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    (Original post by JLW95)
    I've been on Olanzapine for a week now, and today for the first time I have gained weight by just over a KG. I was really unhappy after, but I realise I should just view it as the first step in the long road to recovery Also finally have a meal plan from the dietician (I shouldn't be complaining, I bet most people would be happy being told they have to have dessert every night!)
    That's amazing- well done!
    Try not to worry too much about the weight gain (yeah, if only it was that easy, but you know what I mean ), it will slow down after a few weeks if you keep with the meal plan, it's just your body going "WTF??!?!?!". Remember to reach out for support any time you find it hard, but you're right, this is the beginning of better things x
    • #76
    #76

    Guys I don't know what to do, I'm supposed to be in recovery and I thought I was doing quite well, but I had a fight with bf today because he doesn't think I eat enough still, I wrote it all down and it's somehow not even maintenance but I thought this was a normal amount I feel uncomfortably full after dinner as it is, without eating more!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys I don't know what to do, I'm supposed to be in recovery and I thought I was doing quite well, but I had a fight with bf today because he doesn't think I eat enough still, I wrote it all down and it's somehow not even maintenance but I thought this was a normal amount I feel uncomfortably full after dinner as it is, without eating more!
    That's just the nature of the disorder I'm afraid

    Maybe ask other friends/family members for their honest opinion on what you're eating? Or a doctor/dietician? It takes a while for your brain to retrain itself into recognising 'correct' portion sizes etc.

    Are you having snacks? Spreading out your intake might help. Or simple things like adding nuts to cereal and other healthy toppings to boost the nutritional value. Maybe replace some drinks with smoothies or milkshakes?

    Keep going, you can do this x
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    (Original post by Gnome :))
    That's just the nature of the disorder I'm afraid

    Maybe ask other friends/family members for their honest opinion on what you're eating? Or a doctor/dietician? It takes a while for your brain to retrain itself into recognising 'correct' portion sizes etc.

    Are you having snacks? Spreading out your intake might help. Or simple things like adding nuts to cereal and other healthy toppings to boost the nutritional value. Maybe replace some drinks with smoothies or milkshakes?

    Keep going, you can do this x
    Thanks, the weird thing is I was allowed to stop therapy on the condition that my parents monitor what I eat and they haven't mentioned anything!
    I don't like smoothies or milkshakes but having snacks (which I don't have currently, no) and spreading out intake is a good idea, thanks! I might take snacks into college with me to eat between lessons. My family has money issues so I don't get to eat meat as often as I probably should, so nuts might help with protein too.
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    (Original post by Etoile)
    Thanks, the weird thing is I was allowed to stop therapy on the condition that my parents monitor what I eat and they haven't mentioned anything!
    I don't like smoothies or milkshakes but having snacks (which I don't have currently, no) and spreading out intake is a good idea, thanks! I might take snacks into college with me to eat between lessons. My family has money issues so I don't get to eat meat as often as I probably should, so nuts might help with protein too.
    Nuts are a lifesaver And good for your skin hair and nails too Eating between lessons is a very good idea; will help set your brain up for concentrating, and hopefully give you a distraction

    Most people snack throughout the day, it's totally normal. Honestly, look around at college on your break. How many people do you see with a bag of crisps or a bar of chocolate?

    Hope it goes well
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    (Original post by Etoile)
    Thanks, the weird thing is I was allowed to stop therapy on the condition that my parents monitor what I eat and they haven't mentioned anything!
    I don't like smoothies or milkshakes but having snacks (which I don't have currently, no) and spreading out intake is a good idea, thanks! I might take snacks into college with me to eat between lessons. My family has money issues so I don't get to eat meat as often as I probably should, so nuts might help with protein too.
    Pumpkin seeds!! Apparently they're a good source of protein. YOU DON'T NEED TO EAT MEAT TO GET PROTEIN. Have you ever seen a gorilla, they don't eat meat, and look how strong they are!

    In other news, one flatmate is doing my head in. 'ooh, we could bake shortbread. I haven't done it in ages because its really fattening' 'I have skimmed milk because i'd rather spend my calories on something else' 'I haven't done any exercise in 2 days, i'm such a bad person.' 'it looks like its made with wholemeal flour, so its probably really healthy' and so on and so forth. Another flatmate puts jam on her toast with a spoon, that worries me because i did that when i was really, really quite ill. The less worrying explanation, she's got no table knives.
    • #76
    #76

    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Pumpkin seeds!! Apparently they're a good source of protein. YOU DON'T NEED TO EAT MEAT TO GET PROTEIN. Have you ever seen a gorilla, they don't eat meat, and look how strong they are!

    In other news, one flatmate is doing my head in. 'ooh, we could bake shortbread. I haven't done it in ages because its really fattening' 'I have skimmed milk because i'd rather spend my calories on something else' 'I haven't done any exercise in 2 days, i'm such a bad person.' 'it looks like its made with wholemeal flour, so its probably really healthy' and so on and so forth. Another flatmate puts jam on her toast with a spoon, that worries me because i did that when i was really, really quite ill. The less worrying explanation, she's got no table knives.
    I've never had them, what do they taste like? True!
    Tbh I can see where she is coming from- jam falls off the knife if there isn't much left in the jar, so a spoon is easier :yep:

    (Original post by Gnome :))
    Nuts are a lifesaver And good for your skin hair and nails too Eating between lessons is a very good idea; will help set your brain up for concentrating, and hopefully give you a distraction

    Most people snack throughout the day, it's totally normal. Honestly, look around at college on your break. How many people do you see with a bag of crisps or a bar of chocolate?

    Hope it goes well
    If it's good for your hair and (lack of) concentration span I'm in :lol:
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    I always forget to unclick anon on this thread -______-
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Pumpkin seeds!! Apparently they're a good source of protein. YOU DON'T NEED TO EAT MEAT TO GET PROTEIN.
    :yes:

    In other news, one flatmate is doing my head in. 'ooh, we could bake shortbread. I haven't done it in ages because its really fattening' 'I have skimmed milk because i'd rather spend my calories on something else' 'I haven't done any exercise in 2 days, i'm such a bad person.' 'it looks like its made with wholemeal flour, so its probably really healthy' and so on and so forth. Another flatmate puts jam on her toast with a spoon, that worries me because i did that when i was really, really quite ill. The less worrying explanation, she's got no table knives.
    Are your flatmates aware of your ED? Just thinking you could maybe have a word with them about how this affects you.
    • #30
    #30

    0) R
    1) Bulimia, anorexia
    2) Ruined my life, my health and my relationships. It rules my whole life and mind.
    3) I just want to be normal and happy (and eventually finish med school)
    4) I'm a girl, but have a male friends with EDs
    5) I wish I could say something inspirational but I'm fighting for my life. I've had this ED for over 10 years, am failing med school and close to ending my life. I want to get better, but I don't quite know how.

    (Original post by smetin92)
    Hi there everyone,

    i have posted on here before, but i shall start from the beginning so some of you can understand what im doing

    i am a fully recovered anorexic studying medicine at the Uni of Cambridge. i have recently started a youtube blog where i try to answer questions people have about eating disorders which can be found here : www.youtube.com/smetin92

    anyways, the reason why i am posting this thread is because i need your help. i am going to post a video this eating disorders awareness week where i need input from people suffering/suffered with an eating disorders (OF ANY KIND) or issues with body image. i would like you to make a video where you say the following, or write it in a piece of paper in front of a video camera (it does not have to include your face if you dont want it to!):

    0) Your name (if you want to be anon that is ok) - say "my name is ".....""
    1) i have/had an eating disorder
    2) i would then like you to summarise your eating disorder in 1-2 sentences
    3) explain in 1-2 sentences what you want out of life
    4) if you are a male please say/write : "Males can have eating disorders too"
    5) Then, say an inspirational line saying that eating disorders can be beaten - give it some POW
    6) finally say/write "be aware"

    If you could do this an email it to [email protected] (i know) before mid-february i would be most grateful. thank you so much

    simon metin x
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    Ooh just found an awesome app: "Recovery Record"
    Lets you record what you've eaten, thoughts, behaviours etc and gives you motivational messages after logging meals, as well as track your progess
    It's available on Google Play and iTunes, and is free
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    (Original post by Gnome :))
    Ooh just found an awesome app: "Recovery Record"
    Lets you record what you've eaten, thoughts, behaviours etc and gives you motivational messages after logging meals, as well as track your progess
    It's available on Google Play and iTunes, and is free
    How excellent! Thanks for sharing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    0) R
    1) Bulimia, anorexia
    2) Ruined my life, my health and my relationships. It rules my whole life and mind.
    3) I just want to be normal and happy (and eventually finish med school)
    4) I'm a girl, but have a male friends with EDs
    5) I wish I could say something inspirational but I'm fighting for my life. I've had this ED for over 10 years, am failing med school and close to ending my life. I want to get better, but I don't quite know how.
    could it be possible for you to send me this in a video/audio file to the email address i supplied?
    • #137
    #137

    Hi, think I've posted in this thread before, but could do with the feedback of other sufferers! I want to apply to uni for 2013 and am now doing my PS. Do you think I should mention my illness? I don't want to be attention-seeking or all 'poor me', but also need to account for what I've been doing all these years out of education and so on. How should I word it? Has anyone done this? Should I mention I've had a long IP admission? Also, I'm not really recovered or trying to, but should I just pretend I am?!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, think I've posted in this thread before, but could do with the feedback of other sufferers! I want to apply to uni for 2013 and am now doing my PS. Do you think I should mention my illness? I don't want to be attention-seeking or all 'poor me', but also need to account for what I've been doing all these years out of education and so on. How should I word it? Has anyone done this? Should I mention I've had a long IP admission? Also, I'm not really recovered or trying to, but should I just pretend I am?!!
    Hi, I've just applied to uni Just to let you know, the deadline for equal consideration has passed for this year, which may affect your application, but you still could get in.
    The PS is not the place to go into detail about your illness. Only mention it if it forms part of the reason why you're choosing the course e.g. I'm applying for nursing so I said something along the lines of "after spending a period of time in hospital, I began to appreciate the role of the nurse etc."
    Also, do not lie about having an ED; that can get you in deep doo-doo should they find out.
    Another thing to consider is whether you really think you are well enough for uni; there are some guidelines given to unis to assess if they think you're well enough, and you need to be sure that you can cope emotionally and socially, as well as having the concentration and motivation to complete the course. Just something to consider, not trying to give you a lecture as I'm sure you've heard it all before!
    All I did was put that I had a mental health condition under the disability section of the UCAS form.

    Good luck
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    PS Reviewer
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, think I've posted in this thread before, but could do with the feedback of other sufferers! I want to apply to uni for 2013 and am now doing my PS. Do you think I should mention my illness? I don't want to be attention-seeking or all 'poor me', but also need to account for what I've been doing all these years out of education and so on. How should I word it? Has anyone done this? Should I mention I've had a long IP admission? Also, I'm not really recovered or trying to, but should I just pretend I am?!!
    You need to talk to your referee. It's their place to write about your problems - don't mention it in your ps!

    And if you're not recovered don't tell them you are, but are you sure you're well enough to go? The uni should have some way to support you, but you'll still need to be able to cope.

    Sent from my GT-S5363
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    slipped a little sorry if this is hard to understand, my th9ughts are getting more fluffy again
    Spoiler:
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    I got it into my head that I have have have to gain again and when I do I just binge >_< yet I weigh myself maybe every 6 weeks on a really bad day? Which still could be better.
    I don't know whether laying off the sugar a little is going to help my mood or I'm just deluding myself. I would've thought it's possible to have treats in recovery reasonably fit and healthy. At the moment they sometimes feel like some obligation, a box to tick or something. I'm eating so much junk because I think I have to, it's like the 'good' food has turned 'bad' and the 'bad' to 'good'-even though they're both meaningless to the healthy mind!
    Then there's the wanting to get big and train thing which is really the opposite of the original problem and they're both competing in my head.
    The whole point was to let myself eat and exercise whatever I want, whenever I want, and as much or as little as I want, provided a) it didn't stop me feeling, b) it didn't stop me studying, c) it didn't stop me going out with friends and having my old hobbies, d) it didn't bankrupt me.
    But I won't allow that still. There's I guess a fear of being back in control at all? About everything, not just food.
    I know food doesn't actually bring complete control now but it translates into needing to not grow up and be everyone's doormat instead. I know what I'm doing, I'd wish they'd support it.
    Anyway, it's annoying. Mum made me a meal which I decided she thought was too small and made myself go on a binge on campus because of it even though I was full.

    I'm having some related guy problems :/ having mojo is bad apparently.


    Other than this it's a good start to new semester!
    Genuinely! It's hard to not overthink things, but I try.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    slipped a little sorry if this is hard to understand, my th9ughts are getting more fluffy again
    Spoiler:
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    I got it into my head that I have have have to gain again and when I do I just binge >_< yet I weigh myself maybe every 6 weeks on a really bad day? Which still could be better.
    I don't know whether laying off the sugar a little is going to help my mood or I'm just deluding myself. I would've thought it's possible to have treats in recovery reasonably fit and healthy. At the moment they sometimes feel like some obligation, a box to tick or something. I'm eating so much junk because I think I have to, it's like the 'good' food has turned 'bad' and the 'bad' to 'good'-even though they're both meaningless to the healthy mind!
    Then there's the wanting to get big and train thing which is really the opposite of the original problem and they're both competing in my head.
    The whole point was to let myself eat and exercise whatever I want, whenever I want, and as much or as little as I want, provided a) it didn't stop me feeling, b) it didn't stop me studying, c) it didn't stop me going out with friends and having my old hobbies, d) it didn't bankrupt me.
    But I won't allow that still. There's I guess a fear of being back in control at all? About everything, not just food.
    I know food doesn't actually bring complete control now but it translates into needing to not grow up and be everyone's doormat instead. I know what I'm doing, I'd wish they'd support it.
    Anyway, it's annoying. Mum made me a meal which I decided she thought was too small and made myself go on a binge on campus because of it even though I was full.

    I'm having some related guy problems :/ having mojo is bad apparently.


    Other than this it's a good start to new semester!
    Genuinely! It's hard to not overthink things, but I try.
    Hi Riku. Sorry to hear you're having a lousy time of it

    Spoiler:
    Show

    I went through the exact same thing earlier in my recovery (and it still pops up at this stage, too). a) You feel like you are doing something wrong either way and b) Do you feel unable to restrict but need some sort of coping mechanism; so all that's left is binging?

    A little bit of control is a perfectly normal natural thing for someone who cares about their image. It is fine to think to yourself 'I think i've had enough junk food for today, even though i'd like a bit more', or 'I want something to eat but I know it's just emotional so i'll go do something else'.

    I put on a lot of extra weight from switching one eating disorder to another because I wanted to recover so badly.

    Something that has worked for me is to have a flexible routine. It's difficult or impossible for emotional eaters to eat reactively or instinctively with no routine. Basically I know roughly how many calories (or portion sizes if you don't want to count calories) I am aiming for with each meal, and have a treat in the evening. Nothing is set in stone and if i'm out for the day with friends and we all get an ice cream then it doesn't matter, it's ok to say no to something in the evening. That's just an example of what works for me, but it might not work for you.

    Recovery is a very personal battle, it's not a set of target weights and target behaviours and target lifestyles. If the current situation isn't working (and it hasn't for a while), then it's time to try another approach - it's not because you aren't working hard enough. There is no point continuing something damaging and expecting it to have a different outcome

    And remember, people only want you to be happy.
    • #30
    #30

    ****ing hate my med school. The pro deans literally don't give a **** and they don't understand EDs (or mental health) at all.

    I swear they can't wait to get rid of me. I'm awaiting their decision as to whether I can carry on or whether I have to leave. What a load of *******s.

    They suggested to my friend who has depression/anxiety that she might not be safe to work with patients...um wtf?

    On the positive side, my private therapist is amazing and I felt HOPE for the first time yesterday that I can have a life FREE of ED. It was as though a weigh had been lifted off my chest, quite literally. I'd never truly believed I could get better.

    But sadly I'm seeing less and less of her now as I'm starting daycare treatment next week. So ****ing scared, but I have a little bit of hope.
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    Hi Riku. Sorry to hear you're having a lousy time of it

    Spoiler:
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    I went through the exact same thing earlier in my recovery (and it still pops up at this stage, too). a) You feel like you are doing something wrong either way and b) Do you feel unable to restrict but need some sort of coping mechanism; so all that's left is binging?

    A little bit of control is a perfectly normal natural thing for someone who cares about their image. It is fine to think to yourself 'I think i've had enough junk food for today, even though i'd like a bit more', or 'I want something to eat but I know it's just emotional so i'll go do something else'.

    I put on a lot of extra weight from switching one eating disorder to another because I wanted to recover so badly.

    Something that has worked for me is to have a flexible routine. It's difficult or impossible for emotional eaters to eat reactively or instinctively with no routine. Basically I know roughly how many calories (or portion sizes if you don't want to count calories) I am aiming for with each meal, and have a treat in the evening. Nothing is set in stone and if i'm out for the day with friends and we all get an ice cream then it doesn't matter, it's ok to say no to something in the evening. That's just an example of what works for me, but it might not work for you.

    Recovery is a very personal battle, it's not a set of target weights and target behaviours and target lifestyles. If the current situation isn't working (and it hasn't for a while), then it's time to try another approach - it's not because you aren't working hard enough. There is no point continuing something damaging and expecting it to have a different outcome

    And remember, people only want you to be happy.
    Thanks for getting back to me, Cinnie:
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Yeah, I completely understand. That's sort of what happened to me and now I'm trying to get back to normal meal patterns and the like. I want to let myself have at least a little say in the matter, but I think I'm a bit afraid now? It's pretty extreme though, I think my mum's going to cry every time I casually say no thanks to a cake or go to gym. I'm rarely turning down stuff I really want to do but it's awkward to say it at first. I've talked it over with her a million times. Every time it just seems to be my worry, she doesn't mind either way, Or she's saying that at least. I still see pamphlets from support meetings and stuff out sometimes.

    I just don't think that in a complete recovery you'd feel guilty about returning to healthier habits, physically and mentally...but I seem to think I should I guess it's still some guilt and shame for taking care of myself? Strange.


    It'll get better, always does it is actually, went out to a society for the first time in forever last night and I made a few new friends
    How have you been lately? :hugs:
 
 
 
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