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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

    • #139
    #139

    800 cal per day is a reasonable upper limit, right?
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    800 cal per day is a reasonable upper limit, right?
    For an overweight 4 year old, sure.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    800 cal per day is a reasonable upper limit, right?

    Not enough calories.I read somewhere that your brain needs around 500 calories just to function and carry out its tasks daily.So 800 calories isnt anywhere near enough to run a fully grown human body.
    • #139
    #139

    I'd been on ~1000 for a while and just piling weight on :sigh:
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    I hate it when you know you've eaten too much and everyone just brushes it off as you being irrational over it when you actually have eaten way too much for a normal 19 YO girl. Getting so frustrated at the moment.

    Eurgh sod it, reasonable diet starts tomorrow
    timewarpy, you're small enough as it is. you do NOT need to diet. If you do that, you'll disappear! Going out for a friends birthday with the flatmates. can't decide what i want, don't know what i can have without her making comments 'ooh, thats not very healthy, do you know how many calories are in that'
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    timewarpy, you're small enough as it is. you do NOT need to diet. If you do that, you'll disappear! Going out for a friends birthday with the flatmates. can't decide what i want, don't know what i can have without her making comments 'ooh, thats not very healthy, do you know how many calories are in that'
    I'm definitely not that small, I've put loads of weight on recently. May have accidently got myself discharged (missed 2 appointments) but it's nice knowing I don't need to worry about appointments/weighings and can just get on with it, seeing as I know what my body can handle better than anyone else :o:

    Ignore her, honestly. It's almost like she has her own insecurities that are causing her comments to people. Or just subtly say 'I don't appreciate the comments about what I eat' and leave it at that. If she carries on after that then she isn't worth it.
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    I don't know if i've made much progress or just switched restriction with binge-restrict. It kind of sucks when I think that I may be exactly where I was 1 year ago But i'm not in reality because it's all a journey and i've learnt a lot. I need to remember that whenever something is bothering me i'm not an idiot for having feelings and there are ways of coping. Being normal and happy is a good enough reason to fight and I remember how much is relying on it and manage to keep my head above water. I definitely should get counselling though. Like you, Diamond, my ED is screaming at me that i've put on too much weight for help but it just can't be true because this is a mental disorder.

    Riku everyone has their demons and no one expected to be perfect. You wouldn't someone you are dating to be completely perfect!

    Jazzy that is so amazing and beautiful. It is one of the many many reasons I want to be healthy too.

    OH FYI guys I have literally ditched the scales. It's crazy scary but so needed. BMI talk:
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    So I told myself before recovering that if I gain to 17.6 I am out of the danger zone. I was happy with the weight, but no... it wasn't enough and despite what I told myself I knew I wasn't strong. So I decided 18.6 .. well that came around and my obsessions over food didn't improve. My ravenous hunger didn't improve even though I was technically a healthy weight. I so so wanted to maintain over this weight but even on 2000 calories (and a few times over) it is now 20! I cannot tell you the difference it has made to my mental state. For example I really couldn't care less what everyone else has been eating or getting an exactly X calorie lunch consisting of the right % of the food groups. No I am not happy with my weight and want to loose which has led to restriction and then binge and then a bit of a breakdown - but I want to live MORE. The scales are gone and I am trying to focus on not giving into either disorder and with some regular exercise I will maybe loose some body fat anyway.

    Now I just need to force myself to go back to the doctor
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    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    This is definitely right. When I was at my worst, I felt like I was strong enough to climb Mt Everest, although if I even tried to climb up a couple of flights of stairs I would have just passed out. That's the thing about an ED, it just tricks you. The mind is a powerful thing...arguably more powerful when it's ill. Well done on doing the meal plan hope it goes well. Being an IP is not fun! x
    I know! I think I'm coping but on a day when I have actually eaten (like today) I feel so much more together. I had quite a bad day yesterday where I had saved up calories so I could have pizza that evening and got off the train at the wrong stop and took a bus before I realised :eek: Then it dawned on me my brain isn't functioning at all... I've binged today on 4000 calories but I feel like since I need to gain a lot this week it isn't *that* much of a problem. Next week I shall stop meal plan proper and hopefully that will stop the binging that is a new problem since Friday.




    Guys I have big news! I somehow found myself telling my mum everything today (before she had no inkling) and she took it really well! She is coming to my weigh-in tomorrow and I'm pretty certain I have gained from these stupid binges so I shall avoid IP by the skin of my teeth. My mother's background is as a mental health nurse so she didn't react really and was very supportive. She has done shift work at the unit they have applied for me to get a bed at and so knows the ropes and is going to help me follow the meal plan so I can stay out. She doesn't think it would be a good place for me to go unless absolutely necessarily and I don't want to go so win-win. We're going to try and negotiate more intensive outpatient with her as my carer so IP isn't needed. For the first time in a while I feel optimistic and like I can actually have a life without a disorder. While a huge part of me is screaming that I am not sick enough for any treatment and that I have somehow failed if I don't end up in hospital I am trying to ignore it. And it's such a relief to not be secretive and being able talk about calorie concerns with her. She is buying me a food blender so I can make milkshake and smoothie and soups which I don't feel so bad about eating and which can give me nutrients, and later I am helping her cook which sounds stupid but I haven't been allowed in the kitchen for years because it's a building site. I think seeing what is going into what she gives me will make me more calm. (She’s moving a chopping board onto the living room table so I can chop things haha).

    Yeah, sorry for the long ramble. But I am going to give this recovery thing a good go. Even though I don't really think I am that sick it's stopping me do stuff I want to do and I’m miserable so it's best to do everything the doctor's tell me right?
    • #48
    #48

    Really, really want to go to the gym, but my anxiety is just pissing all over that.

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    Eaten dinner (a piece of mackerel and 1/3 pack of cous cous, little apple for dessert) and even though it's the only thing I've eaten since lunch time yesterday I feel bloated and sick. :sad: I felt better before I ate...
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    (Original post by Violet_apple)
    x
    Sounds like you are doing really really well And it's wonderful that you have a mother that can really support you.
    Like DD I really reccommend Gwyneth Olwyn's site particularly this article for you Violet
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, Jazzy. Most of my friends understand and have supported me the whole way through recovery. It's this girl I'm seeing, it hasn't been long. I don't want to put her in an impossible situation.
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    I think she is a foodie : / this is gonna be fun. There's a free food stall on campus and she's saying come with her, but aargh I'm scared, I already ate out with her yesterday! I did a little sleep-mood-behaviour experiment which has gone exactly as I predicted but feel awful from it now so it really wasn't the best day fml


    So much about the baby! You deserve this, the chance to have your own family. :hugs:
    Hmmm, sounds like you may have to say something. The worst thing to do is hide it because then you'll withdraw from her and she'll sense something is wrong and perhaps blame herself.

    Awww thanks I don't want to keep it but it just feels like an achievement that I'm healthy enough to be able to have one. It's just rubbish timing and I'm a wuss too lol x
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    Sounds like you are doing really really well And it's wonderful that you have a mother that can really support you.
    Like DD I really reccommend Gwyneth Olwyn's site particularly this article for you Violet
    Thank you To be honest I was surprised she took it so well, so I have an inkling that she doesn't know how serious this possibly is but that doesn't matter really! I feel like we're now the most close we've ever been which is really good.

    Thanks for the site I shall have a ramble through it.
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    Managed to get myself discharged yesterday, everyone is telling me this is a really dumb idea but I don't need it anymore
    • Thread Starter
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    Timewarp, you definitely seem ED-Centric from the content of your messages so no offence but I feel that way, my dear.

    I don't speak to hurt, my love, but that did seem like a silly option; my opinion as an outsider, given the info you supplied and your feelings.
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Timewarp, you definitely seem ED-Centric from the content of your messages so no offence but I free my dear.

    I don't speak to hurt xxx
    Quoted for truth.
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    I'm fine


    Well, other than getting myself arrested thanks to drinking way too much
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    I'm fine


    Well, other than getting myself arrested thanks to drinking way too much
    :/ Take it easy kid :hugs: (Though I suppose being arrested for drinking too much is a step above being taken to hospital for the same )

    --

    Not doing so well myself. Cue massive stream of conciousness:

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    I'm in this massive, restrict and exercise drive, and if I can't, then all I can do is self harm to stop myself from breaking down. It's constant. I gave up for a while but relapsed hard last night and now it's always on my mind. In the past it was never this constant burning desire - the whole five years I did it, it was more of a chill out thing. Now I just want to do it all the time, it's like I've turned a tap on or something.
    I haven't done any of my uni work yet (though I have managed to barter with myself today - two hours of uni work and I can go to the gym for an hour or so) and I'm oversleeping lectures, missing appointments and generally failing at life. I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday to get a medical note so I can change one of my small groups (and thus go home more often, as I won't be missing it) but I've already decided that I'm not going to tell them anything. All they want to do is put me on ADs which make me suicidal so no. Besides, fairly certain no doctor would entertain my ideas of an 'eating disorder' when I'm so fat still. :rolleyes:
    I figure I can lose some more weight before anyone notices, not like there's anyone around here who cares anyway.
    • #139
    #139

    apparantly I was really close to being sectioned last night
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    If anyone has an iPhone/Android phone and hasn't downloaded it already, there's a fantastic free CBT app called "Recovery Record". Rewards you when you log meals/thoughts and gives you subtle reminders and positive affirmations. I think it will certainly be a great aid to recovery to some of you guys too!
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    want to go Veggie. Can't tell if its me who wants this, or my ED...
 
 
 
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