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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    The ED isn't the disorder. It's the knowledge the disorder exists and being helpless to fix it. Xxx
    • #59
    #59

    The support received from you guys after a tough few weeks has been invaluable; I'm finally 8 stone! At my worst I was 6 stone 10. Finally told people about my anorexia so that I have to keep going. You're all an amazing bunch of people, I just wanted you to know that.
    I genuinely do smile when I see posts about what people are achieving; we can all do this
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    Damn that anon button!
    • #120
    #120

    Hello lovelies.
    I do not have an eating disorder, but my best friend is a recovering anorexic.
    I haven't read this whole thread so I dont know if this has been addressed before, but has anyone found that, while recovering, they kind of become...obsessed with school work?
    I know eating disorders are often more likely to happen to high achievers, but the amount my friend actually obsesses over school is more than that. It's almost like her brain has swapped from thinking 'If you eat, you're a failure' to 'If you don't do 5 hours of school work today, you're a failure'.
    It's not normal exam stress, as we have just finished year 10 and have only done a few exams anyway. But it's not even feeling guilty about not revising or something; she admitted to me that she feels extremely bad if she doesn't go home and do school work every night, even if it doesn't need doing.
    School causes her a huge amount of stress now. I just wondered if anyone else has ever found themselves doing this, in the hope that I could somehow do something to help her out. I think the stress caused by obsessing over school work is also having a negative effect on her eating, even if she doesn't realise it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello lovelies.
    I do not have an eating disorder, but my best friend is a recovering anorexic.
    I haven't read this whole thread so I dont know if this has been addressed before, but has anyone found that, while recovering, they kind of become...obsessed with school work?
    I know eating disorders are often more likely to happen to high achievers, but the amount my friend actually obsesses over school is more than that. It's almost like her brain has swapped from thinking 'If you eat, you're a failure' to 'If you don't do 5 hours of school work today, you're a failure'.
    It's not normal exam stress, as we have just finished year 10 and have only done a few exams anyway. But it's not even feeling guilty about not revising or something; she admitted to me that she feels extremely bad if she doesn't go home and do school work every night, even if it doesn't need doing.
    School causes her a huge amount of stress now. I just wondered if anyone else has ever found themselves doing this, in the hope that I could somehow do something to help her out. I think the stress caused by obsessing over school work is also having a negative effect on her eating, even if she doesn't realise it
    I do that. I had no idea what to do with myself after my last A2 exam, as I'd literally constantly revised since my Jan results came out. I started getting obsessed with school work, desparate to meet/ exceed my firm offer because my friend didnt get any offers for Medicine in the UK (and she's not the only one in my year), and I got all 5 for Chemistry, and subsequently felt guilty that I had so many offers and they didnt, and felt I didn't deserve them (and I still don't) and wanted to make her proud of me. And then relapsed back into skipping meals, doing too much exercise for how much i'm eating and so on.

    It's taken me a few weeks to stop feeling awfully guilty about the fact I'm not reading the books I have been reading recently in German and watching my first movie in English in over a year was a complete mind****. Friends do complain that I spend far too much time doing german, reading german, moaning that I've got two essays in this week - I only do it because compared to the other 3 girls, I'm the class idiot, they're all predicted A/A*, I had to beg for my B, which I need to make my firm offer, if the exam hadn't been so awful, I'd be slightly more confident about getting an A - I did manage that on the last mock paper we did.
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    I suppose I should post in here seeing as I'm currently in Borneo SMC thanks to deciding jungle + an ED + no control was a good idea and conpletely messing my body up. Probably about time I do something about it.

    Right now I need to call home as I'm flying home early and need to actually tell them but **** knows how you drop that bombshell, especially over the phone. Plus my head is banning me from calling until I binge + sick which I'm desperately trying to fight but failing at despite being in hosp :nn:

    I was 8st1lb 5 weeks ago and now I'm 7st7lb at 5ft9.

    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    I suppose I should post in here seeing as I'm currently in Borneo SMC thanks to deciding jungle + an ED + no control was a good idea and conpletely messing my body up. Probably about time I do something about it.

    Right now I need to call home as I'm flying home early and need to actually tell them but **** knows how you drop that bombshell, especially over the phone. Plus my head is banning me from calling until I binge + sick which I'm desperately trying to fight but failing at despite being in hosp :nn:

    I was 8st1lb 5 weeks ago and now I'm 7st7lb at 5ft9.

    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    oh. timewarpy -huggles- I hope you're okay - well, as ok as you can be considering.

    Anyone know how to get rid of that results and clearing thing in the sidebar. I feel physically sick every time I see it. I do NOT need reminding that I've probably failed, okay?

    Edit: Oh great. Seen the advert, now in such a state I'm ready to sit and weep. FAB. I also need to tell my firm & ucas that the exams I've actually sat doesnt match whats on my UCAS form. My A levels haven't changed, but they'll get more results module wise than they're expecting. But I've no idea what to say, how to say it, what needs to be in the email and I've convinced myself they'll hold this against me because I've known since March which exams I was taking and that them compared to UCAS didnt match and it's been ages since I've sat them and I HAVE TO tell them by 8th Aug otherwise I miss the deadline for telling them that its changed and if I don't tell them I've resat these two modules, ****'ll go down on results day because they're recieve results for me they're not expecting and be like WTF is this, and hence probably take longer to decide to confirm me, and tbqh, I can't deal with that stress. But it being so long since said exams I'm scared they'll use this against me if I miss my firm offer 'Oh she's the idiot who resat AS modules and STILL couldn't meet the offer' or that knowing that theres such a gap between my exams and me telling them, they might read it as 'She's really not organised, she wont cope with the course.' and if I miss the offer, that might make them decide they don't want me.
    • #120
    #120

    @snowflake
    Thanks for the reply
    Do you think it was the school situation that caused your eating to get worse?
    My friend told me a while ago that she'd lost a lot of weight, but not on purpose (I don't know how much truth there was in that, but yeah). Also, we went out to eat the other day and I noticed she was playing with her food again. She hasn't done that in ages because she's been so focused on recovering.
    -sigh- I just don't want her eating disorder to get really bad again because it's really heartbreaking, and, obviously, horrible for her too. But nobody can get her to stop working, because she'll just get even more stressed out if she's not doing something, than if she's doing mountains of unnecessary work.
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    I suppose I should post in here seeing as I'm currently in Borneo SMC thanks to deciding jungle + an ED + no control was a good idea and conpletely messing my body up. Probably about time I do something about it.

    Right now I need to call home as I'm flying home early and need to actually tell them but **** knows how you drop that bombshell, especially over the phone. Plus my head is banning me from calling until I binge + sick which I'm desperately trying to fight but failing at despite being in hosp :nn:

    I was 8st1lb 5 weeks ago and now I'm 7st7lb at 5ft9.

    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    Never knew sweetheart, I keep myself anon on this thread but I know you from around - big hugs :hugs:

    It'll be scary to phone but they'll be much more upset if you didn't get any help and really hurt yourself out there, take care.
    • #59
    #59

    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    I suppose I should post in here seeing as I'm currently in Borneo SMC thanks to deciding jungle + an ED + no control was a good idea and conpletely messing my body up. Probably about time I do something about it.

    Right now I need to call home as I'm flying home early and need to actually tell them but **** knows how you drop that bombshell, especially over the phone. Plus my head is banning me from calling until I binge + sick which I'm desperately trying to fight but failing at despite being in hosp :nn:

    I was 8st1lb 5 weeks ago and now I'm 7st7lb at 5ft9.

    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    So sorry to hear you're not feeling so great stay strong and keep us posted on how things are going with you. You're right; it's time to change and get your life back.
    • #100
    #100

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Connie,
    HAHAHAHAHA :rofl: :rofl: This made me absolutely laugh out loud which lasted too long and too loud and then I felt choked up. Is it normal to be this manic?? Up one minute, down the next.
    Made myself sick at work every day this week so far. If only the girls toilets were closer to the office, but they're up another flight of stairs so no one can hear me. & Im the only female that works here so there's no chance someone will catch me. It's all too easy, too easy to get away with. There's nothing stopping me anymore
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    Went for a meeting at work today, basically to see if I'm not faking my eating disorder and depression (...) and from a business point of view they expect me to return in a month; because from the companies view they say I haven't worked there long enough to get any more sick leave pay, not the top of my worries, but even they admitted just by looking at me they wouldn't want me to return.

    No, I don't really WANT to go back there since BEING THERE was when my depression and eating disorder escalate. But they did say they didn't want to 'sack me', perhaps keep me on record and say if I was well enough in a years time they would employ me once more/ make me seasonal. At least that options there, because my aim was to go to Uni this year and that dreams just fading away because I'm that much of a mess at the moment and if don't go Uni at least theres always that job position open to me.

    Whats more is I broke down like an emotional wreck in there, not because they were saying you have to come back to work but i just want to get better and no matter how hard I try I seem to be going nowhere. Also, one of the medical reviewers said 'there is a way out of all this and your parents are so supportive, and you have a very understanding boyfriend that you've been with for nearly 3 years' and I had to open my big gob and say 'Yeah. We're not together anymore.' Extreme awkward silence. EXTREME
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    Cheers guys, flying home tomorrow so will keep you updated.

    I went for the 'don't ask questions' approach on the phone intending to explain all when I get home, might write a letter for sake of ease. I'm also not going actual home, I'm going to my grandparents because I can't face my dad or the thought of being anywhere near mum at the moment.

    ****ed up childhood has finally defeated me and I don't think I have the energy left to fight anymore :sigh:


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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    Cheers guys, flying home tomorrow so will keep you updated.

    I went for the 'don't ask questions' approach on the phone intending to explain all when I get home, might write a letter for sake of ease. I'm also not going actual home, I'm going to my grandparents because I can't face my dad or the thought of being anywhere near mum at the moment.

    ****ed up childhood has finally defeated me and I don't think I have the energy left to fight anymore :sigh:


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    -glompssohardInearlysuffocateyouw ithmybewbs.- You do have the energy left to fight it, and you will. You're too lovely to let this cruel heartless ***** in your head which tells you to torture yourself, win.
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    Hey, basically had a few questions which i wondered if anyone on here has any advice for?
    I'm 17, recovered from anorexia and depression, but doing my uni application and thinking lots about what uni will be like... Have people found it much harder to stay healthy when they are living independently and are in complete control of what they eat? and did you tell other people about your eating disorder? I'm not sure if i'd want people to know or not, and i'm worried about the possibility of relapse or something once i'm at uni
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    (Original post by Nooshkabob)
    Hey, basically had a few questions which i wondered if anyone on here has any advice for?
    I'm 17, recovered from anorexia and depression, but doing my uni application and thinking lots about what uni will be like... Have people found it much harder to stay healthy when they are living independently and are in complete control of what they eat? and did you tell other people about your eating disorder? I'm not sure if i'd want people to know or not, and i'm worried about the possibility of relapse or something once i'm at uni
    Hey

    Although I recovered from anorexia well before coming to uni, I still disclosed it with the uni just in case something was to happen, although there's no chance that I'd relapse. It was just in case, like a safety net. I found it easier to eat properly once coming to uni because my family weren't scrutinising things and I was out of a hostile environment. I got bullied during freshers but I still found eating fine because, when I had my bad days, I just thought of food as nutrients and medicine and never let it get to me. I did tell my friends about having had anorexia and they were absolutely lovely about it. Good luck! x
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    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    Hey

    Although I recovered from anorexia well before coming to uni, I still disclosed it with the uni just in case something was to happen, although there's no chance that I'd relapse. It was just in case, like a safety net. I found it easier to eat properly once coming to uni because my family weren't scrutinising things and I was out of a hostile environment. I got bullied during freshers but I still found eating fine because, when I had my bad days, I just thought of food as nutrients and medicine and never let it get to me. I did tell my friends about having had anorexia and they were absolutely lovely about it. Good luck! x
    Ok thankyou for the reply! I was ill during my GCSEs and affected them a bit so it'll be on my teacher's reference anyway, and I think it would be good to have the safety net... And i think i'm just cautious because there's still such a stigma about mental illness... I don't want people to judge me or treat me differently or think about me differently, I just want to get on with my life and try and be normal like everyone else! I've just started having counselling too, so hopefully that'll help
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    I was diagnosed with anorexia 3 weeks ago, and am now on a very long waiting list for adult services help. But I'm really really struggling

    My mum is so mad at my diagnosis - she doesn't 'get' anorexia at all and refuses to acknowledge that I have it and that it's a problem I need help with. She is adamant that I need to 'start helping myself, cheer up and get over it' - but as anyone with this awful condition knows, it isn't as simple as that. She still seems to believe that I'm basically just not eating because I don't want to, and being miserable for the sake of it.

    Right now, I am so low and depressed; blacker than I have ever been in my life. I am desperate for some comfort and reassurance from my mum. But she can't even bear to look at me; she says she's fed up of looking at my miserable face. She doesn't push me to eat in any way - we went to a coffee shop yesterday and she declared the tray bakes too big so we didn't have any, and she believes that a good breakfast is a piece of toast, to give a couple of examples. The house is filled with healthy food and diet options, and portion sizes are small. I'm finding it almost impossible to start on a path to recovery here, which is making me feel even more depressed...but it's the total lack of understanding and support from my mum that is just awful

    All I want is a hug. But apparently, because I'm 21, an adult and this was 'my choice', I don't deserve one.
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    (Original post by lightacandle)
    I was diagnosed with anorexia 3 weeks ago, and am now on a very long waiting list for adult services help. But I'm really really struggling

    My mum is so mad at my diagnosis - she doesn't 'get' anorexia at all and refuses to acknowledge that I have it and that it's a problem I need help with. She is adamant that I need to 'start helping myself, cheer up and get over it' - but as anyone with this awful condition knows, it isn't as simple as that. She still seems to believe that I'm basically just not eating because I don't want to, and being miserable for the sake of it.

    Right now, I am so low and depressed; blacker than I have ever been in my life. I am desperate for some comfort and reassurance from my mum. But she can't even bear to look at me; she says she's fed up of looking at my miserable face. She doesn't push me to eat in any way - we went to a coffee shop yesterday and she declared the tray bakes too big so we didn't have any, and she believes that a good breakfast is a piece of toast, to give a couple of examples. The house is filled with healthy food and diet options, and portion sizes are small. I'm finding it almost impossible to start on a path to recovery here, which is making me feel even more depressed...but it's the total lack of understanding and support from my mum that is just awful

    All I want is a hug. But apparently, because I'm 21, an adult and this was 'my choice', I don't deserve one.
    On honey Want to give you a big hug :hugs:

    Some people just don't get it... because either they have never been through anything like it themselves... or because they act in the same way but refuse to believe they have a problem. Firstly big thumbs up for getting yourself to the doctors and onto that waiting list, as well as wanting things to change. It's so so important to acknowledge that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and want things to be better. It sounds like your mum has really influenced and fed your pre-disposition to having an eating disorder - but remember to challenge the things that are going on in your home and not accept them as normal and 'OK'.

    -----------

    I really regret running away from treatment services I have really been struggling lately with my new body and I know that I would have been helped with this if I had accepted help and not done most of it myself. Broke down and my mum finally realised how much of a problem this is and is encouraging me to do counselling . I strongly considered just giving in to a massive relapse ... and felt like the options were either be anorexic or be suicidal.

    Actually i'm not going to accept either of those things. I'm going to be a whole person - with all it's responsibilities, fears and challenges... because the hardest things are the most worthwile.
    • #43
    #43

    (Original post by Cinnie)
    On honey Want to give you a big hug :hugs:

    Some people just don't get it... because either they have never been through anything like it themselves... or because they act in the same way but refuse to believe they have a problem. Firstly big thumbs up for getting yourself to the doctors and onto that waiting list, as well as wanting things to change. It's so so important to acknowledge that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and want things to be better. It sounds like your mum has really influenced and fed your pre-disposition to having an eating disorder - but remember to challenge the things that are going on in your home and not accept them as normal and 'OK'.

    -----------

    I really regret running away from treatment services I have really been struggling lately with my new body and I know that I would have been helped with this if I had accepted help and not done most of it myself. Broke down and my mum finally realised how much of a problem this is and is encouraging me to do counselling . I strongly considered just giving in to a massive relapse ... and felt like the options were either be anorexic or be suicidal.

    Actually i'm not going to accept either of those things. I'm going to be a whole person - with all it's responsibilities, fears and challenges... because the hardest things are the most worthwile.
    Cinnie, you don't have to do this alone. Even though your life's played by your hand at the end of the day, it's OK to have those you love stand by and support you every step of the way.
    So good that you got to talk to your mum. I think she might be right, it helps many of us and it's certainly helping me. To get an outsider's perspective who can tell you the cold, hard truth is scary but vital considering how much of the disorder revolves around lies to others and even yourself. :hugs:


    ___________
    Speaking of which, I'm terrified by how easy it is to convince yourself that the problem is weight or what you've eaten today. I just had to write down the fact I'd binged was insignificant compared to the fact I literally ran away from my friends just because I felt I'd ran out of stuff to say. and yet other times I can't shut up. Social anxiety, ugh :mad:
    So strange. Even stranger because I think until now I'd spent only 10 minutes doing or thinking anything directly ED-related, which is a very, very good sign. The rest of it was just, stuff.
    (been reading up on Will Smith's early rap career and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, actually :cool: )

    It's an effort to remember the truth both emotionally and physically; behaviours are exhausting. But it's very, very possible. Let's not forget that.
    4 days without a behaviour. It was a start, I guess.
 
 
 
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