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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Aww. I refuse to watch Marley and me because apparently thats really sad, ditto Toy Story 3, my sisters keeper...
    My Sisters Keeper just made me angry

    Sad films about people? I don't care.

    Sad films about animated people? Bawling.

    Sad films about animals? Bawling even harder.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My Sisters Keeper just made me angry

    Sad films about people? I don't care.

    Sad films about animated people? Bawling.

    Sad films about animals? Bawling even harder.
    My mum and sister went to see it when I was at a full orchestra rehursal. 3 hours with this american composer. He'd written a special piece of music to celebrate the orchestras 50th Anniversary. The man CANNOT write idomatically for a flute. We go NOT like having octve leaps for 16 bars.
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    (Original post by SpangleMagnet)
    Hey,

    I don't have enough time to read all nearly 200 pages of this thread, and I apologise if this is uncomfortable for anyone, but I read from the first couple and last couple that many people here have undereating/restrictive disorders... Does anyone suffer from the other scale of the spectrum? I've suffered from a cyclical Eating Disorder for most of my life... My 'neutral' period is Binge Eating disorder, but it's interspersed with periods of binge/purge and restriction. It's a bloody hard thing to live with because I don't -look- like I have an eating disorder, because I'm so over weight, and therefore it's hard to get people to take me and my issues seriously!
    Hey,
    I don't have this, I suffer from undereating and restricting but we're all suffering in different ways, so don't feel like you're excluded or different! There are probably others suffering from the same as you here too, don't worry! Tell us a bit more about your illness; how long has it been going on for? Have you told anyone about it?
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    My mum and sister went to see it when I was at a full orchestra rehursal. 3 hours with this american composer. He'd written a special piece of music to celebrate the orchestras 50th Anniversary. The man CANNOT write idomatically for a flute. We go NOT like having octve leaps for 16 bars.
    You play flute? Me tooo!
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    (Original post by sentiment)
    You play flute? Me tooo!
    YAY. octave leaps from G on the stave, to the G above for 16 bars = painful. -nods-
    Mentioned being a flautist, York gave me a load of stuff on the orchestra, the glee society...
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    YAY. octave leaps from G on the stave, to the G above for 16 bars = painful. -nods-
    Mentioned being a flautist, York gave me a load of stuff on the orchestra, the glee society...
    Not pretty. I always found that the majority of orchestral music for flute is just massively impractical.

    I went to one rehearsal of the concert orchestra here and didn't go back because I didn't like it haha. Would love to join a chamber orchestra or something but all the really serious music here is auditioned and I don't really have the time or energy to commit to it (especially as I don't studty music). I do really need to keep it up though, I've been slacking off massively and barely played since I did my grade eight two years ago (can't believe it's so long haha). Still big love for flautists!
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    (Original post by x-Disenchanted-x)
    Hey,
    I don't have this, I suffer from undereating and restricting but we're all suffering in different ways, so don't feel like you're excluded or different! There are probably others suffering from the same as you here too, don't worry! Tell us a bit more about your illness; how long has it been going on for? Have you told anyone about it?
    I've never had a healthy relationship with food; ever since I was a little kid I'd binge, then restrict, then binge. I'm getting treatment for it, as well as a whole other bunch of loveliness I've got going on. The consequence of my eating disorder, though, is that I'm severely overweight which isn't very fun because that comes with a whole load of self esteem and image related issues.

    It's an awful thing to think, but sometimes I find myself wishing that I had stuff on the other end of the scale. I'd prefer hip and collar bones to a double chin any day. Such is the poison of the illness, though.
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    (Original post by sentiment)
    Not pretty. I always found that the majority of orchestral music for flute is just massively impractical.

    I went to one rehearsal of the concert orchestra here and didn't go back because I didn't like it haha. Would love to join a chamber orchestra or something but all the really serious music here is auditioned and I don't really have the time or energy to commit to it (especially as I don't studty music). I do really need to keep it up though, I've been slacking off massively and barely played since I did my grade eight two years ago (can't believe it's so long haha). Still big love for flautists!
    got to grade 4 in Y9, dropped it at Xmas of Y12, because ALL of my flute lessons were falling in german, and we couldnt afford it.
    • #48
    #48

    Not having a good day tbh :cry:

    Spoiler:
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    Skipped lunch, no-one noticed. Made dinner (cottage pie) and honestly it looked and tasted like it'd already been eaten and regurgitated :erm: so I only had a little bit. I've had a biscuit, a muffin and a Tescos cookie and that's all. Feel really unhealthy because basically all I've eaten today is crappy sugary carby **** and nothing healthy or wholesome :erm: :sad: But because I've 'had' dinner even though it was only a tiny, tiny portion, smaller than a babies portion really, my head won't let me eat anything else that's substantial/dinner-y. My mum told me to get something out of the freezer but I couldn't do it.

    I might have a banana later. Sound like a good idea?
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    I have a question for people who consider themselves on the way to recovery...even if I heal physically, am I ever going to look in the mirror and not just see fat? I can't stand feeling this way forever and not being able to do anything about it.
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    (Original post by SpangleMagnet)
    I've never had a healthy relationship with food; ever since I was a little kid I'd binge, then restrict, then binge. I'm getting treatment for it, as well as a whole other bunch of loveliness I've got going on. The consequence of my eating disorder, though, is that I'm severely overweight which isn't very fun because that comes with a whole load of self esteem and image related issues.

    It's an awful thing to think, but sometimes I find myself wishing that I had stuff on the other end of the scale. I'd prefer hip and collar bones to a double chin any day. Such is the poison of the illness, though.
    *hugs*
    The mistake there is thinking that those with jutting hips/collarbones look better or are happier with their bodies, but the self-esteem issues are the same.
    Most days I look in the mirror and see fat and loathe myself.
    But sometimes someone will comment that I'm getting to be "skin and bone" and I'll catch sight of myself in a full-length mirror and hate the disgusting shape I'm becoming, losing any feminine curves and looking like a sick child.
    The problem with both ends of the scale is that you're never happy with your body and you never win and for both, it is a really hard fight to get better. Keep on getting treatment; it's great that you've taken action against it and you've just got to stay strong to defeat it. You CAN have your life back again.
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    (Original post by sentiment)
    We're here if you need us
    Thank you in fairness, this forum has helped more than anything else, I always know to come here if I'm having a bad day because someone is going through the same.
    Hope all is going okay with you.
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    Lest we all forget, you cannot actually feel 'fat'. Or even feel 'thin'. Size isn't a feeling, it's a proportion of physical matter, a mass or volume. Weight isn't a feeling, it's the gravitational pull that a mass experiences in a specific field. They're both material, tangible and entirely arbitrary concepts to self-worth and the intrinsic, immaterial, intangible wonder that is our mind and emotion.
    If someone asked me to measure a ruler and tell me how long it is, I wouldn't say "it's happy", "hmm, looks pretty sad, probably need to buy a happier one" or "Bargain, it's FREAKING AWESOME! cm". Same applies here.
    Yet our culture falsely invests so much false and superficial significance to size, an external, as a measure of internal self-worth and beauty, that we come to very misguidedly conflate the two. It actually dares to presume that it can tell us how we feel by our looks, and that it can instruct us that we will feel this way at this weight or size, no questions asked. If we're overweight then we must be a wreck, beyond all hope, woe is me, writing the suicide note; if we're stick-thin or have the build of Michelangelo or Aphrodite, well I guess everything's hunky-dory!
    How absurd. The bloody cheek of telling us how to think and feel.

    So the next time that you're having a 'bad' day and say to yourself, "I'm feeling really fat today', and just as importantly when you have a good day and may think 'I'm feeling thin', honour your mind with more complexity and subtlety than that and ask yourself-what are you really feeling? Did your mood really have anything, anything at all, to do with the mirror or today's food? Dig a little deeper and we find the reasoning behind our feelings doesn't always add up.

    _____________
    Been a bit of a slip for me lately, but I had to get a few things settled and there was a bit of internal rebellion to making the next big step to change. It's worked out for the best, though, because I've finally got me some goals and direction-and not a single one involves weight!

    Spoiler:
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    I'm'a off to Red Hot Buffet with my bros
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    (Original post by SpangleMagnet)

    It's an awful thing to think, but sometimes I find myself wishing that I had stuff on the other end of the scale. I'd prefer hip and collar bones to a double chin any day. Such is the poison of the illness, though.
    But when we've got the collarbones and hip bones we can't see them - that's really badly phrased, i know. Let me off, I've spent all morning cramming german grammar into my thick skull. I've dropped an awful lot of weight very quickly, I can see my knees look different, and it now annoys me that they don't look even, and theres a few other things that are much more prominent than before, yet I feel bigger now, than I did.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Lest we all forget, you cannot actually feel 'fat'. Or even feel 'thin'. Size isn't a feeling, it's a proportion of physical matter, a mass or volume. Weight isn't a feeling, it's the gravitational pull that a mass experiences in a specific field. They're both material, tangible and entirely arbitrary concepts to self-worth and the intrinsic, immaterial, intangible wonder that is our mind and emotion.
    If someone asked me to measure a ruler and tell me how long it is, I wouldn't say "it's happy", "hmm, looks pretty sad, probably need to buy a happier one" or "Bargain, it's FREAKING AWESOME! cm". Same applies here.
    Yet our culture falsely invests so much false and superficial significance to size, an external, as a measure of internal self-worth and beauty, that we come to very misguidedly conflate the two. It actually dares to presume that it can tell us how we feel by our looks, and that it can instruct us that we will feel this way at this weight or size, no questions asked. If we're overweight then we must be a wreck, beyond all hope, woe is me, writing the suicide note; if we're stick-thin or have the build of MichaelAngelo or Aphrodite, well I guess everything's hunky-dory!
    How absurd. The bloody cheek of telling us how to think and feel.

    So the next time that you're having a 'bad' day and say to yourself, "I'm feeling really fat today', and just as importantly when you have a good day and may think 'I'm feeling thin', honour your mind with more complexity and subtlety than that and ask yourself-what are you really feeling? Did your mood really have anything, anything at all, to do with the mirror or today's food? Dig a little deeper and we find the reasoning behind our feelings doesn't always add up.

    _____________
    Been a bit of a slip for me lately, but I had to get a few things settled and there was a bit of internal rebellion to making the next big step to change. It's worked out for the best, though, because I've finally got me some goals and direction-and not a single one involves weight!

    Spoiler:
    Show

    I'm'a off to Red Hot Buffet with my bros
    Best piece of advice I've read all week
    Enjoy with your bros!
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    that german exam wasn't an exam. It was two and a half hours of sheer torture. feel like all of the revision I've done was a waste of time, feel guilty that I've wasted sirs time with the mock exams we've done/ the sheer volume of essays i'd written, sent him and he'd marked. I've even spent the last week trying to eat like a ****ing normal person so didnt go into the exam with the attention span of a bloody gnat. And where has that got me, I probably couldnt have done worse if I'd gone in having not revised all the vocab, and not really haven eated properly in the last couple of days.
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    that german exam wasn't an exam. It was two and a half hours of sheer torture. feel like all of the revision I've done was a waste of time, feel guilty that I've wasted sirs time with the mock exams we've done/ the sheer volume of essays i'd written, sent him and he'd marked. I've even spent the last week trying to eat like a ****ing normal person so didnt go into the exam with the attention span of a bloody gnat. And where has that got me, I probably couldnt have done worse if I'd gone in having not revised all the vocab, and not really haven eated properly in the last couple of days.
    Hey, you can't do worse than me. I got an E at AS and a D at A2... You will be 100% fine, just relax. You can't change it now so try and put it out of your mind. Eating is so important, the fact that you've tried to eat as normally as possible this last week shows how intelligent and able you are, exams are **** tough without having the pressure of an ED on top. :hugs: You'll be ok. Have a nice bath and relax, take some you time.
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    So..I fell last night (not even very badly) and broke my wrist. I've never broken anything before and it could be that it was just awkward the way I landed on it but I was quite surprised that such a minor accident resulted in a fracture and I'm kind of worried about what I might have done to my bones after so many years of eating badly. What I really want to know is if any of you have any experience of this, how important is a good diet in the healing process? Really want it to mend quickly and well obviously so I can get back to working out properly as quickly as possible, but I know I'm going to find it hard to eat well if I can't exercise as much.

    Just hate the thought that I might have brought it on myself and don't want to do any more damage.
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    (Original post by sentiment)
    So..I fell last night (not even very badly) and broke my wrist. I've never broken anything before and it could be that it was just awkward the way I landed on it but I was quite surprised that such a minor accident resulted in a fracture and I'm kind of worried about what I might have done to my bones after so many years of eating badly. What I really want to know is if any of you have any experience of this, how important is a good diet in the healing process? Really want it to mend quickly and well obviously so I can get back to working out properly as quickly as possible, but I know I'm going to find it hard to eat well if I can't exercise as much.

    Just hate the thought that I might have brought it on myself and don't want to do any more damage.
    ooft. Toto has experience of that. Can#t remember how he did it though :/ Hope you're okay!
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    Sentiment during the course of this thread alone I have posted about this wretched anorexia causing me to break bones twice. Two fractures in a year, and one hairline crack! And how did I manage one of those? By sitting down. SITTING DOWN. I leaned on my wrist and POP! - like a Cinder Toffee, my bones are, apparently. Those are literally the words my GP used.

    Even though I am now no longer in a bad BMI (18.7!!) my severe osteoperosis remains. It is one of the ghosts of the illness I will be fighting way beyond slaying the demon of the eating disorder, and at 27 years old, I have been told it is reversible; but will take a long time. For example it might be another year or two before I can even consider running again. That's a horrible thought. But that said, one of my other fractures this year was my ankle, and that was rushing for a bus.

    Anorexia totally wrecks your entire body from the inside out. So by the time you see yourself and go, "wow, you have ****ed yourself up here"... your organs, bones and chemical balances inside are already struggling more than you know.
 
 
 
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