Hi everyone, I'm a girl, 19. I'm not anorexic or super skinny but I think I hve a bit of an issue with food, counting calories, feeling guilty after eating, exercising compulsively, etc. Whenever I feel upset or stressed my reaction is to 'comfort starve' and the thought of going out and eating a three course meal...I just couldn't, unless I'd exercised a lot and not eaten anything else that day. This has been going on for about 3 years now but because I still do eat (about 900-1000 calories a day on average) I don't look terrifyingly thin or anything. I'm just sick of food dictating every decision and every moment of my day.
My dad is not a big eater but very active so I'm always comparing myself to him. He is very careful of not 'overindulging', is a fattist and will often skip meals or eat hardly anything, e.g. he'll be doing physical work all day and just have a slice of bread for lunch. I know that if I ate the healthy amount for me, I'd be eating more than him and my head just won't accept that. Also my older sister is 5'10, I am 5'7, yet she weighs the same as me (just over 8 stone) - she is so thin, I am constantly comparing myself to her and as she barely eats, I can't allow myself to either.
My life has become truly miserable because of all this and I'm so sick of it, but I have no idea how to make things better again and just eat without any issues. It feels like there is no way out and the thought of this going on for years really scares me.
just typing this out on a forum is helpful but if anybody has any words of advice I would be so so grateful.