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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by ECHF)
    I was wondering whether any of you could give me some advice. After a diet going too far, I got down to an unhealthily light weight for my frame. Now, I've been trying to get back on track but have found that I've been binging on a lot of sweet things. This has not put weight on but I do not enjoy the fact that I seem to have no control over it and am scared that it will make me fat eventually. I don't want to put all the weight back on either so I'm just looking for some advice on how much food and stuff I should be eating?
    Rubberbanding, as I call it, is when you restrict for so long that when your body GETS the sweets and fats and whatnot again, it goes hell-for-leather and CRAVES it desperately. Truth is, you will not get fat, but your body is in this state for a reason.

    Google "BMI CALCULATOR". Keep checking it until you see your frame/height for a BMI of between say 19-24. This is what weight you should be.

    Now, check "Basal metabolic rate calculator" with those details and that'll tell you EXACTLY how much you SHOULD eat on a daily basis, based on your healthy weight. If you're currently lower than that (and it sounds like you really are), chances are you WILL gain weight, but it will be in a healthy and justified manner, to get you to a healthy body mass/body type.

    Weight gain is not a bad thing. Quite the contrary. Just do it in a way that isn't tricking your body! X
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Now, check "Basal metabolic rate calculator" with those details and that'll tell you EXACTLY how much you SHOULD eat on a daily basis, based on your healthy weight.
    Doesn't BMR give you how many calories burned with just lying in bed all day? Most people need much more than that if they are doing stuff, even just walking around surely?

    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    -cuddles-
    Aww I know your appetite may have gone down after being annoyed, if you have a nice relaxing shower before dinner or make dinner with some headphones in you'll get your appetite back when you relax
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    Ah, I should've elaborated Cinnie; "BMR Calculators" usually also have additional options to add your additional activities and exertion during the day, but you're correct in that the absolute BASAL METABOLIC RATE (ie, basal - minimal, base) is your daily intake if your body did nothing but merely live/exist - ie, you need to take in more to do so much as sneeze, or watch TV.

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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    My Mum just told me that i'm making her ill
    I think the most important thing to remember is is that YOU are not making her ill. The eating disorder is what's making her ill/stressed. You are not your E.D. you have your own separate identity that unfortunately is being squashed down by this horrible mental disorder.

    Your mum is not trying to personally attack the healthy you. She is however just frustrated with the E.D. which to be honest most people with an E.D. are also frustrated with.

    If possible it might be nice to try and have a sit down and a chat with her about everything and explain how you feel just to help her have a better understanding of what's going on in your mind because I suspect she's just feeling very lost! There's also a lot of good books for carers of E.D. sufferer's and so maybe if you can't talk to her personally about it how about giving her one of these books to help her try to understand?

    At the end of the day lovely. Stay strong, it's a crap situation you're dealing with and so maybe try finding someone you can completely 'confess' and share everything with - they might not fix the situation but just by unloading on someone you can really feel like you've just unloaded a whole boatload of stress.
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    I'm about to crack up, big time. I bought a few fitness DVDs two or so weeks ago with the intention of starting them last week, yet I got ill lsat weekend so couldn't.

    I wanted to do this first one (which you do for a month, 5 days a week), Mon-Fri every week for four weeks and then just mix it up with the others.

    Someone has went and moved my dvd to an unknown location and I can't find it. I've literally just sat crying, screaming, kicking the walls and pulling drawers apart in frustration over this because I planned to start today, so I need to start today. Now I can't. Need to go and spend more bloody money that I don't have to buy another flipping copy of it. Then the other one will turn up. And I'll have just gotten fatter this week for no reason.
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    Think I'm gonna have to opt out of this thread for a while, it's starting to go a bit off the rails!
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by MelissaJayne)
    Think I'm gonna have to opt out of this thread for a while, it's starting to go a bit off the rails!
    The thread or life? Take care sweetness :hugs:

    --

    Need to go do some grocery shopping. So far on my list is 'water' and 'milk'. I don't think that's going to cut it
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    Take care Mel :hugs:

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    My girlfriend's going to be triggering me big-time, potentially :/
    She's a strong believer in 'waste not, want not' on religious grounds meaning a lot of compulsive eating and today I felt I had to stuff some trigger foods down me past fullness even though I felt sick. Might have just been caught outside when it starts hammering down, but could still have been the food itself.
    I was close to puking again...
    It felt such a turn-off and I could barely say anything because of it, but she seems offended when I tell her I'm stuffed-at the moment in a jokey way but if it carries on I'll have to explain the situation.
    I can tell she's into me and I quite like her too, but it's going to be difficult if she's constantly forcing me to go against my body.

    Then there's that whole can of worms about seeing someone when I've just gone on anti-ds. Don't know how she's going to react if I tell her everything.
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    Melissa dear, are you okay?

    Cinnie, I know you feel like you're in some way to blame - it's true that our disorders are, by definition, selfish, but that does not make you a selfish or outwardly uncaring person. Quite the opposite, the fact that you're so emotional and conflicted over your current scenario. And your mother clearly loves you quite an incredible amount to worry herself solid over you.

    Take from it all the positives - You recognise your disorder has made you incredibly isolated and introverted and want to stop that. You have people that clearly adore you to the point of actually throwing tact out of the window to let you know that. And finally, that you are able to appreciate the good things without entirely shunning them (as someone in denial of ED would).

    Cinnabon, keep that chin up. There's more goodness in your life than you may even consider. X
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    X
    (Original post by iamvick)
    X

    :hugs: Thank you so much - I really should be focusing on the good things, because there are loads I've absorbed everything you guys said and am feeling better already, thanks for all the support

    Had a really good long talk with Mum too
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    :hugs: Thank you so much - I really should be focusing on the good things, because there are loads I've absorbed everything you guys said and am feeling better already, thanks for all the support

    Had a really good long talk with Mum too
    So glad you got to talk it through with your mum :hugs:
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    Just to let you all know, I'm good! I just worry that I'll read something to throw me off that good path, love to you all! X
    • #139
    #139

    Trying to battle both an ED and other MH issues is just exhausting, what helps one doesn't help the other and vice versa.
    • #105
    #105

    Eurghhh, today has not been good.

    Had an awful, awful binge and ate waaay too much and the horrific anxiety I've been feeling recently kicked in and I'm sitting crying and I had to phone in sick to the shift I was meant to be doing tonight, which I really cannot afford financially. Going to see where I can get with the student counselling service but I just feel like they'll laugh me and my silly problems out of the office. I feel like it'll just be "this girl is fat, an eating disorder would probably do her some good." This is frustrating. I'm smarter than these feelings.

    does anyone else ever feel like everyone around them eats so much and stays thin but you just go on being a blob despite all the restriction and patterns and horrible thoughts? :/
    • #113
    #113

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Eurghhh, today has not been good.

    Had an awful, awful binge and ate waaay too much and the horrific anxiety I've been feeling recently kicked in and I'm sitting crying and I had to phone in sick to the shift I was meant to be doing tonight, which I really cannot afford financially. Going to see where I can get with the student counselling service but I just feel like they'll laugh me and my silly problems out of the office. I feel like it'll just be "this girl is fat, an eating disorder would probably do her some good." This is frustrating. I'm smarter than these feelings.

    does anyone else ever feel like everyone around them eats so much and stays thin but you just go on being a blob despite all the restriction and patterns and horrible thoughts? :/
    Firstly, please don't be too hard on yourself for calling in sick due to your eating. I am still studying (in college) and I'm ashamed to say I have frequently skipped school to stay at home and binge and purge. That's what an eating disorder does, unfortunately - it encroaches on all areas of your life.

    If you cannot afford it financially, you are definitely doing the right thing by seeing the counselling services. They will most definitely not think that of you, and you're right you ARE smarter than those feelings. Those thoughts are coming from a voice that is NOT yours. You are worth more than that, and you certainly deserve to be rid of an eating disorder.

    I feel like that too, but that is what pushed me into my eating disorder in the first place. Those feelings are unhealthy and only encourage you to think worse of yourself. I think it's important to understand, at least some of the time, that everyone's body behaves differently and whether someone is fatter or thinner than another person tells us nothing about how that person eats, how much exercise they do, or whether they have a normal and healthy relationship with food.

    It's quite amazing how deceiving appearance can be.

    I hope you seek the help you need, and feel better soon. -hugs- x
    • #113
    #113

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Trying to battle both an ED and other MH issues is just exhausting, what helps one doesn't help the other and vice versa.
    It is - but we're all here for you and will support you x
    • #105
    #105

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, please don't be too hard on yourself for calling in sick due to your eating. I am still studying (in college) and I'm ashamed to say I have frequently skipped school to stay at home and binge and purge. That's what an eating disorder does, unfortunately - it encroaches on all areas of your life.

    If you cannot afford it financially, you are definitely doing the right thing by seeing the counselling services. They will most definitely not think that of you, and you're right you ARE smarter than those feelings. Those thoughts are coming from a voice that is NOT yours. You are worth more than that, and you certainly deserve to be rid of an eating disorder.

    I feel like that too, but that is what pushed me into my eating disorder in the first place. Those feelings are unhealthy and only encourage you to think worse of yourself. I think it's important to understand, at least some of the time, that everyone's body behaves differently and whether someone is fatter or thinner than another person tells us nothing about how that person eats, how much exercise they do, or whether they have a normal and healthy relationship with food.

    It's quite amazing how deceiving appearance can be.

    I hope you seek the help you need, and feel better soon. -hugs- x

    Thank you so much. It's so nice to know someone's listening. xxx
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    So so so so so exhausted and drained, really struggling, really need a cuddle and really want to run away :o: Awful couple of days
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Take care Mel :hugs:

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    My girlfriend's going to be triggering me big-time, potentially :/
    She's a strong believer in 'waste not, want not' on religious grounds meaning a lot of compulsive eating and today I felt I had to stuff some trigger foods down me past fullness even though I felt sick. Might have just been caught outside when it starts hammering down, but could still have been the food itself.
    I was close to puking again...
    It felt such a turn-off and I could barely say anything because of it, but she seems offended when I tell her I'm stuffed-at the moment in a jokey way but if it carries on I'll have to explain the situation.
    I can tell she's into me and I quite like her too, but it's going to be difficult if she's constantly forcing me to go against my body.

    Then there's that whole can of worms about seeing someone when I've just gone on anti-ds. Don't know how she's going to react if I tell her everything.
    I really think you should be honest. You have more to lose if you don't tell her than if you do. Hopefully she'll be understanding. There's no point being in a relationship if food is creating a barrier between you two. It sounds like her attitude towards food is causing you a lot of stress and you're therefore not being yourself/comfortable in the relationship. Just be honest and tell her. x
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    So so so so so exhausted and drained, really struggling, really need a cuddle and really want to run away :o: Awful couple of days
    -cuddle- I'm not recommending running away, but I'd so let you crash here, desite the fact I've never met you.
 
 
 
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