, hopefully will be at Sheffield.
    Jacket potato, tuna and sweetcorn sandwiches, although mine tend to be sweetcorn with tuna.
    Oh. Cute. Jaffa Cakes Orange are soo good. I've tried biscuits but the guilty feeling afterwards isn't worth it.

    And that's a really good aim for uni. What are you planning to do? Are you a high achiever?

    I tried eating mini-babybels "Light" - 45cals each. They're pretty good too, I've found but they taste weird after a while. :/ Tuna and Sweetcorn/or vice versa sounds good. I'll give it a try.

    And that sounds rough.... Don't you get those horrible hunger pangs?? How could you survive on just that?
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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    Hahaha... Biology. Well Done. The muscle is A2 OCR isn't it?

    But... Oh. So what kind of liquids have these ions in abundance?
    I'm doing edexcel Unit 5. HATE IT. Especially because of the content of the scientific article. Bananas are high in potassium
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    (Original post by CollateralElement)
    Oh. Cute. Jaffa Cakes Orange are soo good. I've tried biscuits but the guilty feeling afterwards isn't worth it.

    And that's a really good aim for uni. What are you planning to do? Are you a high achiever?

    I tried eating mini-babybels "Light" - 45cals each. They're pretty good too, I've found but they taste weird after a while. :/ Tuna and Sweetcorn/or vice versa sounds good. I'll give it a try.

    And that sounds rough.... Don't you get those horrible hunger pangs?? How could you survive on just that?
    frighteningly i dont. I drink enough water/ coffee/fruit tea to drown a midget.
    Chemistry <3. Got forced into putting down for a single sex flat. This is likely to be the thing that nearly kills me.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I'm doing edexcel Unit 5. HATE IT. Especially because of the content of the scientific article. Bananas are high in potassium
    Oh. Darn. I've heard quite a few people say that. I'm OCR and it's actually enjoyable... I've seen the edexcel papers and they are - admittedly - kinda scary but it sounds like you're going to do pretty well anyway

    Oh. Bananas. I forgot about them. Hmm...
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    frighteningly i dont. I drink enough water/ coffee/fruit tea to drown a midget.
    Chemistry <3. Got forced into putting down for a single sex flat. This is likely to be the thing that nearly kills me.
    COFFEEE!! Amazing little bugger. Not the midget... And yeah. I used to do that too. Just coffee, coffee, squash, water, lemon & honey, coffee.... repeat. But you're kinda lucky in a way. When I used to get hunger pangs, all I wanted in life was to eat. It really hurt not being able to and not wanting to.

    And crap! Seriously....?? You're kidding! You're gonna be in the worst possible environment!

    Can't you ask for a different flat - like written letter specifying why? I mean this is your ED and the rest of your life!

    Chemistry is the boss. Actually, I can't decide between Bio or Chem. It's one or the other - whichever one I'm not revising for.

 
 
 
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