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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    -cuddle- I'm not recommending running away, but I'd so let you crash here, desite the fact I've never met you.
    Aw thanks :o: :hugs:

    Dad's just twigged that other than a binge/purge and about 5 mouthfuls of dinner on monday I haven't eaten since.. so his response is to lecture me for being stupid
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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    Aw thanks :o: :hugs:

    Dad's just twigged that other than a binge/purge and about 5 mouthfuls of dinner on monday I haven't eaten since.. so his response is to lecture me for being stupid
    cuddles. he's probably just worried, and quite rightly so, and so am I. you've got to eat. my mood is all over the shop atm. i'm either really relaxed and happy, and hence in a mood to do other peoples washing up, clean the microwave etc, or so anxious I'm literally having to force myself out of bed, to lectures and telling myself I AM going to sit there and put up and shut up until the lecturer says 'And that's it for today, see you next week.' Not exactly best friends with my lab partner atm. He did absolutely no work after lunch, kept nagging me to let him see my answers for the post lab. I refused, he kept asking, eventually brought last week up again, and twisted it to make me look like a liar/ slacker/ lazy.
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    Timewarp, you really shouldn't see your dad as being against you throughout this. If you think about it rationally, having not eaten anything proper since Monday, if I was your dad, I would likely react the same way.

    I suppose it's interesting how you shift cognitively as you slowly recover; things start to sound crazy. Some days I would just eat an entire cucumber. Now, I think, Jesus Christ, what the hell was WRONG with me? That's WEIRD.

    Nowadays I hear someone saying, "yeah, I ate on Sunday, but I'm going for X calories for the entire week, so..." and I'm like, DINGDINGDING, ALARM ALARM.

    Timewarp, I can't obviously make you change your outlook with a mere message, but... I think your dad may be erring on the side of poor tact, but overall, he's RIGHT to react as he does.
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    I can normally eat better than that, like the weekend I ate pretty well, just had a truly shocking few days and food is bottom of priorities :o:
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    What I really don't need is to be given a plate piled ridiculously high with food. Feel like crying looking at it.
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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    What I really don't need is to be given a plate piled ridiculously high with food. Feel like crying looking at it.
    I am the opposite, if I was given a huge plate I would eat less overall during the day even though I ate next to none of what I was given.

    I have the frame of mind if I eat something small I am still hungry but if I was given a small portion I may struggle to finish if at all but feel more satisfied.

    Anyway onto my eating habits for this week.

    Spoiler:
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    Did get a takeaway last week for myself but my friend came round for 3 nights(originally for 1 night) so ate take away each night then because I had no food and friend likes to laze about and not leave house then when went back to my own diet, basically ate a pack of noodles 1 day, another put a pack of sausages in some gravy and made it last 2 days and today treated myself to fish and chips ate the fish, left all the chips then had 2 small potatoes and tinned meatballs.

    Not too much just been weak in last few weeks to eat.
    • #73
    #73

    Is it possible to be sacked from your job for having an ed?
    I've had had a horrendous few weeks, and I can't concentrate or do my job properly any more because my bulimia has completely taken over everything. I'm just constantly frustrated and crying over it. Was told today that other staff members have made complaints over my 'bad attitude'. I'm so scared right now, just want to be locked up somewhere and not let out until I'm normal again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is it possible to be sacked from your job for having an ed?
    I've had had a horrendous few weeks, and I can't concentrate or do my job properly any more because my bulimia has completely taken over everything. I'm just constantly frustrated and crying over it. Was told today that other staff members have made complaints over my 'bad attitude'. I'm so scared right now, just want to be locked up somewhere and not let out until I'm normal again.
    You couldn't be sacked for having an E.D. no, that would be against mental health policies within companies - but you could possibly get warnings for the bad attitude which may lead to being sacked.

    Use this opportunity to help try and turn things around. Is there anyone at work you trust enough to be able to talk to? I had to spend 8 months off work in hospital after being sectioned for my E.D. and I was so worried about telling work I had my parents do it for me (yes I know how bad that sounds). Having been back at work for over a year now though I realise I worried for nothing. A lot of my colleagues know nothing of where I went, the senior staff that do know have been nothing but supportive and there for me. My boss especially which I really would not have expected. They may not understand the E.D per se but they understand that it's a mental illness and so it's out of your control. I have received no bias or special treatment and have been completely respected. So please consider talking to your boss if you can.

    Also to help with meals - have you tried doing a meal plan? Even for just one day? Make a meal plan, make sure you have the foods in stock and MAKE yourself stick to it. After doing it one day you can then build up on the amount of days you are able to do this. Keep a journal of your feelings and emotions and also try out a pro and con list to your E.D. what are the benefits of it? What would your life be like without it?

    Hope this helps a little lovely. Stay positive.
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    By the way... for all of those who are struggling at the moment. STAY POSITIVE.

    Instead of letting your E.D be ashamed of maybe having a bit more for dinner, having what you fancied, eating food 'on top' of everything else. BE FREAKING PROUD. It is the E.D. trying to make you feel like crap, but you are pushing and beating that stupid illness down with every little thing that you do each day.

    It is 100% normal to have days and even weeks where you eat a little more. It is healthy.

    To all those who have 'gained weight'. Fantastic! I am so proud and you know what... you've haven't 'gained' weight at all. You've got one step closer to gaining your life back and are just restoring weight that should actually be there in the first place! It's a horrible process to go through I know but it's worth the battle.
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    I've done it, I've made an appointment to see the uni counselling team and am actually serious about talking. I'm going to beat this, my recovery is only going to get better... It's weird, I don't *want* to lose weight anymore, I want to stay at this (upper end of healthy) weight, I want to have boobs, I want to go out for meals, I want to have normal relationships and right now I'm feeling so positive about it all because I know if I believe in counselling and engage with it I will get better.

    Seriously you guys, thank you so much for this thread, for answering my incredibly self-obsessed posts and all just being such amazing influences. You're all so inspirational to me and I know I wouldn't be taking this step without all of your stories and support. Thank you all!

    :hugs: to you all.
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by labelleetlebete)
    i've done it, i've made an appointment to see the uni counselling team and am actually serious about talking. I'm going to beat this, my recovery is only going to get better... It's weird, i don't *want* to lose weight anymore, i want to stay at this (upper end of healthy) weight, i want to have boobs, i want to go out for meals, i want to have normal relationships and right now i'm feeling so positive about it all because i know if i believe in counselling and engage with it i will get better.

    Seriously you guys, thank you so much for this thread, for answering my incredibly self-obsessed posts and all just being such amazing influences. You're all so inspirational to me and i know i wouldn't be taking this step without all of your stories and support. Thank you all!

    :hugs: To you all.
    yaaaaaaaaaaay!
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    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    I've done it, I've made an appointment to see the uni counselling team and am actually serious about talking. I'm going to beat this, my recovery is only going to get better... It's weird, I don't *want* to lose weight anymore, I want to stay at this (upper end of healthy) weight, I want to have boobs, I want to go out for meals, I want to have normal relationships and right now I'm feeling so positive about it all because I know if I believe in counselling and engage with it I will get better.

    Seriously you guys, thank you so much for this thread, for answering my incredibly self-obsessed posts and all just being such amazing influences. You're all so inspirational to me and I know I wouldn't be taking this step without all of your stories and support. Thank you all!

    :hugs: to you all.
    GOOD EGG! You go girl
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    I'm getting weighed today. I'm nervous as I don't want to gain more than I can cope with because I know the anorexic thoughts will try and stop me continuing with my meal plan. But I don't want to lose weight because then it's letting ana get the better of me
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    (Original post by Blue eyed bunny)
    I'm getting weighed today. I'm nervous as I don't want to gain more than I can cope with because I know the anorexic thoughts will try and stop me continuing with my meal plan. But I don't want to lose weight because then it's letting ana get the better of me
    I always get this exact same feeling. And then I weigh, realise it's not logical that I'd put on 10948586kg as I feared, deal with my gain, rationalise it..then get on with my life and forget about it. As you gain weight your metabolism will pick up meaning the gain slows down anyway, you will be able to keep it all under control; fear not! You are not going to ballon, promise.
    • #48
    #48

    (Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete)
    I've done it, I've made an appointment to see the uni counselling team and am actually serious about talking. I'm going to beat this, my recovery is only going to get better... It's weird, I don't *want* to lose weight anymore, I want to stay at this (upper end of healthy) weight, I want to have boobs, I want to go out for meals, I want to have normal relationships and right now I'm feeling so positive about it all because I know if I believe in counselling and engage with it I will get better.

    Seriously you guys, thank you so much for this thread, for answering my incredibly self-obsessed posts and all just being such amazing influences. You're all so inspirational to me and I know I wouldn't be taking this step without all of your stories and support. Thank you all!

    :hugs: to you all.
    :hugs: Go you! x
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    I just wanted to pitch in with, GO FOR IT, LABELLE!

    Also, extending a belated major thumbs-up to Belle, iamvick and MelissaJayne for their recent positive influences on the thread. You're an inspiration and absolutely what this thread needs more of.
    • #103
    #103

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is it possible to be sacked from your job for having an ed?
    I've had had a horrendous few weeks, and I can't concentrate or do my job properly any more because my bulimia has completely taken over everything. I'm just constantly frustrated and crying over it. Was told today that other staff members have made complaints over my 'bad attitude'. I'm so scared right now, just want to be locked up somewhere and not let out until I'm normal again.
    No.
    My work have been nothing but supportive. The colleagues I work with have absolutely no idea why Im currently signed off from work, and have been since the end of March and still am. The only people at work who know is my boss of the 'whole store', my 'department boss' (who has taken it surprisingly well, he's not the nicest of chaps) the 'people's colleague'. Oh, and the occupational health lady, who's lovely. She apically overseas everything that the Docs says and does. Checks I'm not faking it and I'm right for being signed off. Quite frankly, I can't see ow you'd fake an ED and depression and anxiety. Still. Procedures.
    • #48
    #48

    My logic...

    Spoiler:
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    I can have Dominos for dinner as I've spent over an hour in the gym and burnt off nearly half of what I'll consume today. Yep. That's healthy. :facepalm:

    It's also totally irrational that when I *know* you can't spot lose fat, looking at myself in the mirror and saying '****, my cheeks have hollows in them but my belly is still looking bigger than an obese pregnant womans' is just damn stupid.


    Missing home a lot today :sad: It's the christmas lights switch on and I wanna be there :sad:
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    You know you see all those flashy Michelin star chefs on tv? So, their meals would have terrified me a couple of years ago knowing how rich those dishes can potentially be. Yesterday, my boyfriend took me to Michael Caines' to celebrate our first anniversary. I ordered exactly what I wanted, enjoyed the bread basket and an unexpected appetizer.

    Wow.

    And the best part? He was so happy that I was enjoying my food rather than stressing out. He was so proud. We had an amazing evening, something that just wouldn't have ever happened before.

    Remember. There is life after an eating disorder and it is the best thing ever. x
    • #48
    #48

    I can't do this. :sad:
 
 
 
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