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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Rubix, you don't need yo punish both you and your son for the failings of the lad's father. Just think of your child. You're slowly killing yourself by punishing your body, and if not for yourself, use your wee one as the reason to eat and vitalise your body.

    If you starve it to the point of degradation where you struggle to do things for your child or worse, expire before you see him grow up, you will have failed him just as much as his clearly negligent father has, and we both know you're better than that, my love. Xx
    I know and I keep telling myself this, but it doesn't seem to help. It's not that I feel as though I am starving myself, because I don't feel hungry - I really don't feel the need to eat anymore, there's no pangs. I run around all day after him and I just don't et because I can't sit down - today this is the first time I've sat down and it's to workout (30day shred, needs done). I've just not got hungry and I can't seem to force myself otherwise.

    Thank you though, for the kind words xx
    • #48
    #48

    I feel sometimes like my anxiety problems and eating disorder vie for attention - one day I'll be so anxious I can't leave the house, but I'll eat (relatively) normally, other days I'm anxiety free but can't even bear to think of eating. It's very odd.
    • #100
    #100

    (Original post by rubixcyoob)
    I know and I keep telling myself this, but it doesn't seem to help. It's not that I feel as though I am starving myself, because I don't feel hungry - I really don't feel the need to eat anymore, there's no pangs. I run around all day after him and I just don't et because I can't sit down - today this is the first time I've sat down and it's to workout (30day shred, needs done). I've just not got hungry and I can't seem to force myself otherwise.

    Thank you though, for the kind words xx
    Your posts frighten me.

    It's bad enough reading everyone else's experiences, but to think a mother is starving herself is awful. You NEED to be healthy to look after your son. If you carry on like this, he'll grow up without his mum. Harsh or too blunt? I apologise but maybe that's what you need. 600kcals a day and going to the gym, that's not healthy. You're in denial if you think you're not hungry or don't need food.

    Please, for the sake of your poor son, get help before it's too late. He doesn't deserve to have to see his Mum being buried.
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    Anonymous, this is why I felt compelled to pipe up so quickly; with me, I am hurting myself with my ED. I am killing MYSELF. But when someone who DEPENDS on you is potentially going to be endangered outwith their control by someone's ED actions, it becomes a whole other tier of dangerous.
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    Oh, a musing for the day -

    Speaking with my psychiatrist yesterday I discussed with her why it is that some people never even make one step towards positive life recovery, and having the epiphany of "cognitive shifting" -

    We created our own ED. We created the rules, the regulations, through our minds. The ED IS ONLY AS STRONG AS YOU HAVE CREATED IT, AND ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BELIEVE IT IS.
    • #39
    #39

    Hi everyone I've posted in here a few times but not for a while now, so I thought I'd stop by and tell you that things are going really, really well. Over the past few months I've binged a handful of times and I've picked myself up straight back up again afterwards. I've been eating three proper meals and a reasonable number of calories pretty reliably almost every day and I'm getting to the point now where I don't have to plan it all in advance and I can eat out without researching the lowest cal dish in the resteraunt first, or go to my boyfriend's house and let him make me a sandwich. The thing is, it all started with stupidly small steps. Before I could go a month without binging, I had to go three days, and then a week, and then two weeks. Before I could happily eat spontaneous meals out with friends, I had my first ever pick and mix, not because I was sad or lonely or hated myself, but because I just FELT like having some goddamn pick and mix, and I didn't binge afterwards. And I don't know about you guys, but at first I felt stupid and pathetic for being proud of such tiny baby steps, but the thing is, those baby steps legitimately lead somewhere awesome eventually and we all completely deserve to be proud of them, no matter how tiny those victories seem to everyone else. Keep on going
    • #100
    #100

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...interests.html

    An interesting and shocking article in the DM today. The woman in question weighs just over 3st.

    Reading this made me realise, I don't want this anymore. I don't want to end up like that. I want a life for myself, starting today. I can beat this.
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...interests.html

    An interesting and shocking article in the DM today. The woman in question weighs just over 3st.

    Reading this made me realise, I don't want this anymore. I don't want to end up like that. I want a life for myself, starting today. I can beat this.
    Awful I don't know how I feel about this to be honest - on the one hand, she must be suffering mentally so badly, on the other I truly believe that *anyone* can recover, and her refusal to do so should be treated the same as if she'd been taken into A+E having overdosed on medication :dontknow:

    I hope she finds peace soon
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    Didn't even want to read it. I try to avoid stories etc on people with EDs, I never know what impact it might have on me. Sadly, it's a competitive/comparative disease. We all have our own fight, our own struggles and we can support/encourage one and other to get better but ultimately..it has to be YOU to overcome it.
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    Absolutely, Melissa. Scarily a mental disorder, and the people with them, are never the same in any two cases. You created the demon, you decide how it will affect you; whether subconsciously or otherwise.

    The strongest man on earth can be crippled by his thoughts, but equally a 3st woman has the potential to recover through spirit alone.
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    bad bad bad bad bad day. That feeling of your whole life crumbling around you? yep that sucks.
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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    bad bad bad bad bad day. That feeling of your whole life crumbling around you? yep that sucks.
    -huggging- and i'll make you a cup of tea. I don't care what the problem is, a cup of tea is the solution (I'm not accepting 'I don't like tea' as a valid response.).
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    -huggging- and i'll make you a cup of tea. I don't care what the problem is, a cup of tea is the solution (I'm not accepting 'I don't like tea' as a valid response.).
    I like tea :teeth: thank you

    I have a watch that had 8 links taken off literally tuesday and it's already back at the point of being twistable around my whole wrist (it's bangle style) and there's only 3 links left on it
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)

    Just had a CBT appointment and made a few surprise realisations regarding what may have started my disorder. Although what's done is done, it kinda feels like a massive burden off my shoulders for it to make sense a bit more now. We'd come up with other ideas before that it could of been but nothing had really CLICKED. This one does though, feels kinda liberating to understand my own actions/brain functions. I hate how out of control of yourself and your thoughts an ED can make you feel.

    I dunno the point of this post, random I guess. I just like that I feel I can be open.
    Would you recommend CBT? I've been offered it for my final year ... I've had to spend a lot of time in hospital over the summer for my ED but I don't feel any more in control of it. Kind of worried I'll end up in square one in a couple of weeks /:




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    I think the thing that is really doing my head in is just sheer confusion.

    I've written 2 letters tonight, will never get sent but just typing how I feel really helps :o:
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    (Original post by GooglyEyedMonster)
    Would you recommend CBT? I've been offered it for my final year ... I've had to spend a lot of time in hospital over the summer for my ED but I don't feel any more in control of it. Kind of worried I'll end up in square one in a couple of weeks /:




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    Yeah, I really would. I guess i'm a real creature of habit and I love routine etc, and this allowed me to get in a routine of coming to terms and overcoming the ED. It empowered me, like I was in charge of my own recovery.
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    Yeah, I really would. I guess i'm a real creature of habit and I love routine etc, and this allowed me to get in a routine of coming to terms and overcoming the ED. It empowered me, like I was in charge of my own recovery.
    I don't know if I'm ready for recovery ... That's what scares me I think. They tried to make me eat 'normally' for a week and I just couldn't do it and discharged myself. I thought I was ready so I agreed to try it. A healthy mindset just seems so, well, unhealthy.

    It's like my safety, the one thing I'm in control of (in an out of control way). Most of my friends have just graduated because I've repeated a year so I know final year is going to be tough enough.

    Did it cause you stress/anxiety for a long time after the session?


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    (Original post by GooglyEyedMonster)
    I don't know if I'm ready for recovery ... That's what scares me I think. They tried to make me eat 'normally' for a week and I just couldn't do it and discharged myself. I thought I was ready so I agreed to try it. A healthy mindset just seems so, well, unhealthy.

    It's like my safety, the one thing I'm in control of (in an out of control way). Most of my friends have just graduated because I've repeated a year so I know final year is going to be tough enough.

    Did it cause you stress/anxiety for a long time after the session?


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    To be honest, your last post caused more stress to me than all of my sessions put together. Please, please, give yourself a chance.
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    To be honest, your last post caused more stress to me than all of my sessions put together. Please, please, give yourself a chance.
    That really wasn't my intention, I'm sorry.

    I move back in less than a week and although excited to see one of my best friends, I know the next 5 weeks are going to be intense. Not to mention my Dr here at home is useless and reduced all my anti-depressants. I will definitely give CBT a go if it's helped you so much, I want to do a postgrad but I want to be well enough to do it well

    Xx


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    (Original post by GooglyEyedMonster)
    That really wasn't my intention, I'm sorry.

    I move back in less than a week and although excited to see one of my best friends, I know the next 5 weeks are going to be intense. Not to mention my Dr here at home is useless and reduced all my anti-depressants. I will definitely give CBT a go if it's helped you so much, I want to do a postgrad but I want to be well enough to do it well

    Xx


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    I think you should sweetie, even if it doesn't work out..you gave it a go. And you wont look back at any point like "what if.." - all my best wishes with you! X
 
 
 
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