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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    I'm sorry if some of my posts have caused alarm to any members due to the nature of my circumstances, it wasn't my intention <3

    I've binged this whole weekend and I feel like absolute crap as a result, however, I noticed my old tin of slimfast in the cupboard and I've decided I want to try it, but the real, healthy way.

    So as of tomorrow I'm doing the whole 3-2-1 plan but cutting out the 3 '100Kcal Snacks' and replacing it for 'as much fruit/veg/fat free yogurt as I want', doing the 2 shakes and then having 1 meal a day, but bumping it up to 600-700kcal instead of 500kcal. However, I am going to be trying to eat healthy as well, so I'm going to follow my mums Slimming World Extra Easy foods for my healthy meal - lean meats, quorn, vegetables etc.

    I'm adopting a whole clean eating approach as well, because before, restricting/binging/eating, I would eat whatever - no real thought went into it and it was absurdly unhealthy, but I want that to change.

    I'm also going to reduce my exercise and focus more on toning and strength as opposed to pure cardio, as I know it will help me lose weight but this should help my body shape change in a positive way, into the way I want it to - instead of reducing me to nothing.

    I know there will be bumps and restarts along the road, but I'm hoping I have the strength to pick myself back up and keep going until I am finally happy when I look in a mirror.
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    hi all, new to this forum, starting at exeter in september. i'd appreciate any advice people have for starting uni. already done the basics to prepare but i'd appreciate any advice anyone has about dealing with an ED at uni.
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    (Original post by mattonbass)
    hi all, new to this forum, starting at exeter in september. i'd appreciate any advice people have for starting uni. already done the basics to prepare but i'd appreciate any advice anyone has about dealing with an ED at uni.
    I go to Exeter

    I think the first thing you need to do is register at the student health centre and book an appointment. They can then refer you to university or county services to support you the best they can

    Xx


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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    I like tea :teeth: thank you

    I have a watch that had 8 links taken off literally tuesday and it's already back at the point of being twistable around my whole wrist (it's bangle style) and there's only 3 links left on it
    thats not good. bangles are so pretty, but i always manage to deform them. Tried to buy a bracelet for a friend last summer, she has rediculously delicate wrists. IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE. If I could but it on and it didnt stop until it met my knuckles, she'd lose it in 5 minutes flat.
    Spoiler:
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    I bought 3 pairs of jeans about 2 months ago, they're now too big. lost a stupid amount of weight too blooming quick during my exams. Haven't put any of it back on, and seem to have lost yet more, without meaning to, probably not helped by spending somewhere so cold every flipping weekend. AAAAand the university wants to know about ED's etc. Probably a good idea to tell them about this, but I've never been diagnosed - so in my head it doesn't 'count', how the hell do you explain/ categorise the fact that, had you been dragged to the doctors the last time you were this messed up, you would have met all but 2 of the criteria for AN?? If it couldnt get any worse, my period has gone bonkers. I'm so hoping this is just due to the state I got myself in over my results, yet I know it probably isn't.


    My 'friends' want to do a leaving do before me and another girl leaves for uni. she wants to go for an indian and then go clubbing, the day before I go to uni. I hate indian food,(and they know why, yet don't seem to give a ****.) and won't eat anything, and hate clubbing, but I can't get a word in edgeways. So that's what they'll end up doing. Thanks guys. Love you too.


    (Original post by mattonbass)
    hi all, new to this forum, starting at exeter in september. i'd appreciate any advice people have for starting uni. already done the basics to prepare but i'd appreciate any advice anyone has about dealing with an ED at uni.
    Jazzykinks is also at exeter, I think.
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    As was I, at Exeter. Blimey..I'm starting to notice a pattern. haha. It's Exeter's fault we're all ill!
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    As was I, at Exeter. Blimey..I'm starting to notice a pattern. haha. It's Exeter's fault we're all ill!
    Could lol at that ... Unfortunately mine started in 6th form!


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    (Original post by GooglyEyedMonster)
    Could lol at that ... Unfortunately mine started in 6th form!


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    Nah, mine did start then too. Was just trying to...lighten, the thread.

    Wrong choice of words. :rolleyes:
    If I can't laugh at myself, I'll just cry.
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    Nah, mine did start then too. Was just trying to...lighten, the thread.

    Wrong choice of words. :rolleyes:
    If I can't laugh at myself, I'll just cry.
    If it helps I tripped and fell out of my car in the adds car park ... Humiliating!!


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    You didn't trip..you were falling with style.
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    You didn't trip..you were falling with style.
    Too infinity ... And beyond!!!


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    (Original post by GooglyEyedMonster)
    Could lol at that ... Unfortunately mine started in 6th form!


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    It's a coincidence! year 9 for me. then relapsed like heck in April, but he doesnt know it, and even if he did I doubt he'd care. If he did, he'd start all this emotional blackmail bull****, using tears, threatening to tell my parents and crap like that.


    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    Nah, mine did start then too. Was just trying to...lighten, the thread.

    Wrong choice of words. :rolleyes:
    If I can't laugh at myself, I'll just cry.
    Definitely the wrong choice of words, but hysterically funny, considering...
    • #83
    #83

    First (relatively) good day in a while.
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    I've been stuck in a b/p cycle for weeks, doing it two or three times a day at least five days a week. Yesterday I felt really faint and my heartbeat went irregular, and was missing beats occasionally. It kinda freaked me out. And the other day I ended up cutting my throat, and it hurt like hell. I've eaten healthily today and avoided my binge foods, and I don't feel faint anymore but my heartbeat is still irregular. If this carries on, should I go to a GP about this? Would I have to tell them about my history of eating disorders? I've been thinking about going to a GP about this and my depression anyway, but I don't know if I'm ready, or what I would say exactly. I wish I had gone when I was anorexic, and had recovered properly rather than revert to my bulimic tendencies.
    I also realised today that I've been incredibly selfish the past few months. I haven't been working or doing anything productive, I've just been trying to diet and go to the gym all the time. I've been binging and getting caught in that cycle and totally secluding myself from my friends and family while in it. It's like nothing else exists in my life sometimes. I'm so tired of this, really want to get better once and for all I want to just be a healthy weight and eat normally and not think about calories and things so much.
    I've been depressed for so long now I can't imagine life any different. Starting uni (oxbridge) stressed me out so much that I tried to OD twice in the past year. I'm supposed to go back in october and I feel worse, not better. I don't want to end up doing that again. I don't know if maybe I should take a year out, or transfer? Or both.. I feel like I need to be in a better place with my ED and my depression before I can concentrate on anything else. I feel like I've wasted so much time and thought on this thing...
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    I have been In 'recovery' since December last year. I had anorexia for around 4 years and just turned 18. It destroyed almost every aspect of my life from my home/family life to my friendships to my grades dropping (still good but not as good as could of been). I started seeing a boy when I was 15 and at times it nearly ruined my relationship. I was unable to hit go for lunch at a restaurant and doing anything during the day required serious planning around food etc. I compulsively exercised and became very agitated and an emotional wreck of anything got in my way. I then lost 3 grandparents in a matter of months. My grandma always wanted me to get better and the reality of death hit me like a train. I didn't want to die and leave my family my boyfriend my life behind and I didn't want to live a life limited anymore. I want children when I'm older and I want to be able to be physically active and free to do as I want and go for spontaneous meals. They say the only person who can make it better is the sufferer themself. I woke up one friday morning and decided I wanted my life back for me. That night I went and ate pizza and chocolate. And it was hard but not impossible. Gradually I have gained weight. My body is functioning much better and I feel more alive and ready to live than ever before. I couldn't of done it without my support network, but at the end of the day I have done it alone I changed my own life and I feel so much happier for it. Anorexia will never leave me completely there will always be a part of me that watches my weight and I have days where I get anxious and upset but they are far fewer than the days where I embrace my more womanly body and my whereupon boyfriend complements me on my beautiful shape. It was worth it the pain and anxiety for the first few months to feel so free and able to enjoy the simple things like going to the pub for lunch whenever the hell I fancy!

    Anyone can fight anorexia so long as they really want to.


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    Anon, that is uplifting!!

    The variable I've found to work best .. Is another being!!

    "WANT TO ORDER DOMINOS?" "WILL WE GO OUT?"- uni flatmates literally change up the game. Initially you hate it. It is YOUR ROUTINE they're disrupting. Then you slowly start to give... Oh yeah, it's normal to eat pizza when it's cheap deals. It's NORMAL that we go to McDonald'sbefore lectures instead of weighinga chicken fillet for home made salad.

    uni-bound peeps. This is great for you. Embrace... Even when you think your stupid disease is correct.
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    As was I, at Exeter. Blimey..I'm starting to notice a pattern. haha. It's Exeter's fault we're all ill!
    LOL to be honest, whenever I'm walking around campus or in the gym, I see loads of people that clearly have EDs...x

    (Original post by mattonbass)
    hi all, new to this forum, starting at exeter in september. i'd appreciate any advice people have for starting uni. already done the basics to prepare but i'd appreciate any advice anyone has about dealing with an ED at uni.
    Indeed, I am at Exeter and I've already done my freshers year! It can be quite scary but you'll survive. I didn't have my ED when I started (recovered already) but here to help! x
    • #48
    #48

    Vodka, I'm certain, is one of the most under-rated solutions to life's problems.
    • #125
    #125

    This can be so consuming, and the ways in which you feel you have failed because of the consumption - by letting down others, being unable to fully participate, wasting time and attention that should have been spent on a pressing matter locked in cycles of compulsive activity - feed it further. I shouldn't be sat here right now, but it's come to not being able to get on with anything else after the last two hours' events. It is so more easily said than done but I feel essentially the answer now is not to feed the monster and it will grow weaker, and be easier to keep at bay, and to ignore. Concentrate on devotion to life, and using it well, fulfilling a purpose and seeing the worth of you, but at full sail and strength, not half eaten-at, not filled with an unwelcome host, not too tired from battle with your own head to give yourself to fight for the causes in the real world that you believe in.

    "Every day is a chance to change the story"

    People have been talking about small steps and tiny personal victories and they are so absolutely right. "I'm going to turn my life around starting from tomorrow!" is a great ambition to have, at a low point making that resolve just lifts your hopes a bit, or the therapeutic nature of making lists and time-tables for your progress may help halt a spiral of negativity, but if it's not realistic it may well lead to a feeling of failure and being trapped or despairing at the first step that's tripped on, making it difficult to get back up and dust yourself off. A flexible, general idea of long-term goals is helpful but just deciding what would have to happen for tomorrow to end with you feeling it was a good day and a step in the right direction, then following it through, is a more manageable place to start.

    It's a powerful beast, especially if you've allowed it to feed on you for a long time and it can be so persuasive when it's hungry, so overcoming it is hard but it's oh so worth it. Its fabric is falsehoods, delusions, distortions and its strategy is to keep you believing you are fixed, so the way to tear it apart is with logic, truth, clarity and proving you have the ability to change thought and behaviour patterns.

    I believe in you, your ability to beat this and what a win it will be for the world to have the whole of you and what you have to offer. The traits that you are likely to have to be in this position, such as sensitivity, concern, the need for order and achievement/improvement, being a little off-centre in the head, even, are qualities that are also so valuable and needed in life, and you will be able to do great things with when life is won.

    So, yes. That one time you manage to go to a restaurant with your flatmates. Don't worry about it taken in context, it doesn't matter if you can't do it again for another month, be there in the moment and feel proud, wait until the next step to deal with the next step, and don't forget to look at how far you've come when you are feeling daunted by the road ahead xx
    • #37
    #37

    Okay so I know this issue has already been addressed so please ignore this post... (writing things down on here really seems to help get my head straight)
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    I'm recovered but starting uni in september... I'm scared of the first week. Like cooking with a load of strangers just seems terrifying. Also I don't know how much like freezer and fridge space i'll have :/ I've been cooking for myself since I was 14 (maybe something to do with my ed) but the fact i'll be with other people scares me alittle...
    I guess this is something I will just have to cope with but things like eating takeaway pizza make me feel slightly ill. By principle I make my own.. but on freshers week that's not really feasable is it?
    Eurgh, this is just a moan I guess. I hope uni will be okay and this is just unnecassary worry which I should forget about


    Just wanted to say thank you to people on here as well. At times you've provided me with clarity in my thoughts Keep fighting, it's worth it.
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    I don't care if it was in humour or not, but last anon, alcohol merely strengthened my ED; I would (and still will) offset my food intake to account for alcohol calories; a terrible, even MORE dangerous situation.

    To even joke about it is pretty poor show. Rep down.
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    Find a specialist who focuses on excessive consuming conditions. Most doctors who work with consuming conditions practice intellectual behavior therapy, which details the actual problems that cause the behavior. They address the individual's behaviour toward consuming as well as problems around body image and self-esteem.
 
 
 
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