Turn on thread page Beta

Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    So my mum told me i've lost loads of weight and said well done keep it up - you look so much better. I wish I felt it, but at least I look better. Still confused about these scales. The fat is going but the numbers aren't going down. Hmpf!!
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Wait, does she know you have an ED?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Wait, does she know you have an ED?
    Spoiler:
    Show
    i'm still trying to figure out if I do
    • #28
    #28

    (Original post by NotSoCool.Fly)
    you do sound a lot like me in the sense that i used to binge too and then want to lose the weight i have never been over weight but after the age of 16 i piled on a couple of stone due to the studying of my a levels and resorting to comfort food.

    I think you need to take control, like we all do. i want and need to lose weight im a few pounds over weight but it shows- i have a beer belly for a girl and i dislike it and i want to be happy and lose the lbs but it's hecka hard so remember youre not alone and despite being female i can relate

    i think you should look at things in moderation. remember food mustnt be all that great if youre treating your body like a dustbin and it's making you fat. so how about losing the weight healthilty and then when youve got to that ideal weight you can start adding in a few treats now and again and realise youre enjoying the food but this time it aint doing you any harm. remmeber the key word moderation. moderation. moderation is key. theres no point eating those 5 slices of pizza when you know afterwards when youre settled and its digesting it aint going to feel good; the high from the junk sugar doesnt last. but 1 or 2 slices you will feel less guilty and will be happy the next day instead of hating yourself for indulging. please try stay strong and be happy and know that youre not alone and we're here to help if youre having a bad day
    Thanks, much appreciated!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Well I didn't get an A, that's for sure. :cry: Probably got a C. It wasn't even a bad exam, I just completely messed up half of a question and my evaluation wasn't up to my usual standards. I'm trying not to dwell on it but all I can hear in my brain is screaming and blaming the fact I ate before my exam for my failure. :rolleyes: It's not even like I have the results so i dont need to be fatalistic about it but I sort of feel like I'm not going to get into UEA and it's all my fault for being an idiot and forgetting the easiest topic ever. I'm going to have a nap and then get something to eat and start revising for the other paper- can't let one not-even-that-bad exam ruin all the other ones! I just hate underperforming. :sigh:
    Aww we all have bad exams - i'm sure half a question and an evaluation isn't going to drop you 2 grades hun! I bet it went better than you thought. Don't let it affect your other exams xx
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    i'm still trying to figure out if I do
    Spoiler:
    Show
    You do, darl. :hugs:
    Hope your morning has been alright, you're beautiful :yep: :love:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by souldoubt)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    You do, darl. :hugs:
    Hope your morning has been alright, you're beautiful :yep: :love:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Aww hun you always make me feel better It's been... difficult! My apple ended up being thrown to the other side of the room :mad::mad: so annoyed with myself. And now I can't even do my run because my back is killing me.

    Yourself? Was so proud of you yesterday xx
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Aww hun you always make me feel better It's been... difficult! My apple ended up being thrown to the other side of the room :mad::mad: so annoyed with myself. And now I can't even do my run because my back is killing me.

    Yourself? Was so proud of you yesterday xx
    You'll be alright. Don't worry about the run, just spend some time relaxing. :yep:
    :hugs:

    I'm okay - haven't eaten yet but going to try and tackle another meal today
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by souldoubt)
    You'll be alright. Don't worry about the run, just spend some time relaxing. :yep:
    :hugs:

    I'm okay - haven't eaten yet but going to try and tackle another meal today
    Spoiler:
    Show

    :emog:

    :jumphug:

    :macarena:

    :kissing2:

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Well I didn't get an A, that's for sure. :cry: Probably got a C. It wasn't even a bad exam, I just completely messed up half of a question and my evaluation wasn't up to my usual standards. I'm trying not to dwell on it but all I can hear in my brain is screaming and blaming the fact I ate before my exam for my failure. :rolleyes: It's not even like I have the results so i dont need to be fatalistic about it but I sort of feel like I'm not going to get into UEA and it's all my fault for being an idiot and forgetting the easiest topic ever. I'm going to have a nap and then get something to eat and start revising for the other paper- can't let one not-even-that-bad exam ruin all the other ones! I just hate underperforming. :sigh:
    Seriously, don't stress it! Our teacher told us that he wasn't going to teach us ANY ethics because you only need to do okay in two questions to pass! (Obviously I'm not actually insane so I did teach it to myself in the end.) So even if you messed up half a question (which I'm sure you didn't anyway) you'll seriously be fine! It's just the perfectionist mindset eh :hugs: and you will absolutely get into UEA

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Have to say, my brain was doing exactly the same thing. This is going to sound pathetic but I got to the end and I was flipping back through everything I'd written and all I could see was how huge my hand was, it seemed like my fingers were so podgy and all I could think was 'how the hell can I have done okay when I had half a slice of toast this morning and this is why my hand is so big and this is why I have failed this'. But you know what, I'm glad I did attempt breakfast because it gave me energy, and now that I've calmed down a bit I can see that the exam wasn't that bad and even I can admit my hands are like ****ing claws! :rolleyes:


    hope that spoiler worked, I've never done one before haha
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You have reached the limit of how many posts you can rate today!
    This. And that's why I really dislike the weight criteria for AN, because it doesn't ****** matter. Yes, you're probably 'more likely' to die at a sub 17.5 BMI but you can die as a result of ED behaviour at any weight if you do it for long enough, you can have all the thoughts at any weight. It's a symptom- ONE symptom and focusing on it just makes you feel like you're not ill enough to warrant any help because tbh there's always going to be someone who weighs less than you. If you're struggling with this illness, get help whatever your weight.
    What makes it worse is, whenever AN sufferers are shown on Tv, like on Supersize vs Superskinny, or there were twins on This morning quite recently, they pretty much ALWAYS look like they're at deaths door. So the general public believes that you can only have AN if your really,really thin. So we assume that we've also got to be really,really thin before we're taken seriously.

    DD, your exam wont have gone soo badly that you'll only get a C. I had a GCSE Music written paper about my composition. 5 questions. I answered 3, and didnt even finish the third. Still managed to come out with an A* overall (composition, performance and 2 written papers)

    (Original post by Cinamon)
    xx
    Cinnamon, your not a failure. As long as your keeping it down, thats a start!

    Spoiler:
    Show
    I've managed:
    b- a cup of coffee,a slice of brioche, (didnt really want the brioche, but needed to force something solid down as I felt I was going to be sick. More plesant to bring something up other than water.)
    d- a slice of bread and butter
    s- an apple.


    I seem to be tearing my food into little pieces again, and another friend isnt eating lunch again. Which is triggering as hell. When I go down to london for an open day, I'm going to have to ask her to eat SOMETHING resembling a normal meal, otherwise I'll feel too guilty/greedy to eat.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    failure for eating it
    Pet, no your not. Your body NEEDS food to keep that brain of yours ticking over, and for your body not to go 'F-this, we'll have to start nomming on the heart muscle, because we've nowt else to burn.

    (Original post by *custardcream)
    No, I most DEFINITELY do not want to be part of team tit . *huge issues*.
    Not helped by the fact that even at a BMI 12.2 I was a ****ing C-cup, I kid you not. .
    WOWERZ. Pair of 38B bewbs going if you want them? They do hower look a LOT bigger than they are because of the band size. The lads in my year like to guess how large our boobs are. They always assume i'm a D cup+

    Edit: and now i'll mooch off. terrorfied i'll trigger one of you and make you eleventygazillion times worse.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Had a bad day yesterday. Basically, my issues with food have never really been dealt with - the whole eating enough and not feeling bad about it was but the deeper issues were never touched (something I'm trying to work on now). I gained weight at uni and to begin with it was the normal weight most people gain at uni (the whole freedom to eat what you want when you want etc) but then a mix of having a bullying flatmate and exam stress/wanting to be perfect academically lead to me binging on junk food.

    So I'm trying to lose the weight healthily, which is hard because of late my ED's been starting to rear its ugly head. Yesterday I was in a '**** it' mood and asked the parents if I could make biscuits (seeing as I've been eating well all week - not too much and not too little though admittedly not nearly enough fruit and veg) and my Dad started joking around saying I couldn't I needed to lose the weight etc and I absolutely lost it - it was like my ED had been put into his body, even though he was only joking. I ended up binging except in the long run of things it wasn't exactly a binge. It was just a sandwich and a few chocolates but I just felt awful, even while eating it... I dunno why I'm posting, just wanted to get that off my chest. I really need to work on my relationship with food - I used to avoid it when I was upset with my academics or whatever with the odd binge when things got bad but now, whilst it's probably still miles better than before, it's still not healthy.

    EDIT: Oh and on the subject of big boobs - I had them even when I was at my lowest (I think around a 32C, now something like a 34E or EE, I don't even know where they came from. I'm not complaining though, I quite like my boobs :p:)
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    ah but there is plenty of fat to burn :ashamed2:
    :hugs:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Wow Toto...
    I had absolutely no idea, yet now it all seems to make sense. The way you are so articulate when writing about food, when it's all because of how much you analyse and think about every bite you eat. I don't mean that to sound nasty in any way.

    I don't have an eating disorder, but I have been close, or rather, close to having disordered eating. Which is basically an eating disorder without it being as bad.

    It all started when I was getting bullied for being fat. I now know that with a BMI of 26, I was hardly huge!
    I would exercise every night in secret in my bedroom, while writing out meal plans for the next couple of days. Nothing ever worked because I have so little willpower (probably a good thing) that I never stuck to any routine for long.
    There were days when I would eat at least two chocolate bars on my way to school, and days where I would eat literally nothing.
    I then joined WW with my mum. The doctor ok'd it as I was only 15 at the time. Everyone told me I didn't need to lose any weight but I refused to listen to them.
    I rapidly lost almost two stone, then plateaud at 10 stone. When I look back now, even that was too small for my frame. I have really wide hips (and it is actually my hips not just fat) and super broad shoulders from gymnastics and swimming while growing up. But I was convinced I needed to lose at least a stone more. Never mind the fact I was wearing a size 8-10, and my head looked like a lollipop.
    I began completely restricting what I ate on WW. You can eat anything as long as you count it, but I was filling up on cucumber and cottage cheese, tomatoes and "free" soup and stews. These basically consisted of as many vegetables that I could fit in a pan. I was practically doing the crash cabbage soup diet, while on a "healthy" plan like WW.
    I struggled to lose anymore weight and after putting on some weight over Christmas that year I gave up.
    Over the 5 years since I gave up i have gained 5 stone. I have lost stones, but put them on again. I yoyo so badly.
    I had a gym membership and went as often as possible and stayed as long as possible. I lost over a stone quite quickly, then put on two.
    Over the last two days I have eaten a 400g bar of chocolate almost entirely to myself. And almost no additional food. And I doubt I will, because some days it's all about the calories not the content.
    I've tried so many crash diets and given up, I've tried a liquid only diet even.
    But again and again, no matter how much I hate my body, I cannot lose weight consistently. It's like I'm punishing myself for some reason.
    I worry that I'm sabotaging myself subconsciously because I wanted to take it too far all those years ago.
    I look at myself and feel sick at my reflection, but I sit and pig out on crap...
    Some days I can barely hit 300-400 calories in food, then I'll ruin it all by eating crap. Ruin? What a strange choice of word given I know how bad that few calories in a day is...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Just wondering, does anyone here happen to know the average waist size of a male in the UK?

    Currently struggling to fit into 28 jeans, they keep slipping off, and I'm just wondering what IS the ideal waist size anyway?

    ----------- ---------- ------------

    Ruthie, no offence but it does KINDA sound like an eating disorder just not one of the more obvious ones. Eating disorders are more about the emotional connotations with eating and not just the actions induced. If you feel that food is becoming an issue it is better to sort that issue out now before you begin to obsess over it. The love is here for you girl!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    It's pretty hard to be diagnosed with an eating disorder when you're obese though... Hence why I lean towards disordered eating. I'm not "sick" enough to warrant an official diagnosis and my GP is rubbish, Doesn't believe that I try to lose weight basically. You can see it in people eyes. Whenever someone who is fat talks about trying to lose weight, or how hard it is, or about a bad relationship with food in either direction, you can see the disbelief in their eyes and hear it in the tone of their voice.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kebabbi)
    Seriously, don't stress it! Our teacher told us that he wasn't going to teach us ANY ethics because you only need to do okay in two questions to pass! (Obviously I'm not actually insane so I did teach it to myself in the end.) So even if you messed up half a question (which I'm sure you didn't anyway) you'll seriously be fine! It's just the perfectionist mindset eh :hugs: and you will absolutely get into UEA

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Have to say, my brain was doing exactly the same thing. This is going to sound pathetic but I got to the end and I was flipping back through everything I'd written and all I could see was how huge my hand was, it seemed like my fingers were so podgy and all I could think was 'how the hell can I have done okay when I had half a slice of toast this morning and this is why my hand is so big and this is why I have failed this'. But you know what, I'm glad I did attempt breakfast because it gave me energy, and now that I've calmed down a bit I can see that the exam wasn't that bad and even I can admit my hands are like ****ing claws! :rolleyes:



    hope that spoiler worked, I've never done one before haha
    *hugs*

    Thank you hun! I'm calmed down a bit. Time to revise for Implications. *le sigh*
    :hugs: to you too! Everything will be fine!
    And
    Spoiler:
    Show
    It gets to a point where it's sort of funny in a really ****** up way. If something bad happens it's because you've eaten or because you're huge even though you're actually not and 'normal' people eat and don't give a **** and certainly don't blame bad things on eating! For me it was my thighs, for the last few minutes I was writing so intensely I was leaning foward and I was like 'Ew, they're spreading and melding together.' and then I sort of laughed at myself because I was thinking about my frigging THIGHS in an exam. This whole damn illness is such a head **** that sometimes you have to laugh at it. And well done on eating before hand! I have to tell myself that the momentary pain of eating is better than the pain of failing on results day because I couldn't eat to help me get through the exam. You don't realise how much energy it takes to do exams, I fell asleep as soon as I got home and I'm mentally drained now haha!
    You're so lovely! I really want you to be ok! :hugs:

    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    What makes it worse is, whenever AN sufferers are shown on Tv, like on Supersize vs Superskinny, or there were twins on This morning quite recently, they pretty much ALWAYS look like they're at deaths door. So the general public believes that you can only have AN if your really,really thin. So we assume that we've also got to be really,really thin before we're taken seriously.

    DD, your exam wont have gone soo badly that you'll only get a C. I had a GCSE Music written paper about my composition. 5 questions. I answered 3, and didnt even finish the third. Still managed to come out with an A* overall (composition, performance and 2 written papers)
    I was in IP with one of the twins and tbh, she looked slightly better weightwise on This Morning if you can believe it. It's so true. I sort of wish the media would just stay out of EDs. You always see those trashy magazines with a story of an AN sufferer (why is bullimia/EDNos/COE hardly covered?) with a HUGE picture of them practically naked exposing every bone and I just think... why? Those articles are never informative, they're usually laden with numbers and detailed lists of what the person ate and then a tacked on 'ending' where they say a dramatic event prompted them to get better. I don't think I looked like I was on deaths door when I (apparently) was on death's door because I didn't get to as low a weight as other people and certainly not as low as the people you see in the general media. When I got officially diagnosed, I specifically remember saying to the psych: 'But I don't look anorexic, I'm too big.' I was medically emaciated at that point but I didn't feel like I was because I still had boobs and a bum (:rolleyes:) and I looked normal once I put one my millions of layers of clothes and so I thought I was fine and didn't actively look for help because I felt like a fake. I was lucky in the sense that I was already in contact with CAHMS when I first started getting ill so I couldn't refuse treatment and I was taken seriously because they knew me and knew what I was like beforehand and saw the change before I even realised I was ill. Sometimes it feels like people forget AN and other EDs are mental illnesses first and foremost that become physical and, this is just my view, but I think the psychological side is more important than the physical side once you're out of danger-zone physically, because if your mind isn't in a better place psychologically, you're going to respond to difficult triggers with relapse. I'm no psychiatrist though, this is just my opinion.


    I agree wholeheartedly with the B-eat media guidelines- I can't link to it because it's a PDF but they're pretty comprehensive. I wish the media would take notice. I try to avoid most things that I think will trigger me but it's hard to avoid everything.


    (Original post by Beat)
    beat is particularly concerned about the typical use of images of severely emaciated bodies to routinely portray eating disorders in print and broadcast media. People interviewed for their life stories also frequently feel under
    pressure to supply pictures of themselves at their lowest weight in order to show how ill they were.
    Our view is that such pictures do not help build a positive understanding of eating disorders in the general public – not least because they perpetuate the mistaken view that eating disorders are only about extreme thinness. More importantly, such images are potentially very harmful to people struggling to overcome
    anorexia in particular.

    The specific influence of these cultural ideals on people at risk of eating disorders is that they maintain and perpetuate the illness, rather than cause it.
    Thank you Snowflake! :hugs: I have my fingers crossed anyway, I'm trying to remind myself it's not a science and there's no one right answer. :rolleyes:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Thank you Snowflake! :hugs: I have my fingers crossed anyway, I'm trying to remind myself it's not a science and there's no one right answer. :rolleyes:
    It could be worse, it could be Chemistry, where you've got to balance equations you've never seen before.

    This series of SSvsSS had an AN sufferer, a bulimic and a lass with AN:binge purge subtype. Would still like them to do EDNOS, though.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ruthie!)
    It's pretty hard to be diagnosed with an eating disorder when you're obese though... Hence why I lean towards disordered eating. I'm not "sick" enough to warrant an official diagnosis and my GP is rubbish, Doesn't believe that I try to lose weight basically. You can see it in people eyes. Whenever someone who is fat talks about trying to lose weight, or how hard it is, or about a bad relationship with food in either direction, you can see the disbelief in their eyes and hear it in the tone of their voice.
    I just had a rant about that and lost the post. No offence hun but your mindset sounds pretty disordered. I did/sometimes do the same things. I used to live on chocolate and then I'd get terrified and live off liquids and then I'd get terrified of liquids and fast and then I'd end up 'binging' and then I'd compensate. That attitude is disgusting, tbh. It's so judgmental and unfair. :hugs: I really hope you get some help. Could you change your GP/get some therapy? A few months after I got out of hospital I was really struggling with eating and I blurted it out to my nurse and she weighed me and said 'At least your weight hasn't gone down.' so basically saying my not-eating was fine. It's so difficult to trust professionals when some of them are biased by their own views- my consultant used to call my ED 'dieting' and didn't understand why I got so angry about it. I know it's not the same thing but there does seem to be this view that you're ok if your weight is ok and in reality, that's not always the case. There will be someone out there who can offer you the help you deserve.

    We're all here for you. I hate that you (and people with EDs/disordered eating in general) have to feel 'sick enough' to feel they deserve help. If it's affecting your life, and it sounds like it is, you need help. :jumphug:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    It could be worse, it could be Chemistry, where you've got to balance equations you've never seen before.

    This series of SSvsSS had an AN sufferer, a bulimic and a lass with AN:binge purge subtype. Would still like them to do EDNOS, though.
    I did Chemistry at AS. Never again! :rolleyes: Mad props to anyone who manages it! I actually really liked balancing equations though. I just hated... everything else and I sucked at it haha

    Oh really? That's pretty good! I wish I could watch SSvsSS without being triggered. *sigh*
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 31, 2015
Poll
Which accompaniment is best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.