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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I think what is most important to remember during recovery is, no matter what, SEE THE POSITIVES. I cannot stress this enough. Nothing is accomplished through "Woe is me" mentality. ***ked up bones? Zero sex drive? Busted liver? Yes, it's a tragedy and a terrible, terrible thing. But is anything accomplished by moping through every pain, tragedy, relapse? Hardly!

    You have to continue to see there is hope. That when you fall, you at least have the ability to stand back up again. Anorexia and Bulemia especially have a strong effect on the virtues of self-worth, so it's important that you recognise that when you fall down, you are not dead, you are simply prone. You have been *****slapped one time. When you see a man in a fight get slapped once and fall down, crying, saying "You've killed me!" - do you think he's dead? No, you think "Christ, he took a massive skelp, but now he's being a pussy about it."

    People recognise your pain, but the more you wallow in it, the less they can sympathise with you. The more you fight it, the more people understand it's less a one-sided fight, and more a true battle.
    Considering I've been awake all night longing for relapse, this is exactly what I needed to read. I ain't gonna let anorexia ***** slap me.
    • #182
    #182

    Hi, I just had my first assessment this morning and feel completely numb and don't wanna get out of bed. Anyone else feel this way? I can't say I'm completely on board with wanting to recover but am doing it for my mum. Any stories of anyone feeling similar or gone through the process would be so appreciated as I feel quite terrified at not knowing what to expect. I want to know want they're going to require from me and things like that.
    Sending lots of love and strength to those tackling and recovering, you are so brave.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I think what is most important to remember during recovery is, no matter what, SEE THE POSITIVES. I cannot stress this enough. Nothing is accomplished through "Woe is me" mentality. ***ked up bones? Zero sex drive? Busted liver? Yes, it's a tragedy and a terrible, terrible thing. But is anything accomplished by moping through every pain, tragedy, relapse? Hardly!

    You have to continue to see there is hope. That when you fall, you at least have the ability to stand back up again. Anorexia and Bulemia especially have a strong effect on the virtues of self-worth, so it's important that you recognise that when you fall down, you are not dead, you are simply prone. You have been *****slapped one time. When you see a man in a fight get slapped once and fall down, crying, saying "You've killed me!" - do you think he's dead? No, you think "Christ, he took a massive skelp, but now he's being a pussy about it."

    People recognise your pain, but the more you wallow in it, the less they can sympathise with you. The more you fight it, the more people understand it's less a one-sided fight, and more a true battle.
    True that. My biggest struggle is feeling 'fat' on certain days or too large. A pair of jeans that seemed to fit great yesterday, feel super tight the next day? Is it crazy logic? Did I gain a tonne overnight? Is it me seeing things different, disorderly? All sorts of unknown generally pushes me back into bad habits.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I just had my first assessment this morning and feel completely numb and don't wanna get out of bed. Anyone else feel this way? I can't say I'm completely on board with wanting to recover but am doing it for my mum. Any stories of anyone feeling similar or gone through the process would be so appreciated as I feel quite terrified at not knowing what to expect. I want to know want they're going to require from me and things like that.
    Sending lots of love and strength to those tackling and recovering, you are so brave.
    I was the same. I didn't care about myself and the only reason to recover was because of my mum. I didn't want her to hurt any more. I found it was enough to get me recovered and in time I learnt to recover for myself and my own interests. It gets easier in time. I understand about feeling numb -- I was so far gone that I had no energy to even feel anything.
    • #89
    #89

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I just had my first assessment this morning and feel completely numb and don't wanna get out of bed. Anyone else feel this way? I can't say I'm completely on board with wanting to recover but am doing it for my mum. Any stories of anyone feeling similar or gone through the process would be so appreciated as I feel quite terrified at not knowing what to expect. I want to know want they're going to require from me and things like that.
    Sending lots of love and strength to those tackling and recovering, you are so brave.
    What happened? I saw a GP who is booking me an assessment and I don't know what to expect, only that I will have to wait a few weeks to hear from them
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    hey guys
    Bit of a stalker on this thread so I thought I'd just show myself. I don't really know what to label myself as, I've been semi recovered for nearly a year, though my bmi didn't get up to the normal range as of yet. I have been left with ocd/anxiety/dermatillomania which I'm struggling with.
    I've been discharged from camhs & the doctors through showing them how much my outlook has changed, truthfully, but I'm still a pretty low weight. Exam stress has been getting me down alot lately, and study leave has left me in an eating rut which has turned out to be not enough (I don't weigh myself weekly anymore but did step on the scales the other day and was surprised to see that weight has dropped off). I'm pretty upset by this, I have restarted exercising regularly and really don't want to stop because of weightloss, so I'm trying hard to balance eating more alongside keeping my anxiety in check over the last 3wks of exams but it isn't easy at the moment. I just don't know where my maintenance bmr is anymore, which is difficult to balance with trying hard not to calorie count. Plus letting myself slip slightly has made it difficult to look a pizza in the eye and not feel those old voices.
    Anyway, any encouragement towards increasing would be appreciated, otherwise I'll just be lurking somewhere
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    I've hit that point in the month where I feel I have no self-control again, and it's not just because I had a comfort-eat doing my essay/haven't even left the house today :/
    I think I have some obsession that the crux of being a man is about always being in control and never emotionally disturbed?
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    Argggh just got a phonecall saying I'm on a waiting list. Why are the services so bad here. It's just so frustrating because I recognise I need to fix it and I want to fix it but now I can't get the help I need. I can't do this on my own!


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    Phew! I'm going to try to reply to a few of these briefly, you guys.

    Firstly, Riku, dude, the ironic thing is that males by definition are incomplete versions of the species of mammal. We are the mere catalyst for reproduction and birth; we literally only contribute the final ebb required to "unlock" the process of embryo creation. Our "Y" chromosome is quite literally just an incomplete "X" chromosome.

    Why, then, should we be so obsessed with superiority? Evolution is eradicating this, of course, but back when we were mere beings of instinct, we were just sex machines (oo! C'mawn! Etc). We were programmed to be aggressive, violent and domineering in order to fight for mates. We evolved bigger and stronger to battle one another and our prey. As intelligence grew and knowledge and understanding broadened, we became more and more accepting of the ability to be civil. We as men became smaller, relied on intelligent planning more than brute strength, and nowadays (and even in our cultural development in the past one hundred years), we've developed a deep, sensitive nature that puts us on almost equal footing physically (in terms of height and weight stature-wise) as our female peers.

    What I'm saying in a very long-winded way is we are evolving , developing, to be LESS macho. Our evolutionary arc has us getting smaller, more accepting, civil and sympathetic, more intelligent and less overpowering to our fellow man - and woman. Women are no longer our servants, housewives and caretakers but our absolute equals, in both culture and physiological stature. Know that it's merely your instinct or your "animal brain" teaching you these things.

    Auy-m'dear, you must be patient. Remember recovery will be a long, sometimes draining process, and sometimes you'll want to rush to the finish line when it may be months, years yet before it comes to a conclusion. A few more days or weeks is just more time to reflect, to try to accept and underpin the REAL issues that you think are the root of your problems. So when you finally see someone you might have some real fuel for the recovery machine instead of "I don't know , help me please!" -because they'll just say "I have no magic wand, I need more information to help you!" (Speaking from experience here; I don't know what I expected, but my first appointment I asked, "how can you heal me?" - assuming they were some kind of sorceror or hypnotist genius. In reality they will offer the same support as us here, but with a consistent, reliable face and more comprehensive overview of your PERSONAL circumstances).

    Use your time well m'hon!
    • #81
    #81

    (Original post by 05autyt)
    Argggh just got a phonecall saying I'm on a waiting list. Why are the services so bad here. It's just so frustrating because I recognise I need to fix it and I want to fix it but now I can't get the help I need. I can't do this on my own!


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    Where are you based?

    I am also seemingly having to go through lots of hoops just to reach CBT practitioners. Apparently they might deal with me indirectly via a middle man, i.e dietitian tells the councilor what to say to me [sounds pretty silly if you ask me!]. Been to a couple of psychotherapy sessions which were largely useless as I originally thought...
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)

    Auy-m'dear, you must be patient. Remember recovery will be a long, sometimes draining process, and sometimes you'll want to rush to the finish line when it may be months, years yet before it comes to a conclusion. A few more days or weeks is just more time to reflect, to try to accept and underpin the REAL issues that you think are the root of your problems. So when you finally see someone you might have some real fuel for the recovery machine instead of "I don't know , help me please!" -because they'll just say "I have no magic wand, I need more information to help you!" (Speaking from experience here; I don't know what I expected, but my first appointment I asked, "how can you heal me?" - assuming they were some kind of sorceror or hypnotist genius. In reality they will offer the same support as us here, but with a consistent, reliable face and more comprehensive overview of your PERSONAL circumstances).

    Use your time well m'hon!
    Yeah I suppose so. I guess I just wish I'd never done this to myself. I'm still pretty certain theres a part of my head denying that I'm actually ill so i feel I should be able to fix it quickly but in reality I know I can't and it's going to be a long process. The thing I'm finding it harder to cope with are other people who think oh yeah you've been to a doctor you should be fine now! I also got majorly triggered last night by someone on twitter saying that Ellie goulding had looked fat on britians got talent. When I had been watching it I thought theres a nice healthy looking person and then my twitter was all 'look at her podge'! It caused me to have a panic attack. Thank you again for your advice toto you're such an inspiration!



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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Where are you based?

    I am also seemingly having to go through lots of hoops just to reach CBT practitioners. Apparently they might deal with me indirectly via a middle man, i.e dietitian tells the councilor what to say to me [sounds pretty silly if you ask me!]. Been to a couple of psychotherapy sessions which were largely useless as I originally thought...
    Yeah I feel like I have to jump through hoops. The guy I saw said in referring you to an eating disorders clinic and you'll have cbt and stuff with us as well. He rang me up this morning to say I'm on a waiting list for both and that meanwhile I would have some level two stuff with him and some other colleagues... No idea what that even means! But I'll just have to wait can't expect this to be fixed overnight and there are other people that need help too. I think mental health services in Britain need a lot of improvement in general though .. And I'm in Lincolnshire, where are you?


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    • #182
    #182

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What happened? I saw a GP who is booking me an assessment and I don't know what to expect, only that I will have to wait a few weeks to hear from them

    Basically a doctor i'm assuming or some sort of specialist sat me in a room with my mum and a support worker, took my weight & height and BMI, blood pressure etc.
    Then asked me a lot of questions about my eating behaviour (aka what do you eat for breakfast....when i replied well during the day i eat.... he was like No, what for breakfast which made me feel a bit weird).
    Then he asked about my exercising behaviours and stuff like that, any childhood trauma, then asked about my families mental health.
    It was all very introductory and questiony about behaviours (i guess to get to know my pattern of behaviour).
    They said they'd be in touch with a plan for me but so far not heard anything so feeling a bit left in the lurch here!

    I hope yours goes well, it seems that EVERYTHING takes so long when we're all here struggling with this illness and it's so infuriating sometimes.
    Sending strength your way.

    Comment back when you get an appointment and let us know how it goes? xoxo
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    By the way, if you go into any form of therapy that is mental-based with a sceptical or cynical outlook, of COURSE it's not going to work. Psychotherapy is about using your own optimism and using this as a conduit to channel SUGGESTED help.

    What I mean is, if you're not WILLING it to help you, it NEVER WILL.

    This is why if you go to something like this thinking "this'll be crap. It won't work. It just can't" - it won't. Because you've already let it beat you, you're not willing to help yourself with that mental state.

    Even if you have doubts, go into it with an optimistic attitude. It will increase the likelihood of it helping you, TEN fold.
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    I've been to the GP and she didn't really do anything other than refer me to a specialist [a week ago] and since then I've heard nothing is this normal?
    • #89
    #89

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically a doctor i'm assuming or some sort of specialist sat me in a room with my mum and a support worker, took my weight & height and BMI, blood pressure etc.
    Then asked me a lot of questions about my eating behaviour (aka what do you eat for breakfast....when i replied well during the day i eat.... he was like No, what for breakfast which made me feel a bit weird).
    Then he asked about my exercising behaviours and stuff like that, any childhood trauma, then asked about my families mental health.
    It was all very introductory and questiony about behaviours (i guess to get to know my pattern of behaviour).
    They said they'd be in touch with a plan for me but so far not heard anything so feeling a bit left in the lurch here!

    I hope yours goes well, it seems that EVERYTHING takes so long when we're all here struggling with this illness and it's so infuriating sometimes.
    Sending strength your way.

    Comment back when you get an appointment and let us know how it goes? xoxo
    Ooh it was a guy omg I hope I get a woman also I think I'd be a bit nervous about answering questions about what I eat
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by 05autyt)
    Yeah I feel like I have to jump through hoops. The guy I saw said in referring you to an eating disorders clinic and you'll have cbt and stuff with us as well. He rang me up this morning to say I'm on a waiting list for both and that meanwhile I would have some level two stuff with him and some other colleagues... No idea what that even means! But I'll just have to wait can't expect this to be fixed overnight and there are other people that need help too. I think mental health services in Britain need a lot of improvement in general though .. And I'm in Lincolnshire, where are you?


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    -glomps- CAMHS in lincolnshire is a bit naff.
    • #180
    #180

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ooh it was a guy omg I hope I get a woman also I think I'd be a bit nervous about answering questions about what I eat
    If you want to see a female, you might be able to request it after the assessment, however this could significantly irease the waiting time.

    Would you find it easier to keep a food diary, and show them that? :hugs:
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    I fear my advice is getting lost in the ether here but I'll continue to pitch in like a school teacher in a rabble.

    A GP nor specialist has any right to gouge you for information beyond your comfort, but likewise, cannot aid you beyond the information you provide. So basically, you want to stretch yourself as far as you can go, comfort-wise, in order to help yourself most.

    Your specialist, psychiatrist, psychologist; they are just a person, a singular human, just like you and I. They can only help you as far as the sympathetic notions go. If a person has never experienced what you have, they only have reference and text to go on, and you are not "textbook", are you? You're not someone that's been documented before, are you?

    Basically, we are unique in every capacity. When we feel overwhelmed, we need to be helped, but this does not mean we need a pat on the back. We need understanding, we need a person to advise. And sometimes a specialist has not experienced our exact circumstances. The more obtuse the situation, the less likely they will help you precisely. And this is why we as a forum and group are here.

    I'm trying to stress that you shouldn't get your hopes too high over this pedestal created for the NHS/private medical waiting list you're on, regardless of who you are. We are a group of people fighting through it. You wouldn't enter the ultimate fighting league trained by some guy who has read about it for five years if an entire group of hardened UFC fighters were willing to teach you, would you?!

    Any help is good help. Just please don't place certain venues on a magical pedestal, ok?
    • #182
    #182

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ooh it was a guy omg I hope I get a woman also I think I'd be a bit nervous about answering questions about what I eat
    I'm sure you'd be able to ask for a lady and it wouldn't be a problem 😀
    Yeah, I felt uncomfortable too but I guess they can't help until they know these thing s but at the same time it's completely up to you what you tell them, its information personal to you and everybody should respect that
 
 
 
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