Turn on thread page Beta

Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    ^^ that was me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    ^^ that was me.
    Aha, fair points. Actually, isn't Dumbledore like..dead? DON'T DIE TOTO
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    Aha, fair points. Actually, isn't Dumbledore like..dead? DON'T DIE TOTO
    DUMBLEDORE DOES NOT DIE UNTIL THE LAST PERSON WHO GREW UP WITH THE HP BOOKS DIES. OKAY? woah. caps.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I have to be honest with myself and what i've been doing. This is bulimia and a growing dependence on alcohol. It's just swapping one bad coping thing for another. I am completely out of control even though i'm trying so hard and I don't want to let everyone down!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinnie)
    I have to be honest with myself and what i've been doing. This is bulimia and a growing dependence on alcohol. It's just swapping one bad coping thing for another. I am completely out of control even though i'm trying so hard and I don't want to let everyone down!
    -cuddles- Atleast you know you're doing it? Beats not realiseing i suppose?
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinnie)
    I have to be honest with myself and what i've been doing. This is bulimia and a growing dependence on alcohol. It's just swapping one bad coping thing for another. I am completely out of control even though i'm trying so hard and I don't want to let everyone down!
    *hugs* It's okay. It's good that you know what is happening and that you can admit it to yourself; that's a good first step. You may be out of control right now but that doesn't mean you can't be in control. From experience though, I would say the alcohol is slightly easier to kick. One step at a time x
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Big :hug: to Cinnie. You're not in denial which is very good-acceptance is the first stage to recovery!

    Well I'd hate to think it was something as relatively petty as a deadline coming up, but I've taken a massive turn for the worse
    Spoiler:
    Show

    I've just kinda remembered I don't have a bloody clue what I'm doing a degree for and without the stupid weight goals I feel like I'm going nowhere, that turned into a full-on depression relapse which sucks a bit, health and mood has gone to pot again, I'm doing what I can to ruin it and I've skipped more lectures this year than last so might fail this first semester..
    Requesting antidepressants temporarily too because its gone beyond persistent worry to being unhealthily angry and disillusioned and I'm not just being careless with food : / Then I get angry because I don't know what I'm getting so wound up about/my problem isn't that bad, compare myself to my mentally well and pretty normal brother and sister who have their careers mapped out and secure, so inevitably feel worse than them and on the self-pity cycle goes. I really do not know where life's going.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    when i signed up for this i knew i'd be up to my tits in lab writeups and lectures, but i didnt realise I'd signed up to exist in a permanent state of exhaustedness. I've been in bed by 10 every night since thursday. I've wanted to be in bed since half 4 this afternoon. But I can't. i have tutorial questions to finish and a lab writeup to complete for tomorrow.
    • #48
    #48

    Literally this last week - since my cat was put down - all I've wanted to do is eat constantly. I've eaten 6 square meals a day and I'm still hungry :erm: I can't seem to turn it off. I've not been able to go to the gym because I've been ill with a cold/cough so I feel like a blob right now. But my 'small' jeans are still fitting me so I'm trying not to panic about it too much yet.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Snow, Anon-time-out, people! You both need some down-time to recharge when getting caught up in life's demands. If you're too busy to relax, you're too busy!
    For me it's listening to Marina and the Diamonds without being logged on to Facebook, doing work or whatever-just me and the music. It's extremely cathartic! I don't know, I still don't have a clue where life's going and haven't done any work :P but that act of taking care of myself-even though it feels in many ways unnatural now-has made me feel a little better about things. Hope this can help. x
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Riku

    Anyone who thinks they know where their life is going is probably wrong. You feel out of control which is understandable... but honestly, the important thing is that you are trying your best at something you enjoy learning about. Education is about learning remember... it's not just cramming for exams and setting up a career that school rammed into you.

    Don't compare yourself to other people, you have lots of great qualities too. You seem really caring and thoughtful. :hugs:
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Snow... is it possible that partly the reason you are so exhausted is because you are not getting enough fuel?
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by Cinnie)
    Snow... is it possible that partly the reason you are so exhausted is because you are not getting enough fuel?
    it could be, but i don't even know. could explain how i devoured far too many choc biccies when i tried to do my lab writeup between lectures this afternoon. nearly ended up walking out of my maths lecture this morning as i felt so on edge. got last weeks lab writeup back, got an A+. couldnt stop shaking for 5 minutes afterwards, nearly didnt go and get help for this weeks lab writeup from the lab manager for 1st year. Seriously, if he could see how much i shake when answering these prelabs, he'd feel so guilty about putting me through this every week. havent answered all of the questions on the tutorial booklet - as per bloody normal. I swear my tutor thinks I'm lazy, either that, or stupid.
    In a moment of complete and utter insantiy i've decided to study die verwandlung for my speaking exam in december. have hardly read any of it, hardly understand it.
    I honestly think I'm going mad and how i'm forcing 3 meals down a day i do not know, i'm forcing food down when the clock says i should eat, not when i'm hungry. I havent felt hungry in months. All of this walking I'm doing isnt helping, but i havent a choice.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it could be, but i don't even know. could explain how i devoured far too many choc biccies when i tried to do my lab writeup between lectures this afternoon. nearly ended up walking out of my maths lecture this morning as i felt so on edge. got last weeks lab writeup back, got an A+. couldnt stop shaking for 5 minutes afterwards, nearly didnt go and get help for this weeks lab writeup from the lab manager for 1st year. Seriously, if he could see how much i shake when answering these prelabs, he'd feel so guilty about putting me through this every week. havent answered all of the questions on the tutorial booklet - as per bloody normal. I swear my tutor thinks I'm lazy, either that, or stupid.
    In a moment of complete and utter insantiy i've decided to study die verwandlung for my speaking exam in december. have hardly read any of it, hardly understand it.
    I honestly think I'm going mad and how i'm forcing 3 meals down a day i do not know, i'm forcing food down when the clock says i should eat, not when i'm hungry. I havent felt hungry in months. All of this walking I'm doing isnt helping, but i havent a choice.
    These things you're saying about what your Tutor thinks of you, I'm very sure that's not true. In fact, it's probably the opposite..if he felt you weren't capable he wouldn't set the tasks. Beware, I think it may be more true that it's what you think about yourself. Stop beating yourself up; life isn't there to be endured, it's there to be enjoyed. Relax, take a breath, have a cup of tea!
    • #142
    #142

    Hi
    I am new here but i'm really struggling at the minute and I dont have anyone to talk to.
    I feel like I've lost all control. I lost 4 and a half stone in 4 months recently through loads of excercise and restricting, and i felt so in control for once in my life. but recently all of my freinds have gone to uni and i just feel so stressed and people really noticed the weight loss and started stressing at me so i started eating again.. at first it was really difficult to even swallow food but now i seem to have gone the opposite direction. I get mad at myself that I can eat now and i hate myself. If i eat i have to punish, and i am in pain constantly from the amount of laxatives im taking on a daily basis - please dont judge me. I make myself sick every time i possibly can, and i pretend to eat at work 3 days a week so those days are usually ok. I am just finding it so hard to cope at the min, one of my best freinds knows and she wants me to get help but that terrfies me. I am so ashamed of myself, i'm disgusting. Even eating a normal meal panicks me and i feel like i need to get rid, I'm not even sure what a normal meal is anymore, anything feels like a binge to me and even with all this i'm still fat :/ literally dont know what to do anymore. sorry for moaning on here, just needed to get it out.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I have an assessment to be part of this research trial next week. I'm really worried they're going to reject me though because I have gained so much in these last 3 weeks. To the point I am at the same weight I was before this relapse (I had been keeping myself underweight before, so I'm still technically an 'anorexic' weight). I've kinda moved from Anorexia to Binge Eating, is this normal? It’s like they told me I could eat and I just lost all control and went crazy. I feel like a fraud and I don't need this treatment. I just stuff myself with so much rubbish food. And not in an 'it's all in my head binge' today I ate an entire packet of biscuits, a packet of sushi, soup, a custard pudding, oatmeal, a Twinkie, 4 chocolate brioche, sweets, lentils, Dorayaki and chocolate. I feel like I've lost all control over my eating and I miss Ana so much. I think it would be a waste to be part of this trial since I'm not sure I have the strength to get better. I'm not sure I want to get better. I feel like I'm disassociating. But I don't feel depressed like I often am. I just keep wandering around the house aimlessly tapping and pressing against things to check they're solid so that I feel more grounded. Earlier today I considered doing something stupid just to get some kind of emotional response out of myself because I feel utterly absent. I feel so disconnected and that normally only happens if I'm severely depressed. If I'm depressed or no longer anorexic then I'm not allowed to be part of the trial. I don't know what to do. One of the triggers for this relapse was the fact that these meds I'm taking can cause weight gain, do you think that's why I gaining so fast? I don't think I should take these meds anymore. Also I now have chubby cheeks and I hate it.

    I'm not really expecting any sort of coherent response because I know that this is not coherent. I just wanted to rant somewhere.Sorry :ashamed:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Violet_apple)
    I have an assessment to be part of this research trial next week. I'm really worried they're going to reject me though because I have gained so much in these last 3 weeks. To the point I am at the same weight I was before this relapse (I had been keeping myself underweight before, so I'm still technically an 'anorexic' weight). I've kinda moved from Anorexia to Binge Eating, is this normal? It’s like they told me I could eat and I just lost all control and went crazy. I feel like a fraud and I don't need this treatment. I just stuff myself with so much rubbish food. And not in an 'it's all in my head binge' today I ate an entire packet of biscuits, a packet of sushi, soup, a custard pudding, oatmeal, a Twinkie, 4 chocolate brioche, sweets, lentils, Dorayaki and chocolate. I feel like I've lost all control over my eating and I miss Ana so much. I think it would be a waste to be part of this trial since I'm not sure I have the strength to get better. I'm not sure I want to get better. I feel like I'm disassociating. But I don't feel depressed like I often am. I just keep wandering around the house aimlessly tapping and pressing against things to check they're solid so that I feel more grounded. Earlier today I considered doing something stupid just to get some kind of emotional response out of myself because I feel utterly absent. I feel so disconnected and that normally only happens if I'm severely depressed. If I'm depressed or no longer anorexic then I'm not allowed to be part of the trial. I don't know what to do. One of the triggers for this relapse was the fact that these meds I'm taking can cause weight gain, do you think that's why I gaining so fast? I don't think I should take these meds anymore. Also I now have chubby cheeks and I hate it.

    I'm not really expecting any sort of coherent response because I know that this is not coherent. I just wanted to rant somewhere.Sorry :ashamed:
    funnily enough, you're not overdoing it on tea/coffee/ energy drinks etc are you. I know for me that makes me feel a bit floaty and a bit out of it. Either that or rediculously anxious. I'm getting the latter at the moment. Would so much rather have floaty!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Looks like I've properly relapsed...
    back to camhs, but with only 9 months until i turn 18 I don't know how much they can do to help. I know i need to eat to get to uni and enjoy it, but I honestly can't face eating three meals a day for the rest of my life
    • #139
    #139

    Ate an absolute ridiculous amount yesterday, can't see myself eating today/tomorrow because of it
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by Nooshkabob)
    Looks like I've properly relapsed...
    back to camhs, but with only 9 months until i turn 18 I don't know how much they can do to help. I know i need to eat to get to uni and enjoy it, but I honestly can't face eating three meals a day for the rest of my life
    -hugggles-
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 31, 2015
The home of Results and Clearing

2,504

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.