I've found myself MIA from this thread, but I am not abandoning you in your hour of need, my ED-stricken brethren.
Your kind words are really helping me; this week has been something of a toughie for me but having spent some time with my psychiatric consultant, my anxieties are dulling somewhat. I'm afraid in my clouded state I'm not the best to offer advice today; though it seems MelissaJayne and Cinnie have been helping out our new members (and each other) more than adequately!
Super-proud of all of you as I always am.
(I have placed spoilers on my own details to illustrate why I'll be MIA for perhaps another day or two).
I am a firm believer that fate tends to send a barrage of tests, not just one, at any time. After facing yet another slew of "fattening up" comments, I received an almost identical scenario yesterday; and inexplicably the days between the initial "hit" and now, I had dropped to sub-1700 calorie daily allowance in an attempt to give myself maybe just a superficial "nudge" to prove that I could still "show them!!" - in this time, I've actually GAINED three pounds.
At 117lb now I am heavier than I've ever been in recent memory and I think the fact that I was trying to purposely show my own subconscious I still had that power over myself to lose a pound IF I WANTED, and it didn't only have the opposite effect but the MEGA OPPOSITE effect... well, I just feel lost. Helpless, even; I will go back to my daily maintenance calories, sure, but... I personally don't feel like I'm in the right place to offer constructive, level-headed advice to my friends and anxious peers on here *just* yet.
I really want you all to keep going and realise I hope this proves that even this far down the line, we can all still face the direst of days throughout recovery. Thankfully at this point, we are aware of our follies and can chalk it up, try to face it head-on.