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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. Watch

    • #48
    #48

    My fish at dinner was full of bones. Cue about two hours sat panicking over whether or not they could kill me... :rolleyes:

    Also today I discovered:
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    I can do a full, 55 minute, 375 calorie burning workout on just a small bowl of porridge. Not sure if this is a good fact to know or not :holmes:
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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    I'm fine
    Yeah, we all say that, even when we're not. You're not fine, sorry to say. Have to agree with Toto. Then again, no one can make you realise that -- only you can. x
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    want to go Veggie. Can't tell if its me who wants this, or my ED...
    The fact you needed to ask this, your ED. Being a veggie isn't about a phase or a "I fancy it" - not for us anyway. It's another way of restricting/excuse yourself from eating things/controlling your diet to an extreme

    plus.
    Bacon girl, bacon!
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    (Original post by x-Disenchanted-x)
    If anyone has an iPhone/Android phone and hasn't downloaded it already, there's a fantastic free CBT app called "Recovery Record". Rewards you when you log meals/thoughts and gives you subtle reminders and positive affirmations. I think it will certainly be a great aid to recovery to some of you guys too!
    I've been using this since I started my meal plan two days ago! haha, It's been really helpful to me especially because I am obsessive when it comes to logging things and I usually use my ipod to log how little I'm eating and to look at proana etc etc. This way my obsessiveness is channelled into something good.




    They're cancelling my inpatient bed! I'm having a bit of a freakout that I'm trying to suppress because I somehow managed to put on several pounds in a week and I don't know how that is possible. :confused: The only way I could have put on this much is if my body clung to every calorie and if food packages lie about the number of calories they contain. :eek:

    I followed the meal plan exactly yesterday and I'm going for another day today. I don't know what's going to happen when I get to my fear weight though. I'll probably stop trying to gain anything...but I've been put on a fast track waiting list for treatment and I've been told I'll be taken off if I don't continue to improve. I also really don't want to go IP so...

    The only bad thing is that some more of my test results came back and my blood count is really low. I'm meant to be taking it easy because my immune system is compromised or something. For some reason I've been feeling more weak and ill this week despite eating more. Go figure...:rolleyes:

    Hope other peeps are doing good.
    • #139
    #139

    Somehow not eaten since friday, whoops
    • #48
    #48

    Not having a good time atm.

    I keep sleeping in (like, 13 hours of sleep at a time) and having really bad nightmares. Last night dreamt I was fat (at my original weight) again and my BF wouldn't talk to me because of it. :sad:
    • #48
    #48

    I know the scales are bad. I know I shouldn't care what they say. I even know that they can say different things depending on carpet, placement in the room (floorboards), **** it, even temperature can affect them. I know that my bedroom has a very odd carpet and very uneven floorboards.

    So why do I ****ing weigh myself and get upset at the results?

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    Apparently I've gained 1stone in 3 weeks, even though I've restricted heavily, fasted a few days and been to the gym at least twice a week.


    :cry:

    I'm sorry to keep posting but I dunno where else to go. I need a blog maybe.
    • #81
    #81

    Presentation on Friday and my voice is still hoarse from several days of vomiting ****!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Presentation on Friday and my voice is still hoarse from several days of vomiting ****!
    Well, without sounding too much like Grumpy Mumsie, you an only see this as your own fault and a bi punishment for causing so much internal trauma to your body; put it this way, if you're experiencing such massive damage to your larynx that your throat hurts, think how much acid damage your oesophagus lining/upper stomach and sphincters have taken.

    Another very very resounding thing my therapist told me, and a very true one, is "Everything is far more concentrated at the centre in this universe, right? So if you think about your skin, and your outer appearance, this is the LEAST concentrated damage in your body you can see."
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    Just had to say no to Carnage UK with some mates because they don't fully know about my anxiety, already had an all-nighter this weekend, got coursework to do and just tried trekking round London on 2 hour's sleep, but I feel really terrible for for saying no sense it's partly being afraid and want to binge now or just not sleep anyway as punishment
    At the same time even some of my best friends currently find me boring and I'm being pitied just AARGH
    How the hell am I supposed to be myself, I'll be judged whether I do good or bad things to my body and mind
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by Riku)
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    Just had to say no to Carnage UK with some mates because they don't fully know about my anxiety, already had an all-nighter this weekend, got coursework to do and just tried trekking round London on 2 hour's sleep, but I feel really terrible for for saying no sense it's partly being afraid and want to binge now or just not sleep anyway as punishment
    At the same time even some of my best friends currently find me boring and I'm being pitied just AARGH
    How the hell am I supposed to be myself, I'll be judged whether I do good or bad things to my body and mind
    To be frank mate, Carnage is a waste of time anyway. It's crowded, the bars triple their prices, and you get complete nobheads on it. :hugs:

    I'm going out with my house for the first time on Thursday - us girls are doing cocktails at the local cocktail bar. Haven't told them that drinking is very bad for me mentally yet :erm: Not sure how to handle it tbh, to go and hope that I'm ok with it (unlikely as cocktails are my kryptonite) or to tell them or not go or what.
    • #43
    #43

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To be frank mate, Carnage is a waste of time anyway. It's crowded, the bars triple their prices, and you get complete nobheads on it. :hugs:

    I'm going out with my house for the first time on Thursday - us girls are doing cocktails at the local cocktail bar. Haven't told them that drinking is very bad for me mentally yet :erm: Not sure how to handle it tbh, to go and hope that I'm ok with it (unlikely as cocktails are my kryptonite) or to tell them or not go or what.
    Aww, thanks. Guess you're right Still, the hype about it's made me feel left out.

    I'd still go because you don't want to appear antisocial, but just because everyone else is drinking doesn't mean you have to (hard to avoid the peer pressure though, I know). Cocktails take a while to drink anyway so maybe if you want you could have the one and pretend you're really trying to savour it? Of course that's only if you realy want to and feel you'll be alright. If you feel it's motivated by peer pressure or escaping at all then it's best not to.
    Then, once you've got to know them and decided whether they're nice enough to hang out with or just going to judge you for not drinking, you can decide what to do in future. Maybe see if they want to go out and do something which doesn't involve drinking like seeing a film or shopping? Unless they're complete bores they'll be open to variety.
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    I just wrote an article for a local online blog that slated the fact that gym membership was available to all and sundry so long as they paid up. There's a big issue of anorexics and bulimics being able to get gym membership because there's no health-monitoring like BMI, blood pressure etc.

    I thought I was just doing the right thing. Just got loads of hate comments instead.
    • #81
    #81

    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    I just wrote an article for a local online blog that slated the fact that gym membership was available to all and sundry so long as they paid up. There's a big issue of anorexics and bulimics being able to get gym membership because there's no health-monitoring like BMI, blood pressure etc.

    I thought I was just doing the right thing. Just got loads of hate comments instead.
    Link?

    sounds interesting
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    I don't have the energy to recap my ED history but my GP referred me to the eating disorder service or whatever.

    I can't handle all these thoughts :cry:
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    (Original post by Aemiliana)
    I don't have the energy to recap my ED history but my GP referred me to the eating disorder service or whatever.

    I can't: handle all these thoughts :cry:
    :hugs:
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    Want to talk about it? x
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    (Original post by Riku)
    :hugs:
    Attachment 177704
    Want to talk about it? x
    I don't have the energy to write it out again but I wrote it in the mental health soc. I don't want to trigger anyone here.
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    Starting to think maybe getting discharged wasn't such a good idea afterall

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    Ate today for the first time since friday and had an absolute pig out :doh:
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aww, thanks. Guess you're right Still, the hype about it's made me feel left out.

    I'd still go because you don't want to appear antisocial, but just because everyone else is drinking doesn't mean you have to (hard to avoid the peer pressure though, I know). Cocktails take a while to drink anyway so maybe if you want you could have the one and pretend you're really trying to savour it? Of course that's only if you realy want to and feel you'll be alright. If you feel it's motivated by peer pressure or escaping at all then it's best not to.
    Then, once you've got to know them and decided whether they're nice enough to hang out with or just going to judge you for not drinking, you can decide what to do in future. Maybe see if they want to go out and do something which doesn't involve drinking like seeing a film or shopping? Unless they're complete bores they'll be open to variety.
    Oh they're definitely up for variety, but it's 4 weeks since we moved in and we haven't been out together as a group yet so I understand where they're coming from on wanting to go for cocktails!

    As it's buy one get one free I'll buy two that I *know* I like and then take ages to drink them I think. If I feel fine after that, I can have one more maybe. But I must feel ok.

    I'd rather avoiding telling them because IME it just leads to trouble... Thank you :hugs:
    • #139
    #139

    Girly one..

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    Obviously thanks to EDs playing havoic with periods, at what point should i start becoming worried about being late? Mine hadn't stopped completely, just a bit erratic but it's been 7 weeks...
 
 
 
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