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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    Hah. I've often considered that. A photograph is a singular, unflinching frame, of static lighting, of imperfect pose. When we look in the mirror we see 3d, a twisting, turning frame of meticulous fuss.

    Truth be told that photographs are so imperfect; a singular strand, a one, finite glance at a particular moment. "smiiiile!!" they say! Because a photograph records an instant, never a constant. Do you love your husband? Your children? Are you beautiful? Sexy? Refined? Sophisticated? Demure? Elegant? Flirty? Graceful? A photograph will never know.

    You will know. Carried in your memory. The truth is not a piece of paper printed with an image of the instant. The truth is the feeling your soul will remember forever. Xxx
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    Beautiful, Toto. I 'awwed' out loud

    It's true. The same picture looks different to each person viewing it. Your mind can choose to see fat whether it's there or not. Behind the most sincere, happy smile you could see pain and suffering. Every little thing is shaped by how you choose to see it. You could see more fat than what is 'perfect' to you - or you could see the whole picture (literally) and what is really important
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    Ugh I hate pictures. I always blink > _ < much prefer short home videos or just whatever my nan rattles on about when I was a young lad.
    Apart from when she mentions me doing the hokey-kokey at Haven...yeahhh.

    Weddings are supposed to be fun!

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    With my mum having just got married I vowed not to let the disorder win for at least 24 hours, it would have broke my heart to see her so upset on her special day, and it didn't come up, wedding cake and all. All the family. Dancing. A bad comedian to boot. :P
    It was her day. It was lovely. I was bitter the night before because this feller's not my dad and it seemed so much change all at once but, well, they love each other, right? And Dad's happy with someone too. I'm not exactly being thrown to the wolves since they both love me dearly and have helped me through this, so I'm going to try and return the favour, accept that this union is for the best for all of us (because it really is), and move on.
    I'm feeling better already for letting go. Not free yet, gets worse before it gets better right? But at least I'll do something bad and then go 'hang on, what was that about?' and stop it in its tracks. There isn't as much of an inclination to cling to something that'll hurt me anymore.



    This wedding will be your day. Not the day of the ED, Rubixcyoob's day. Enjoy it! It's one of the greatest celebrations of life.

    At the end of the day people will remember how you made them feel. I am finally starting to realise no-one particularly cares or judges you based on how you look and certainly not how you think you look, they just want to see you happy and healthy. From that comes the inner charm. If you can make someone laugh or smile and do the same for yourself, you will always be remembered fondly no matter how you regarded yourself, for that's the essence of health and happiness; and in time you will see yourself in the same high esteem others do.
    Didn't really need to say that since there's obviously a lucky bloke somewhere and you've made him feel so good, he's prepared to share his life with you! You've already found that light of positivity within yourself we all need to search for, and shared it with someone you hold dear. Don't try to blow it out on yourself! x
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    Riku's words are wise ol' natterings.

    Wedding. WEDDING. The happiest day of your life, so they say!! Come on now, an ED can spoil a saturday by stealing it away from you, destroying your friends' day out you all had planned.

    An ED can even destroy a BIRTHDAY, a sacred day of celebration that comes one time a year, by telling you not to eat your own birthday cake.

    But your WEDDING?! Rubix, NOTHING should ruin THAT day. X
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    http://melissachapman.co.uk/beauty/
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    That was beautiful
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    Melissa, you are an incredible writer. Really. I don't know how you managed to describe all that encompasses 'beauty' in such an articulate way. I rarely get watery around the eye region (usually Disney's fox and the hound does it, but that's neither here nor there), however that made me shed physical tears.

    Lots of hat tipping and regal bowing to you lambkin x
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    Thank you for sharing this. I needed this tonight. The message itself is beauty.
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    I'm finding it super hard today...

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    Whenever I eat I feel so horrible the only I can feel any better is through cutting myself. I can only be happy if I'm not eating. I feel so fat and greedy and full and out of control. I've been trying to fight it and eat each day. I convince myself I'm allowed supper because I haven't eaten all day but once I start it's so hard to stop and I binge and then cut. This is a real mess.
    • #137
    #137

    Can anyone relate to this? 4 months after discharge I'm really missing hospital. I was there 10 months. I was on a Section 3 and hated and fought against it at the time and was so glad to get out, but part of me actually WANTS to go back now. I feel like such an attention-seeking faker for thinking this way. I'm also having thoughts of how if I'd ever had any real problem I would have been re-admitted, as some people I know have. This illness is such a head****.
    • #48
    #48

    Signed up for the gym. After induction we were allowed to stay and work out so I think I did about 50 minutes (including warm ups and some machines) and now I'm knackered.

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    Can't bring myself to eat anything, any time I look at anything a voice in my head goes 'well, it's pointless working out if you eat that now...' :sad:


    Have a counselling appointment on Monday, primarily for anxiety but I rambled on a bit too much about my issues with food and self worth, terrified that the counsellor is going to be all up in my face about it
    • #81
    #81

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    Off my diet but still going through with the motions.

    When will this ****ing end. Argh!?!
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    (Original post by x-Disenchanted-x)
    Thank you for sharing this. I needed this tonight. The message itself is beauty.
    If one person can take something from it, then it was totally worth writing. I hope you feel better today.
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    (Original post by x-Disenchanted-x)
    That would be a truly jurassic disorder
    Yeah, extincts. I mean..it stinks...
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    When you're just trying to have one normal day of eating well and not bingeing, and your family surrounds you with masses of junk food. ffs. Just wanna go to uni, I can't sustain anything here.
    • #83
    #83

    I feel so fat today, don't even want to go out with my friends. I swear my stomach has expanded lots since this morning. And I've eaten 'normally' today but just feel like I've binged all day
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel so fat today, don't even want to go out with my friends. I swear my stomach has expanded lots since this morning. And I've eaten 'normally' today but just feel like I've binged all day
    Please go out with your friends, do NOT let this illness destroy something as precious as enjoying your friendships. Your friends love you, that evil voice in your head is built out of something other than love.
    Never will there be a time when you say "Wow I wish I hadn't gone out with my friends that night, I should have stayed home and criticized myself in the mirror," yet you never want to find yourself in the position where you say "If only I'd spent more time with my friends."
    Please be strong and ignore that voice, as overpowering and as real as it may seem.
    Never let it destroy the relationships you've built over the years, it will never be worth it.
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    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    If one person can take something from it, then it was totally worth writing. I hope you feel better today.
    Your words did make a difference I've had a rough week but suddenly things are falling into place and I'm feeling stronger mentally. Hope you're good too!
    • #83
    #83

    (Original post by x-Disenchanted-x)
    Please go out with your friends, do NOT let this illness destroy something as precious as enjoying your friendships. Your friends love you, that evil voice in your head is built out of something other than love.
    Never will there be a time when you say "Wow I wish I hadn't gone out with my friends that night, I should have stayed home and criticized myself in the mirror," yet you never want to find yourself in the position where you say "If only I'd spent more time with my friends."
    Please be strong and ignore that voice, as overpowering and as real as it may seem.
    Never let it destroy the relationships you've built over the years, it will never be worth it.
    I feel like it already has destroyed my friendships. When I'm out I'm constantly thinking that people think I'm fat and ugly, and it turns me into this shy, quiet person that I'm not
    Thank you, I'll try.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like it already has destroyed my friendships. When I'm out I'm constantly thinking that people think I'm fat and ugly, and it turns me into this shy, quiet person that I'm not
    Thank you, I'll try.
    *hugs* You can do this. Even if you feel you can't speak about these demons to your friends, there's always someone here who will understand you.
 
 
 
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